  Oh, I Beg Your Pardon!I stepped inside and closed the door, Thinking the office was Brady’s, But turned when I saw the white tiled floor, And found that the sign read SEIDAL * * * Winding StaresShe went up the winding stairs, And close behind I followed; She stooped down to tie her shoe, My chewing gum I swallowed. * * * Page Billy MisqueA girl who is young, cute and frisque, Can always get plenty of home-made whisque; Any guy she may asque Will slip her a flasque, If she’ll only slip him a kissque. * * * In a parlor were three, My girl, a lamp and me. Three’s a crowd without a doubt, Wasn’t it nice when the lamp went out? * * * At the Sign of the ZodiacThe Ram, the Bull, the Heavenly Twins; Near the Crab the Lion shines; The Virgin and the Scales; The Scorpion, Archer and the Goat; The Man who holds the Watering Pot, And Fishes with their glittering tails. * * * Shoo Fly, Oil Man!A horse-fly lit on the old cow’s skin, Hung his tools and spudded in. Bowed his back and jiggered his pole And all the time he was making a hole. The cow browsed on, in her usual way, Till the horse-fly’s bit struck regular “pay,” Then she swung her tail with a vicious dig And deftly skidded the horse-fly’s rig. * * * FastidiousA handsome young fellow named Bertie, Was out with a flapper named Gertie; “Come, kiss me,” he said, But she nodded her head And cried, “I think kissing’s too unsanitary.” * * * Bawl of a Brute BachelorHere’s to the woman of days gone by; (May we meet her kind above!) The woman for whom a man would die, The woman who ruled by love; Who didn’t harangue and who didn’t parade, In whose home it was sweet to dwell; Who believed in raising children, And not in raising hell! * * * “Why so thin, my pretty maid?” “I’m on a fast, kind sir,” she said. “And how fast are you now?” he said, “That’s none of your affair,” she said. * * * Lady of the House—You may go to your room now and change your dress. John, the butler, will show you the way. Maid (fussed)—Oh, I know how myself, missus. |
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