  SCENE.—Same as in Act I. Sleigh bells heard in distance coming nearer, until they stop at C.; Santa Claus enters C., followed by Gussie and preceded by Footman. Gus. Your majesty has returned. You are even more prompt than usual. No one would suspect that those venerable whiskers of yours had been silvered by the frosts of many hundreds of winters. Santa. No, Gus my boy, time has no power to dampen the ardor of old Santa Claus, nor to make him the less able to perform his self-appointed duties. But that reminds me Gus.; last night my daughter made a strange request. You heard it did you not? Gus. Yes, your majesty, I heard it, and thought it strange that you should make the promise that you did. Santa. And so it was, and would have been much worse than strange had not a happy thought struck me with a force like unto a hod of falling bricks. Gus. In other words, you had an idea. Santa. Right you are; and as a reward for your years of faithful service I propose to share it with you. Gus. (aside) I wish his idea would take the form of an increase in my salary. Ten dollars a month scarce suffices to keep me in raiment befitting my noble birth and high position, doncherno. Santa. What were you saying, Gus? Gus. I was saying, your majesty, that I would indeed be proud to share your first idea with you. Santa. Well then, this is the scheme: I have brought back with me a man as green as the green isle from which he came, a regular Paddy of the old school. My daughter, having seen no men but you and me, will conclude that he is one of the choicest specimens of his species, and will thus be disenchanted. Gus. The scheme looks well upon the face of it; I only hope that it may conclude even as your majesty wishes. Santa. You hope that it may work! Why sir, it must work! Think of the position I would be in should my daughter ever marry! In six short months or less, my son-in-law would have my throne and I would lose my job; mayhaps, shorn of my kingly robes, be slinging hash to earn my daily bread. Gus. Well now, that’s clevah, deucedly clevah, by Jove. Santa. What is that? Clever, did you say? Gus. I mean, your majesty, that it was very clevah of you to extricate yourself from such a trying situation. Santa. Oh! yes, that’s different; and now I will proceed to unfold my plans to you. Gus. Proceed by all means. Santa. I have ordered the terrier to be brought into this room, and have also requested that my daughter come here. We will conceal ourselves and enjoy her astonishment at her first meeting with her man. O’Rourke. Can’t yez let go av me arrums, yez miserable dagos? Do yez think Oi can’t walk alone at all, at all? Santa. Ah! there he comes. Now then. Enter, O’Rourke L., with Footman and Coachman holding to his arms. O’Rourke. Come now, yeez hand-organ aristocrats, lave go me arrums. (Footman and Coachman bow to him and exit, C.) (O’Rourke shivering) Oh moy, oh moy, Oi don’t know whether this is an oice-crame saloon or a refrigerator car, but wan thing Oi do know, an’ that same is that this overcoat of moine is too foine for me prisint station in loife. (sees bell-rope) Helloa, phwat’s that? Oi think Oi’ll give her a pull and see if it won’t turrun on the stame. (pulls rope, great noise heard off L., O’Rourke terrified) Oh Oi say now, phwat a commiseration Oi’ve created, to be share. Enter, Footman, C. Oh, get out av this, get out av this! You little spalpeen; can’t yez lave me alone at all, at all. Foot. I have answered the bell sir, what is your wish? O’Rourke. (aside) Oh, Oi see, he has come to take my order. (aloud) Oi say, send me up a ton of coal and a match; do yez moind? Foot. We have no coal, sir. O’Rourke. Will yez listen to that now! Yez have no coal, is it? Thin phwat do yez do for a foire, say now? Foot. We use no fire, sir; we do not feel the cold. O’Rourke. Yez don’t feel the could? Well thin, Oi do just that same. Yez can take moi ordher for a suit of clothes if yez plaze, sor. Well, what a quare set of crathures these are to be sure, and what a quare fix yez has got yerself into, McGinnins ould bye. Lasht night I was promenading down the streets of me native city whin suddintly biz—whiz—siz—and along came a sleigh pulled by six milch cows with forked horruns and a little man insoide all covered over with whiskirs. Thin out jumped thim little Frinch dagos, took hould of moi arrums and chucked me into that sleigh so quick Oi couldn’t draw moi breath; it’s down at the Bank yet. Oh, if Oi’d only had moi good shillelah then; Oi’d have cracked them wance or twice so Oi would. Thin, biz—whiz—siz—again, and here Oi am in a lodging house where they don’t have no foire and don’t feel the could. Oh moi, oh moi, Oi’ll have to keep circulatin’ around or Oi’ll be an oiceberg, so I will. Enter, Kitty, C., unobserved by O’Rourke and watches him for a time. Kitty. What are you doing there? O’Rourke. (still dancing and not looking around) Kaping warrum to be coorse. Did yez think Oi was saying moi prayers? Kitty. Are you a man? O’Rourke. Av coorse Oi’m a man. Phwat did yez take me for, a statty of Venus? Kitty. Then you must be the man my papa was to bring me. O’Rourke. Yis, Oi’m yer man. (stops dancing and looks at her) Why, begorra it’s a girrul! How do you do, Miss Cleveland? Kitty. My name is not Cleveland, sir: My name is Kitty Claus; I am the daughter of Santa Claus. O’Rourke. Was that him what tore me away from moi home and kindred last noight? Kitty. I suppose so. O’Rourke. Then, Miss Claus, Oi shall have yer father prosecuted for cruelty to animals. That’s phwat Oi will. (motions Kitty to come nearer) Come here, now, come here, come here. (Kitty comes to his side, O’Rourke in a stage whisper says) Do yez chew gum? Kitty. No sir, my mamma says I mustn’t. O’Rourke. Well now, that’s a good girrul. Here is a penny; go to the blacksmith’s and get a bun. Say, do you play on the type-writer? Kitty. Play on the type-writer? O’Rourke. To be coorse. Kitty. What is that? I never saw a type-writer. O’Rourke. Never saw a type-writer? Oh moi child, moi child, Oi fear your musical eddication has been sadly neglected. Kitty. I hope not, sir. I can sing quite well; at least so my papa says. Shall I sing for you? O’Rourke. Yis, sing to me. Kitty. What shall I sing? O’Rourke. Oh, Oi don’t, care; anything but “Marguerite.” Kitty. Well then, how would you like to hear “The Song That Reached My Heart?” O’Rourke. Oh, don’t do that, don’t do that. Oi’ve got the toothache. Kitty. You are hard to please, sir; but if you do not care to hear the song that reached my heart, I will sing you one of my own composition, written upon a theme which is nearest my heart, “The Pleasure of Catching a Man.” Kitty sings THE PLEASURE OF CATCHING A MAN. Music, “McSarley’s Most Elegant Twins.” O’Rourke. That’s a foine song, to be sure; beautiful sentiment and all that, but are you really in earnest about this matter? Kitty. Indeed I am. O’Rourke. Thin how would yez loike to become Mrs. O’Rourke? Kitty. (running toward him) Oh! do you really mean—(turning away) er—er—this is so sudden—you must give me time to think. O’Rourke. “Think it over!” Yes, an’ whoile yez is thinkin’ it over Oi’ll be sthandin’ here frazin’ to death. Yez’ll have to do yer thinkin’ purty quick Miss Claus, or yez’ll be a widdy before yez is married, so you will. Kitty. Are you really cold, dear? Why of course you are; how stupid of me to forget that you are not used to such a rigorous climate and those clothes of yours are hardly the proper thing for this frigid zone. I suppose you did not have time to change your clothes. O’Rourke. To be coorse Oi didn’t have toime to get a shave even. (strokes whiskers) Bad cess to that father of yours. Kitty. Poor man, how you must suffer. Come with me. I will have the court tailor take your measure for a suit of furs and the servants shall see that you are provided with a fire. O’Rourke. Kitty, yez is a good girrul; but Oi say, would yez moind sinding up a ham and some hen-fruit. Kitty. Hen-fruit? O’Rourke. Yis, some eggs, you know. Kitty. Oh! of course not. You shall have something to eat at once. O’Rourke. (aside) McGinnis ould bye, yer in luck this toime to be sure. What a pity it is we can’t all be borrun with silver spoons in our pockets. Jist look at me now! Oi’m goin’ to have a shquare meal, a shute of clothes and perhaps a woife, and whin Oi get her Oi’m goin’ right back to ould Erin and—(stops to think) Ah! there’s the rub. How am Oi goin’ to get back to Erin? (aloud) Well Kitty, Oi’m with yez whoile the grub lashts. Santa Claus and Gussie come from behind throne. Gus. Well now, that’s clevah, deucedly clevah! Santa. Oh Gussie! Gussie! Would you add insult to injury by mocking a poor old man whose only daughter is about to break her father’s heart by becoming the wife of a potato-masher? Gus. Pardon me, your majesty, but the potato-masher seems to have crushed us very successfully. He has quite a fetching way with the ladies too. I couldn’t have managed that little romance better myself. Santa. But what is to be done to avert this dreadful calamity? Gus. Send the terrier away, of course. Santa. Impossible! The man would die of cold and hunger. You seem to forget, Gussie, that we are surrounded with ice and snow, piled mountain-high. How many brave explorers from the land of mortals have lost their lives in the attempt to penetrate the mysteries of the North Pole. Gus. But can you not take the man away as you brought him here? Santa. Have you also forgotten that one of the conditions of my becoming immortal and the Christmas Saint was that I was not to leave these icy fastnesses but once each year? I can not take this man away until next year on Christmas Eve, in that time who knows what dreadful things may happen? Gus. Your majesty, give me leave to think. Santa. Yes, Gussie, think! think! I know not if dudes have a thinker, but if you have thinks to think, prepare to think them now Gussie, prepare to think them now. (Santa drops in chair at table overcome by emotion, while Gussie walks up and down the room in comical attitude of thinking.) Your thinker seems to be working rather slowly, Gussie; time is very precious to me now. Gus. I have it! Santa. Good! What is it? Gus. It is a plan to circumvent this Hibernian rogue, a very simple plan, but clever, deucedly clever and reflects great credit upon it’s author. Santa. Gussie, if your plan succeeds, I’ll raise your salary to $12.00 a month. Gus. I hear some one approaching. I will not have time to explain my plan in detail, but you must promise to make no objection to any of my actions while I am carrying the plan out, and I assure you all will be right in the end. Enter, O’Rourke, R. U. E. Santa. (hesitating) I will do as you wish. O’Rourke advances forward looking admiringly at himself in a new suit of clothes. O’Rourke. Begorra, it’s a foine display Oi’m makin’ now. Oi’m a worker from Cork so Oi am, and—(sees Gussie) Oh! take it away, take it away! Gus. This is Mr. O’Rourke, I believe. I must take the liberty of introducing myself. I am Gussie de Smythe, Grand Illustrious Scribe and Supreme Confidential Clerk to his Majesty, Santa Claus, Ruler of the Kingdom of the North Pole. O’Rourke. (aside) He looks like a grand illustrated squib from “Puck.” (aloud) Oi say, could you say that again and say it real slow? You ought to be more careful about makin’ payple acquainted wid doubtful characters. Howsomever, Oi don’t moind a little thing loike that in a could counthry loike this. Oi’m quite fond of curiosities moiself, so Oi am. Gus. Sir, this unseemly levity is far from being as clevah as you suppose, in fact it is quite the contrary, doncherno; but to proceed to business—you know the purpose for which you were brought here, do you not? O’Rourke. Well thin, Oi don’t jist that same; Oi don’t know nawthin’ about it at all, at all an’ that’s phwat’s the matter with me, so it is. Gus. Then I can enlighten you upon that point. You were brought here to ascend the throne and become the successor of Santa Claus as ruler of the Kingdom of the North Pole. O’Rourke. You don’t say; an’ how much will Oi git fur that job now? Gus. Oh! you will have this beautiful palace, innumerable servants and countless wealth at your disposal. O’Rourke. But how about the wurruk? Phwat’s moy hours? Gus. You will have no work to do, nothing to do but sit on your throne and make laws for the government of your Kingdom. A monarch is never supposed to do anything for himself; there will be hosts of servants at hand to do your bidding; and I, as your private secretary, will ever be at your side ready to carry out your desires as soon, or even before, they are expressed. O’Rourke. All roight, Oi’ll go you wan for luck. Begorra this job is ace and joker ahead of the perlice force. Gus. I am glad that you are willing to assume the responsibilities of the office sir. No time need be lost; we will proceed with the coronation ceremonies at once. O’Rourke. The corneration ceremonies? An’ phwat might them same be now? Gus. You shall soon see. I have summoned all of the royal household, including Santa Claus himself; he will renounce his title and the throne, and will publicly proclaim you king with the title of Santa Claus the II. O’Rourke struts up and down the stage arranging his collar and tie. Santa Claus enters L. U. E., with Mrs. Claus and Kitty on either arm; comes down stage L., followed by the Holidays; Fairies enter R. U. E.; Footman and Coachman enter C., and stand on each side of the door. O’Rourke. Ah! there’s Kitty. Swate girrul, that Kitty. Oi say, Kitty, ain’t Oi a darlint in my new suit of clothes? Kitty. You are indeed a charming creature, Mr. O’Rourke. Are you for sale? O’Rourke. Oi don’t know. Oi’ll come hoigh if Oi am. Oi’m the only wan av me that’s left. Gussie takes position in front, clears his throat and makes a few preliminary gestures as if preparing to make a speech. Gus. Friends, Romans, Countrymen— O’Rourke. Naw you don’t! Naw you don’t! You don’t borry anything from me at all, at all. Gus. (ignoring the interruption) I have summoned you here to witness the coronation ceremonies of Mr. McGinnis O’Rourke, whom I now proclaim King of the North Pole with the title of Santa Claus II. Santa. (going over to Gussie and speaking angrily) What are you saying, sir? This is treason! Do you hear? Treason! O’Rourke. Do yez hear that now? Oi’m going to be King, so Oi am; and Kitty, you shall be moy bride and do me washin’. You’re a princess now Oi belave, but Oi’m going to make yez a rale queen. Do yez hear, Kitty moy darlint? A rale queen and you shall have a new piece of gum ivery day, so you shall. Mrs. C. What is that dreadful man saying? Come Kitty my child, you must not stay here to be insulted in this way. Santa. (speaking aloud as he returns to his wife’s side) All right, Gussie, my boy; but be careful, be very careful. Gus. Well, Mr. O’Rourke, are you prepared to take the coronation oath? O’Rourke. No sir! Oi niver shware. Oi’m not abducted to the use av profanity in any forrum sir. Gus. Well, I suppose the taking of the oath would be a useless formality in your case; we will dispense with it. (to Footman and Coachman) Bring in the royal diadem to crown his gracious majesty and the royal sceptre, the symbol of his power. Footman and Coachman exit C., and return with a large crown and a feather duster. Gus. Your majesty, in investing you with these symbols of royalty I feel that I am conferring an unique distinction upon this people by giving them for a ruler a man the like of whom has never before escaped captivity. Omnes. Hear! Hear! Footman places crown on O’Rourke’s head, he having been led to the throne and seated thereon by Gussie, who takes feather duster from Coachman and brushes it across O’Rourke’s face. O’Rourke sneezes and fumbles in his pocket for a handkerchief. Gussie takes it from him and wipes his nose for him. Footman and Coachman retire to C. O’Rourke. Begorra, Oi’ve a notion to swipe yez for that, so Oi have. Gus. Pardon me, your majesty, but it is one of the privileges of my exalted office to perform all little services of that kind for our king. As I told you, a monarch is never permitted to do anything for himself. There yet remains the Coronation song. CORONATION SONG. To the tune of “This House is Haunted.” Gus. I now proclaim you our king, our monarch, And we your vassals true will be; Be gracious to us, do not refuse us, Thou brightest gem of royalty. Mrs. C. O! never fear, Gus., he’ll not refuse us, How could you look for that from such as he? Gus. and Mrs. C. He’s much too greedy and likewise seedy From such a snap as this to flee. Chorus. We now proclaim you our king, our monarch And we your vassals true will be, Be gracious to us, do not refuse us, Thou brightest gem of royalty. Kitty. We have a man now lately imported From over the sea, the Emerald Isle; We must not lose him, I will amuse him, Each idle moment I’ll be beguile. Santa. Oh never fear, dear, he will remain here, He will not haste to leave us yet a while. Kitty and Santa. But if he would go, he could not do so, Becoming an iceberg is not quite his style. Santa. Well I declare, the fellow has actually fallen asleep! O’Rourke. (starting suddenly) No Oi’m not asleep naythur. Who said Oi was asleep, eh? (yawns; starts to raise his hand to his mouth; Gussie places his own hand over O’Rourke’s mouth) By the powers now, Oi’ve a notion to knock a quart of stars out av yez eyes for that. Gus. Your majesty, it is one of the privileges of my office to cover the King’s mouth when he yawns. O’Rourke. It is, is it? Well don’t yez do that same any more while Oi am King or Oi’ll have yez hanged by the neck until yez are asphixiated, see? Kitty. Poor man! It is very tiresome work, being a King. O’Rourke. It is just that Miss Kitty; let me advise yez not to try it. But it will be different when Oi have you for my queen. Santa. That can never be! O’Rourke. Phwat is that? Git out sir, git out! Oi’ll have you banished to wance. Gus. Would your majesty be pleased to review the Amazons, the defenders of our realm? O’Rourke. Oi don’t know what an Amazon is, but Oi’ll be glad to interview anything for a change. Enter, Fairies and Holidays, and execute a fancy march. During progress of march O’Rourke attempts to applaud and take part in, in all of which attempts he is prevented by Gussie, who explains in pantomime that it does not become a monarch to do anything of these things. At close of march, Amazons take positions on R. and L. of stage. O’Rourke. Well now girruls, that’s foine. Oi think Oi’ll have yez on guard duty around the throne all the time. Oi’m afraid somebody’ll stale me, so Oi am. (to Gussie, who is talking to Kitty) Here sir, come away from that! Get me something to eat. Oi hanker for poy. Gus. Your majesty shall have pie in one minute. O’Rourke. (astounded) In wan minute! Ye haythen. Oi am the King and when Oi want poy Oi want poy, and begorra Oi’m going to have it too. O’Rourke starts toward C., Gussie takes him by the arm and leads him back to throne, and makes sign to Footman who exits, C. Gus. Your majesty shall have pie; but this unseemly haste ill befits a monarch. Enter, Footman, C., with pie on plate. O’Rourke. Ah! that’s a sight to gladden moy eyes, so it is. Bring the noble birrud here. O’Rourke starts to leave throne; Footman kneels and presents pie; Gussie takes it from him and eats it to the consternation of O’Rourke. Gus. (with mouth full of pie) Your majesty, it is one of the privileges of my exalted office to eat the King’s pie for him, doncherno? O’Rourke. This is the last ton av coal that broke the camel’s back! Oi have let yez blow moy nose for me, scratch moy head for me and lead me around loike a poodle on the end of a shtring, but Oi will let no cigarette sign av yure soize eat moy poy for me sir! No sir! Not for Venice! Yez can take yer ould kingdom; it’s nawthin but an Oice-house anyway. Oi shall go back to Cork, get on the perlice force and eat a poy-factory ivery day if Oi want to. That’s phwat Oi’ll do. Santa. (aside to Gussie) Gussie you’re a jewel of the first water. I congratulate you upon the success of your scheme. O’Rourke. Kitty, will yez fly wid me? Kitty. Unfortunately sir, I cannot fly, though I wish I could, for that seems to be the only way by which we can escape this icy prison. Santa. (to Gussie) Sir, I denounce you! Your scheme is a failure. My daughter’s mind remains unchanged. She is ready, even now, to fly to the end of the earth with this Hibernian babboon! Gus. Your majesty I have done my best; what more could I do. It was a noble plan and worthy the great brain from which it sprang, but success and failures are not far distant and I have fallen just outside the foul-line. O’Rourke. Yez is a quare birrud, Mr. Gus. Santa. Yez, you have failed. And failed in such a way that the dread calamity which you have endeavored to avert is now nearer than before. What shall I do? What shall I do? Ah, that is the question; whether it were better to wed my daughter to this billy-goat and set at rest, at once, this most vexatious question, or look me further for a son-in-law. Ah! ha! I have a scheme! I’ll ask this man some questions in the presence of my vassals here. An examination I’ll conduct more strict than ever Civil Service knew. (to O’Rourke) Here sir, I would a word with you. O’Rourke. All roight sor, apake out. Don’t be timid in the presence av royalty. Santa. As the father of the girl, whose hand you seek in marriage, I claim the privilege of inquiring concerning your antecedents. O’Rourke. Av coorse, av coorse. Santa. Who was your great-grandfather? O’Rourke. A man sor, and an Oirishman at that. He could foight sor loike a dog and drink the craythure loike a fish dhrinking wather. And such a jolly man he was too at a wake. Oi often wonder that the corpse itself didn’t come to loife to take a hand in the fistivities. Santa. Your future prespect, sir, what are they? I mean—what shekels are at your command. O’Rourke. A dollar and twenty kopecks is all Oi have at prisint, sor, but Oi have a political pull that can be cashed at a moment’s notice. Santa. Your health is good of course; your digestion unimpaired? O’Rourke. And was yez spaking of moy digestion now? Begorra, jist connect me wid a shquare meal and Oi’ll show yez phwat Oi can do in that same line, so Oi will. Santa. Such a foolish act as that would only serve to bankrupt our kingdom. But one more question I would ask; dost ever gamble, drink or smoke? O’Rourke. Naythur av the former sor, but on accasions whin Oi would be quite shwell Oi shmoke a cigarette or two. Santa. Ah, fiend! Away with him! Omnes. Shameful, shameful! A crime deserving death! Mrs. C. (to Kitty) My daughter, see what a fate thy rash infatuation would have consigned thee to. Kitty. I’ll save him yet and reform him. That is the mission of a pretty girl; to make at least one man better. While Kitty is speaking Tableau curtain at back opens and Erin, the Goddess of Ireland, appears. She steps majestically to C. of stage. Erin. O’Rourke, thou’rt found at last, I’ve searched for thee both far and wide For many hours past. Why from thine own native land To this place didst thou roam? Come sir, come hence with me, I fain would see thee home. O’Rourke. Yes, Oi want to go home, Oi want to go home; take me home—(stops suddenly) But what about Kitty? Erin. Kitty? What hast thou to do with the child? O’Rourke. She is going to be moy woife, ain’t you Kitty, me darlint? Oi was going to make her moy queen, but Oi couldn’t even make a queen of moyself now. Erin. Think of the maids of thy native isle, That emerald gem of the sea; Return at once and there we’ll find A fairer bride for thee. With eyes so bright and skin so fair, And voices like the linnet, Those Irish girls they beat the world And Kitty isn’t in it. Gus. Well now, that’s clevah, deucedly clevah, doncherno I believe I will emigrate myself. O’Rourke. Yes, Oi know about them Oirish girruls; they are foine to be coorse, but they are not moine and Kitty is, and that makes all the difference in the wirruld. Erin. O’Rourke, will you go? O’Rourke. Kitty, will you go? O’Rourke. Oi’ll pack me Saratogy and be wid ye in wan minute. Mrs. C. Kitty, you must not go. Think of your parents left languishing over your loss, living alone and childless in this land of eternal snow. Santa. And if you must marry, why not marry Gussie? He is certainly a far handsomer and more suitable husband than this Irishman. Gus. Oh! I say now, that’s clevah, deucedly clevah. I am agreeable and leave the matter entirely with Miss Kitty, doncherno. Kitty. Bah! A dude lacks five points of being equal to no husband. I’ll marry a man or never wed. (sadly) Shall I go or stay? I can divide my love, but not myself, and— TABLEAU.—Scene opens at back, showing O’Rourke dressed as in first act, with grip and cane in hand. Erin tries to lead him away. He stretches one hand imploringly toward Kitty, who moves slowly toward him and extends both her hands, one of which O’Rourke takes. Mrs. Claus rushes forward and seizes the other and tries to lead her back. Santa Claus makes a gesture commanding O’Rourke to begone. CURTAIN. THE END. THEATRICAL AND Fancy Costume Wigs. Attention is called to this List of WIGS, BEARDS, MUSTACHES, WHISKERS, &c. We employ a Wig-maker especially to manufacture goods for In ordering be careful to state every particular, i. e., size, color, etc.
BEARDS, WHISKERS, MUSTACHES, &c.
ARTICLES NEEDED BY AMATEURS. MAKE YOUR OWN WIGS, BEARDS, MUSTACHES, Etc. TABLEAUX LIGHTS. Our Tableaux Lights are very easily used and are of the best manufacture. Plainest directions accompany each. We have the following colors: Red, Green, Blue, and White. Price each, 25 cents. COLORED FIRE IN BULK. Put up in one-half pound packages. Price per pound, $1.75; per half pound, $1.00. MAGNESIUM TABLEAUX LIGHTS. A metal capable of being ignited by a common match, and burning with great brilliancy. This is the best light for moonlight and statuary. Price per package, 30 cents: per dozen, $2.50. LIGHTNING FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS. We will send a FLASH BOX and material for this purpose, with full printed directions for their use, to any address, for 50 cents. The effect produced by it will be found all that can be desired. BLUE. For unshaven faces. This is very necessary in low comedy characters. Price per box, 25 cents. PREPARED BURNT CORK. For Negro minstrels. This article we can recommend, as it can be taken off as easily as put on; in which it differs from most all others manufactured. Enough for 25 performances in each box. Price per box, 40 cents. COCOA BUTTER. This article is necessary to every lady or gentleman whether on the stage or in private life, as it smoothes the skin and keeps it from chapping. It is a very handy means of removing the make-up, as a piece of Cocoa Butter passed over the face will loosen all adhesive matter so thoroughly as to admit of being wiped off the face at once and completely. Should be used before making up. Price, 25 cents. CARMINE. For the face, and to heighten the effect of Burnt Cork in Negro characters. Price per box, 30 cents. PREPARED DUTCH PINK. For pale, sallow, and wan complexions. Price per box, 25 cents. CHROME. For sallow complexions, also for lightening the eyebrows, mustaches, etc. Price per box, 25 cents. EMAIL NOIR. To stop out teeth for old men characters, witches, etc. Price, 40 cents. PREPARED FULLER’S EARTH. To powder the face before “making up.” Price, 30 cents. JOINING PASTE. For joining bald fronts of wigs to forehead. Price per stick, 15 cents. MASCARO, or WATER COSMETIQUE. For darkening the eyebrows and mustaches, without greasing them, and making them prominent. Brown or black, 60 cents. MONGOLIAN. For Indians, Mulattoes, etc. Price per box, 30 cents. PASTE POWDER. To enlarge the shape of the nose for low comedy characters, etc. Price per box, 30 cents. PREPARED NOSE PUTTY. Used for the same purpose as Paste Powder and used in the same way. Price, 25 cents. RUDDY ROUGE. For sunburnt faces. Most essential for low comedy, country or seaman’s character. Price per box, 30 cents. SPIRIT GUM. The best in use, prepared expressly for securing mustaches, etc. Price, 25 cents. SKIN MUSTACHE MASKS. For hiding the mustache in powder costume pieces, negress characters, etc. Price, 15 cents. POWDERED ANTIMONY. For shading the hollows of the eyes. Price per box, 30 cents. PREPARED WHITING. For Pantomimes, Clown’s Faces, Statuary, etc. Price per box, 25 cents.
Done up in sticks 4 inches in length at 25 cents each; 8-inch sticks, 50 cents. Lining Colors, 4 inches long, at 10 cents each, except Carmine which is 15 cents. A box of Cream Sticks, containing the following colors: Two shades of Flesh, one Black, one Brown, one Lake, one Crimson, one White, one Carmine, and a color for Shading Wrinkles, $1.00. FOUND AT LAST! A Pocket Speller, A Concise Description of Thompson’s Pocket Speller. It gives the right orthography of all words, (over 22,800) in common use, and in nearly every instance their definition. It also gives the right orthography of the given names of men and women, rules for the use of capitals and punctuation marks, abbreviations of names of states and territories, letters of introduction and recommendation, definition of commercial terms, forms of notes, due bills, receipts, letters of credit, orders for money, merchandise and goods stored, principal holidays, marriage anniversaries, combination of shades, and carefully selected laws of etiquette in social and business life, also a silicate slate for memorandums. The Speller is bound in leather and indexed, and is of convenient size to be carried in vest pocket. Reasons why this Speller and Dictionary is the most desirable book of its kind, and some of the many advantages it has over all others. 1. It gives the most complete list of words in common use. 2. It is a Speller, Dictionary, handy companion and memorandum book combined. 3. It is the only book of the kind that can be conveniently carried in the vest pocket, being the regular size of memorandum books made for that purpose. 4. It is the only book of its kind that is indexed. 5. It is the only book of its kind that prints all words pronounced alike but spelled differently, so they can be distinguished at a glance. 6. It is the only book of its kind that gives the right orthography of the given names of men and women. 7. It is the only book of its kind that show where the letter E at the end of a word is to be dropped when adding ed or ing. 8. It is the only book of its kind that gives a complete list of the most practical business forms. 9. It is the only book of its kind that gives the laws of etiquette in social and business life; these rules alone are worth the price of Speller. 10. This Speller is bound in two qualities of leather and its price brings it within the reach of all, being 50 cents, bound with American Russia leather, Gilt edge and indexed. Bound with imitation Seal, red edge and not indexed, 25 cents. On receipt of Post Office Order, (for quality desired) the Speller will be prepaid to any address. Ames’ Publishing Co., Lock Box 152, CLYDE, OHIO. Roorbach’s LIST OF NEW PLAYS.
Ames Publishing Co., Lock Box 152. CLYDE, OHIO. Every Amateur wants a copy, and should order at once. Hints to Amateurs, BY A. D. AMES. A book of useful information for Amateurs and others, written expressly Do you wish to know How to act? Do you wish to know How to make up? Do you wish to know How to make fuses? Do you wish to know How to be prompted? Do you wish to know How to imitate clouds? Do you wish to know How to imitate waves? Do you wish to know How to make thunder? Do you wish to know How to produce snow? Do you wish to know How to articulate? Do you wish to know How to make lightning? Do you wish to know How to produce a crash? Do you wish to know How to make a wind-storm? Do you wish to know How to be successful on the stage? Do you wish to know The effects of the drama on the mind? Do you wish to know How to assign parts successfully? Do you wish to know The duties of the property man? Do you wish to know How to arrange music for plays? Do you wish to know Many hints about the stage? Do you wish to know How to form a dramatic club? Do you wish to know The duty of the prompter? Do you wish to know How to conduct rehearsals? Do you wish to know The best method for studying? Do you wish to know How to make a stage laugh? Do you wish to know How to burn a colored fire? Do you wish to know How to make a rain storm? Do you wish to know A short history of the drama? Do you wish to know All about scene painting? Do you wish to know Macready’s method for acting? If you wish to know the above, read Hints to Amateurs, it will be sent you for 15 cents per copy. THE OR, THE MISER’S GOLD. A Drama in Four Acts by D. H. Moore, Jr. Time 1 hour A good villain, two old men, country boy, Dan, the halfwit, two fine Irish parts for Biddy and Pat, leading lady and old woman, detective in search of a criminal, who at last is captured after robbing and killing the Miser, who is his own father. LOCKED OR, Mr. Bob Holiday’s Flirtation. A Farce in One Act, by Willard Guepner. Very good afterpiece in which the characters are all good. Mr. Holiday, a banker, is in love with Mrs. Stone; Miss Prim, the dress-maker, in whose rooms the flirtation is carried on; Mr. Stone becomes jealous and goes in search of his wife; Mr. Holiday cannot escape and is transformed into an ancient maiden—Tableau. THE THREE HATS. A Comedy IN THREE ACTS, BY ALFRED HENNEQUIN, Translated and adapted from the French BY NEWTON CHISNELL. This Comedy is written for 4 male and 3 female characters. SYNOPSIS. M. Adolphe Trimadart, who on a visit to London saves the life of M. Dupraillon at a fire, for which Dupraillon is very grateful and takes Adolphe to his home in Paris—Adolphe falls in love with a young lady at a glove store unknown to Dupraillon—During Mrs. Dupraillon’s absence from the city Dupraillon accidently meets a lady—a supper at Clerbois’—an accident as he leaves the house causes him to stumble against some gentlemen whose hats are knocked off; during the scuffle the cry of “police” is heard, and he picks up, as he supposes, his own hat, but on arriving at home he discovers he has a hat with M. Durand’s card, while his hat has his own card in—His wife returns and he is afraid she will discover his adventure and supper at Clerbois’ with the lady. The three hats cause a great deal of trouble as well as amusement, as the owners, as well as others, get mixed up in the misunderstanding caused by the exchanging of hats. Hallabahoola, Medicine Man. An Original Farce in one scene, by Bert Richards, author of “The Colored Senators,” “Fooling with the Wrong Man,” “Cupid’s Capers,” “The Spellin’ Skew,” etc. for 4 male and 3 female characters. The situations in this piece are extremely ludicrous; Costumes to suit characters; Time of performance 40 minutes. The Irish Squire, of Squash Ridge. A Farce in two scenes, by J. E. Crary, author of “The Old Wayside Inn,” “Alma, or United at Last,” etc., for 4 male and 2 female characters. This farce is very funny and will be sure to please. Costumes modern and the time of performance is 40 minutes. Ames’ Plays—Continued.
MAKE YOUR OWN WIGS! PREPARED WOOL! PREPARED WOOL IS AN ARTICLE THAT EVERYONE, WIGS! BEARDS! MUSTACHES! ETC. AT VERY LITTLE COST, PRICE 50 CENTS PER OUNCE. Address, THE AMES PUBLISHING CO., Lock Box 152, CLYDE, OHIO. Transcriber's Notes: The cover image was created by the transcriber, and is in the public domain. Uncertain or antiquated spellings or ancient words were not corrected. The illustrations have been moved so that they do not break up paragraphs and so that they are next to the text they illustrate. Errors in punctuation and inconsistent hyphenation were not corrected unless otherwise noted. Typographical errors have been silently corrected but other variations in spelling and punctuation remain unaltered. Where double quotes have been repeated at the beginnings of consecutive stanzas, they have been omitted for clarity. The heading "ACT II" after "END OF ACT I" was added by the transcriber for the sake of clarity and consistency. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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