  Hail, bride and bridegroom of the West! Your troth irrevocably plighted! Your act of Union doubly blest, Your single States United, With full approval and assent Of populace and President! Let Spangled Banners wave on high, To greet the maiden as she passes! See how the proud Proconsul’s eye Grows dim behind his glasses! How fond the heart that beats beneath Those pleated Presidential teeth! The bishop has received his cheque, The final slipper has been thrown; With rice down each respective neck, The couple stand alone. To them, at last, the fates provide A privacy so long denied. Letters and wires, from near and far, Lie thickly piled on ev’ry table; The peaceful message from the Czar, The Kaiser’s kindly cable; The well-expressed congratulations From Heads of all the Sister Nations. Rich gifts, as countless as the sand That cloaks the desert of Sahara, From fish-slice to piano (grand), From toast-rack to tiara, Still overwhelm the lucky maid (With heavy duties to be paid!). See, hand-in-hand, the couple stand! (The guests their homeward journey take, Concealing their emotion—and Some lumps of wedding cake!) How glad the happy pair must be That Hymen’s bonds have set them free! Free of the curious Yellow Press, Free of the public’s prying gaze, Of all the troubles that obsess The path of fiancÉs! Alone at last, and safely screen’d From onslaughts of the kodak-fiend! The Bride, who bore without demur The wiles of artists photographic, Of vulgar crowds that gaped at her, Congesting all the traffic, Can shop, once more, in perfect peace, Without the help of the police. Arrayed in stylish trav’lling dress, Behold, with blushes she departs! The free Republican Princess A captive Queen of Hearts! (Captive to Cupid, need I say? But Queen in ev’ry other way!) And this must surely be the hour For Anglo-Saxons, ev’rywhere, With cousinly regard, to show’r Good wishes on the pair; Borne on the bosom of the breeze, Our blessings speed across the seas! Hail, Bride and Bridegroom of the West! (Pray pardon my redundant lyre) May your united lives be blest With all your hearts’ desire! Accept the warm felicitations Of fond, if distant, blood-relations! “How glad the happy pair must be |
|
