“I have often found this, that some souls experience great trouble when first they make confession on being reconciled to the Church of God. Some persons even fall sick and faint, so as to be forced to cease speaking for a time and sit down, until they have recovered a little and are able to continue; and this has happened even when at their first coming they were in sound health, and ready to confess. And then when they recommenced, they again fell ill, and this happened two or three times in the course of their first confession. But when the confession was finished, they not only felt no sickness, but having received absolution, they went away full of joy and consolation. Some, in fact, have remarked to me, that did men but know what consolation is gained in confession, they would never be deprived of so great a happiness.

“Among these was to be reckoned this lady, who came forth from confession full of consolation, and gave most hearty thanks to her cousin, for that by her means she had been admitted to share in so great a happiness. So great was God's mercy towards her, that thenceforth she gave herself wholly up to devotion. On her return home she devoted herself to making handsome vestments, and, whenever she was able, she procured the company of Priests. And not content with this, she was anxious to return wholly to our house, and to dwell with us, in order to have more frequent access to the Sacraments, and the opportunity of hearing the public and private exhortations that we had every Sunday and Festival-day. She stayed with us about two years, and all that time she gave herself up to devotion and the constant reading of pious books. She was clearly led to this course of life by the special mercy and providence of God; for at the end of the period I have mentioned, although she seemed stout and strong, she was suddenly attacked with disease, by which, within a few days, she was so weakened, that no skill of the physicians could restore her strength. She was warned to prepare for the life to come, and she repeated a good and careful confession of her whole life.

“At length, finding herself in her last agony, she wished to write a letter to her brother, who was a heretic, and almost the greatest enemy the Catholics had in the county in which he [pg clxxii] dwelt. To him, then, she wished to send a letter, written by her daughter's hand, but subscribed with her own, to the following effect: That he knew she had long been a strenuous upholder of this new religion, so that he might be the more convinced that she would not have changed it without good grounds, and that she had certain and unanswerable authorities for the faith which she had adopted; wherefore she protested to him that ever since the time when she embraced the faith she had lived in peace of conscience, and that never before that time had she enjoyed true internal consolation; finally, she begged him to have a care of his soul, and proceeded thus: ‘I, your sister, now at the point of death, by these my last words, beg and beseech you to embrace the Catholic and ancient faith; and I protest that there is no other in which you can be saved.’ These were her sentiments when almost come into her last agony, from which I perceived that she was wholly converted from heresy, and full of charity towards her neighbour; so having asked her a few questions, and found that she was not troubled with any temptations of presumption or of despair, I gave her as much help as I could in forming and uttering acts of the opposite virtues. After which, when she was on the point of death, I offered her a picture of the Passion of Christ, and she embraced and kissed it with the greatest affection. I put also a blessed medal into her hands, and reminded her to invoke the name of Jesus in her heart at least, in order to gain the indulgences, although she could not speak. I then asked her to give some sign to show that she did thus from her heart, whereupon she caught hold of the medal and kissed it, repeating this action several times. Observing she made answer to me by signs, I bade her conceive a great sorrow for ever having offended God, Who was so good in Himself, and had shown so great mercy to her, and to give a sign of it by raising her hand: she did so with great earnestness; then to conceive sorrow that she had ever been in heresy, and had resisted God and the Church, of which also she gave a sign; then to conceive the wish that all heretics might be converted, and that she willingly offered her life for their conversion, and she again made the signal with great earnestness, and also took my hand within her own, which were already chill, and held it firmly, repeating [pg clxxiii] the signs that she was pleased with the suggestions I made to her. And I continued up to her last gasp, encouraging her, and exhorting her to praise God in her heart, to desire that all creatures should praise and serve Him, and to offer her life for this end. And she gave me answer to everything, now raising, now lowering her hand; just as I asked her to do in assent to what I suggested. All the by-standers, who were numerous, and a Priest also who was among them, were in great admiration, and declared that they never witnessed such a death as this. For she continued, as I have said, responding to my suggestions up to the very last breath, raising her hand slightly when she could no longer raise it much. In these interior acts she gave up her soul, without any trouble of mind or convulsion of body, but like one going off to sleep, she went to rest in peace.

“Her youngest daughter had already died holily in our house before her mother. The second daughter married a rich man, and brought him to me from a considerable distance to be made a Catholic. The eldest still lives in the same house, to be espoused not to man but to God, for she has a vocation to the Religious state. In the meantime she lives there religiously, and devotes herself to the service of Religious, as the lady of the house always did, and does still....”

“I gave the Spiritual Exercises in this house to many others, as well to those who formed part of the family as to others; and in each case the fruit which I hoped for was produced....”

“But suddenly all things were upset for a time, and all good hindered by the Powder Plot, as it is called. And if proof were wanting that I knew nothing of this affair, this alone would be sufficient, that at that very time I had sent several from England across the sea into these parts. One was a lady, who was going to be a Nun in the Benedictine Convent at Brussels, whither I had sent two others not long before, who are now in high authority there. Another had been an heretical minister, whom I had brought to the Faith and instructed. He was the last that I received into the Church before these disturbances. When these persons, with certain others, were on the point of crossing the Channel, orders were sent to allow no ships to leave; they were, consequently, all taken and thrown into prison, from which they [pg clxxiv] were released two years ago. He who had been a minister is at present studying in the Roman College; and the lady of whom I spoke is now professed in the convent whither she was going when she was taken. Only one other minister besides the one just mentioned did I convert in England, and he is now a Priest and is working in that vineyard. I also sent over many youths to the Seminaries while I was in this last residence of mine, who will, by God's help, give fruit in due season.

“But if we have received good things from God's hands, why should we not also bear with evil things?—if those things can be truly called evil which are sent from Him, and therefore sent that He may draw good from them, for those who receive them well, and humbly recognize and adore His providence, both when He gives and when He takes away. He had, indeed, given me many and great consolations in this residence; interior consolations chiefly, from conversions and from the signal progress in virtue of many souls; but exterior consolations were not wanting. For in external matters everything was well and abundantly supplied me. I had several excellent horses for my missionary journeys, and all that I could wish for to carry on the work I had in hand. Then, in the house itself, the arrangements were made in the best way both for our health and our convenience. And for companion I had Father Strange, who is now in the Tower123 (for Master Digby had obtained Father Percy from the Superior), and another Priest who resided a long time with us. We had, moreover, good store of useful books, which were kept in a library without any concealment, because they had the appearance of belonging to the young Baron, and of having been left him by his uncle,124 who was a very learned and studious nobleman, and was well known for his piety. He had, in fact, resigned the right and title of the barony to his [pg clxxv] younger brother, the father of the present lord, in order that he might more entirely and securely devote himself to God and his studies. If he had lived a little longer, he would assuredly have been a member of our Society, for on his death-bed this was the only thing that caused him regret, namely, that he could not then be admitted into the Society, a thing he desired most earnestly.

“Our vestments and altar furniture were both plentiful and costly. We had two sets for each colour which the Church uses; one for ordinary use, the other for Feast-days: some of these latter were embroidered with gold and pearls, and figured by well-skilled hands. We had six massive silver candlesticks on the altar, besides those at the sides for the Elevation; the cruets were of silver also, as were the basin for the lavabo, the bell, and the thurible. There were, moreover, lamps hanging from silver chains, and a silver crucifix on the altar. For greater Festivals, however, I had a crucifix of gold, a foot in height, on the top of which was represented a pelican, while on the right arm of the cross was an eagle with expanded wings carrying on its back its young ones, who were also attempting to fly; on the left arm a phoenix expiring in flames that it might leave an offspring after it; and at the foot was a hen with her chickens, gathering them under her wings. All this was made of wrought gold by a celebrated artist....”

“But I, who was not sufficiently grateful to God for these benefits which I have mentioned, and many others, was compelled to leave them to others who could use them better and to greater advantage.

“For since it was my chief friends who were involved in that disaster of the Powder Plot, the Council on this account believed me to be privy to it, and from the first sought for me with great persistence and severity. They sent certain magistrates to search our house most exactly, with orders, if they found me not, to stay in the house till recalled, to post guards all round the house every night, and to have men on the watch both day and night at a distance of three miles from the house on every side, who were to apprehend all whom they did not know and bring them before the Justices. All this was done to the letter. But immediately the news reached us of such a plot having been [pg clxxvi] discovered, and we learnt that certain of our friends had been killed and others taken, expecting that in such a season we, too, should have something to suffer, we had made all snug before they came, so that they found nothing. They continued searching, however, for many days, till at last my hostess discovered to the Justice in chief command one of the hiding-places in which a few books had been stowed away, thinking that he would then desist from searching any further, under the impression that if a Priest had been in the house he would have been hidden there, yet they continued in the house for full nine days; and I, meanwhile, remained shut up in a hole where I could sit, but not stand upright. This time, however, I did not suffer from hunger, for every night food was brought to me secretly; nay, after four or five days, when the rigour of the search was somewhat relaxed, my friends even took me out at night and warmed me at a fire, for it was wintry weather, just before Christmas-tide. And when nine days had passed the searching party withdrew, believing it impossible I could be there so long without being discovered.

“In the meantime they had taken a Priest, who, knowing nothing of the watch set about the place, was coming to our house for safety. This good Priest (by name Thomas Laithwaite,125 who is now of our Society, and is labouring in England) had left us a few days before at my request, when we heard of the Plot, in order to communicate with Father Garnett, and obtain from him for me instructions how to act in the present crisis. Even on his way thither he was taken, but escaped again for that time in the following manner. His captors took him to an inn, intending to bring him up for examination and committal the next day. On entering the inn he took off his cloak and sword and laid them on a bench; then, on pretence of looking after his horse and getting him taken to water, he went to the stable, and, as there was a stream near the house, he bade the boy lead the horse thither at once, and himself went along also. When they had come to the stream and the horse was drinking, ‘Go,’ said he to the lad, ‘get [pg clxxvii] ready the hay and the straw for his bed, and I will bring him back when he has drunk.’ The boy returned to the stable without further thought, and he, mounting his horse, spurred him into the stream, and swam him to the opposite bank. Those in the inn, seeing his cloak and sword still lying there, had for some time no suspicion of his stratagem; but hearing from the stable-boy what had happened, they saw they had been outwitted, and immediately set off in pursuit. They were, however, too late, for the fugitive, knowing the way well, got to the house of a Catholic before night, and lay hid there for a few days. Then, finding that he could not get to Father Garnett, and thinking all danger had passed in our direction, he tried to return to me. But while avoiding Charybdis he fell into the clutches of Scylla; for, as I said above, he was taken on his way to our house, and dragged to London. They were not able, however, to prove him a Priest, and his brother was allowed to buy him his freedom for a sum of money.

“Two other Priests who were resident with me in that house (one of whom, as I said before, was Father Strange), at the beginning of their troubles wished to go to Father Garnett and remain with him. Both of them, however, were taken prisoners on their way; one was thrown into Bridewell, and was afterwards banished, together with other Priests, while Father Strange, the other, was sent to the Tower, where he suffered much, as has been before mentioned.”