 
JOHN EYERMAN NEW YORK The fabric of this tale is based largely upon the use of Book-Titles, and the names, several names in connection, or expressions in CAPITALS, which indicate these titles, should in no way interfere with the continuous reading of the story. No Title, of either one or more words, is used more than once, unless such title is represented by more than one Author. Approximately, Nine Hundred Book-Titles have been used. No Literary Merit is claimed for this Tale, as none has been attempted. The following Letter explains itself:
Dear Eyerman: When we were talking the other night at MRS. PERKIN'S BALL, I was just about to ask you a favor, when OUR MUTUAL FRIEND, ADDISON, with his usual lack of GOOD FORM FOR ALL OCCASIONS, decided to fasten himself to us: AFTERWARD, AT THE CASA NAPOLEON, THE AMERICANS tied me up. I am glad to say that I am now FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWDS, and VILETTE, THE BEAUTIFUL WRETCH that she is, has urged me to write you. When Scarlett's eye-troubles began he decided to amuse himself by dictating to MISS MARJORIBANKS, THE STORY OF MY LIFE, as he called it * * * * Ten days ago, and to my AMAZEMENT, he was ordered to INDIA and his work is not completed, and I am no good at that kind of thing. I want YOU to undertake the WORK, and Scarlett wants you too. Don't refuse, please. Present or absent, I trust, my dear fellow, that you will think of me always as your sincere friend.
My PRINTERS have informed me that ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, it will be best to omit the Introduction, as it is "NOT IN IT" with the tale, WHICH was to have followed. NOW, at first, I considered this all STUFF AND NONSENSE, for I am sure I know MORE about CLEVER TALES, than they do about printed MATTER, and I believe that I am considered one of the best DESCRIPTIVE WRITERS in GREAT BRITAIN, and certainly can write SKETCHES AND STORIES; however, "IT'S UP TO YOU," but when the printers told me that the question would be asked "WHO WROTE THAT?" to be followed by the remark "IT'S GREAT TO BE CRAZY," I decided that as MY BROTHER AND I are PALS FIRST, FOR HIS SAKE, the Introduction, AS A MATTER OF COURSE, must be omitted. |
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