Title: Peregrine's Progress Author: Jeffery Farnol Language: English Produced by Yvonne Dailey, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team PEREGRINE'S PROGRESSBY JEFFERY FARNOLHe who hath Imagination is blessed or cursed with a fearful magic whereby he may scale the heights of Heaven or plumb the deeps of Hell CONTENTSANTE SCRIPTUMBOOK I—THE SILENT PLACESI Introducing Myself II Tells How and Why I Set Forth Upon the Quest in Question III Wherein the Reader Shall Find Some Description of an Extraordinary IV In Which I Meet a Down-at-Heels Gentleman V Further Concerning the Aforesaid Gentleman, One Anthony VI Describes Certain Lively Happenings at the "Jolly Waggoner" Inn VII White Magic VIII I Am Left Forlorn IX Describes the Woes of Galloping Jerry, a Notorious Highwayman X The Philosophy of the Same XI Which Proves Beyond All Argument That Clothes Make the Man XII The Price of a Goddess XIII Which Tells Somewhat of My Deplorable Situation XIV In Which I Satisfy Myself of My Cowardice XV Proving That a Goddess Is Wholly Feminine XVI In Which I Begin to Appreciate the Virtues of the Chaste Goddess XVII How We Set Out for Tonbridge XVIII Concerning the Grammar of a Goddess XIX How and Why I Fought with One Gabbing Dick, a Peddler XX Of the Tongue of a Woman and the Feet of a Goddess XXI In Which I Learned That I Am Less of a Coward Than I Had Supposed XXII Describing the Hospitality of One Jerry Jarvis, a Tinker XXIII Discusses the Virtues of the Onion XXIV How I Met One Jessamy Todd, a Snatcher of Souls XXV Tells of My Adventures at the Fair XXVI The Ethics of Prigging XXVII Juno Versus Diana XXVIII Exemplifying That Clothes Do Make the Man XXIX Tells of an Ominous Meeting XXX Of a Truly Memorable Occasion XXXI A Vereker's Advice to a Vereker XXXII How I Made a Surprising Discovery, Which, However, May Not XXXIII Of Two Incomparable Things. The Voice of Diana and Jessamy's XXXIV The Noble Art of Organ-Playing XXXV Of a Shadow in the Sun XXXVI Tells How I Met Anthony Again XXXVII A Disquisition on True Love XXXVIII A Crucifixion XXXIX How I Came Home Again TO THE READERBOOK II—SHADOWI The Incidents of an Early Morning Walk II Introducing Jasper Shrig, a Bow Street Runner III Concerning a Black Postchaise IV Of a Scarabaeus Ring and a Gossamer Veil V Storm and Tempest VI I Am Haunted of Evil Dreams VII Concerning the Song of a Blackbird at Evening VIII The Deeps of Hell IX Concerning the Opening of a Door X Tells How a Mystery Was Resolved XI Which Shows That My Uncle Jervas Was Right, After All XII Tells How I Went Upon an Expedition with Mr. Shrig TO MY PATIENT AND KINDLY READERBOOK III—DAWNI Concerning One Tom Martin, an Ostler II I Go to Find Diana III Tells How I Found Diana and Sooner Than I Deserved IV I Wait for a Confession V In Which We Meet Old Friends VI Which, as the Patient Reader Sees, Is the Last ANTE SCRIPTUMThis is the tale of Diana, the Gipsy, the Goddess, the Woman, one in all and all in one and that one so wonderful, so elusive, so utterly feminine that I, being but a man and no great student in the Sex, may, in striving to set her before you in cold words, distort this dear image out of all semblance and true proportion. Here and now I would begin this book by telling of Diana as I remember her, a young dryad vivid with life, treading the leafy ways, grey eyes a-dream, kissed by sun and wind, filling the woodland with the glory of her singing, out-carolling the birds. I would fain show her to you in her swift angers and ineffable tenderness, in her lofty pride and sweet humility, passionate with life yet boldly virginal, fronting evil scornful and undismayed, with eyes glittering bright as her "little churi" yet yielding herself a willing sacrifice and meekly enduring for Friendship's sake. With her should this book properly commence; but because I doubt my pen (more especially at this so early stage) I will begin not with Diana but with my aunt Julia, my uncle Jervas, my uncle George and my painfully conscious self, trusting that, as this narrative progresses, my halting pen may grow more assured and my lack of art be atoned for by sincerity. For if any writer or historian were sincere then most truly that am I. Therefore I set forth upon this relation humbly aware of my failings, yet trusting those who read will not fall asleep over my first ineffectual chapter nor throw the book aside after my second, but with kind and tolerant patience will bear with me and read bravely on until, being more at my ease, I venture to tell of Diana's wonderful self. And when they shall come to the final chapter of this history (if they ever do) may they be merciful in their judgment of their humble author, that is to say this same poor, ineffectual, unheroical person who now subscribes himself PEREGRINE VEREKER.Book OneTHE SILENT PLACESCHAPTER IINTRODUCING MYSELF"Nineteen to-day, is he!" said my uncle Jervas, viewing me languidly through his quizzing-glass. "How confoundedly the years flit! Nineteen—and on me soul, our poor youth looks as if he hadn't a single gentlemanly vice to bless himself with!" "Not one, Jervas, my boy," quoth my uncle George, shaking his comely head at me. "Not one, begad, and that's the dooce of it! It seems he don't swear, he don't drink, he don't gamble, he don't make love, he don't even—" "Don't, George," exclaimed my aunt Julia in her sternest tone, her handsome face flushed, her stately back very rigid. "Don't what, Julia?" "Fill our nephew's mind with your own base masculine ideas—I forbid." "But damme—no, Julia, no—I mean, bless us! What's to become of a man—what's a man to do who don't—" "Cease, George!" "But he's almost a man, ain't he?" "Certainly not; Peregrine is—my nephew—" "And ours, Julia. We are his legal guardians besides—" "And set him in my care until he comes of age!" retorted my aunt defiantly. "And there, happy youth, is his misfortune!" sighed my uncle Jervas. "Misfortune?" echoed my aunt in whisper so awful that I, for one, nearly trembled. "Misfortune!" she repeated. "Hush! Silence! Not a word! I must think this over! Misfortune!" In the dreadful pause ensuing, I glanced half-furtively from one to other of my three guardians; at my uncle Jervas, lounging gracefully in his chair, an exquisite work of art from glossy curls to polished Hessians; at my uncle George, standing broad back to the mantel, a graceful, stalwart figure in tight-fitting riding-coat, buckskins and spurred boots; at my wonderful aunt, her dark and statuesque beauty as she sat, her noble form posed like an offended Juno, dimpled chin on dimpled fist, dark brows bent above long-lashed eyes, ruddy lips close-set and arched foot tapping softly beneath the folds of her ample robe. "His misfortune!" she repeated for the fourth time, softly and as to herself. "And ever have I striven to be to him the tender mother he never knew, to stand in place of the father he never saw!" "I'm sure of it, Julia!" said my uncle George, fidgeting with his stock. "His misfortune! And I have watched over him with care unfailing—" "Er—of course, yes—not a doubt of it, Julia," said uncle George, fiddling with a coat button. "His upbringing has been the passion of my life—" "I'm sure of it, Julia, your sweet and—er—womanly nature—" "George, have the goodness not to interrupt!" sighed my aunt, with a little gesture of her hand. "I have furthermore kept him segregated from all that could in any way vitiate or vulgarise; he has had the ablest tutors and been my constant companion, and to-day—I am told—all this is but his misfortune. Now and therefore. Sir Jervas Vereker, pray explain yourself." "Briefly and with joy, m'dear Julia," answered my uncle Jervas, smiling sleepily into my aunt's fierce black eyes. "I simply mean that your meticulous care of our nephew has turned what should have been an ordinary and humanly promising, raucous and impish hobbledehoy into a very precise, something superior, charmingly prim and modest, ladylike young fellow—" "Ladyli—!" My stately aunt came as near gasping as was possible in such a woman, then her stately form grew more rigidly statuesque, her mouth and chin took on that indomitable look I knew so well, and she swept the speaker with the blasting fire of her fine black eyes. "Sir Jervas Vereker!" she exclaimed at last, and in tones of such chilling haughtiness that I, for one, felt very like shivering. There fell another awful silence, aunt Julia sitting very upright, hands clenched on the arms of her chair, dark brows bent against my uncle Jervas, who met her withering glance with all his wonted impassivity, while my uncle George, square face slightly flushed, glanced half-furtively from one to the other and clicked nervous heels together so that his spurs jingled. "George!" exclaimed my aunt suddenly. "In heaven's name, cease rattling your spurs as if you were in your native stables." "Certainly, m'dear Julia!" he mumbled, and stood motionless and abashed. "'Pon me life, Julia," sighed my uncle Jervas, "I swear the years but lend you new graces; time makes you but the handsomer—" "Begad, but that's the very naked truth, Julia!" cried uncle George. "Tush!" exclaimed my aunt, yet her long lashes drooped suddenly. "Your hair is—" said uncle Jervas. "Wonderful!" quoth uncle George. "Always was, begad!" "Tchah!" exclaimed my aunt. "Your hair is as silky," pursued my uncle Jervas, "as abundant and as black as—" "As night!" added uncle George. "A fiddlestick!" exclaimed my aunt. "A raven's wing!" pursued my uncle Jervas. "Time hath not changed the wonder of it—" "Phoh!" exclaimed my aunt. "Devil a white hair to be seen, Julia!" added uncle George. "While as for myself, Julia," sighed my uncle Jervas, "my fellow discovered no fewer than four white hairs above my right ear this morning, alas! And look at poor George—as infernally grey as a badger." "I think," said my aunt, leaning back in her chair, "I think we were discussing my nephew Peregrine—" "Our mutual ward—precisely, Julia." "Aye," quoth uncle George, "we are legal guardians of the lad and—" "Fie, George!" cried aunt Julia. "A vulgar word, an unseemly word!" "Eh? Word, Julia? What word?" "'Lad'!" exclaimed my aunt, frowning. "A most obnoxious word, applicable only to beings with pitchforks and persons in sleeved waistcoats who chew straws and attend to horses. Lads pertain only to your world! Peregrine never was, will, or could be such a thing!" "Good God!" exclaimed my uncle George feebly, and groped for his short, crisp-curling whisker with fumbling fingers. "Peregrine never was, will, or could be such a thing!" repeated my aunt in a tone of finality. "Then what the dev—" "George!" "I should say then—pray, Julia, what the—hum—ha—is he?" "Being my nephew, he is a young gentleman, of course!" "Ha!" quoth my uncle George. "Hum!" sighed my uncle Jervas. "A gentleman is usually a better man for having been a lad! As to our nephew—" "Pray, Jervas," said aunt Julia, lifting white imperious hand, "suffer me one word, at least; in justice to myself I can sit mute no longer—" "Mute?" exclaimed uncle George, grasping whisker again. "Mute, were you, Julia; oh, begad, why then—" "George—silence—I plead!" said my aunt, and folding her white hands demurely on her knee gazed down at them wistfully beneath drooping lashes. "Proceed, Julia," quoth my uncle Jervas, "your voice is music to my soul—" "Mine too!" added uncle George, "mine too, dooce take me if 't isn't!" MY AUNT (her voice soft and plaintively sad). For nineteen happy years I have devoted myself to caring for my nephew Peregrine, body and mind. My every thought has been of him or for him, my love has been his shield against discomforts, bodily ailments and ills of the mind— MY UNCLE JERVAS. And precisely there, Julia, lies his happy misfortune. You have thought for him so effectively he has had small scope to think for himself; cared for him so sedulously that he shall hardly know how to take care of himself; sheltered him so rigorously that, once removed from the sphere of your strong personality, he would be pitifully lost and helpless. In short, he is suffering of a surfeit of love, determined tenderness and pertinacious care—in a word, Julia, he is over-Juliaized! MY UNCLE GEORGE (a little diffidently, and jingling his spurs). B'gad, and there ye have it, sweet soul—d'ye see— MY AUNT (smiting him speechless with flashing eye). I—am—not your sweet soul. And as for poor dear Peregrine— MY UNCLE JERVAS. The poor youth is become altogether too preternaturally dignified, too confounded sober, solemn and sedate for this mundane sphere; he needs more— UNCLE GEORGE. Brimstone and the devil! MY AUNT (freezingly). George Vereker! UNCLE JERVAS. Wholesome ungentleness. UNCLE GEORGE (hazarding the suggestion). An occasional black eye—bloody nose, d'ye see, Julia, healthy bruise or so— MY AUNT. Mr. Vereker! UNCLE GEORGE (groping for whisker). What I mean to say is, Julia, a—ha—hum! (Subsides.) UNCLE JERVAS. George is exactly right, Julia. Our nephew is well enough in many ways, I'll admit, but corporeally he is no Vereker; he fills the eye but meanly— MY AUNT (in tones of icy gloom). Sir Jervas—explain! UNCLE JERVAS. Well, my dear Julia, scan him, I beg; regard him with an observant eye, the eye not of a doting woman but a dispassionate critic—examine him! (Here I sank lower in my great chair.) MY AUNT. If Peregrine is not so—large as your robust self or so burly as—monstrous George, am I to blame? MY UNCLE JERVAS. The adjective robust as applied to myself is, I think, a trifle misplaced. I suggest the word "elegant" instead. MY AUNT (patient and sighful). What have you to remark, George UNCLE GEORGE (measuring me with knowing eye). I should say he would strip devilish—I mean—uncommonly light— MY AUNT (in murmurous horror). Strip? An odious suggestion! Only ostlers, pugilists, and such as yourself, George, would stoop to do such a thing! Oh, monstrous! UNCLE GEORGE (pathetically). No, no, Julia m'dear, you mistake; to "strip" is a term o' the "fancy"—milling, d'ye see—fibbing is a very gentlemanly art, assure you; I went three rounds with the "Camberwell Chicken" before I— My AUNT (scornfully). Have done with your chickens, sir— UNCLE GEORGE (ruefully). B'gad, he nearly did for me—naked mauleys, you'll understand. In— MY AUNT (covers ears). Horrors! this ribaldry, George Vereker! UNCLE GEORGE. O Lord! (Sinks into chair and gloomy silence.) MY UNCLE JERVAS (rising gracefully, taking aunt Julia's indignant hands and kissing them gallantly). George is perfectly right, dear soul. Our Peregrine requires a naked mauley (clenches Aunt Julia's white hand into a fist)—something like this, only bigger and harder—applied to his torso— UNCLE GEORGE. Of course, above the belt, you'll understand, Julia! Now the Camberwell Chicken— MY UNCLE JERVAS. Applied, I say, with sufficient force to awake him to the stern—shall we say the harsh realities of life. AUNT JULIA. Life can be real without sordid brutality. UNCLE JERVAS. Not unless one is blind and deaf, or runs away and hides from his fellows like a coward; for brutality, alas, is a very human attribute and slumbers more or less in each one of us, let us deny it how we will. UNCLE GEORGE. True enough, Jervas, and as you'll remember when I fought the "Camberwell Chicken," my right ogle being closed and claret flowing pretty freely, the crowd afraid of their money— MY AUNT (coldly determined). Enough! My nephew shall never experience such horrors or consort with such brutish ruffians. UNCLE GEORGE. Then he'll never be a man, Julia. MY AUNT. Nature made him that. I intend him for a poet. Here my uncle George rose up, sat down and rose again, striving for speech, while uncle Jervas smiled and dangled his eyeglass. MY UNCLE GEORGE (breathing heavily). That's done it, Jervas, that's one in the wind. A poet! Poor, poor lad. MY AUNT (triumphantly). He has written some charming sonnets, and an ode to a throstle that has been much admired. UNCLE GEORGE (faintly). Ode! B'gad! Throstle! MY UNCLE JERVAS. He trifles with paints and brushes, too, I believe? MY AUNT. Charmingly! He may dazzle the world with a noble picture yet; who knows? MY UNCLE JERVAS. Oh, my dear Julia, who indeed! He has a pronounced aversion for most manly sports, I believe: horses, for instance— MY AUNT. He rides with me occasionally, but as for your inhuman hunting and racing—certainly not! UNCLE GEORGE. And before we were his age, I had broken my collarbone and you had won the county steeplechase from me by a head, Jervas. Ha, that was a race, lad, never enjoyed anything more unless it was when the "Camberwell Chicken" went down and couldn't come up to time and the crowd— AUNT JULIA. You were both so terribly wild and reckless! UNCLE JERVAS. No, my sweet woman, just ordinary healthy young animals. AUNT JULIA. My nephew is a young gentleman. UNCLE GEORGE. Ha! UNCLE JERVAS. H'm! A gentleman should know how to use his fists—there is Sir Peter Vibart, for instance. UNCLE GEORGE. And to shoot straight, Julia. UNCLE JERVAS. And comport himself in the society of the Sex. Yet you keep Peregrine as secluded as a young nun. MY AUNT. He prefers solitude. Love will come later. UNCLE JERVAS. Most unnatural! Before I was Peregrine's age I had been head over ears in and out of love with at least— MY AUNT. Reprobate! UNCLE GEORGE. So had I, Julia. There was Mary—or was it Ann—at least if it wasn't Ann it was Betty or Bessie; anyhow, I know she was— AUNT JULIA. Rake! UNCLE JERVAS. Remember, we were very young and had never been privileged to behold the Lady Julia Conroy— UNCLE GEORGE. Begad, Julia—and there y'have it! MY AUNT. We were discussing my nephew, I think! MY UNCLE JERVAS. True, Julia, and I was about to remark that since you refuse to send him up to Oxford or Cambridge, the only chance I see for him is to quit your apron strings and go out into the world to find his manhood if he can. My aunt turned upon the speaker, handsome head upflung, but, ere she could speak, the grandfather clock in the corner rang the hour in its mellow chime. Thereupon my aunt rose to her stately height and reached out to me her slender, imperious hand. "Peregrine, it is ten o'clock. Good night, dear boy!" said she and kissed me. Thereafter, having kissed the hand that clasped mine, I bowed to my two uncles and went dutifully to bed. CHAPTER IITELLS HOW AND WHY I SET FORTH UPON THE QUEST IN QUESTION"Ladylike!" said I to myself, leaning forth from my chamber window into a fragrant summer night radiant with an orbed moon. But for once I was heedless of the ethereal beauty of the scene before me and felt none of that poetic rapture that would otherwise undoubtedly have inspired me, since my vision was turned inwards rather than out and my customary serenity hatefully disturbed. "Ladylike!" Thus, all unregarding, I breathed the incense of flowery perfumes and stared blindly upon the moon's splendour, pondering this hateful word in its application to myself. And gradually, having regard to the manifest injustice and bad taste of the term, conscious of the affront it implied, I grew warm with a righteous indignation that magnified itself into a furious anger against my two uncles. "Damn them! Damn them both!" exclaimed I and, in that moment, caught my breath, shocked, amazed, and not a little ashamed at this outburst, an exhibition so extremely foreign to my usually placid nature. 'To swear is a painful exhibition of vulgarity, and passion uncontrolled lessens one's dignity and is a sign of weakness.' Remembering this, one of my wonderful aunt's incontrovertible maxims, I grew abashed (as I say) by reason of this my deplorable lapse. And yet: "'Ladylike!'" I repeated the opprobrious epithet for the third time and scowled up at the placid moon. And this, merely because I had a shrinking horror of all brutal and sordid things, a detestation for anything smacking of vulgarity or bad taste. To me, the subtle beauty of line or colour, the singing music of a phrase, were of more account than the reek of stables or the whooping clamour and excitement of the hunting-field, my joys being rather raptures of the soul than the more material pleasures of the flesh. "And was it," I asked myself, "was it essential to exchange buffets with a 'Camberwell Chicken,' to shoot and be shot at, to spur sweating and unwilling horses over dangerous fences—were such things truly necessary to prove one's manhood? Assuredly not! And yet—'Ladylike!'" Moved by a sudden impulse I turned from the lattice to the elegant luxuriousness of my bedchamber, its soft carpets, rich hangings and exquisite harmonies of colour; and coming before the cheval mirror I stood to view and examine myself as I had never done hitherto, surveying my reflection not with the accustomed eyes of Peregrine Vereker, but rather with the coldly appraising eyes of a stranger, and beheld this: A youthful, slender person of no great stature, clothed in garments elegantly unostentatious. His face grave and of a saturnine cast—but the features fairly regular. His complexion sallow—but clear and without blemish. His hair rather too long—but dark and crisp-curled. His brow a little too prominent—but high and broad. His eyes dark and soft—but well-opened and direct. His nose a little too short to please me—but otherwise well-shaped. His mouth too tender in its curves—but the lips close and firm. His chin too smoothly rounded, at a glance—but when set, looks determined enough. His whole aspect not altogether unpleasing, though I yearned mightily to see him a few inches taller. Thus then I took dispassionate regard to, and here as dispassionately set down, my outer being; as to my inner, that shall appear, I hope, as this history progresses. I was yet engaged on this most critical examination of my person when I was interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the flagged terrace beneath my open window and the voices of my two uncles as they passed slowly to and fro, each word of their conversation very plain to hear upon the warm, still air. Honour should have compelled me to close my ears or the lattice; had I done so, how different might this history have been, how utterly different my career. As it was, attracted by the sound of my own name, I turned from contemplation of my person and, coming to the window, leaned out again. "Poor Peregrine," said my uncle George for the second time. "Why the pity, George? Curse and confound it, wherefore the pity? Our youth is a perfect ass, an infernal young fish, a puppy-dog—pah!" "Aye, but," quoth my uncle George (and I could distinguish the faint jingle of his spurs), "we roasted him devilishly to-night between us, Jervas, and never a word out o' the lad—" "Egad, Julia did the talking for him—" "Ha, yes—dooce take me, she did so!" exclaimed uncle George. "What an amazingly magnificent creature she is—" "And did ye mark our youth's cool insolence, his disdainful airs—the cock of his supercilious nose—curst young puppy!" "Most glorious eyes in Christendom," continued my uncle George, "always make me feel so dooced—er—so curst humble—no, humble's not quite the word; what I do mean is—" "Fatuous, George?" suggested Uncle Jervas a trifle impatiently. "Unworthy—yes, unworthy and er—altogether dooced, d'ye see—her whole life one of exemplary self-sacrifice and so forth, d'ye see, Jervas—" "Exactly, George! Julia will never marry, we know, while she has this precious youth to pet and pamper and cherish—" "Instead of us, Jervas!" "Us? George, don't be a fool! She couldn't wed us both, man!" "Why, no!" sighed uncle George. "She'd ha' to be content wi' one of us, to be sure, and that one would be—" "Myself, George!" "Aye!" quoth uncle George, sighing more gustily than ever. "Begad, I think it would, Jervas." "Though, mark me, George, I have sometimes thought she has the preposterous lack of judgment to prefer you." "No—did you though!" exclaimed my uncle George, spurs jingling again. "Aye, George, I did, but only very occasionally. Of course, were she free of this incubus Peregrine, free to live for her own happiness instead of his, I should have her wedded and wifed while you were thinking about it." "Aye," sighed my uncle George, "you were always such an infernal dasher—" "As it is, the boy will grow into a priggish, self-satisfied do-nothing, and she into an adoring, solitary old woman—" "Julia! An old woman! Good God! Hush, Jervas—it sounds dooced indecent!" "But true, George, devilish true! Here's Julia must grow into a crotchety old female, myself into a solitary, embittered recluse, and you into a lonely, doddering old curmudgeon—and all for sake of this damned lad—" At this, stirred by sudden impulse, I thrust my head out of the window and hemmed loudly, whereupon they halted very suddenly and stood staring up at me, their surprised looks plain to see by reason of the brilliant moon. "Pardon me, my dear uncles," said I, bowing to them as well as I might, "pardon me, but I venture to think not—" "Now 'pon me everlasting soul!" exclaimed my uncle Jervas, fumbling for his eyeglass. "What does the lad mean?" "With your kind attention, he will come down and explain," said I, and clambering through the casement, I descended forthwith, hand over hand, by means of the ivy stems that grew very thick and strong hereabouts. Reaching the terrace, I paused to brush the dust from knee and elbow while my uncle Jervas, lounging against the balustrade, viewed me languidly through his glass, and uncle George stared at me very round of eye and groped at his close-trimmed whisker. "Sirs," said I, glancing from one to other, "I regret that I should appear to you as a 'fish,' a 'puppy' and a 'self-satisfied do-nothing,' but I utterly refuse to be considered either an 'incubus' or a 'damned lad'!" "Oh, the dooce!" ejaculated uncle George. "To the which end," I proceeded, "I propose to remove myself for a while—let us say for six months or thereabouts—on a condition." "Remove yourself, nephew?" repeated uncle Jervas, peering at me a little more narrowly. "Pray where?" "Anywhere, sir. I shall follow the wind, tramp the roads, consort with all and sundry, open the book of Life and endeavour to learn of man by man himself." "Very fine!" said my uncle Jervas,—"and damned foolish!" "In a word," I continued, "I propose to follow your very excellent advice, Uncle Jervas, and go out into the world to find my manhood if I can! That was your phrase, I think?" "Ah, and when, may I ask?" "At once, sir. But, as I said before—on a condition." "Hum!" quoth my uncle Jervas, dropping his glass to tenderly stroke his somewhat too prominent chin. "And might we humbly venture to enquire as to the condition?" "Merely this, sir; so soon as Aunt Julia is freed of her incubus—so soon as I am gone—you will see to it she is not lonely. You will woo her, beginning at once, both together or turn about, because I would not have her—this best, this noblest and most generous of women—forfeit anything of happiness on my account; because, having neither father nor mother that I ever remember, the love and reverence that should have been theirs I have given to her." "Lord!" exclaimed my uncle George, clashing his spurs suddenly. "Lord love the lad—begad—oh, the dooce!" As for uncle Jervas, forgetting his languor, he stood suddenly erect, frowning, his chin more aggressive than ever. "You haven't been drinking, have you, Peregrine?" he demanded. "No, sir!" "Then you must be mad!" "I think not, sir. Howbeit, I shall go!" "Preposterousandamridiculous!" he exclaimed in a breath. "Possibly, sir!" quoth I, squaring my shoulders resolutely. "But my mind is resolved—" "Julia—your aunt, will never permit such tom-fool nonsense, boy!" "I am determined, sir!" said I, folding my arms. "I go for her sake—her future happiness—" "Happiness?" cried my uncle George, pulling at his whisker, "'t would break her heart, Perry; she'd grieve, boy, aye, begad she would—she'd grieve, as I say, and—grieve, d'ye see—" "Then you must comfort her—you or Uncle Jervas, or both! Woo her, win her whoever can, only make her happy—that happiness she has denied herself for my sake, all these years. This you must do—it is for this I am about to sacrifice the joy of her companionship, the gentle quiet and luxury of home to pit myself, alone and friendless, against an alien world. This, my dear uncles," said I, finding myself not a little moved as I concluded, "this is my prayer, that, through one of you she may find a greater happiness than has ever been hers hitherto." "Tush, boy!" murmured my uncle Jervas, lounging gracefully against the balustrade of the terrace again, "Tush and fiddle-de-dee! If you have done with these heroics, let us get to our several beds like common-sense beings," and he yawned behind a white and languid hand. His words stung me, I will own; but it was not so much these that wrought me to sudden, cold fury, as that contemptuous yawn. Even as I stood mute with righteous indignation, all my finer feelings thus wantonly outraged, he yawned again. "Come, Peregrine," he mumbled sleepily, "come you in to bed, like a sensible lad." "Uncle Jervas," said I, smiling up at him as contemptuously as possible, "I will see you damned first!" "Good God!" exclaimed my uncle George, and letting go his whisker he fell back a step, staring down at me as if he had never seen me before in all his life. Uncle Jervas, on the contrary, regarded me silently awhile, then I saw his grim lips twitch suddenly and he broke into a peal of softly modulated laughter. "Our sucking dove can roar, it seems, George—our lamb can bellow on occasion. On me soul, I begin to hope we were perhaps a trifle out in our estimation of him. There was an evil word very well meant and heartily expressed!" And he laughed again; then his long arm shot out, though whether to cuff or pat my head I do not know nor stayed to enquire, for, eluding that white hand, I vaulted nimbly over the balustrade and, from the flower bed below, bowed to him with a flourish. "Uncle Jervas," said I, "pray observe that I bow to your impertinence, by reason of your age; may God mend your manners, sir! Uncle George, farewell. Uncles both, heaven teach you to be some day more worthy my loved aunt Julia!" Saying which, I turned and strode resolutely away across the shadowy park, not a little pleased with myself. I was close upon the gates that opened upon the high road when, turning for one last look at the great house that had been my home, I was amazed and somewhat disconcerted to find my two uncles hastening after me; hotfoot they came, at something betwixt walk and run, their long legs covering the ground with remarkable speed. Instinctively I began to back away and was deliberating whether or not to cast dignity to the winds and take to my heels outright, when my uncle George hailed me, and I saw he flourished a hat the which I recognised as my own. "Hold hard a minute, Perry!" he called, spurs jingling with his haste. "My good uncles," I called, "you are two to one—two very large, ponderous men; pray excuse me therefore if I keep my distance." "My poor young dolt," quoth uncle Jervas a trifle breathlessly, "we merely desire a word with you—" "Aye, just a word, Perry!" cried uncle George. "Besides, we've brought your hat and coat, d'ye see." "You have no other purpose?" I enquired, maintaining my rearward movement. "Dammit—no!" answered uncle Jervas. "Word of honour!" cried uncle George. At this I halted and suffered them to approach nearer. "You do not meditate attempting the futility of force?" I demanded. "We do not!" said uncle Jervas. "Word of honour!" cried uncle George. "On the contrary," continued uncle Jervas, handing me my silver-buttoned, frogged surtout, "I for one heartily concur and commend your decision in so far as concerns yourself—a trifle of hardship is good for youth and should benefit you amazingly, nephew—" "B'gad, yes!" nodded uncle George. "Fine thing, hardship—if not too hard. So we thought it well to see that you did not go short of the—ah—needful, d'ye see." "Needful, sir?" I enquired. "Rhino, lad—chink, my boy!" "Ha, to be sure," sighed uncle Jervas, noting my bewilderment. "These coarse metaphors are but empty sounds in your chaste ears, nephew—brother George is trying to say money. Do you happen to have a sufficiency of such dross about you, pray?" A search of my various pockets resulted in the discovery of one shilling and a groat. "Precisely as I surmised," nodded my uncle Jervas, "having had your every possible want supplied hitherto, money is a sordid vulgarity you know little about, yet, if you persist in adventuring your precious person into the world of men and action, you will find money a somewhat useful adjunct. In this purse are some twelve guineas or so—" here he thrust the purse into the right-hand pocket of my coat. "And six in this, Perry!" said uncle George, thrusting his purse into my left pocket. "So here are eighteen-odd guineas," quoth uncle Jervas, "a paltry and most inadequate sum, perhaps, but these should last you a few days—with care, or at least until, wearying of hardship, you steal back into the silken lap of luxury." "And look 'ee, Perry lad," added uncle George, clapping me on the shoulder and eyeing me a little anxiously, "come back soon, boy—soon, d'ye see—" "He will, George, he will!" nodded uncle Jervas. "He looks damnably solitary, somehow, Jervas." "And small, George." "Sirs," said I, "for my lack of size, blame nature. As to loneliness—'my mind to me my kingdom is,' and one peopled by a thousand loved friends, or of what avail the reading of books?" "Books? M—yes, precisely!" quoth my uncle George, ruffling up his thick curls and eyeing me askance. "But what are we to tell your aunt Julia?" "Nothing, sir. At the first inn I stop at I will write her fully regarding my departure and future plans—" "But—oh, curse it. Perry," exclaimed uncle George, fumbling for his whisker, "she'll be sure to blame us, aye, she will so, b'gad d'ye see—" "Not when she reads my letter, sir. Indeed I feel—nay, I know that my absence will but serve to draw you nearer together, all three, and I look forward with assured hope to seeing her happily wedded to—to one or other of you when—when I return—" "Lord love me!" "Now on me immortal soul!" exclaimed my two uncles in one breath. "My dear sirs," I continued, "I have long suspected your passion for my peerless aunt, nor do I venture to blame you—" "Blame, b'gad!" exclaimed my uncle George faintly. "To-night I chanced to overhear words pass between you that put the matter beyond doubt—" "Impertinent young eavesdropper!" exclaimed my uncle Jervas, very red in the face. "Thus, in taking my departure, I can but wish you every happiness. But before I go, I would beg of you to satisfy me on a point of family history—if you will. My parents died young, I believe?" "They did!" answered my uncle Jervas in strangely repressed voice. "Very young!" sighed my uncle George. "And what—how came they to die?" I questioned. "Your mother died of—a broken heart, Peregrine," said uncle Jervas. "Sweet child!" added uncle George. "Then I pray that God in His mercy has mended it long ere this," said Here my two uncles exchanged looks as though a little at a loss. "Has your aunt never told you?" enquired my uncle Jervas. "Never, sir! And her distress forbade my questioning more than the once. But you are men and so I ask you how did your brother and my father die?" "Shot in a duel, lad, killed on the spot!" said my uncle George, and I saw his big hand clench itself into a quivering fist. "They fought in a little wood not so far from here—such a lad he was—our fag at school, d'ye see. I remember they carried him up these very steps—and the sun so bright—and he had scarcely begun to live—" "And the bullet that slew him," added my uncle Jervas, "just as surely killed your mother also." "Yes!" said I. "And whose hand sped that bullet?" "He is dead!" murmured my uncle Jervas, gazing up at the placid moon. "Aye—he died abroad," added uncle George, "Brussels, I think, or "And—out of reach!" murmured uncle Jervas, still apparently lost in contemplation of the moon. "As to yourself, dear, foolish lad," said uncle George, laying his hand upon my shoulder, "if go you will, come back soon! And should you meet trouble—need a friend—any assistance, d'ye see, you can always find me at the Grange." "Or a letter to me, Peregrine, directed to my chambers in St. James's Street, will always bring you prompt advice in any difficulty and, what is better, perhaps—money. Moreover, should you wish to see the town or aspire socially, you will find I can be of some small service—" "My dear uncles," I exclaimed, grasping their hands in turn, "for this kind solicitude God bless you both again and—good-bye!" So saying, I turned (somewhat hastily) and went my way; but after I had gone some distance I glanced back to behold them watching me, motionless and side by side; hereupon, moved by their wistful attitude, I forgot my dignity and, whipping off my hat, I flourished it to them above my head ere a bend in the drive hid them from my view. |