LETTERS FROM MISS LUCY LEE TO MRS. KATE KING. GRAHAM’S MAGAZINE. Vol. XXXI. October, 1847. No. 4. Contents
Transcriber’s Notes can be found at the end of this eBook. AnaÏs Toudouze LE FOLLET Boulevart St. Martin, 61 Coiffure de F. Hamelin, pass. du Saumon, 21—Chapeau de Mme. Baudry, r. Richelieu, 87; Plumes et fleurs de Chagot—Robes de Palmyre—Dentelles de Violard, r. Choiseul, 2bis; Mouchoirs de L. Chapron & Dubois, r. de la Paix, 7; Eventail de Vagneur DuprÉ, r. de la Paix, 19—Chaussures de Baptiste, bt. St. Denis, 4. Graham’s Magazine. GRAHAM’S MAGAZINE. Vol. XXXI. PHILADELPHIA, OCTOBER, 1847. No. 4. A ROMANCE OF REAL LIFE. ——— TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH BY LEONARD MYERS. ——— “Heavens! what is this?” exclaimed, with one accord, several personages who were assembled in the dining-room of the castle of Burcy. The Countess de Moncar had just inherited—by the death of an uncle, who had lived at a great distance, and was little regretted by her—an old castle which she had never even seen, although it was scarcely fifteen leagues from her own summer residence. Madame de Moncar, one of the most elegant, perhaps one of the prettiest women in Paris, was not very fond of the country. Leaving Paris in the end of June and returning in the beginning of October, she usually took with her to Morvan some of the companions of her winter amusements, and some gallants chosen from the most attentive of her partners in the dance. Madame de Moncar was married to a man much older than herself, and one who very seldom favored her with his company. Without abusing the liberty allowed her, she was charmingly coquettish; could trifle admirably, and be made happy by a compliment, a tender word, or the success of an hour; loving the dance for the pleasure of making herself agreeable, loving the very love she inspired, to see the flower which had fallen from her bouquet handed to her, and when occasionally some sober old relation mildly remonstrated with her, “Mon dieu,” she would reply, “let me laugh and live gayly, it is at least less dangerous than to remain in solitude listening to the beatings of one’s own heart—as for me, I scarcely know whether I possess one.” The fact is, the Countess de Moncar had never thought about the matter at all; it was all important for her that she should remain in doubt on the subject, and she found the most prudent method was never to allow herself time for reflection. One beautiful morning, then, in the month of September, she and her guests started on a visit to the unknown castle, intending to spend the day. A cross-road, which had been represented to them as passable, would reduce their journey to twelve leagues, and was therefore resolved on. The cross-road was shockingly bad, they lost their way in the woods, one of the coaches broke down, and it was not until mid-day that our travelers, overcome with fatigue, and little enraptured with the picturesque beauties of the route, reached the castle of Burcy, the appearance of which was not calculated to console them for the troubles of their journey. It was a large structure, with blackened walls, in front of the steps a kitchen-garden, then uncultivated, sloped from terrace to terrace, for the castle being almost buried in the sides of a wooded hill had no level space around it. Craggy mountains begirt it on every side, and the trees springing up amid the rocks lent a sombre verdure that was sad to look upon. Its forsaken condition added still more to the disorder of its natural wildness. Madame de Moncar stood riveted in amazement on the threshold of this old castle. “This looks very little like a party of pleasure,” said she. “I could weep at the melancholy aspect of the place. Nevertheless, here we have fine trees, stupendous rocks, and a roaring torrent—there is no doubt a degree of beauty in all this, but it is all too serious for me,” she added, smiling. “Let us enter and look at the interior.” “Yes, yes,” replied the hungry guests, “let us see if the cook, who left yesterday to prepare for us, has arrived more successfully than ourselves.” They were soon made aware of the joyful fact that a plentiful breakfast would be served in all haste, and meanwhile set about reconnoitering the castle. The antiquated furniture, with well-worn linen covers, chairs with only three feet, rickety tables, and the discordant sounds of a piano which had lain neglected for twenty years, furnished a thousand subjects for pleasant jokes. Their gayety returned, and it was agreed that instead of fretting at the inconveniences of their uncomfortable abode, they would laugh and joke at every thing. Besides, for this young and thoughtless company, this day was an event, a campaign, almost a perilous one, the originality of which began to appeal to the imagination. A fagot had been lighted in the large hall chimney, but puffs of smoke filling every nook, they made their escape into the garden. Here, too, the aspect was strange: the stone seats were covered with moss, the walls of the terraces in many places crumbling in, had left space between the ill-joined stones, where a thousand wild plants were growing, now shooting up straight and tall, now bending over to the ground like flexible vines; the walks were hidden beneath the green turf, and the parterres reserved for cultivated flowers had been invaded by wild ones, which spring up wherever the skies let fall one drop of rain or the sun sheds a ray. The white convolvulus twined round and choked up the monthly rose, the wild mulberry mingled with the red fruit of the currant, and the long fern, the sweet-scented mint, and the prickly thistle grew by the side of some long forgotten lilies. The minute the party entered the garden, innumerable little insects, frightened at the unusual noise, took refuge under the grass, and birds quitting their nests flew from branch to branch. The silence which had reigned for so many years in this peaceful spot gave place to the hum of voices and merry bursts of laughter. None of them appreciated this solitude, none even meditated on it, it was disturbed, profaned without respect. Numerous anecdotes were related of the different episodes of the most pleasant of their winter soirÉes, anecdotes mingled with agreeable allusions, expressive glances, hidden compliments; in fine, with all those thousand nothings that accompany the conversation of such as seek to be pleased, not yet claiming the right to be serious. The steward, after having vainly searched high and low through the whole castle to find a bell which might be heard at some distance, at last decided on calling out from the top of the steps, that breakfast was served up, while the half smile accompanying his words, showed that he, as well as his superiors, had made up his mind for that day at least to dispense with his ordinary habits of etiquette and propriety. They sat gayly down to table. The old castle was forgotten, the deserted condition in which they had found it, and the sadness that reigned around. All spoke at the same time, and they drank to the health of their hostess, or rather of the fairy whose presence alone made of that decayed habitation an enchanted palace. Suddenly every eye was turned toward the dining-room window. “Heavens! what is this?” they exclaimed. Before the castle windows a small cariole of osier, painted green, with large wheels, as high as the body of the vehicle itself, was seen to drive up and stop; it was drawn by a short gray horse, whose eyes seemed to be endangered by the shafts of the cabriolet, and were constantly turned upward. The drawn curtains of the cabriolet only disclosed a pair of arms covered with the sleeves of a blue surtout, and a whip that tickled the ears of the gray horse. It was this singular arrival which caused the exclamation of surprise related in the commencement of our story. “Gracious! ladies,” said Madame de Moncar, “I had forgotten to tell you that I was absolutely forced to invite the village doctor to breakfast with us; he is an old man who formerly rendered services to my uncle’s family, and whom I have seen once or twice. But be not alarmed at this new guest, he is very silent. After a few words of common politeness we may act as though he were not here—besides, I do not think he will stay long.” At this period the door opened and Doctor BarnabÉ entered. He was a little feeble old man, with a mild and calm countenance. His white hair was tied behind in a queue of the old style. A sprinkling of powder covered his temples as well as his forehead, which was furrowed with wrinkles. He wore a black coat, and breeches with steel buckles. On one arm hung a great-coat, lined with puce colored taffeta. The other hand held a large cane and his hat. The toute-ensemble of the toilette of the village doctor gave evidence that he had that day taken great pains with his dress; but his black stockings and coat were covered with large splashes of mud, as though the poor old man had fallen into some ditch. He stopped short on the threshold of the door, astonished at finding himself in so large a company. A slight embarrassment was depicted for a moment on his features, but he recovered himself and bowed without speaking. At this strange entrance the guests were seized with a great desire to laugh, which they repressed as well as they could. Madame de Moncar alone, who could not, as the mistress of the house, be wanting in politeness, remained serious. “Goodness! doctor, have you been upset?” she asked. Doctor BarnabÉ, before answering, glanced at the company around him, and however plain and naÏve his countenance might be, it was impossible for him not to detect the hilarity caused by his arrival. He answered tranquilly, “I was not upset. A poor wagoner had fallen under the wheels of his car, I was passing by and assisted him.” And the doctor made toward the chair which had been left empty for him. He took his napkin, unfolded it, passed one end through the button-hole of his coat, and spread the rest over his breast and knees. At this dÉbut, numerous smiles played on the lips of the guests, and some titters broke the silence. This time the doctor did not raise his eyes, perchance did not notice. “Are there many sick in the village?” said Madame de Moncar, whilst the new comer was being helped. “Yes, madame, many.” “The country, then, is unhealthy?” “No, madame.” “But from what do these diseases proceed, then?” “From the great heat during the harvests, and the cold and damp in winter.” Here one of the guests, assuming great gravity, mingled in the conversation. “Then, sir, in this healthy place they are sick all the year round?” The doctor raised his eyes to his questioner, looked at him, hesitated, and seemed to be suppressing or seeking for an answer. Madame de Moncar kindly came to his assistance. “I know,” said she, “that you are the savior here of all who suffer.” “O! you are too good,” the old man replied, and he appeared deeply occupied in a slice of patÉ he had just helped himself to. Doctor BarnabÉ was now left to himself and the conversation went on as before. If their eyes fell by chance on the peaceful old man, it was to glance a slight sarcasm, which, coupled with the conversation, might, they thought, pass unnoticed by him who was the object of it; not that these young persons were habitually impolite, and possessed no goodness of heart; but the occasion itself, the journey, the preparation for breakfast, their meeting, the smiles which commenced with the events of the day, all led to an unseasonable gayety, an infectious spirit of ridicule, which rendered them relentless to the poor victim whom chance had thrown in their path. The doctor appeared to eat tranquilly, without raising his eyes, without even seeming to listen, or uttering a word; they began to treat him as one deaf and dumb, and the breakfast was finished without restraint. When they rose from the table Doctor BarnabÉ stepped back a little, allowing each gentleman to choose the lady he wished to escort to the parlor. One being left alone he timidly advanced and offered her, not his arm, but his hand. The young lady’s fingers were scarcely grazed by those of the doctor, who, with an inclination of respect, proceeded with measured steps to the parlor. New smiles awaited this entrance, but no frown was seen on the old man’s brow, and they now declared him blind as well as deaf and dumb. Dr. BarnabÉ, leaving his partner, sought the smallest and plainest chair in the room. He drew it apart from the rest of the party, seated himself, placed his cane between his knees, crossed his hands upon the pommel of the cane, and leaned his chin on his hands. He remained silent in this meditative posture, and from time to time closed his eyes, as though a sweet sleep which he neither courted nor shunned was about to overcome him. “Madame de Moncar,” said one of the party, “you surely do not intend to reside among these ruins?” “No, indeed, that is not my intention; but here are tall trees and dense forests. M. de Moncar might easily be tempted to pass some months here in the game season.” “But then you would have to pull down, rebuild, and clear away.” “Come, we will think of a plan,” said the countess, “let us go out and trace the future garden of my domains.” The pleasure party, however, seemed doomed to ill luck. At that moment a heavy cloud burst overhead, and a fine thick rain beginning to fall, it was impossible for them to go out of doors. “Gracious! what are we to do?” said Madame de Moncar, “our horses need several hours rest—it will evidently rain for some time—the grass is so wet that we cannot walk a step for a week—the wires of the piano are all broken—there is not a book to be obtained for miles round, and this parlor is as chilly and gloomy as death. What will become of us?” In truth, the company but late so merry was imperceptibly losing its cheerfulness. Titterings and laughter gave way to silence. They went to the windows and looked at the sky, which remained dark and cloudy. All hopes of a walk were now put an end to. They seated themselves as well as they could on the old furniture—they tried to revive the conversation, but there are thoughts which, like flowers, need a little sun, and droop when the sky is dark. Those young heads seemed bent by the storm, like the garden poplars which we see wave before the wind. An hour passed tediously away. Their hostess, a little discouraged by the failure of her pleasure party, leaned languidly against the balcony of a window, and gazed on the country before her, “There,” said she, “down there on the top of the hill is a small white house which I shall have pulled down, it obstructs the view.” “The white house!” exclaimed the doctor. For more than an hour Doctor BarnabÉ had remained motionless in his seat. Joy, listlessness, the sun and the rain had followed each other without exciting one word from him. His presence had been entirely forgotten; so that when he pronounced those three words, “the white house!” all eyes were immediately turned upon him. “What interest have you in this house, doctor?” the countess asked. “Mon dieu! madame, do not mind what I said. It will be torn down, doubtless, since such is your wish.” “But why do you regret this decayed old building?” “Because—alas! because it was inhabited by those I loved, and—” “And do they intend to return to it, doctor?” “They are dead—long since, madame—they died when I was young.” And the old man gazed sadly at the white house, which rose from the woods on the hill like a daisy springing mid the grass. There were some moments of silence. “Madame,” said one of the party, aside to Madame de Moncar, “there is a mystery in this: see how sad our Esculapius has grown; some pathetic drama has taken place down there; a youthful love perhaps. Let us ask the doctor to tell us the story.” “Yes, yes,” was whispered on all sides, “let us have the narrative. A tale, a tale, and if there is no interest in it, we shall have the eloquence of the orator to amuse us.” “Not so, gentlemen,” Madame de Moncar answered, in a low tone, “if I ask Dr. BarnabÉ to tell the story of the white house, it is on condition that no one shall laugh.” Each having promised to be polite and attentive, Madame de Moncar drew near Doctor BarnabÉ. “Doctor,” said she, seating herself near him, “I perceive some remembrance of former times is connected with this house, which is dear to you. Will you tell it to us? I should be very sorry, indeed, to cause you a grief that it lay in my power to spare you. I will allow the house to remain if you will tell me why you cherish it.” Doctor BarnabÉ appeared astonished, and was silent. The countess drew still nearer to him, and said— “Dear doctor, see what bad weather it is, how dull every thing looks; you are older than any of us, tell us a tale, that we may forget the rain, the fog and the cold.” The doctor seemed more astonished than ever. “This is no idle tale,” he said. “That which transpired in the white house is very simple, and can have no interest for any one but myself. Strangers would not credit such a story. And then I cannot descant at length when there are listeners. Besides, what I have to recount is sad, and you have come here to be amused.” And the doctor again leant his chin on his cane. “Dear doctor,” returned the countess, “the house shall stand if you will only narrate to us what has caused your love for it.” The old man seemed moved; he crossed and uncrossed his legs, felt for his snuff-box, replaced it in his pocket unopened, and turned to the countess. “You will not tear it down,” he said, pointing with his thin and trembling hand to the dwelling which was seen in the horizon. “I promise it you.” “Well, be it so then. I will do this much for them—I will preserve the house where they were happy. Ladies, I am no orator, yet I think the least learned may make himself understood, when relating that which he has seen. I tell you beforehand the story is not gay. We call a musician when we would dance or sing, a doctor when we are suffering or about to die.” A circle was formed round Doctor BarnabÉ, who, with his hands still crossed over the head of his cane, calmly began the following narrative, in the midst of an auditory that all the while fully intended to laugh at his recital. It was long ago, it happened when I was young, for I too have been young—youth is a possession that all enjoy, the rich and poor, but which remains to no one. I had just passed my examination, having become a doctor; and well persuaded that, thanks to me, men would now cease to die, I returned to my native village to display my great talents. My village is not far from here. From my little chamber window I saw this white house, on the opposite side from that you are now gazing on. My village would certainly have no great beauty in your eyes, but to me it was superb. I was born there and loved it. Each one sees in his own particular manner the things he loves, and adapts himself to continue this love. The Almighty permits us at times to be somewhat blind, for he knows that to see every thing clearly in this lower world is not always desirable. This country then appeared smiling and animated to me, for I could live happily here: the white house alone, each day when I rose and opened my shutters, struck disagreeably on my sight—it was always closed, noiseless and sad, like a deserted thing. Never had I seen its windows open and shut, its door ajar, or the garden-gate give entrance to any one. Your uncle, who had no use for a dwelling by the side of his castle, endeavored to let it, but the price was rather high, and there was no one near wealthy enough to reside in it. Thus it continued tenantless, whilst in the village, at the slightest noise which made the dogs bark, the forms of two or three happy children might be seen at every window, putting aside the branches of the gilly-flower to look into the street. But one morning on awaking I was agreeably surprised at seeing a ladder against the walls of the white house, a painter was painting the window-shutters green; a servant was cleaning the panes of glass, and a gardener digging the garden. “So much the better,” I said, “a good roof like that sheltering no one is so much lost.” From day to day the house changed its appearance, boxes of flowers concealed the nakedness of the walls; a parterre was laid out before the steps, the walks, cleared of their weeds, were graveled, and muslin curtains, white as the driven snow, glittered in the sun when his rays shone in the windows. Finally, one day a post-chaise passed through the village and stopped before the enclosure of the little house. Who were these strangers? none knew, though every one in the village was longing to ascertain. For a long time nothing was known of what took place within the dwelling, but the roses bloomed and the green grass on the lawn grew. How many conjectures were made on this mystery—they were adventurers who were concealing themselves, perhaps a youth and his mistress; in fine, every thing was guessed but the truth. The truth is so plain that often we do not think of it; for when once the imagination is set to work, it seeks right and left, nor dreams of looking straight forward. As for me, I troubled myself but little about it. What matters it, thought I, who they are, they are human beings who must undergo sickness before long, and then I shall be sent for. I waited patiently. In reality, one morning I was sent word that Mr. William Meredith desired to see me. So I dressed myself with great care, and endeavoring to put on a gravity fitting my station, I passed through the whole village, not a little proud of my importance, and many envied me that day, they even stood at their doors to see me pass, saying, “he is going to the white house;” and I, to all appearance disdaining a vulgar curiosity, walked slowly along, nodding to my neighbors, the peasants, with an “au revoir, my friends, I will see you again later on; this morning I have business on hand.” And in this manner I reached the abode there on the hill. When I entered the parlor of this house I was pleased at the sight that presented itself; all was at once plain and elegant. The handsomest ornaments of the house were the flowers, which were so artistically arranged that gold could not have adorned it better. White muslin festooned the windows, and there were white coverings on the arm-chairs, this was all—but there were roses and jessamines, and flowers of every kind, as in a garden. The light was softened by the window curtains, the air was filled with the delicious perfume of flowers, and reclining on a sofa a young girl, or rather a young woman, fair and fresh as all that surrounded her, welcomed me with a smile. A handsome young man, who was seated on a stool near her, rose when Dr. BarnabÉ was announced. “Sir,” said he, with a strongly marked foreign accent, “your skill is so highly spoken of here that I expected to have seen an old man.” “Sir,” I replied, “I have studied deeply, and am convinced of the importance of my station. You may place reliance in me.” “Very well,” said he, “I commit my wife to your care, her present situation calls for some advice as well as precaution. Born far from here, she left home and friends to follow me, and I to guard and repay her have nothing but love—no experience. I rely upon you, sir, to keep her if possible from every suffering.” And the young man as he spoke cast on his wife a look so full of love that her large blue eyes glistened with tears of gratitude. She dropped a child’s cap she was embroidering, and with both hands pressed the hand of her husband. I beheld them, and should have found that their lot was enviable, but did not. I had often seen persons weep and called them happy. I saw Mr. Meredith and his wife smile, and yet could not repress the thought that they had their sorrows. I took a seat near my charming patient. Never have I seen aught as beautiful as that face covered with the long ringlets of her fair hair. “How old, are you, madame?” I asked. “Seventeen years.” “And this distant country in which you were born, is the climate there very different from ours?” “I was born in America, at New Orleans. Oh! the sun is brighter there.” And fearing, doubtless, that she had expressed a regret, she added— “But every country is beautiful when it is the abode of one’s husband, and we are near him, expecting the birth of his child.” Her eyes sought those of William Meredith, then, in a language I did not understand, she spoke some words, in so sweet a tone, they must have been of love. After a short stay I left, promising to return soon. I did return—and at the end of two months was almost a friend for this young couple. Mr. and Madame Meredith had no selfish happiness, they could still spare the time to think of others. They could understand that a poor village doctor, having no other society than that of peasants, would deem an hour well spent that was passed in listening to polished conversation. They attracted me to them, told me of their travels, and soon, with the frank confidence that characterizes youth, they related to me their story. It was the young wife who spoke— “Doctor,” she said, “beyond the seas I have a family, father, sisters and friends, whom I long loved till the day when I loved William; but then I closed my heart against those who spurned my friend. William’s father forbade him to love me, because he was too noble for the daughter of an American planter; my father forbade me to love William, for he was too proud to give his daughter to a man whose family would not have welcomed her with love. They would have separated us—but we loved! For a long time we implored, wept, asked forgiveness of those to whom we owed obedience, but they were inflexible—and we loved each other! Doctor, have you ever loved? I hope so, that you may be indulgent to us. We were privately married and fled toward France. Oh! how beautiful the sea appeared to me the first days of our love! It was hospitable for the two fugitives. Wandering in the midst of the waves, we passed happy hours seated in the shade of the large sails of the vessel, dreaming of the pardon of our parents, and seeing nothing but joy in the future. Alas! it did not come to pass thus: they wished to pursue us, and by the aid of some irregularity of form in our clandestine marriage, William’s ambitious family harbored the cruel idea of separating us. We have taken refuge in these mountains and woods, under an assumed name, and live unknown. My father did not pardon me, no, he cursed me! this is the reason, doctor, why I cannot always be gay even with William by my side.” Good God! how they loved. Never have I known a soul given to another, like that of Eva Meredith to her husband. Whatever employment she chose, she always placed herself where she might see William on raising her eyes. She read no book but that he read: with her head reclining on her husband’s shoulder, her eyes would follow the same lines that his traced; she even wished they both might have the same thoughts at the same time; and when I crossed the garden to reach the house, I could not sometimes refrain from smiling at seeing on the sand the traces of Eva’s little feet beside the foot prints of William. What a difference, ladies, between that solitary old house you see before you, and the pretty dwelling of my young friends—how flowers covered the walls and bouquets rested on all the tables, how many pleasant books of love tales resembled their love, and blithe birds sung around them. Oh! it was something to live and be beloved by those who loved so well. But mark how much reason we have in saying that our happy days are not long on this earth, and that God, who creates happiness, bestows but little here. One morning Eva Meredith seemed to be in pain. I questioned her with all the interest I felt for her, but she said hastily— “Hold, doctor, do not seek so far for the cause of my affliction, do not feel my pulse, it is my heart which beats too quick. Ascribe it to what you will, but I am vexed this morning. William is about to leave me, he is going to the next village, on the other side of the mountain, to receive some money sent to us.” “And when will he return?” I asked. She smiled, blushed slightly, and then with a look that seemed to say, do not laugh at me, answered, “this evening.” I could not help smiling, in spite of her imploring look. At this moment a servant brought to the steps the horse that Mr. Meredith was going to ride. Eva rose, went down into the garden, approached the horse, and playing with his mane, leaned her head on the animal’s neck, perhaps to hide her tears. William came, and springing on his horse, gently raised his wife’s head. “Child,” he said, whilst he fondly gazed on her and kissed her forehead. “William, it is because we have not yet been separated so many hours together.” Mr. Meredith bent forward, and again impressed a kiss on her forehead; he then put spurs to his horse and rode off at full speed. I am confident he, too, was somewhat affected. Nothing is so contagious as the weakness of those we love; tears beget tears, and he has self command, indeed, who can look on a weeping friend and resist their influence. I left the spot and entered my own little chamber, where I began to think of the great happiness of loving. I put the question to myself whether an Eva would ever partake of my humble dwelling. I did not consider if I was worthy of love. Good heavens! when we look on beings devoted to each other, we can easily see that it is not on account of certain reasons and things they love so well—they love because it is necessary for them, inevitably so; they love on account of their own heart, not that of others. Well, this happy chance, which brings together souls that have need of love, I sought to find, even as in my morning walks I would seek for a scented flower. And thus I dreamed, although it is a culpable feeling which, on seeing the happiness of others, makes us regret our own want of it. Is it not partly envy? And if joy could be stolen, like gold, should we not be tempted to possess ourselves of it? The day slipped away, and I had just finished my frugal supper, when a message came from Madame Meredith, imploring me to come to her house. In five minutes I was at the door of the white house. I found Eva still alone, seated on a sofa, unemployed, without even a book, pale and flurried. “Come in, doctor, come in,” she said, in her sweet manner; “I cannot stay alone any longer. See how late it is; he should have been here two hours ago, and he has not yet returned.” I was surprised at the protracted stay of Mr. Meredith, but in order to cheer his wife, I answered, without evincing any emotion, “What can we know of the time necessary to transact his business in when he reached the town? He may have been compelled to wait, or perhaps the notary was absent; papers may have had to be drawn and signed, and—” “Ah, doctor! I knew you would speak consoling words to me. I did not hesitate to send for you. I needed to hear some one tell me it was foolish in me to tremble thus. How long the day has been. Great God! are there persons who can exist alone? Do they not die at once, as though you were to take from them one half the air they breathed. But it is striking eight.” In truth it was eight o’clock. I could not understand why William had not returned. At all events I answered; “Madame, the sun is barely gone down; it is still daylight, and the evening is beautiful; let us inhale the sweet scent of your flowers; let us go to the spot where we are likely to meet him—your husband will then find you on his path.” She leant on my arm, and slowly walked toward the garden-gate. I endeavored to draw her attention to surrounding objects. She answered me at first as a child obeys, but I felt that her thoughts were far away. She gazed uneasily on the green gate which still remained half open as when William left, and leaning against the trellis, listened to me with now and then a smile of acknowledgment, for in proportion as it grew later did she lose the courage to answer me. Her eyes watched in the heavens the setting sun, and the gray tints that followed the brilliancy of its rays, gave certain evidence of the progress of time. Every thing grew dark around us. The turnings of the road, which till then had been visible through the woods, now disappeared beneath the shade of the lofty trees, and the village clock struck nine. Eva trembled; as for me, every stroke seemed to reach my heart. I felt for the sufferings of this poor young creature. “Remember, madame,” I said, (she had not spoken to me, but I read her uneasiness in every feature,) “remember that Mr. Meredith can only return slowly; the roads through the woods are continually over rocks, which do not admit of a quick passage.” I spoke thus to remove her apprehensions; but the truth was, I could no longer account for William’s absence. I, who was so well acquainted with the distance, knew that I could have been twice to the town and back since he had left. The evening dews began to moisten our clothes, and especially the thin muslin that Eva wore. I drew her arm within mine, and led her toward the house. Hers was a gentle disposition—all submission, even her grief. Slowly she walked, her head bowed down, her eyes riveted on the marks which her husband’s horse had left on the sand. Good heavens! it was sad, returning thus at night, and still without William. In vain did we listen, all was silent—that grand silence of nature, which, in the country, at nightfall, nothing disturbs. How every feeling of restlessness is increased at such a time. The earth looked so sad; in the midst of the obscurity, it seemed to remind us that in life, likewise, all at times becomes clouded. It was the sight of this young woman which caused these reflections; had I been alone, they never would have entered my mind. We re-entered the house. Eva sat down on the couch, and remained motionless, her hands clasped on her knees, and her head sunk on her breast. A lamp had been placed on the mantle, and the light fell full on her face. Never shall I forget its expression; she was pale—pale as marble; her forehead and cheeks of the same deathly hue; the dampness of the evening had lengthened the curls of her hair, which fell in disorder over her shoulders. Bright drops trembled beneath her eye-lids, and the quivering of her livid lips, but too plainly betrayed the effort to restrain her tears. She was so young that her countenance seemed rather that of a child forbidden to weep. I began to feel disturbed, and did not know how to conduct myself toward her. Suddenly I recollected (it was truly a doctor’s idea) that amid her grief Eva had taken no nourishment since the morning; and the situation she was in rendered it imprudent to prolong this privation of all food. At the first mention I made of it, she raised her eyes reproachfully to mine, and this time the motion of her eye-lids caused two hot tears to course down her cheeks. “For your child, madame,” I said, respectfully. “Ah! it is true!” she murmured; and she rose and went into the dining-room. But in the dining-room there were two plates on the little table; this, for the moment, appeared to me so afflicting, that I stood still without uttering a word. The uneasiness that was creeping over me made me quite awkward. I was not even skillful enough to say things which I did not believe. The silence continued; and, nevertheless, I would say to myself, I am here to console her—it was for this she sent for me. There are, doubtless, a thousand reasons that might explain this delay; let me think of one—but I sought, and sought in vain. I then remained silent, inwardly cursing the little wit of a poor village doctor. Eva did not eat any thing, but leaned on her hands. Suddenly she turned toward me, and bursting into sobs, said, “Ah, doctor! you also are disturbed, I see it.” “No, madame, no, indeed,” I replied, speaking at random; “why should I be uneasy? He has, no doubt, stopped to dinner with the notary. The country is safe, and beside, no one knows that he has money with him.” One of my presentiments had thus unconsciously escaped me. I knew that a company of strange reapers had passed through the village that very morning, on their way to a neighboring district. Eva gave a shriek. “Robbers! there are robbers, then. Oh! I never thought of that danger.” “But, madame, my only mention of them was to tell you there were none.” “Oh! you would never have thought of it, doctor, had you not supposed this misfortune possible. William! my William! why did you leave me!” and she wept. I stood there, vexed at my blunder, hesitating before every thought, stammering out some disconnected words, and feeling that to cap my misfortune, my eyes were filling with tears. At last a thought struck me. “Madame Meredith,” said I, “I cannot see you thus, and stay by your side without a consoling word. I will go in quest of your husband; I will, at all risks, take one of the roads leading through the woods; I will search every where, will call him by name, and go, if necessary, as far as the town itself.” “Oh, thanks! thanks, my friend!” Eva cried; “take with you the gardener and the servant, search in every direction.” We quickly returned to the parlor, and Eva rung the bell loudly several times. All the residents of the little house hurried into the room. “Follow Dr. BarnabÉ,” said Madame Meredith. Just then, the gallop of a horse was distinctly heard on the gravel walks. Eva uttered a cry of happiness that reached every heart. I can never forget the divine expression of joy which instantly lit that face, still bedewed with tears. We both rushed to the steps. The moon at this moment broke forth from the clouds, and shone full on a horse, covered with foam, and riderless, whose bridle dragged the ground, whilst the empty stirrups beat against his dusty sides. Another cry this time, a dreadful one, burst from Eva’s lips. She then turned toward me, her eyes fixed, her lips parted, and her arms dropping listless by her side. “My friends,” I said, to the frightened domestics, “light torches, and follow me. Madame, we will return soon, and, I trust, with your husband, who may be slightly hurt—a stumble, perhaps; do not despond, we will soon return.” “I will follow you,” murmured Eva Meredith, in a choking voice. I told her that it was impossible. “We must go swiftly,” I said, “perhaps a great distance; and in the state you are in, it would be risking your own life as well as your child’s.” “I will follow you,” she replied. O! then I felt how sad was the loneliness of this woman. If a father or mother had been there they would have commanded her to stay, they would have detained her forcibly; but she was alone on earth, and to my earnest entreaties, she still answered hoarsely, “I will follow you.” We set out, but clouds now hid the moon; there was no light in the heavens, nor on the earth, and we could scarcely grope our way by the unsteady blaze of our torches. The servant led the way, and waved the torch he held from right to left, to light the ditches and streams by the road-side. Behind him Madame Meredith, the gardener, and myself watched the glare of light, seeking with anguish for some object to present itself. From time to time we raised our voices, and called on William Meredith, and after us a stifled sob murmured the name of William, as though her heart depended on the instinct of love to make her sobs heard sooner than our shouts. We reached the woods. The rain began to fall, and the drops pattering on the leaves sounded so mournful, it seemed that all was weeping around us. The thin garments Eva wore were soon saturated by the cold rain. The water streamed from the hair and forehead of the poor young woman. She bruised her feet against the stones in the road, and frequently tottered, and was on the point of falling; but she sustained herself with all the energy of despair, and continued on her way. It was a mournful sight. The red glare of our torches lit in turn each rock and leafless trunk. Occasionally, at a bend in the road, the wind would almost extinguish this light, and we stopped, lost in darkness. We had called on William Meredith till our voices became so tremulous that we ourselves shuddered at them. I did not dare to look at Eva; in truth I feared she would fall dead before me. At last, at a moment when worn out and discouraged we were moving silently along, Madame Meredith suddenly pushed us aside, and darting forward, sprung across a heap of brush. We followed—as soon as we could raise a torch to distinguish objects, alas! we saw her on her knees beside the body of William; he lay stretched on the ground motionless, his eyes glazed, and his forehead covered with the blood that trickled from a wound on the left side of his head. “Doctor?” said Eva. That single word said—does he still live? I leaned forward and felt his pulse; I put my hand on his heart, and stood silent. Eva had watched every movement I made, but when I continued silent, the awful truth flashed upon her—she spoke no word, she uttered no cry, but fell in a swoon on the dead body of her husband. “But, ladies,” said Doctor BarnabÉ, turning to his audience, “see, the sun is shining; you can now go out. Let us leave this mournful story.” Madame de Moncar drew near the old man; “Doctor,” said she, “pray be good enough to finish. Look at us, and you will not doubt the interest with which we have listened to you.” And it was so, there were no more smiles of derision on those young faces that were gathered round the village doctor. Perhaps even tears could have been detected in some of their eyes. He resumed his narrative. Madame Meredith was carried home, and lay for several hours senseless on her bed. I felt that it was at the same time a duty and a cruelty to lavish on her the assistance of my art to recall her to life. I dreaded the heart-rending scenes that would follow this state of immobility; and I bent over her, bathing her temples with cooling water, and anxiously awaiting the grievous, but happy moment when I should see the breath of life issue from her lips. I was deceived in my anticipations, for I had never before seen a terrible misfortune. Eva opened her eyes, and closed them again instantly; the lids were not even moistened by a tear. She lay cold and silent, without motion; and I should have thought her dead, had I not felt her heart begin to throb beneath my hand. How mournful it is to witness a grief we know to be beyond all consolation. I felt that to remain silent seemed a want of pity for this unhappy woman, but that to speak consolingly were not to appreciate the depth of her sorrow. I, who was unable even to soothe her uneasiness—how could I hope to be more eloquent in the face of such an affliction. I adopted the safest plan, that of a complete silence. I said to myself that I would remain and take care of the physical evil; so I stood by her side as a faithful dog would have couched at her feet. My resolution once taken, I was calmer. In the course of a few hours I put a spoonful of a beverage that I deemed necessary to her lips. Eva slowly turned her head to the other side. In a few minutes I again attempted it. “Drink, madame,” I said; and I gently raised the spoon to her lips, but they continued closed. “Madame, for your child,” I said, in a low voice. Eva opened her eyes, and raising herself with difficulty, rested on her elbow, leaned over toward the drink I presented, and took it; she then fell back on her pillow. “I must wait till another life is separated from mine,” she murmured. From that time Madame Meredith spoke no more, but she followed my prescriptions mechanically. Stretched on her bed of grief, she seemed to sleep eternally; but whenever, in my lowest tone, I said to her, “raise yourself and drink this,” she obeyed at the first word, which proved to me that the soul was ever awake in that body, and found no moment of forgetfulness or repose. There was no one but myself to attend to William’s funeral. Nothing positive was ever known as to the cause of his death. The money that he was to have brought from the town was not found upon him; perhaps he had been robbed and assassinated; perhaps this money, given in notes, had fallen from his pocket at the time when his horse might have stumbled, and as they never thought of looking for it till some time afterward, it was not impossible that the rain had buried it in the muddy ground and wet grass. Some inquiries were instituted, but without result, and all search was soon given over. I endeavored to learn from Eva Meredith if it was not necessary to write some letters to inform her family, or her husband’s, of what had taken place. It was difficult to obtain an answer from her; but I succeeded at last in finding out that I had only need to acquaint their agent with it, and he would do all that was requisite. I hoped, then, that from England at least some news would come to decide the future of this unfortunate young woman. But days passed on and no one on earth appeared to know that the widow of William Meredith was living in utter solitude in a poor country village. Soon after this, in order to recall Eva to the feeling of existence, I expressed a desire that she would rise. The next morning I found her risen, and dressed in black; she was but the ghost of the beautiful Eva Meredith. Her hair was parted over her pale forehead; she was seated near a window, and remained motionless as when she had been in bed. And thus I passed long evenings near her. Each day I would accost her with words of condolence; but her only answer was a look of thanks, and then we sat still without speaking. I patiently waited for some opportunity to exchange a few thoughts with her; but my awkwardness and respect for her misfortune either could not find one, or if it occurred, let it pass by. By degrees I became accustomed to this absence of all conversation, to this reserve; and beside, what could I have said? It was of consequence she should feel that she was not absolutely alone in the world; and the support that was left her, humble though it might be, was still a consolation. I only visited her to say by my presence—I am here. It was a strange episode in my life, and had a great influence on the rest of my destiny. Had I not evinced to you so much regret at the thought of the white house being torn down, I would quickly pass to the conclusion of this recital; but you wished to know why this house was to me a consecrated place. It is necessary, then, for me to tell you that which I thought and felt beneath its humble roof. Ladies, you will excuse some serious reflections; it does the young no harm to be made sad at times, for they have plenty of time before them to laugh and forget. The son of a rich farmer, I had been sent to Paris to complete my studies. During the four years that I lived in that great city, I retained my awkwardness of manner, and my simplicity of style, but I had rapidly lost the ingenuousness of my sentiments. I returned to these mountains almost learned, but at the same time nearly incredulous as to every thing calculated to make us live happily beneath a thatched roof, surrounded by a family, with the prospect of the grave before us. When Eva Meredith was happy, her felicity began to afford me useful lessons. “They deceived me there,” I said. “There are true hearts, then; there are souls as pure as these children. The pleasure of a moment is not every thing in this life of ours; there are feelings which do not expire with the year; we can love for a length of time, perhaps forever.” And whilst I contemplated the love of William and Eva, I recovered my former artless peasant’s nature. I began to dream of a virtuous, sincere woman; one who was industrious, and would adorn my home by her diligence and solicitude. I saw myself proud of the sweet firmness of her countenance, disclosing the faithful and even austere wife. Certes, these were not my dreams at Paris, at the end of a boisterous evening passed with my comrades. But a terrible misfortune had fallen like a thunderbolt upon Eva Meredith, and this made me slower in understanding the great lessons each day unfolded to me. Eva always sat near the window with her eyes sadly fixed on the heavens. This position, which is peculiar to those who indulge in reveries, attracted my attention but little at first, but before long it created a deep impression. Whilst my book lay open on my knees, I watched Madame Meredith, and being sure that her eyes would not detect me, I observed her closely. Eva gazed up to heaven, and my eyes followed the same direction as hers. “Ah!” I said, with a half smile, “she thinks that she will rejoin him above!” and I would turn to my book, thinking how happy it was for the weakness of woman, that such fancies came to the aid of her grief. As I told you, my sojourn in the midst of students had filled my head with notions of an evil tendency. But each day I saw Eva in the same attitude, and each day my reflections were recalled to the same subject. By degrees I began to think that hers was a pleasant dream; and I even regretted that I could not believe it a true one. The soul, heaven, an eternity, all that my curate had formerly impressed on me, passed through my mind, as I sat at eve before the open window, and I said, “What the old curate taught me is more consoling than the cold realities which science discloses;” and then I would look on Eva, who still gazed on the heavens, whilst the bell of the village church sounded in the distance, and the rays of the setting sun shone brightly upon the cross of the steeple. And often did I return and sit near that poor widow, firm in her grief as in her holy hopes. What! thought I, is so much love no longer attached but to a little dust already mingled with the earth; do these sighs all tend to no good? William is gone, in the flower of his youth, and with him his strong affections, and his heart where all was still in bloom; she loved him but a year, one little year, and all is told. There is naught above us but the air—love, that feeling so deep within us, is but a flame placed in the dark prison of our body, where it shines and burns, but dies away when the frail wall around it crumbles! A little dust is all that remains of our loves, our hopes and thoughts and passions, of all that breathes and moves and elevates within us! And there was a long silence in my breast. In truth, I had ceased to think. I was as one stupefied, between that which I no longer denied nor yet believed. At last, on a beautiful starlight evening, when Eva clasped her hands in prayer, I could not account for it, but my hands too closed, and my lips opened to breathe a prayer. Then, through a happy chance, for the first time, did Eva Meredith see what was passing around her, as if a secret instinct had warned her that my soul was united in harmony with her own. “Thanks,” said she, extending her hand to me, “remember him, and pray for him sometimes.” “Oh! madame,” I cried, “may we all find a better world, whether our lives be long or short, happy, or sorely tried.” “The immortal soul of William is on high,” she said, in a grave tone; and her gaze, at once sad and bright, was again fixed on heaven. Since that day, in accomplishing the duties of my profession, I have often seen men die, but to them who survived, I have ever spoken consoling words of a better life—and those words I truly felt. A month after these silent events, Eva gave birth to a son. When, for the first time, they brought the child to her, the widowed mother pronounced the name “William,” and tears, ready tears, too long refused to her grief, gushed in torrents from her eyes. The infant bore the beloved name of William, and its little cradle was placed close by the bed of its mother. Then Eva’s gaze, which had been directed to heaven, returned once more to earth. She now looked on her son as she had on heaven. She would bend over him to trace the likeness to his father, for God had permitted a perfect resemblance between William and the son he was never destined to see. A great change took place. Eva, who had consented to live till her babe was born, I could see wished still to live, since she felt how much it needed the protection of her love. She passed whole days and nights by its cradle, and when I came to see her, O! then she spoke to me, questioned me as to the duties requisite for her son; when he suffered told me of it, and asked me what ought to be done to spare him the smallest pain. She feared for the babe the heat of a ray of the sun or the cold of the least breeze. She would hug him to her bosom and warm him with her caresses; once I even thought I perceived a smile on her lips, but she never would sing to him while rocking the cradle—she called the nurse and told her to sing his lullaby, during which time her tears would flow over her darling William. Poor babe! he was beautiful, mild, tractable, but, as though his mother’s grief had even before his birth had an effect on him, he rarely cried and never smiled. He was calm, and calmness at that age makes us think of suffering. It seemed to me that the tears shed over his cradle had chilled his little soul. I wished that his caressing arms should already be thrown round his mother’s neck; I could have wished him to return the kisses lavished on him. But what am I dreaming? thought I, can one expect that this little creature, scarcely a year old, should have an idea that it was born to love and console this woman? It was, I assure you, ladies, a touching sight to look upon, this young mother, pale, exhausted, having renounced all the future for herself, returning as it were to life for a little infant which could not even say “thanks, mother.” What a mystery is the human heart! that of so little it can make so much! Give it but a grain of sand, it will raise a mountain; or in its last throb show it an atom to love, and it again commences to beat; it does not cease its pulsations forever till nothing is left around it but space, and even the shadow of what was dear to it has fled from earth! Eva placed her child on a rug at her feet, then looking at it, she would say to me—“Doctor, when my son is grown up I wish him to become distinguished, and when once taught I will choose for him a noble career. I will follow him everywhere—on the sea if he is in the navy, in India if in the army: he must win glory and honors; and I will lean on his arm and proudly say—I am his mother! Will he not let me follow him, doctor? a poor woman who needs but silence and solitude that she may weep, can incommode no one, is it not so?” And then we would discuss the different pursuits to be chosen; we placed twenty years on that infant’s head, both of us forgetting that those twenty years would make us old. But, alas! we rarely dwell on ourselves, and never think of being otherwise than young and happy, when youth and happiness abide within us. In listening to those bright anticipations, I could not help regarding with fear the child on whom another’s existence so materially depended. An indefinable dread crept over me in spite of myself; but, thought I, she has shed tears enough, and God, whom she implores, owes her some happiness. Things were in this situation when I received a letter from my uncle, (the only surviving relation I had.) My uncle, a member of the faculty at Montpellier, sent for me that I might in that learned city perfect myself in the secrets of my profession. This letter, worded like a request, was in fact a command, and I was forced to go. The next morning, with a heart swelling at the thought of the isolation in which I should leave the widow and orphan, I repaired to the white house, to bid adieu to Eva Meredith. When I told her that I was about to quit her for a long time, I scarcely know if a shade of sadness passed over her features, her beautiful face since William’s death had worn a look of such deep melancholy, that it was impossible ever to trace on it more than the faintest smile; as for sadness, it was always there. “Are you going to leave us,” she said, “your services were so beneficial to my child!” The poor woman had no word of regret for her only friend who was leaving her, the mother alone grieved for the doctor so useful to her son; I did not complain. To be of use is the sweetest recompense for our devotion to others. “Farewell,” she said, giving me her hand. “Wherever you may be, may God bless you; and if at any time it is his will that you should be unhappy, may He provide you a heart as compassionate as your own.” I bent my forehead to her hand and retired deeply affected. The child lay sleeping on the lawn before the steps, I took him in my arms and embraced him over and over again; I gazed on him for a long time attentively, and sadly, and a tear dimmed my eye. “Oh! no, it cannot be, I am deceived,” I murmured, and hurried from the house. “Heavens! doctor,” simultaneously exclaimed all the listeners of the village doctor, “what then did you fear for this child?” “Allow me, ladies,” replied the doctor, “to finish this narrative in my own manner—every thing shall be told in its place; I am relating the events in the order in which they happened.” [Conclusion in our next. |