  Here’s to the WomanA smile for every joy, A tear for every sorrow, A consolation for every grief, An excuse for every fault, A prayer for every misfortune, And an encouragement for every hope. * * * SermonetteMost of us love to dance, but that Is nothing to reprove; The ones who ought to be suppressed Are those who dance to love. * * * Memories of the PastSing this to the tune of “On the Rocky Road to Dublin.” Three cheers for the red wine and booze, Three cheers for Ireland, and Michael Kenna too; When grub was slim and pickings thin, We all came to Hink’s, To eat a lot of free lunch, Without buying any drinks. * * * Mary has two silken sox, Rolled down below her knees; Mary once had chickenpox, Which spoiled the scenery. * * * Of Course NotCarefully she rouges her dimpled knees, Then adds a powdery sheen, Do you think she does this little stunt, If she thinks they won’t be seen? * * * Where Silence Was GoldenThree gentlemen were seated in a street car. One of them, who stuttered badly, turned to the man nearest him and said: “W-w-w-would y-y-you p-p-p-please t-t-t-tell m-me w-what t-t-time it is?” Receiving no reply he thought he had addressed a foreigner and soon left the car. The third gentleman turned to the one that had been asked for the time of day and said: “Why didn’t you tell that poor fellow the time? I never thought that anyone could be so uncivil.” The one who had been asked for the time turned and said: “D-d-d-do y-y-y-you t-t-think I-I-I-I w-w-wanted t-t-to ge-ge-get my h-h-head ku-ku-knocked off?” * * * Does It Pay to Forget?An Irishman and a German went out to the back yard to settle an argument with their fists. Just before the fight started they agreed that when either of them had enough he would say “Sufficient.” Then they went at it. The Irishman soon knocked the Fritzie off his feet. Heinie got up, shook his head and, catching the Irishman off his guard, hit him for a goal. Pat came back fast and furious, and so the battle waged fast and faster—when finally the German, about ready to drop from sheer exhaustion, cried out—“Sufficient.” Pat shook hands with him and said: “I’ve been trying to think of that word for the last ten minutes.” |
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