(Dedicated without permission to LORD CHARLES BERESFORD.)

O where be all those mariners bold
who used to control the sea,
The Admiral great and the bo'sun's mate
and the skipper who skipped so free?
O what has become of our midshipmites,
the terror of every foe,
And the captain brave who dares the wave
when the stormy winds do blow?

CHORUS

_For the tar may roam, but the tar comes home
to wherever his home may be,
With a Yo, heave ho, and a o e to, [1] and a
Master of Arts Degree_!

They have gone to imbibe the classical lore
of Learning's ancient seat
(They are sadly at sea in the classics as
yet, though classis is Latin for fleet),
It is there you will find those naval men,
by the Isis and eke the Cher.,
For Scholarship is the only ship that is fit
for a bold Jack Tar.

He has bartered his rum for a coach and a
crib, at the First Lord's stern decree,
And he learns the use of the rocket and
squib (which are useful as lights at sea):
And they train him in part of the nautical
art, as much as a landsman can,
For they teach him to paddle the gay canoe,
and to row the rash randan.

Should he e'er be inclined his Tutors and
Deans to look with contempt upon
(Observing the maxims of Raleigh and
Drake, who never thought much of a Don),
Let him think there are things in the nautical
line that even a Don can do,
For only too well are examiners versed in
the way to plough the Blue!

Though a Captain per se is an excellent
thing for repelling his country's foes,
He is better by far, as an engine of war, with
a knowledge of Logic and Prose:
And a bold A.B. is the nation's pride, in
his rude uncultured way,
But prouder still will the nation be when
he's also a bold B.A.!

CHORUS

For the Horse Marine will be Tutor and Dean,
in the glorious days to be,
With his Yo, heave ho, and his o e to, [1] and a
Master of Arts degree!

[1. Transcriber's note: the character group "o e to" was transliterated from the Greek characters omicron (with the rough-breathing diacritical), eta (with the rough-breathing diacritical), tau, and omicron (with the soft-breathing diacritical).]

A DREAM

In sleep the errant phantasy,
No more by sense imprisoned,
Creates what possibly might be
But actually isn't:
And this my tale is past belief,
Of truth and reason emptied,
'Tis fiction manifest—in brief
I was asleep, and dreamt it.

I met a man by Isis' stream,
Whose phrase discreet and prudent,
Whose penchant for a learned theme
Proclaimed the Serious Student:
I never knew a scholar who
Could more at ease converse on
The latest Classical Review
Than that superior person.

He spoke of books—all manly sports
He deemed but meet for scoffing:
He did not know the Racquet Courts—
He'd never heard of golfing—
Professors ne'er were half so wise,
Nor Readers more sedate!
He was—I learnt with some surprise—
An undergraduate.

Another man I met, whose head
Was crammed with pastime's annals,
And who, to judge from what he said,
Must simply live in flannels:
A shallow mind his talk proclaimed,
And showed of culture no trace:
One "book" and one alone he named—
His own—'twas on the Boat-race.

"Of course," you cry, "some brainless lad,
Some scion of ancient Tories,
Bob Acres, sent to Oxford ad
Emolliendos mores,
Meant but to drain the festive glass
And win the athlete's pewter!"
There you are wrong: this person was
That undergraduate's Tutor.

* * * *

Twas but a dream, I said above,
In concrete truth deficient,
Belonging to the region of
The wholly Unconditioned:
Yet, when I see how strange the ways
Of undergrad. and Don are,
Methinks it was, in classic phrase,
Not upar less than onar. [1]

[1. Transcriber's note: the words "upar" and "onar" were transliterated from the Greek as follows: "upar"—upsilon (possibly with the rough-breathing diacritical), pi, alpha, and rho; "onar"—omicron (possibly with the rough-breathing diacritical), nu, alpha, and rho.]