(Curtain rises on Richmond market place. Stall around sides of stage and back. In foreground, tables and benches; side show of some funny sort. Tents at one side. Country folk walking about, farmers and wives.)
No. 4.
Cho. Come, O maidens fair,
Yes, come, but come with cheerful looks!
Handsome is as handsome does,
The rule that suits our books.
Hasten, hasten, cheerful maidens,
Do not linger on the way,
Soon the Hiring Fair will open
And advancing is the day.
Done! once the bargain is agreed to
Neither can undo it.
Done! faithful servants, kindly masters,
Neither then will rue it.
Neatness is the best of graces,
Smooth of hair come every one;
In a row all take your places,
Soon the choosing will be done.
If you'll be but quick and neat
And try to do your best,
You will find a happy home,
And the pay of your deserving. Come!
Find a home, yes, come.
(Enter serving maids, arm in arm. Farmers go to meet them.)
Servants' Cho. Hither come, linger not,
Fate a home will allot, etc.
Farmers and Wives. Come this way, don't delay,
We have waited you many a day.
Serv. Oh, not now, but tomorrow,
We are tired, we are shy.
Farmers. Handsome is that handsome does,
The best rule that ever was.
(Farmers and wives try to bring servants into a line forward on stage. The servants hold back.)
Serv. Since the day how we have run,
Now we shall know,
Just where each girl is going to go.
Now our journey's o'er and here we rest with you at last,
After many a mile so long and lone is over past.
(Servants scatter about stage, some lying down as if to rest, as Lionel and Plunket enter. They come on talking. Plunket is dressed as a peasant farmer and carries a whip. Lionel is dressed as a gentleman, but plainly.)
Plunket. Here is a jolly howdoyoudo. What a clatter they make! The farmers are all going to engage servants for the coming year out of this crowd of chattering hussies. It is a good thing to take your time to choose, though, for once the bargain is made you have to stick to it for at least a year. What do you say, Lionel? Have you picked out your Betsy Ann?
Lionel. Betsy Ann—what do you mean? (He speaks absently, slowly, and his demeanor throughout is one of dreamy abstraction. He is very grave and pensive, altogether a young man who would be likely to take a love affair very seriously and perhaps lose his mental balance temporarily over it.)
Plun. I mean our serving girl. You know mother put it in her will that we must keep up the farm together. So now like two good housewives we must fly around and choose a maid. Her name may be Sally or Katy or Jane, but I shall call her Betsy Ann! (Laughs.)
Lio. I shall always remember your dear mother and be grateful.
Plun. Yes, she was a good woman and a good mother, aye, a good manager, too. She knew how to make the maids attend to their work.
Lio. But she was kind. She was always so kind to me.
Plun. Yes, she loved you. If you had been her own child she could not have tended you more anxiously. You were a mere baby when your father died and left you in our care. No one could help trying to make up your loss to you, somehow. If I'd a mind I might have been jealous of you. I was always the one who got the scoldings. I suppose mother owed them to me, for I was her own naughty boy!
Lio. You have always been a real brother to me, Plunket. No helpless child could have had a happier fate than to find home with you.
Plun. You had no one but mother and me, old chap, don't you see? What else could a fellow do but try to keep you heartened up a little? (Laughs with some embarrassment.)
Lio. And yet even now we do not know who I really am. We shall never know, unless some day my father's ring (lifts his hand) may serve to clear up the mystery at last. (Sings.)
No. 5.
Lio. O'er my life from boyhood tender,
You have watched with sheltering care,
You your all would fain surrender,
With the orphan child to share.
You fulfilled a father's duty,
When he left me to your love,
Ah, he heard my mother calling,
Heard her call from heaven above.
Plun. Nor his rank nor name he told us,
Nor the secret dar'd unseal (touches Lionel's hand),
This his ring one day shall tell it,
All the mystery yet reveal.
On your finger when he placed it,
"This may change his fate," he sighed,
"This my ring the Queen will honor
Should misfortune e'er betide."
Lio. Brother mine, 'mid courtly splendors
My vain longings ne'er shall rove,
Ah, no light on earth allures me,
Save the tender glow of love.
No strange joys I'd earn for yonder,
Peace and sweet content are here,
'Mid the fields are simple pleasures,
Calm affection, tried and dear.
(A bell from the village church gives the signal for the fair to begin. Sheriff enters pompously, the farmers and wives and servants flock after him. He is dressed in wig, hat and robe. He has a staff of office. A girl is pushed against him in the crowd. He waves her back majestically, at arm's length and speaks.)
Sheriff (speaks) Let the rabble stand back. Room for the majesty of the law. Ahem!
Girl (speaks pertly). My, ain't he the big wig, though! (Tweaks at his wig from behind and pulls it partly off. His hat falls off. She picks it up and runs.)
Sheriff. Ouch! (Grabs at wig with one hand and runs after the girl, shaking his staff at her. Another girl gets in his way; they dodge back and forth, till she puts her two hands, one each side of his face and tries to kiss him.)
Girl (speaks). There, there, old gentleman, don't feel so bad over a bit of our fun!
(Sheriff ducks to avoid kiss and leaves wig in her hands. He runs wildly about stage, clutching alternately at his bald head, and at the wig, which the girls toss back and forth, while he tries to snatch it. Finally one of the farmers catches it and restores it to sheriff. He puts it on and some one brings him his hat.)
Farmer (speaks). Young hussies, you must do better than this when you get to working for us. Behave yourselves, now!
Sheriff (much distressed, almost weeping with rage). I bind you all over to keep the peace on penalty of 10 shillings fine. (Pounds with his staff.) Does the majesty of the law mean naught to ye? Silence (they laugh), you low bred populace. But what can one expect from populace? Pah! They are beneath my notice. (Looks scornfully at them while music begins. A girl laughingly sticks out her tongue at him. He glares at her. She does it again. He looks hastily away and then back. She throws him a kiss, and all the rest follow suit. He scowls, but his face gradually softens into a smirk. The farmers drag the girls back into a line. Sheriff unrolls a parchment, that he takes from pocket of his big gown. He sings.)
No. 6.
Sheriff. We, Anne, Queen of England, greet ye!
(Snatches off his hat, farmers do the same.) Bonnets off, and mine likewise.
I no ceremony spare!
We hereby do recognize
Ev'ry contract good and sound
Made in Richmond market bound;
Every lass who here is hired,
Dating from this very day,
Till the year is full expired,
Must with her new master stay.
If he pay the money down
The bargain cannot be undone.
Have you heard?
Cho. We know, sir, it is so, sir.
Sher. Now you stand up in a row.
(Servants stand in line; he arranges them.)
Tell us, Moll, what you can do.
(One maid steps forward a little, bobs a curtsey.)
1st Maid. I can darn, sir, I can sew, sir,
I can milk and I can mow, sir.
I can bake and mend and make
And garden beds I can weed and rake.
1st Farmer (steps forward). All for just four pounds a year.
Well, at that she is not dear. (Takes girl one side.)
Sher. (to next girl). Now, my lass, what can you do?
2d Maid. (curtseys). I can mend, sir, sew a button,
On old socks new feet can put on,
I can roast and boil and stew,
Can churn and chop and also brew.
Sher. Five pounds a year,
'Tis for a song, now!
2d Farmer (steps up and leads her aside).
Here's my hand, done! Come along!
Sher. Come, it's your turn now to speak.
3d Maid. (curtseys). I can clean, sir, I can scrub, sir,
I'm a good one at a tub, sir,
Yes, to every sort of work,
My hand I turn and never shirk.
Sher. Kitty Bell and Johnny Snell,
And Nelly Browne and Sally Towne.
Cho. of Servants. How to care for babes I know, sir,
Bless 'em, I do love 'em so, sir,
I can take the cows to graze, sir,
And of poultry know the ways, sir;
I can bake and boil and brew, sir,
I can sew on buttons, too.
Men. I'm accustomed pigs to keep, sir,
Also, horses, cows and sheep, sir,
Pork and beef in brine I steep, sir,
Yes, and do the mowing cheap, sir;
I can dig a garden bed
And make a cabbage grow a head.
Ha, if you pay the cash,
We'll work just like a flash.
Ho, it's very clear,
All settled for a year.
Ho, now the deed is done,
We'll work like fun!
(The servants flock around him as they sing and gather closer and closer till he puts his hands over his ears and tries to get away from them. They crowd around and sing into his face and over his shoulders.)
Sher. (with hands at ears). Stop your cackling! You'll make me deaf!
Farmers. We are ready to choose, but one at a time, please.
(Girls drop back into line; farmers move about among them, Lionel and Plunket also, as if bargaining with them. Enter Lady Harriet, Nancy and Tristan in peasant costume.)
Lady H. Come on, John! Courage man! Nobody's going to hurt you!
Nan. Come, friend John! Don't look so scared. We'll take care of you!
Tris. John? O, im-pos-si-ble! O, pre-pos-ter-ous! I don't like this one bit. It is most unseemly. Yet—where beauty leads, love fain must follow.
Lady H. How gay they all seem! They at least are happy.
Tris. I know I am not! I never felt less jolly before (plaintively) in all my life. (Aside.) I feel as if I were going to cry. (Face works.)
(Plunket and Lionel approach the three and stand at a short distance, gazing at Lady H. and Nancy.)
Plun. Jove! There's a brace of darlings!
Lio. Yes, they are very pretty girls.
Plun. Rather slim built for hard work, though.
Lio. They might do house work?
Plun. Yes, they might serve indoors. I don't know—(pauses)
Tris. See those clodhoppers! How they stare at you. O, do be persuaded to leave this horrid, horrid place.
Lady H. and Nan (together). No, indeed. We like it and we are going to stay.
Tris. I think those fellows are very suspicious looking characters. A pair of rogues. Let's go (urging them by taking their arms).
Lady H. I'm not under your orders, sir. It is my pleasure to stay. I'll do exactly as I choose!
Tris. Well, I wash my hands of all responsibility. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Nan (sees that Plunket and Lionel are watching her). Those lads have an eye for a good thing, though. (To Tristan.) We'll take all the blame. No one shall say that you led us into mischief, poor dear!
Lady H. Yes, cousin, you are exonerated. Whatever happens, be it upon my own rash head. But I will not go! (Emphatically.)
Plun. (overhears last words). You hear, sir? She will not go with you. Don't annoy the girls any further. (To girls.) Call on us if he bothers you. (To Tris., who looks daggers.) But cheer up! There are plenty more maids yonder. Hi, girls (turns to the servants). Here's a chap wants a good maid, and he looks as if he could pay well, too.
Tris. Oh! what a beastly joke! He's taking liberties with me! (He looks scared and affronted.)
(Lady H. and Nancy laugh together over Tristan's plight as the girls come forward and surround him.)
All (chattering). I can mow, I can sew, I can reap, I can sweep, I can bake and make, I can boil and stew, I can churn and brew! (All speak different lines from the part just sung and make a great clatter and confusion. Tristan dodges among them and runs off, the girls following him.)
Lady H. He has taken refuge in flight!
Nan. Let's hope he won't forget us.
Lady H. (nervously). See those men. They are still looking at us.
Nan. They seem to have taken a fancy to us, that's plain.
Plun. (to Lionel). One of them would be just what we want, I think—-the younger one, now. (Nods at Nancy.)
Lionel. It would never do to separate them. See how shy they are.
Lady H. (to Nancy). That one seems quite bashful, doesn't he? I wonder how such peasants talk?
Nan. Bad grammar, for one thing.
Plun. (to Lionel). What are you afraid of? Go speak to them.
Lio. I'm afraid to.
Plun. Silly noodle! Just watch me. (Advances boldly as if to speak to the ladies, stops suddenly and goes back.)
Nan. The big one is dumb, too; aren't they stupid! Let's go.
Lady H. (turns to follow Tristan). I suppose we'd better—
(Hesitates and looks back at the two men.)
Plun. We must not let such a chance slip. Servant girls like those are not found every day. I have taken a fancy to that big one and I don't mean to let her get away. Courage, Plunket! (He advances again, again hesitates, and snapping his fingers at himself, advances and speaks.) Wait a moment, girls! We've decided we like you. If you're as smart as you look you can have a good place with us for years.
Lio. Yes, for years and years!
Lady H. You mean as your servants?
Plun. Of course! What else?
Nan. (laughing). Ha! ha! ha! what a joke!
Lio. What is there to laugh at?
Plun. So long as they do their work, the more they laugh, the better.
Lady H. and Nan. Work! We!
Plun. (to Nan.). I'll give you the care of the geese and pigs and chickens. (To Lady H.) You shall have charge of the garden—weed it, and gather potatoes and corn.
Lio. O come! that's too hard for her. Let her do housework—
Plun. And darn our socks and mend our shirts? Very well. We'll pay you fifty crowns a year. For extras there'll be a pint of ale on Sundays and plum pudding on New Years.
Lady H. Who could refuse such a tempting offer? (Laughs.)
Nan. Now I know what I am worth, at last! (Laughs.)
Plun. and Lio. (eagerly). You agree?
Lady H. and Nan. Yes! yes! We agree! (They shake hands.)
Plun. It's a bargain! Here's the money down!
(Lady H. and Nan. each put the money in their purse, laughing together.)
No. 7.
(At close of quartette Tristan comes back to stage, evidently exhausted and much dishevelled; the servants follow him and again surround him.)
Tris. Oh, I thought I had eluded them! Leave off! Here's money! (Throws a purse.) Plague on your crazy pack! (The girls run to divide the money.) Ho! what is this? (He advances toward Plunket, who has hold of Nancy's arm.) You forget yourself! Forbear!
Plun. Who are you? What do you want? (A tussel threatens between the two men. Tristan backs down, afraid.)
Lady H. There, there! it's all right! (To Tristan.) We are ready to go now. (Takes his arm.)
Plun. I'd like to see you! With my money in your purse! You stay with us!
Tris. Fellow! do you know who this is?
Lady H. (aside to Tris.) No! no! don't betray me! Think what a scandal if this got to court! Don't you dare to tell them who I am!
Nan. (aside). We should be disgraced forever. Rather die than that!
Tris. Well, come, then. It is time for me to insist. I require you to come with me. (Tries to lead them off.)
Plun. (interferes). Not so fast! You belong here. These are my maids, hired and cash paid in advance! Ask the sheriff!
Sheriff (who has approached during the altercation, after a long confab with one of the other girls at one side). Have you taken the money?
Lady H. (draws it out of her purse and flings it at Lionel). Yes. But there it is; I had forgotten it.
(Lionel picks it up and offers it back. She refuses it. He insists.)
Sheriff. You took it of your own free will and now it is a bargain. You are bound to serve for one year. Highty, tighty! Do you think you can play fast and loose with a master in that fashion? No, no! Bound you are to him and with him you must go!
(During final chorus Plun. drives up his horse and cart and the two girls are handed into the cart. They drive away. Tristan tries to follow, but is restrained by the crowd. If the horse and cart cannot be had, the two girls may dodge about among the crowd, the men following them, and run off at last, the men chasing them.)
No. 7a.Finale.
Chorus.
Now our journey's o'er and here we rest with you at last,
After many a mile so long and lone is over past.
(Curtain.)
