"When you receive these lines," wrote Giulia, "I shall have left Kulmitten with Beate, and all traces of me, it is to be hoped, will be lost to you and to the world. I take nothing with me, save the remembrance of your goodness and love, and they shall support me in my forsakenness, and render it possible for me to endure life.

"What else can it be to me, but an atonement of the past, but a prayer, a prayer for forgiveness? I shall never learn if it be fulfilled, but in my best hours I shall comfort myself with it, I shall hope and believe in it, as we believe in one only happiness!

"And I dare believe and hope, because the crime that I committed was committed only through boundless love for you, through passion that gives up and sacrifices everything for the possession of the beloved one, even its duty, its honour--at least that which before law and the world passes for such. I had hoped to be able to preserve my secret, and at the same time untroubled happiness for you, even although mine was ever disturbed by pangs of conscience; it has been ordained differently, the veil has suddenly fallen. I stand as a criminal before your eyes. If you, too, measure me with the measure of others, then there is no absolution for me, but you, whom I loved most deeply, will also be more capable than all others of forgiveness.

"The whole history of my sorrow is connected with a man who has now met with so terrible an end, he was fatal to my life. I may regret that a low mind made him an unsettled, unhappy wanderer upon earth, but I cannot weep for him, because tears are too precious to be wasted upon what is ignoble. Others may, perhaps, think the same of me, but every great passion has an atoning power. The story of my life is short, but eventful.

"My parents possessed a small estate near Bergamo; they exchanged it for another in the Italian Tyrol, but they were unfortunate, their affairs went wrong. Young as I was, I had to think of earning something for myself, and as I was esteemed tolerably good looking, and my voice melodious and strong, it was determined that I should devote myself to the stage. Influential friends provided for my education, so that I might enter the chorus at the Pergola, in Florence.

"I was eighteen years old, I did not know life. In my dreams I might sketch a brilliant future for myself: the present was poor enough, it did not satisfy the ambition of artistic struggles, it barely yielded daily bread. Gradually, however, I began to receive subordinate parts, in which, if not by my singing, yet by my voice, my whole manner, I could rouse people's attention.

"At that time I became acquainted with Baluzzi; he was twenty years older than I, and also a chorus singer, but for him the chorus was only a place of refuge, as it seemed, the sad close to a mysterious life. He was considered to be a handsome man, all my friends were proud when he paid them any little attention. Soon he began to distinguish me especially, which roused my companions' jealousy, made me, however, the more susceptible of the tokens of his favour. He understood how to win a young heart; he surrounded himself with the charm of recklessness; here and there he allowed a reminiscence of his past, a picture to gleam shedding around him the halo of a bold, daring man. Being a member of the chorus appeared to us as a disguise which he had assumed in his momentary need.

"Unacquainted with life, captivated by Baluzzi's fiery glances, and the power of his language, I was soon beneath his spell. I loved him with inexperienced, ardent love. An event also occurred that showed me his uncontrolled feelings, it is true, but also the strength of his passion. I had inspired a Florentine noble with one of those transient affections which the stage so easily ignited. I had treated him politely, and he looked upon me as an easy prey. Late one evening he came to me. I bade him leave, he became more importunate. Baluzzi had watched for him, came to me, drew out his dagger, and wounded the nobleman. The wound was not dangerous and my well-born friend deemed it best to observe silence. I, however, could gauge Baluzzi's love for me by the measure of his savage jealousy.

"Nor did he only crave for fleeting love, he strove to possess me from the first. He told the wounded intruder that I was his betrothed, and asserted his right of active defence. I had not given him the right until now, but I did not show over-much resistance when he claimed it. Once when I refused to listen to him, we were standing upon the platform of the companile, he threatened to throw himself down, and I appeased him with hasty consent, because I believed that he would fulfil his threat.

"One thing I must say for him--and that was my misfortune--he believed in my talent, my future. While others thought my performances pretty and taking, he was convinced that, with my voice, my appearance, after a little progress in singing, I should become great on the Italian stage. In imagination he foresaw my pecuniary, my brilliant successes, therefore he strove to possess me. I was an object of his calculations, and they had not deceived him. That he also found me personally desirable I will readily believe, for the world, the public, the newspapers, and above all, my mirror told me that I was beautiful.

"Baluzzi's passionate courtship, which inspired me with fear and dread--as he intimidated me with menaces if I should not do his will--I could no longer resist. I had sung my first more important part at the Pergola and been very successful; his calculations now gained a firmer basis, more resolutely he went at his object. At that time, it is true, I only perceived the expression of unlimited passion in all that he said or did, which at last intoxicated me, for nothing is more infectious than the soul's warmth. I gave my consent to the marriage; that it should be a secret one at first, we both agreed. Nothing is more fatal to young actresses than the title of Signora, it sets a barrier to those undecided wishes which spontaneously, like a superfluous element of nature, mingle with the admiration of beauty and artistic revelations; in such unexpressed emotions often lies the secret of success. A grand career lay before me, it must remain free and open to me. Baluzzi also desired this. We were married in the remote little church in the middle of the Orta lake. For the stage I continued to be Signora Bollini; but the heavy, fatal error of my life had been committed, it was no youthful folly whose consequences could be brushed away with a light hand. Marriage is indissoluble according to the laws of the Church, indissoluble according to those of the country. The priest's words had converted me into a slave for evermore. I did not feel it then, I was happy. This confession does not disgrace me, because felicity lies in our feelings, and delusion can call it forth as well as truth. Youth has its own rapture, its own bliss, and love is not so powerless as not to procure full enjoyment for all who are filled with it. Those were glorious days which I spent by the banks of the Orta lake. Baluzzi then seemed like a demi-god to me, but that bliss was of short duration.

"Returned to Florence, I soon remarked that he displayed several rougher sides of his nature, at first surprising, then alarming me. I perceived that he gave himself up to a wild life, which, merely to win and deceive me, he had interrupted for some time. He laid an embargo upon my cash-box, I was almost reduced to poverty; he was a gambler, a drunkard, and spent his nights with wild companions.

"The rapture of love, however, had given unthought-of wings to my talent; from part to part I attained greater success, and after the lapse of a year was engaged at the Pergola with a considerable salary, but, with the salary, increased Baluzzi's claims; often he demanded money for his journeys to Monaco, where he indulged his mania for play, whence he always returned a bankrupt. All my expostulations were vain, he met them with bitter scorn and the defiant manner of a lord and master.

"He gambled at Monaco, he engaged in equivocal business, and did I not send him sufficient money at any time, he pursued me like a spy, like a shadow. He read of my successes in the papers, he kept a book of them, he calculated my receipts. In Milan, not long after, began the era of my triumphs, the most distinguished circles were opened to me. I became intimate with Princess Dolgia, and she invited we to her villa at Stresa.

"It was then that I saw you for the first time, when my heart burned for you with glowing passion, when I experienced all the charms of love and life, and felt the shame of my chains doubly heavy; then, too, he spied upon me by the lake shore, he had been dissatisfied with the last remittance; he demanded more. At the same time his heart was inflamed with savage jealousy, or was it rather an emotion of hatred--he saw that we loved one another. I feared for your life, only a great price could assuage his wrath. But, carried away with delight that knew no bounds, as if to raise me in blissful dreams above the unworthiness with which my life was filled, I would not curb my glowing love, and greater than the sin of loving was the wicked doubt, whether the welfare of my soul was more imperilled by your love than by the mad passion of a brutal criminal.

"Since then my only thought has been for you and your love; he followed me upon my career of triumph which I commenced through Europe. I would fly from you, only entwine your love like a transient dream in my life--and ever again it urged me to seek you; therefore I came here and stayed so long on the shores of the northern lakes. It drew me to your native land, to your own home. I visited your Castle while you were absent; then I tore myself away from the glowing dreams of my longing--for almost two years I lingered in Russia. Owing to no fault of mine, Baluzzi had lost all traces of me for a considerable time; he had been guilty of some breach of the laws in Russia, and was, I know not why, banished to Siberia, but he discovered me again, and, like a leech, he clung to my heels.

"My increasing fame gave me the entrÉe to good society, I gained the friendship of princes and princesses. Intercourse with Baluzzi could only injure my name. Little as he fulfilled his duties as a chorus singer in Florence, he was known as one of those musical assistants who stood upon a subordinate step of the ladder of art, in those circles I had risen far above his horizon. I often let him feel it, and he rebelled with double defiance against my 'impudent overbearing.' Yet he saw that, for his own sake, he must not disturb my career; he agreed only to see and speak to me secretly, and before the world to assume the semblance of friendship; he often came after dissipated entertainments and asserted his rights, rousing my anger.

"Another fearful surprise awaited me. A falling scene had struck his shoulder; he persistently rejected all assistance from the surgeon, and from me. I went to see him, he lay in feverish sleep. I wanted to see the wound, that appeared to me as serious as his resistance was suspicious. I drew back the bandage and saw--even now the recollection fills me with horror--upon his shoulder the branded mark of a galley-slave! It was to a desperate criminal that I had given hand and heart!

"There are countries in which the law would grant the right of divorce in cases where such discoveries were made after marriage, because they assume that only by mistake could such an union have been formed. But in Italy there is no such law, and had there been I had neglected the time which is allowed for such an appeal. I knew nothing about it.

"Nevertheless, my resolution, to set myself free from the horrible control of this man, so far as lay in my power, remained immovable. When Baluzzi had recovered, I imparted my discovery to him with great composure; he started. I told him that I knew now that I had married a heavily punished criminal.

"'Quarrels at the gaming table,' said he shortly, 'a hasty dagger that caught its victim.'

"'Perhaps combined with cheating and robbery,' added I.

"'What does it matter to you? Who dares to reproach me with a punishment that I have undergone?' I explained succinctly to him that I could have nothing in common with a dismissed galley-slave, and forbade him to visit me any more. Naturally this prohibition angered him, but I declared that I should betray his secret to the world, publish the brand which justice had imprinted upon him, and thus had cast him out for ever from association with his fellow-men.

"'Then I shall proclaim our marriage,' cried he triumphantly, 'and upon you will rest the same curse.'

"'And our fame, my talent, our gains?'

"He became thoughtful, and entered into negociations; he should not disturb my path any more, but he claimed the greater portion of my receipts for himself; under these conditions, so long as I remained on the stage, where he prophesied me a brilliant career, he should not assert his rights over me, but so soon as from any cause I left the theatre, I should again fall into his power, not only my possessions, but also my life and person; thus should he be indemnified for the long privation. I might then proclaim that he had been in the bagno, it was immaterial to him. The wife of a galley-slave shared his disgrace; yes, then he should be my master again and possess the right to the whims of a sultan.

"He parted from me; I bound myself always to give him my address, as I was about to set out on a starring tour in Italy and abroad. I felt like a serf who is granted liberty which is liable to be recalled at any moment, but my earnings were paralysed, and my heart could not beat freely without committing sin. That was control worse than the galley!

"I saw you again. From that time my life has been no secret to you. I would belong to you for ever, it was the one object of my life, and yet unattainable if I did not possess the audacity to defy the constraint of a law binding me for life to the galley. Is there no higher decree than the mutable chequered one of these countries in our hemisphere? Is there not a holier love which may scorn an unholy bond? I hoped to annihilate the proofs of my slavery: I hoped to keep the spectre of my life far aloof from myself, and still farther from you; to enjoy a happiness over which, indeed, hung a sword on a silver thread, yet invisible to you and your repose, not hostile to your peace--in vain! He came because I had resigned the stage; he came not to demand my money, but myself, and in wild desperation I bought a new reprieve with the gift of your love, the diamond diadem, the family jewels of the Blandens. But dying, the wretched man fulfilled his oaths of revenge, and, as bleeding, he descends amongst the shadows, he leaves me behind amidst the falling ruins of my bliss.

"Well;--I am a guilty woman! Now condemn me! I have deceived you, I bring disgrace upon your house--and yet, so long as my heart beats, it will beat for you; I go forth into misery, behind me the myrmidons of the law, nothing is left for me save the last greeting, the last word of blessing! God protect the most noble man whom the earth contains, and if he cannot forgive me then may his pity follow me--the outcast, the scorned--into the wide world!"

Again, and again, Blanden read the letter with throbbing heart and a tear in his eyes, he ordered his horses to be harnessed and drove furiously to Kulmitten. The Castle was desolate and empty. Giulia and Beate had left it in a peasant's cart which chanced to be passing through, both in the plainest garments, none could tell whither.

He was alone. He waited for the officers of justice who would soon knock at those doors and attach the seal of nameless shame to the sacred heritage of his family. He sat there a silent, moody man, and buried all his hopes.