Washing the Girlies

(From Indianapolis News.)

EXPERIENCED lady cleaners. Park Theater.

Here It Is Again

(From the Mandan, N. D., Pioneer.)

We stand behind every bed we sell. Home Furnishing Co., Mandan.

Take a Tip, Horace

(From Augusta Chronicle.)

Horace—Please do not phone me again. Father is cleaning his gun.—Lulu.

A Vague Gee-String

(From Le Bon Ton.)

“The vague bodice joins the skirt at the hip line with an embroidery stitch.”

Hey! Hold That Job

(Providence, R. I., Journal.)

WANTED—At Hotel Randolph, first class porter; room furnished; also chambermaid.

Take Your Turn, Boys!

(From Shreveport Times.)

YOUNG lady wants refined girl to share room. Also vacancy for two gentlemen. 1821 Marshall.

The Swamp

(From the Lowell Tribune.)

George B. Bailey went to Indianapolis Thursday to attend a meeting of the committee on drainage of the legislature.

Job Wanted

(From Akron, O., Beacon-Journal.)

A JOLLY GOOD LADY wants position as housekeeper in widower’s or bachelor’s home. Write E, Box 34, Beacon-Journal.

Oh You Farmer!

(From Wichita Eagle.)

A NICE APPEARING lady, about 40, a first class housekeeper, wants to keep house for a gentleman on farm where there is no other woman.

The Truth Revealed

(From Iron Mountain Tribune-Gazette.)

I wish to correct an error made by me in Monday night’s paper. My wife did not leave my bed and board, as stated, but I left the home myself as she told me to.—Jalmer Gustafson.

Triflers Form in the Rear

(From the Denver Post.)

A woman, beautiful, refined, 30 years, wishes to meet man; clean habits and education. Must be wealthy and a cripple; matrimony; no general delivery or triflers answer.

Anything to Please

(From Pensacola, Fla., News.)

SITUATION WANTED—A young widow, with one child, desires a good home as housekeeper in a wealthy widower’s home; no objection to one or two children. “V. S.,” care News.

Enough Is Too Much

He sat on the edge of her desk and swung his legs. She, being fully satisfied that the brevity of her frock and the excellence of her silk hose would lend charm to such a proceeding, did likewise. For she was a good secretary, and all study the tastes of their employers.

“Everything all right about the Sutton case?” he asked.

“Oh, quite,” she replied, “here are the papers,” and she passed them towards him—but before he could take them they fell to the floor.

“I am so awfully sorry,” she said, as he went down on his knees to pick them up, “let me help you.”

Then a most extraordinary thing happened. He kissed her. And she, being a proud girl and not wishing to accept favors from any man, returned it. It was a very free and easy office.

About an hour later he said he must go and see Brown about the Ware case.

But Brown was out.

So he sat on the edge of Brown’s secretary’s desk and swung his legs.

She, being every bit as good a secretary as his own, did likewise.

After a pleasant chat he said he must go home.

He found his wife reclining on a sofa swinging her legs.

“Had a busy day?” she asked him.

“Yes, very busy,” he replied.

“You’re late, are you not?”

“Yes,” he grunted, “one or two little things kept me at the office.” He glanced at his wife disapprovingly. “And for heaven’s sake, don’t sit there swinging your legs like that. It annoys me.”

Naughty Coppers

Speaking about the St. Paul chief of police who claimed he was “framed” with a patrolman’s wife, here’s one from London:

It had been a fairly warm evening, but about 11 p.m. it became bitterly cold and Patrolman Snorkins decided he would chance it and go and fetch his great-coat. So slipping away from his beat he hurried round to his cottage and, throwing some gravel against his wife’s bedroom window, he shouted “Chuck me out my coat, old dear.”

The wife chucked out the coat and, putting it on in the darkness, he hurried back to his beat.

“Hello, Bill,” he said to his policeman pal who was waiting for him at the end of the beat. “I just slipped round and got my coat. It’s blooming cold, ain’t it?”

“It is,” agreed Bill, eyeing him curiously. “But, say, when the devil did you get made a sergeant?”

Mottoes of the Vampire

“Gee, I wish I had a ‘sucker’ like the other girlie has—” and

“I’d like to lose you—I’m so used to you now.”

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