  A French Conversation. Voltaire once said, "It is not clear, therefore it cannot be French." This is only partially true, for the French language furnishes abundant material for puns and misunderstandings, intentional or otherwise. The following amusing instance may serve as an illustration:— Two sportsmen met together on their way home. "Where do you come from?" the first asked the second, who was trembling with fright. "I come—I come—from the forest of Bondy." "And why are you so excited?" "I have been attacked by robbers." "How many were there?" "Sept." "What did you say?" "Je dis sept." "Dix-sept?" "No; sans dix." "Cent dix?" "Oh, dear! no. Sans dix, sept." "Good gracious! Cent dix-sept?" "Nonsense. Sept sans dix-sept." "Sept cent dix-sept." "You don't understand me. Je te dis sept sans dix!" "Dix-sept cent dix." "You will drive me mad! Je te dis sept sans dix-sept!" "Dix-sept cent dix-sept! I can understand your being frightened with such a number." To Preserve Cut Flowers.—An important rule in preserving cut flowers is never to cram the vase with flowers. Many will last if only they have a large mass of water in the vase and not too many stalks to feed on the water and pollute it. Vases that can hold a large quantity of water are to be preferred to the spindle-shaped trumpets that are often used. Flat dishes covered with wet sand are also useful for short-stalked or heavy-headed flowers; even partially-withered blooms will revive when placed on this cool moist substance. Moss, though prettier than sand, is to be avoided, as it soon smells disagreeably, and always interferes with the scent of the flowers placed in it for preservation. The Way of the World.—The world deals good-naturedly with good-natured people, and I never knew a sulky misanthropist who quarrelled with it but it was he and not it that was in the wrong.—Thackeray. Mothers' Thoughts. Ungrateful Gratitude.—There are minds so impatient of inferiority that their gratitude is a species of revenge, and they return benefits not because recompense is a pleasure, but because obligation is a pain.—Dr. Johnson. Double Acrostic. Dissatisfied with their appointed lot, These both aspir'd to seem what they were not; Foil'd in their schemes, they recognis'd, too late, The folly of attempts to shake the state. The first became, t' avoid a harsher doom, A menial, baser than the lowest groom; The second paid a far more heavy tax; Tried and condemn'd, he perished by the axe. 1. So fair and flatt'ring, and so bright of hue, Will it betray us? or will it be true? 2. Friend of two great philosophers, this youth Boasted himself yet more, the friend of truth. Throughout a long career he strove to scan The wondrous working of great Nature's plan, And taught his pupils, strolling at their ease, 'Neath pleasant shelter of umbrageous trees. 3. The glorious witness to the living faith, In tortures passing unto life through death. 4. How many bow'd their heads to meet this thing! Priest, warrior, noble, princess, e'en a king. 5. The good old man, whose tender, loving heart, Unfitted him to act the sterner part Of curbing his rebellious children's will; His mild reproof they disregarded, till There fell the doom that had been prophesied, And in one day the sons and father died. 6. Oft melted and then pour'd into a mould, Translucent and inodorous when cold, Useful, abundant, and of little cost, Mis-spelt, miscall'd by those who use me most. 7. A butcher's son, who rose to eminence In legal circles by his clear good sense; For public service he was made a peer, And held the woolsack twice for many a year. 8. The Roman youth, to prove his hardihood, Thrust his right hand into the fire that stood Before the king; shrivel'd his hand remained, And he this surname by that act obtain'd. 9. A bird of Africa, that shows the way To where wild bees their stores of honey lay; Then perch'd aloft, content t' await his share Of honey which the hunters leave him there. 10. The elder daughter, offer'd as a bride To him who foes successfully defied. With conquest flush'd, the low-born victor came, The fair princess's promis'd hand to claim, But only came to disappointment; since She had already wed a pow'rful prince. 11. A jutting cape, which, when the Northmen spied, A fanciful resemblance they descried To human features; so they gave a name To mark that cape, and still it bears the same. 12. How do you call that line, which, year by year, Traces the sun's course round the pictur'd sphere? 13. In Scandinavian fables I am nam'd "Destroyer," and as evil genius fam'd; Interpolate one letter, and 'tis strange That I become preserver by the change. Ximena. |
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