“Dat is de subjec’ ub my discose dis mawnin’ and I is preachen mo’ ’specially to de chillun in de meetin’ house. Uncle Reubin Viney an’ I was a huskin’ cawn lars’ week an’ he tol’ me boutin dis tex’, and arsked me to preach fum it; an’ you will find de ’zact words in de 7th chapta ub Acts, 8th vus: ‘Ab’ham fogot Isaac, Isaac fogot Jacob and Jacob fogot de twelve Petracks.’ Dem ole Petracks was a pow’ful fogitful race ub people! Now, ten ub dem Petracks, Simeon, Levi an’ Zebulon, dey wuz Miss Leah’s chillun (I fogit de names ub de res’ ub her chillun, but dey wuz all Jews). An’ Joseph an’ Benjamin, dey wuz Miss Rachel’s chillun, an’ de Bible say dey wuz saints. One ub ’em er his uncle, I fogit which, foun’ some mules in de wilderness ez he wuz watchin’ his father’s sheep, but he wuz so fogitful dat he didn’t gib de names ub de mules or how many dey wuz—some people say da wan’ no mules at all, dey wuz all Jackasses. Well, lemmy see—da wuz two mo’ ub Jacob’s sons (I dun mention five), an’ I fogit deah Ma’s name, but deah names wuz Dan an’ Naptha, or sompin’ like dat (I lef’ my specks hom’). I don’ think dey wuz Jews, er Dukes like Esau’s sons, an’ I don’ ’zactly no deah ’ligion, but I specks dem two wuz Babtis’s. ’Pears to me I hearn Uncle Reubin say so! How-some-eber, all ub dem chillun ub Jacob’s wuz born in Panorama [Padanaram] an’ dey’s all uh pow’ful fogitful race ub people.

“Brudderin, da is nothin’ ez bad ez fogitfulness. Ef’n my memory wuz not good (kase I lef’ my specks at hom’) I could not gib you any ub dese beautiful names. Now, den, dese ten brudders wuz sent by deah Pa way down in Egyp’ lan’ futto buy cawn fum deah eleventh brudder. An’ bless yo’ soul, when dey got down da, dey didn’t eben no deah brudder—but he no’d dem. Mebby de color ub his coat ’fused ’em. I tell you dem old Petracks is a pow’ful fogitful race ub people. So wuz deah Ma’s an’ Pa’s. Laban, de Granpa ub de Petracks, and prob’ly de bigist farmer in dem days, wuz uh fogitful man. We is told dat Jacob (wonder why dey jes’ call ’em Jacob), an’ Noahy, an’ Moses, an’ Peter, an’ Rasmus dey’s mos’ ub ’em kings an’ dukes an’ sich like. I mus’ ask Uncle Reubin boutin dat. Well, Jacob merried Miss Rachel, so he did, but I specks Jacob got a little het up at de weddin’. An’ Laban, he mus’ hab had some ros’ apples wid apple-jack. Brudderin, apples is bin makin’ trubble eber since Adam totch ’em—kase Laban he fogot which daughter Jacob wuz gwine ter marry. ’Pears like Jacob fogot, too, kase he didn’t scover de mustak’ till de nex’ mawnin’. An’ ’pears like Miss Leah an’ Miss Rachel fogot. Now, wan’ dey uh fogitful lot ub people? De nex’ mawnin’ arfter de weddin’—or as de Bible say, de feas’—when Jacob got up to milk de cows an’ yoke de oxin, da was Miss Leah up, an’ shakin’ down de stove an’ grindin’ de coffee. An’ Jacob say, ‘Wha Rachel?’ an’ Miss Leah say, ‘I dunno nuffin boutin Rachel.’ Da wuz uh mustak’ some wha, sho. So Jacob merried ’em bof to be sartin an’ pleas’ Laban. No wonder dat de Petracks wuz uh fogitful race wid four Ma’s an’ uh Pa all fogitful; an’, mine you, Miss Rachel she wuz so fogitful seems to me her mine mus’ hab been ’stressed, kase you recommember when her boys Jacob an’ Esau went out an’ kilt uh deer, she fogot which kilt it—leas’wise it ’pears so. Well, as fo’ dat, I specks de fus’ man, Adam, hissef was absen’-minded. He sut’ny lubbed fruit. We all knows dat. An’ I specks he wuz hongry, an’ mebby po’ Adam when he clum up de apple tree in de dark tho’t it wuz uh peach tree—kase when a man is hongry he ain’ ’stressin’ hissef boutin de fruit, so it’s good. An’ I specks he got ’fused ’bout de trees, kase dat gyarden wuz full ub fruit trees, from apple trees clean down to cucumbers and watermillions.

“King Dabid come outin uh fogitful fam’ly. De Bible tell us dat in dem days Pharez fogot Hezron, an’ Hezron fogot Ram——”

Sister Becky (interrupting): “Pawson Demby, you mus’ mean Ham or Sham?”

“Chile, I kin read; I means Ram! Dat’s what I mean! Ram wuz uh white pusson; Ham wuz uh cullud pusson. Well, dey kep’ on fogittin’ till Jesse fogot Dabid. But blessid to say, de lars’ one wuz not uh fogitter; he recommembered mos’ too well—leas’wise fuh dese days. He had Uriahy kilt kase he wuz rite smart tuck on Uriahy’s wife. In dese days it’s mo’ dan de chuch ’low; how-some-eber, in dem days it didn’t stress uh pusson ef’n uh man’s wife fogot him, kase dey had so many dey wouldn’t miss ’em, ’cep’in five er six lef’ ’em. Now, chillun, boys wuz bad in dem days same as now. Po’ King Dabid’s son ’stressed him pow’ful, but he neber fogot him, an’ he mus’ uh favo’d he Pa and bin uh monstus fine-lookin’ chile, kase de Bible say—lemmy read it to you: ‘Ab-so-lum wuz prais’ fuh he beauty fum de sole ub he foot ebin to de crown ub he haid.’ An’ de king wuz gwine to meck a Babtis’ preacher outin him, but he fogot his po’ father an’ run uh way; and what wuz de consequasion ub dat boy’s badness? Sistus an’ chillun, it’s wussa dan stealin’ watermillions er chickens; it’s mos’ ez bad ez dancin’ an’ playin’ de fiddle on de Sabbuth. Well, de Bible tell us dat Ab-so-lum^[4] rid ’pon uh mule, an’ de mule went under de thick bows ub uh jack oak, an’ his haid kotch hold ub de oak (I mean de haid ub little Ab-so-lum) an’ he wuz’ tuck up ’tween de heaben an’ de uth; an’ de mule dat wuz under him went ’way, an’ dat wuz de las’ ub po’ Ab-so-lum. Ez many hosses ez dat ventersum chil’ mus’ uh had, an’ ez many ez his brudder Solomon had, it’s quare to me why he rid uh ornry mule. Dey mus’ uh bin uh breed ub mules an’ jackasses dat’s died out—kase mules an’ jackasses wuz de favorite beases in dem days.

“De chillun ub Ephram fogot de works ub de Lawd, an’ his wonders, arfter he had rain down manner ’pon ’em to eat. Uncle Reubin say de manner wuz mushrooms. De reason ub de flood, is kase de chillun ub man fogot deah benefits. Dey wan’t satisfied wid creeks an’ ribbers, but dey mus’ provok’ uh flood. Is dar any pusson in dis chuch dat would fogit Miles Ribber? De Petracks would. Dunno though! Kase I reckin da wan’t no ribbers in dem days lubly as Miles Ribber. Kin I eber fogit her wha’ I wuz born? How it charm an’ conjur me when I goes fishin’, oysterin’ er crabbin’ in de mawnin’s, when de ribber is cam. Den de trees is ’flected in de watah an’ de heb’nly clouds meck rainbows in de watah. An’ dat Miles Ribber is so clare when de trees is ’flected in de mawnin’ befo’ de sun-up, you kin see de jewdraps on de leabes. An’ sometimes all day long when de breeze is sorf de sun plays on de ripples, an’ when de sun git tired an’ sink in de wes’ de moon plays on de watah sorter ridin’ de canterin’ wabes. An’ de hooppo-wills sing, an’ de mockin’ birds chant, an’ de wabes chases de moonlight, an’ de moonlight chases de wabes; an’ de stars way down deep in de watah winks an’ twinks at yer, an’ dey looks ez bright ez de eyes ub Phareoh’s daughter an’ almos’ ez sorf’ ez uh possum’s. It’s uh sin to play on de fiddle, flute an’ fife, an’ to dance, but, brudderin, it’s ’spirin’ an’ heb’nly to see de moon dance on Miles Ribber, spreadin’ hissef on de top ub de wabes, makin’ dem de color ub silver, jes’ like dear ole Missis hyah.

“Yes! Pawson Demby born close to Miles Ribber, an’ he lubs de watah nex’ to music. I’d lub to hab bin on de ark; dey tells me mos’ everything wuz on it, so ’cose music wuz. An’ I wouldn’t be s’prised ef dat sweet little cullud boy, Ham, didn’t play de banjo, an’ Sham de bones, an’ ’cose de udder brudder (I fogit his name) played! I reckin de hyarp. Kase hyarps wuz in de fashin in dem days. Dear little Dabid used to play de hyarp at night when he watched his Pa’s flocks, to make hissef feel happy, an’ to skere de wolves an’ bars ’way. An’ he played fuh Saul er his daughter, I fogit which. Wonder how dey got deah hyarp an’ banjo strings dem days. Well, I kin almos’ see dat jus’ man, de captin ub de boat, arfter all de beases bin fed an’ bedded, set down in de stern ub de ship, take de rudder, lite his pipe, sigh fuh de watahs to cease an’ long fuh his dove to come back. An’ when de moon ris I specks Ham chune his banjo, Sham his bones, an’ de udder brudder wid a quare name, twank de hyarp. An’ den dey mus’ hab played, ‘Roll, Jordan, Roll,’ ‘One Bright Ribber to Cross,’ ‘Swing Lo’, Sweet Chariot,’ ‘Go Down Moses,’ till de stars sunk in de skies, and de beases got relarmed.

“Brudderin, we ain’t sung dat lars him fuh uh long time. Uncle Eph, you rase it an’ we will sing some ub de vuses, so I kin res’ mehsef uh little.”

“Brudderin, da wuz one man dat wuz not fogitful, an’ a man we all should intimate. I hab befo’ briefly ’luded to him. I say briefly, kase a pawson mite talk boutin him fum de commencement to de closin’ ub a big camp meetin’ an’ not git fur on de subjec’. He nebber fogot. T’ink ub de animals he had to recommember, fum elephants clean down to coons an’ ’possums. Dey tells me he eben kep’ de chickens fum eatin’ up de watermillion seeds. He wuz uh sailor, gyardner, farmer, blacksmith, carpenter—King Dabid wuz no wha when he wuz ’bout. His name wuz Noahy. Uncle Reubin say de elephants, whales and hippopotamusses wuz so big an’ bad dat he chained dem outside de boat an’ let ’em float to make room. An’ de shirks an’ crocodiles had et up all de dogs, sepin fo’ coon dogs. So Noahy chained dem outside, too. ’Cose Noahy wuz uh gre’t animal tamer, an’ I kin ondastan’ how he like so many animals, but I kyant ondastan’ why he didn’t pisen dem shirks. De Bible tells ’bout fishhooks, fishpools, fish spears an’ fishermen, an’ all ’bout Peter’s gwine uh fishin’, an’ de five loaves an’ two fishes (dey mus’ uh bin whales, kase dey fed so many)—but it don’t say nuffin boutin shirks. How-some-eber, I specks when Peter’s net broke da wuz uh shirk in it, kase when dey cum ’long da ain’ no use you takin’ up yo’ net, kase it’s clean gone. Uncle Reubin say ef’n it wan’ fuh de pitch on de wood ub de ark dey would hab chawed uh hole thoo huh. Dey’s kep’ many a sister fum comin’ in de Babtis’ chuch, when dar’s only salt watah to dip in, like it is down heah on de Easton Sho’.”

Aunt Phillis Viney (interrupting): “Pawson Demby, ef’n dem sistus had salbation in deah hearts dey wouldn’t keer fuh dem shirks any mo’ dan little Moses keered fuh de Bull-rushes.”

Voices: “Dat’s what I say, too!” “Yas, dat’s it!” “You done sed it.” “Dat’s de law, Sistah Viney.”

Tilly Mink: “I’s got salbation mehsef.”

“Uncle Eph, will you pleas’ pars de barsket ’roun’? An’ I hope dis congation will stop dis shirk ’citement an’ not be fogitful boutin de collection. I exhort sistus an’ all heah present to gib lib’ly, an’ not be like dem fogitful ole Petracks.

“We will include by singin’ de three fus’ vusses ub him seventy-fo’.”

Pawson Demby requested Uncle Stephen to “Please led us in prayer,” whereupon Uncle Stephen prayed as follows:

“Sistus, brers an’ little chillun, recommember! Dat’s de qualificashun, an’ don’ fogit it. Po’ Lot’s wife, she fogot, looked back, an wuz turnt inter uh pillow ub salt.

“Fogitfulness is wuss’n playin’ de fiddle, dancin’, an’ uh cuss’n one nerr. Hits almos’ ez bad ez fishin’ on de Sabbuth day. Y-a-s, Lawd, fogitfulness is bin uh ’stressin’ people ev’y sense Adam clum de apple tree an’ eat dem apples. Ab-so-lum fogot his Pa’s ’structions, er he wudn’ er rid un’er dat oak tree an’ let dat lim’ twiss his neck ef’n he hadn’ bin frolikin’, I specks, wid dat ornry King Fario. Y-a-s, Lawd, tech us ter recommember. De prodigal son fogot he Pa’s ways, an’ you know de consequation. Sted ub fogittin’, meck us ter recommember; y-a-s, Lawd, meck us ter recommember dat de debbil is uh rovin’ lion, seekin’ who he may eat up.^[5] Don’ let us be like Jacob, de Petrack, who fogot hissef an’ tried ter rassel wid uh angel, an’ de fus’ fall he got his leg wuz flung outin jint.

“But da is one thing dat you kin fogit; hits dem shirks [sharks] in Miles Ribber. Some ub our sistus is got de shirk fright so bad dey is persidderin jinin’ de Presbyters. Sweet sistus, don’ yer do hit. Ev’y man’s mouf ain’ uh prayerbook, an’ uh case orntried is hyard ter justify. Persidder us, deah Lawd, burhol us, be wid us, cum down right now in de spirit ub de lam’; cum right th’oo de roof, Ole Mars will pay fuh de shingles. Dese moners is uh waitin’ fuh you. Y-a-s, indeed, cum down dis minit an’ cur-tail de work ub de debbil.”

By this time old Harrison, Colonel Lloyd’s faithful and credulous servant from “Wye,” became so much excited that he jumped up and shouted, “Yas, Lawd, cum down an cut he tail clean orf,” whereupon Uncle Stephen arose, patting his hands, and singing:

The singing over, Parson Demby announced—“Befo’ goin’ I wan’ ter say dat de deacons is so ’stressed ober ’mersion dey has ’cided ter hold uh rebate in de Zion Chuch fo’ weeks fum nex’ Chusday, an’ de subjec’ chusin will be, ‘Ef’n uh man er woman hab salbation in deah hyarts, will dey be feared ter babtiz wha shirks is?’ Ef’n hits ’cided hits dangersome, salbation er no salbation, I hope dis congation will git somebody’s ice pon’, an’ ef’n dey kyant do no better, somebody’s big hoss trough fuh de ’mersions.

“I ’pints rebaters fuh dem dat’s not feared—Frisby Jemes, Hesekiah Sprouts, Damon Mink.

“Fuh dem dat’s feared, Uncle Reubin Viney, Juba Viney, Scipio Jones, Horace Duley. I puts fo’ on de side ub dem dat’s feared, kase it’s de weak side.

“Judges—Pawson Phil Demby, Deacon Rasmus Jasper Jemes.”