  There was a young man from Art Creek, Who went around dressed in batik, When they asked, “Are you well?” He replied, “Ain’t it hell? But in Art it’s the very last shriek.” * * * Another young chicken named Mary Was in love with a youngster named Larry, And when it was dark They went to the park, And there they did tarry and tarry. * * * There was a young feller named Aster Who went in a wild bullock’s pasture; The sweater he wore Made the poor bully sore, And so he ran faster and faster. * * * A sculptor made nymphs and bacchantes, Omitting the coaties and panties, Till a kind-hearted Madam, Who knew where they had ’em. Donated some warm Ypsilantis. * * * The Impulsive CussA maiden not lacking in pride Went out with her beau for a ride. She said, “Tell me, Joe, How far do you go?” “The sky is my limit!” he cried. * * * There was an old sculptor named Phidias, Whose knowledge of art was invidious. He carved Aphrodite Without any nightie, Which shocked all the people fastidious. * * * There was a young lady named Florence, Who for kissing professed great abhorrence. At last she was kissed, And said: “My! What I’ve missed!” And cried till the tears fell in torrents. * * * This story may be overdrawn, But now that my ink is all gone, I’ll say goodby, guys, And cease with my lies; ’Tis yours very truly,—Bull Kahn. * * * Even the repeal of the Eighteenth amendment wouldn’t do the brewers any good. Everybody knows how to make his own, now. * * * I Like ’em, God Bless ’emThese widowers are an elusive lot, I like ’em! They make you forego the sense you’ve got, I like ’em! They call you young, they think you’re green, For blasÉ women they’re beaucoup keen, They’re the worst darn pests I’ve ever seen, I like ’em. —By Flo. * * * The best man that ever lived Must take his child on faith alone, But the worst woman that ever lived Knows that her child’s her own. * * * That Osculating ThingA little kissing now and then Is why we have the married men. A little kissing, too, of course, Is why we have the quick divorce. * * * The Alphabet of LoveA is the art of man and maid; B is the blush, so fair, displayed; C is the challenge in the eyes; D the dare that soon replies; E but why the rest recall? The rest is E-Z, that’s all. * * * A buzz ran ’round the party, Some maids were e’en in tears; A blasÉ girl—ye Gods, the shame— Had left exposed her ears. * * * The melancholy days have come, The saddest of the year. There’s no coal in the cellar, And no goodness in the beer. * * * If I had a girl and she was mine, I’d paint her back with iodine; And on her ankles I’d place this sign, “Keep off the lunch, they’re mine, they’re mine.” * * * SincerityLet me live in a house By the side of the road Where the races of men go by; The men who are good And the men who are bad, Just as good and as bad as I. I would not sit on the scorner’s seat Or hurl the Cynic’s ban; But let me live in a house By the side of the road And be a friend to man. * * * BATHING BEAUTIES! Photograph of two young ladies in 1920s swimwearReal photographs of the famous California Bathing Girls. Just the thing for your den. Size 3½×5½. Positively the best on the market. Assortment of 6 for 25 cents or 25 for $1.00. Send money order or stamps. Foreign money not accepted unless exchange is included. Egbert Brothers, Dept. W. B., 303 Buena Vista Street, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA Wholesale agents wanted everywhere in the U. S. Write for wholesale terms. * * * Milady’s stocking, like a doctor’s prescription blank, must be filled to be appreciated. Start the New Year right and fill in the coupon below NOW. $2.50 per year. Capt. Billy’s Whiz Bang, Enclosed is money order Name Street City & State * * * Everywhere! WHIZ BANG is on sale at all leading hotels, news stands, on trains, 25 cents single copies, or may be ordered direct from the publisher at 30 cents single copies; two-fifty a year. A bull |
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