| CHAPTER I |
| MOTHERHOOD |
| A sterile Royal Family once fruitful—Diary true record of self—Long legs of Countess Solms—A child only because he can't help it—Wet nurse to Socialist brat—Royal permit for nursing—Royal negligee talk—A Saxon failing |
| CHAPTER II |
| THE SWEET FAMILY |
| Husband loving, but family nasty—Money considerations—Brutal caresses in public—Pests in the family—Awful serenity—Meddle with angels' or devils' affairs—Father-in-law's gritty kiss |
| CHAPTER III |
| WEEPING WILLOW—EMBLEM ROYAL |
| A pious fraud—Theresa Mayer—Character of the Queen—Mopishness rampant |
| CHAPTER IV |
| MY UNPLEASANT YOUTH |
| Father hard to get along with—Royal imaginations—Kings cursing other kings—Poverty and pretense—Piety that makes children suffer—Up at five to pray on cold stones—Chilblains and prayer |
| CHAPTER V |
| A FIERCE DISCIPLINARIAN |
| Diamonds used to punish children—Face object of attacks— Grunting and snorting at the royal table—Blood flowing at dinner—My brother jumps out of a window |
| CHAPTER VI |
| LEOPOLD DEFENDS MY HONOR AT HIS PERIL |
| Punished for objecting to familiarities—Awful names I was called—Locked in the room with wicked teacher—Defend myself with burning lamp—My brother nearly kills my would-be assailant |
| CHAPTER VII |
| PRINCES AND PRINCESSES DANCE TO THE TUNE OF THE WHIP |
| The result shows in the character of rulers—Why English kings and princes are superior to the Continental kind—Leopold's awful revenge—Mother acts the tigress—Her mailed fist—"I forbid Your Imperial Highness to see that dog" |
| CHAPTER VIII |
| PLANNING TO GET A HUSBAND FOR ME |
| Dissecting possible wooers at Vienna—Royalty after money, not character—"He is a Cohen, not a Coburg"—Prince who looked like a Jew counter-jumper in his Sunday best—Balkan princes tabooed by Francis Joseph—A good time for the girls—Army men commanded to attend us |
| CHAPTER IX |
| LOVE-MAKING |
| The fascinating Baron—The man's audacity—Putting the question boldly—Real love-making—RisquÉ stories for royalty |
| CHAPTER X |
| MY POPULARITY RENDERS GEORGE DYSPEPTIC |
| The Cudgel-Majesty—Prince George's intrigues—No four-horse coach for Princess—Popular demonstration in my favor—"All-highest" displeasure |
| CHAPTER XI |
| SCOLDED FOR BEING POPULAR |
| Entourage spied upon by George's minions—My husband proves a weakling—I disavow the personal compliment—No more intelligent than a king should be |
| CHAPTER XII |
| ROYAL DISGRACE—LIGHTNING AND SHADOWS |
| Ordered around by the Queen—Give thanks to a bully—Jealous of the "mob's" applause—"The old monkey after 'Hochs'"—Criticizing the "old man"—Royalty's plea for popularity—Proposed punishments for people refusing to love royalty |
| CHAPTER XIII |
| UNSPEAKABLE LITTLENESSES OF PETTY COURTS |
| Another quarrel with my husband—Personal attendant to a corpse—Killing by pin pricks—The mythical three "How art thou's?"—Unwanted sympathy from my inferiors—Pride of the decapitated Queen of France is in me—Lovers not impossible—Court to blame for them—My husband acts cowardly—Brutalizes my household—I lock myself in |
| CHAPTER XIV |
| IMPERIAL RUSSIAN ETHICS TRANSFERRED TO DRESDEN |
| My husband's reported escapade—Did he give diamonds to a dancing girl?—His foolish excuses—"I am your pal"—A restaurant scene in St. Petersburg—The birthday suit |
| CHAPTER XV |
| ROYALTY NOT PRETTY, AND WHY |
| Fecundity royal women's greatest charm—How to have beautiful children |
| CHAPTER XVI |
| MORE JEALOUSIES OF THE GREAT |
| Men and women caress me with their eyes—Some disrespectful sayings and doings of mine—First decided quarrel with Frederick Augustus—I go to the theatre in spite of him |
| CHAPTER XVII |
| THE ROYAL PRINCE, WHO BEHAVES LIKE A DRUNKEN BRICKLAYER |
| I face the music, but my husband runs away—Prince George can't look me in the eye—He roars and bellows—Advocates wife-beating—I defy him—German classics—"Jew literature" Auto da fÉ ordered |
| CHAPTER XVIII |
| I DEFY THEM |
| Laughter and pleasant faces for me—Frederick Augustus refuses to back me, but I don't care—We quarrel about my reading—He professes to gross ignorance |
| CHAPTER XIX |
| ATTEMPTED VIOLENCE DEFEATED BY FIRMNESS |
| Frederick Augustus seeks to carry out his father's brutal threats—Orders and threats before servants—I positively refuse to be ordered about—Frederick Augustus plays Mrs. Lot—Enjoying myself at the theatre |
| CHAPTER XX |
| TITLED SERVANTS LOW AND CUNNING |
| CHAPTER LXIII |
| WHAT I WILL DO WHEN I AM QUEEN |
| A foretaste: titled servants put me en route for lover—The bargain I will propose to Frederick Augustus—Frederick Augustus will be a complaisant King—To revive Petit Trianon—I am addressed as Queen |
| CHAPTER LXIV |
| THE KING IS ALIVE AND PUNISHMENT NEAR |
| My queenship postponed—King George publicly acclaimed—Cuts me dead in church—Frederick Augustus's disappointment—Terrible power of a king over his family, and no appeal—I am like the nude witch of old |
| CHAPTER LXV |
| FISTICUFFS DON'T SAVE MY CROWN |
| The attempted theft of my Diary—Grand Mistress discovered after breaking open my desk—Reading Diary like mad—Personal encounter between me and Grand Mistress—I am the stronger, and carry off the manuscript, but have to leave all my love letters, which go to the King—I discover that they had stolen the key to my Diary from my neck |
| CHAPTER LXVI |
| ABANDONED |
| My titled servants withdraw from me—An old footman my sole support—Queen takes the children—Old Andrew plays spy for me |
| CHAPTER LXVII |
| FAMILY COUNCIL AT CASTLE |
| Rendezvous at studio—State takes my children from me—Madhouse or flight—I brought fifty-two trunks to the palace—Depart with small satchel—If I attempt to see my children I'll be seized as "mad woman"—Varying emotions of the last ten minutes—Threatening shadows thrown on a curtain decide me—Ready for flight—Diary the last thing to go into the satchel |
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