(Continued) | LEO, the Lion, indicating the state of mind with which in July he agrees with them.
VIRGO, the Virgin, indicating that in August he usually hears of his daughter's engagement.
LIBRA, the scales, indicating that in September various interested persons weight his family's summer enjoyments and send him the bills.
SCORPIO, the scorpion, indicating the state of mind with which he pays them in October.
SAGITTARIUS, the archer, indicating some fine shooting on the part of his conscience toward the end of November.
CAPRICORNUS, the goat, indicating what he feels like as he decides that next year shall be different. | A Milk Pointer:
Milkmen, too, have their troubles. If they do not water their cows, or if they do water their milk, somebody has the law on them. milk |
banner stars | SUNDAY | | | MONDAY | (1852) Crystal palace opened at New York. | | Next week—New York people discover they cannot live in glass houses. | | TUESDAY | | | WEDNESDAY | (1841) London Punch first issued. | | Same week—Great Gloom settles over London. | | THURSDAY | | | FRIDAY | (1906) Secretary Taft visits Greenville, S.C., and opens campaign. | | Same date—Democrats of "Solid South" gaze at Taft in dismay and exclaim, "We are lost, we had no idea the Republican party was so large!" | | SATURDAY | | |
| | JULY | |
| | Matches are made in heaven—they don't need 'em in the other place. |
Report to the Secretary of War on the Russo-Japanese War by Gen. Buzfuz, U.S.A. | The war was contrary to all rules of warfare adopted by civilized nations because: - It was not started by a newspaper.
- The scene of operations was not laid near a fashionable resort.
- Photographers and correspondents were not allowed to inspect the officers' wardrobes.
- There was no San Juan Hill.
- The officers gave no afternoon teas, dinners, or balls.
- The officers looked after their commands instead of writing magazine articles.
- The soldiers were fed real food.
- Thousands upon thousands of soldiers were killed.
- The ships sunk in the naval battle were sunk in deep water.
- No great scandal arose from the purchase of food, clothing, or ammunition.
- No newspaper or magazine controversy has been started over who won the battles.
| Political Note:
Politicians are bought, not made. Health Hint:
Persons too serious to take a joke should take a vacation. |
banner freckles | SUNDAY | | | MONDAY | (1886) Dumb piano invented by Virgil. Rejoicing in Harlem. | | TUESDAY | | | WEDNESDAY | | | THURSDAY | (1547) Silk stockings first worn by Henry II of France. Rainy days become popular. | | FRIDAY | The woman who wears a short bathing skirt is not necessarily immodest. She may be the wife of a popular magazine editor and cultivate exposure because she has caught the habit. | | —Supton Eclair. | | SATURDAY | | |
| | AUGUST | |
| | No successful business man ever spends his own money. |
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