After a short stay in Keighley, my roving nature again asserted itself, and I set off on a tramping expedition, with two companions, in to Lancashire. Going over The Moss we were overtaken by a severe thunderstorm, and were soon drenched to the skin by the torrential fall of rain. We made some attempt to dry our clothes at the Monkroyd Tavern, a hostelry immortalised by the Lancashire poets, and then pushed on to Colne, where we were accommodated at the club-house until morning, when I made my way to Burnley. It was there I fell in with my old friend Dave Hey. I obtained a situation in Burnley at a sizing establishment occupied by Mr Alfred Lee, and retained it for seven weeks, by which time I had got thoroughly disgusted with Lancashire life. The people I came across seemed to me to be about forty years behind Keighley folk in many particulars, but especially in regard to dress and general mode of living. So that when I got back to Keighley I resolved in my mind that I would not stir out of the town again.

LOCAL ELECTION EPISODES

On my return I found the town “involved in the trouble and turmoil” of its first Town Council election. I interested myself in the election campaign, and attended a meeting which was held in the West-lane Primitive Methodist School, was in support of the candidature of Messrs W. Mann, I. Emmott, and J. Walsh, for the West Ward. In all there were seven competitors for the three seats in this ward, and in addition to those mentioned there were the other candidates present. I plied each candidate with questions, until one Thomas Hey made a proposition that I should be put out of the meeting if I did not cease asking questions. I insisted on my right to question the candidates, and told Mr Hey that I had only to give the word to my “supporters” behind me and he, instead of me, would find himself ignominiously carried out of the room. The meeting was in such a state of confusion that it was closed without a vote as to the fitness of the candidates being taken. On another occasion the late Mr James Leach, and Bill Spink and myself were the chief means of getting the poor rates put on the property owners. We had a vestry meeting called, and by drumming up our “party” were able to carry the vote.

BOYCOTTED!

For this action Spink and I were time after time subjected to boycotting by aggrieved property owners. Spink had to live in no less than three houses in as many months; as soon as the new landlord found out who his new tenant was—and the word was carefully passed along—poor Spink had to “flit.” Finally, however, he managed to get into a house where he could stop. I, also, had to suffer similarly, though not as severely. In return, we practised a system of annoying the public authorities whenever they required a servant by sending in applications.

I APPLY FOR SITUATION AS WORKHOUSE MASTER

When advertisements were out for a master at the Workhouse, I sent in an application along with thirty-nine others. Mr J. W. Laycock was the chairman of the Board. He objected to my application being read, but Mr T. Middlebrook and other members challenged his view, and said the application must be read. It was somewhat as follows:—“Gentlemen of the Board of Guardians.—In applying for the situation of Workhouse master I can assure you that I feel competent for the situation, seeing that I have had much to do with all classes and kinds of people in my travels—both high and low, rich and poor. I know, gentlemen, that you could not do better than engage me, as I have ben so used to living on low commons that I could keep the paupers at 1s 3d per head, whereas you boast about keeping them at 2s 8d or 2s 9d per head. You sit down to a sumptuous dinner, with salmon, &c., every Board day, Mr Leach informs me, for which you pay 1s per head. Now, I think I could provide you with a sumptuous dinner at 3d per head, and I should want that allowance for a little tobacco. It is not, I can assure you, gentlemen, a question of wages, but one of sheer honour that prompts me to apply for the situation of master of the Keighley Workhouse. If this suits your notice, you can reply by return of post.—Your humble servant, Bill o’ th’ Hoylus End.” But I was not appointed; and it is perhaps unnecessary to say that I did not intend to be appointed. My application caused much amusement and stir in the town. After this, Spink and I kept the ball rolling, and one of us applied for almost every public or semi-public office where we thought we could cause a little annoyance to the property owners, &c., on the Boards. Among other posts I applied for were those of nuisances inspector and School Boards curator.

“THE POOR MAN’S LAWYER”

It was during the long spell of spare time that I had on my hands that I became a sort of poor man’s lawyer, though I had not, I must say, passed the requisite examination. Scores of people, mostly belonging to the Irish part of the town, put their confidence in me, telling me secrets which it would not be wise for me to disclose. This business included a great variety of subjects and things. But disputes as to insurance and club money were the most numerous. Many were the insurance agents and collectors I was brought in contact with, among them being the late Mr O’Connell.

I TURN INVENTOR

I next turned inventor, and met with some success. I had always had an idea for invention and novelty, wanting to wear a different kind of clothes, and dress my warps different from anybody else. It was in company with Mr William Greenwood that I invented a warp-slaying machine. This we sold to Mr R. L. Hattersley. I also invented a patent wax for use in warp-dressing and weaving. This, I intended, should supersede Stephenson’s paraffin wax, and that it would have done, I feel sure, had it been properly placed in the market; but of all people in the world there is none like a druggist for squeezing profit out of his wares. He will either have 11½d profit in every shilling’s worth of goods or “perish in the attempt.” I disposed of my rights in this patent to a gentleman who is now in Australia. I also turned my attention to producing many other little inventions.