  Dese vimens! Ach! dese vimens! To me id is quide sad Dat dey can be so bootiful, Und yet can be so bad. Dey vonce a fool haf made me As never vas before; Bud now I know dose vimens, Und dey don't do dat no more. Look! I am here a baker, Und bread und biscuits bake, Der dough-nuts, und der cooken, Und all such tings I make; Von voman to my shop come, So bootiful und big, Her eyes vas plue und shining, Her hair joost like a vig. She come again next day, Und in my dough-nuts buying She stole mine heart avay; For, ach! she vas so lofely As never yet I found— I tink dot even both my arms Her vaist could not go round. Von day to me she say: "I vish I could dose dough-nuts make; My family is goned avay; Come now, und ve shall make Some dough-nuts in my kitchen, If you vill show me how." I go. Because I tink, perhaps, I get her for mine vrow. Der kitchen id vas big und clean, Der supper vas set out. Mit places at der table For two, mit pie, und stout. I show her how dough-nuts to make, Und den ve sit to sup; Ven comes a vistle at der gate; Der voman she jumps up. "Quick! quick!" she say, "here somevon comes, Und you must herein hide." She pushes me der pantry in, Mit nothing else beside. I peep der keyhole through und see A big policeman stand; Der voman seems him pleased to see, Und shakes him by der hand. (Dot supper made for me), Und I am in der pantry shut, mad as mad can be; I sit der flour barrel upon, Der barrel it go through, Und in der flour I tumble. Ach! It make me schneize "Tish-oo!" Der policeman say "Hark! vat is dat?" Und open burst der door; Dey see me den,—all vite mit flour Und tumbled on der floor. Der voman scream "A burglar man!" Und tremble, und look pale; Der policeman den he take me up, And march me off to gaol. A fine shall make me pay; Der policeman und der voman Dey get married yesterday: So never now I trust no more All vimens vat I see; Dey make again some other man A fool, but never me.
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