  'Twas on the "Royal Sovereign," Which sails from Old Swan Pier, That Henry Phipps met Emily Green, And—this is somewhat queer— Aboard the ship was Obadiah, Likewise a lady called Maria The surnames of these people I Cannot just now recall, But 'tis quite immaterial, It matters not at all. The point is this—Phipps met Miss Green; The sequel quickly will be seen. He noticed her the first time when To luncheon they went down (The luncheon on the "Sovereign" Is only half a-crown), Where Obadiah gravely at The table, with Maria, sat. Phipps looked at Emily—she at him. Maria likewise noticed it, And thereupon grew stern and grim, Though neither one of all the four Had met the other one before. Now Emily Green was pretty, but Maria—she was the reverse; While Obadiah's looks were tra- Gic—something like Macbeth's, but worse.— And these two somehow seemed to be Quite down on Phipps, and Miss E. G. For when she smiled, and kindly passed The salt—which Phipps had asked her for— Maria tossed her head and sniffed, And Obadiah muttered "Pshaw!" While later on Miss E. G. thinks She heard Maria call her "minx." Just ventured, in a casual way, To pass appropriate remarks, Or comment on the "perfect" day, He caught Maria listening, and, Close by, saw Obadiah stand. At last, at Margate by the Sea, The "Royal Sovereign" came to port. Phipps hurried off and soon secured A lodging very near The Fort (He'd understood Miss Green to say That she should lodge somewhere that way). He really was annoyed to find That Obadiah came there too, While Miss Maria, opposite, The parlour blinds was peering through. Still he felt very happy, for He saw Miss Green arrive next door. That night he met her on the pier, And Phipps, of course, he raised his hat. Miss Emily Green blushed, smiled, and stopped— It was not to be wondered at. But Obadiah, passing by, Transfixed them with his eagle eye. And, later in the evening, when The two were list'ning to the band, Phipps—tho' perhaps he oughtn't to— Was gently squeezing Emily's hand. He dropped it suddenly, for there Maria stood, with stony stare. 'Twas so on each succeeding day. Whate'er they did, where'er they went, There Obadiah followed them; Maria, too. No accident Sad interference with their bliss. At last Phipps, goaded to despair, Cried: "Pray, sir—what, sir, do you wish?" But Obadiah turned away, Merely ejaculating "Pish!" Then Phipps addressed Maria too, And all he got from her was "Pooh!" So Mr. Phipps and Emily Green Determined something must be done. And all one day they talked it o'er, From early morn till setting sun. Then, privately, the morrow fixed For joining in the bathing,—mixed. They knew that Obadiah would Be present, and Maria too. They were; and his machine was "8," Maria's Number "22." They each stood glaring from their door, Some little distance from the shore. Including Phipps and Emily Green— Each sought his own—his very own— Particular bathing-machine; But Nos. "22" and "8" Were left, unheeded, to their fate. When, one by one, the horses drew The other machines to the shore, Phipps bribed the men to leave those two Exactly where they were before. (In "8," you know, was Obadiah, And "22" contained Maria.) The two machines quite out to sea. The love affairs of Emily Green And Phipps proceeded happily. * * * I'm not quite certain of the fate Of either "22" or "8."
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