  Tom! Tom! What yer think? I've 'ed the Parson's wife The first time in 'er life, acrost our door! What for? What for? Why Tom, you'd niver niver guess! Not if you lived as old as Grammer Bess What's lately swore She's a hunder an' four— She wants us two, to go off an' git spliced! Oh Christ! What's got 'er now: The cow! You well may swear; Coz 'ow she dare—an' why— Will make you swear agen, or laugh—surelie! Just light yer pipe Now you look comfortable—so You're rough—old Tom—I know— Black as a crow! But I'm fond on yer lad As any fool could see! An' whether we're good or bad You've bin maain good ter me. But—blast 'er silly eyes! What yer say to 'er, then? I telled 'er what! A-comin' ere wi' 'er fancy airs, 'Er what's never known no cares, Lookin' that wise— Just coz she catched a Parson! [An' noa great shaakes ayther— She'd nowt of a feyther While 'er half-brother run away to sea An' took to blue water Wi' their ole cook's daughter] 'You talk of "sin" an' "shame,"' I sez, 'to me? You talks just like a fool Or a silly bairn at school Coz nobody about could doubt, But what we're happy together him an' me; Just look,' I sez, 'at any in this street What couple can you find about to beat My Tom an' me what's bin together years, Happy an' comfortable; Never noa serious trouble— Nuthin' I mean to set us by the ears— Good reason why!' I sez—sez I— 'Coz we're a free an' equal pair; We got to treat each other fair Or else we part.' Well said now Missus! That were smart! 'To part!' sez she, 'lookin' all down her noaz, I sez—sez I—'that dudn't bother me Coz I can earn enough for food an' cloaz. I can maintain 'em by mysen,' sez I, 'An' would at any time o' day. I'm not a slave—an' anyway I'd manage if I 'ed to do, I'm not a slave,' I sez, 'like you!' You didn't—Come!— I did—I did! I meant it too. 'If your man turns up stunt,' sez I, 'You can't goa off, or let him fly; You can't maintain yoursen—not you!— Lettin' aloan the bairns, you 'aint!' (That made her squirm all down her back!) ''Ow could you wok up on a stack? Or yok a hoss or bake or wesh; If your man drinks or starts to thresh You couldn't leave him coz he holds yer: You're tied by laws and friends what scolds yer; Yer ain't like me, as free as air. I'm not afraid whoever stare, Nayther is Tom! We minds oursens An' thinks noa more of foaks than hens, Coz if I doant behave mysen— Or him— We parts!— Why? Becoz we're free an' happy here, Becoz we treats each other fair!' You giv 'er the rough o' yer tongue, old gel, But—what a sell! Comin' 'ere to ride rough shod Coz she's a 'wife.' Why—bless my life She doesn't know she's born; She couldn't find her own corn! I sent 'er off wi' a flea in 'er ear! An' will again if she dost come near! But she weant! The white faced critter— Wi' a noaz like a knife An' a smile that bitter As if she would kill. A wife! What does she know of life?— Nowt! Nor ever will!— But tomorrer's Sunday An' we'll go to Church! What? Yes! Just for once; an' sit together, Like birds of a feather! To them what thinks we be disgraces. We'll goa together Tom—for sure We'll goa this once an' then noa more— If you be willin'? Aye lass—I'm willin'— I'll back you up as I've allers done, Agen Parson's wife or anyone. Aye; agen all the country round, Coz you're as good as could be found— An' now—old gel—it's omost eight, Come on—yer know we moant be late, Off to the Ship for our glass of aale; This yarn of yourn'll make a taale! What's that—yer bunnet? All rate ... be quick— I'll wait for yer agen the gate. |
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