Chapter Fifteen

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The elevator for which Lewis had rung brought Dick Wilder up with it. Until he saw him there, Lewis had totally forgotten that he would be coming along about now to keep his date with Petra.

“See here,” he exclaimed, taking Dick’s arm and pushing him back into the elevator cage ahead of himself. “Come on down with me. I’ll explain in the street. Petra’s busy just now and can’t possibly get away.” And by the time they had walked out through the lower hall, come to the sidewalk and crossed to the curb where Dick’s car was parked, Lewis had decided how much—how little, rather—he would tell Dick.

“Petra’s doing something very special for me,” he said. “Helping with a patient. Interruption would spoil the whole thing. You’d better wait here in your car till she comes down. I’ll stick around with you for a few minutes, if you’ll have me; then I must get back and see what she’s accomplished.”

“But how long will she be?” Dick asked, puzzled. “Not long, I hope. We’re a little late already. Featherstone kept me, talking over a commission that came in this morning.”

“Yes? Well, Petra mayn’t be able to leave for half an hour or so. But does it matter?”

“Oh, but see here, Lewis! She can’t be half an hour—or anything like it. God! Do you expect me just to sit here in this heat?”

“Shut up!” Lewis’ anger blazed. It was too soon after that other voice, McCloud’s, new-found, racked with love, had uttered the Name—and Lewis could not bear it. But after all, Dick had not been there. He could not know how shocking was the sound of his casual expletive.

So, quickly contrite for the injustice of his anger, Lewis exclaimed, “I’m sorry. I’m edgy, I think. It is blistering, isn’t it!” Lewis was decidedly not edgy and moreover, for some time now, ever since he had invited Petra out of the reception office to sit in the patients’ chair, facing him, he had not been aware of the heat. But it was the only explanation of his mood he cared to trust Dick with, at the moment. And his friend accepted it as reasonable.

“Oh, that’s all right.” Dick turned off Lewis’ apology, embarrassed, then added quickly, “But look here. I’m taking the Farwell family to the Meadowbrook Country Club for dinner. And there’s a tea party at Green Doors first. Very special! In honor of little Sophia’s second birthday. Her grandmother is coming—Clare’s mother. No one else. Clare’s counting on Petra, of course. Why, she’ll be terribly disappointed if I don’t get Petra there in the shortest possible time now. Do you see?”

Lewis did see, perfectly. Again Petra was to be forced into the role of baby-snubber. Only this time it was his, Lewis’, fault.

“Too bad,” he said. “A pity. But what Petra is doing now is even more important than two-year-old birthday parties. Take my deepest apologies to Mrs. Farwell, will you please, and tell her that I was tiresome and unreasonable and that Petra had nothing to say about it. Do that and I’ll drive her out myself—get her there in time for your dinner at the latest. I promise.”

“Well, Lewis, old-timer, I can only say that it seems to me you’re taking a funny way to help Petra learn how to treat Clare. I don’t see how anything can be quite so important as you’re making this out to be. Really! If Clare forgives you, she’s an angel. But she will, of course. She is an angel.”

“That’s reassuring. But seriously, Dick, it’s none of my business how Petra treats her stepmother. Thought I’d made that plain. As a matter of fact, though, and just from the outside, she seems to me to be playing her part at Green Doors rather well.—If you aren’t going to wait, you’d better get along and explain, hadn’t you?”

“Yes, I suppose I had. Clare can’t keep little Sophia up, of course. Somebody must be there before the cake and the candles to explain about Petra and help make a party. But be sure to get her out in time to dress for dinner, won’t you! Where will you dine yourself, Lewis? At the Allens’?”

“Perhaps. It doesn’t matter.... Cynthia’ll think I have a Meadowbrook complex for sure, if I turn up three times within the week!”

The last was spoken to himself as he stood on the curb, watching Dick’s car nose out and creep away in the traffic. Lewis would give Petra and McCloud another ten minutes before returning to his office. He went across to the Public Garden in the hope of finding an empty bench where he could smoke while waiting that ten minutes. But he wondered, as he went, what Dick would have thought, could he know how Lewis had left Petra occupied up there,—if he could see her, as Lewis had seen her from the door before he closed it softly. Dick would, of course, think him quite mad. But he was not mad. Lewis knew himself as sane—and as collected—as he had ever been in his life.

McCloud, after his declaration of love, had walked past Petra and Lewis, not seeing them any more, and dropped on his knees by the patients’ chair. There he had put his head down in his folded arms on the leather cushion. Lewis himself had stayed where he was, inert and doubtful of what to do. As a psychiatrist, he had no cue for further action. But Petra felt no hesitation. She did not even so much as glance at Lewis for approval of her intention when she quickly followed McCloud, and quietly seating herself on the arm of the patients’ chair, put her hand down on his dark head. After that, there was no sound or motion in the place.

... Petra’s eyes met Lewis’ through the stillness. He smiled his slight, fleeting smile—a smile that declared both his gravity and his comprehension. Then he got out of there, leaving Petra alone with McCloud, as quietly as he could. McCloud, when he returned to common day, had better find himself with Petra than with a psychiatrist. It was his best chance—Lewis was certain—of hanging on to the liberty he had regained, over the first minutes of difficult adjustments.

Lewis found his vacant bench in the garden and lit a cigarette. A squirrel, boldest and most insensitive of all animals to the moods of humans, came rollicking up to his feet. A motion picture of a squirrel’s gyrations, slowed down, ought to be excitingly beautiful. Lewis had long intended to buy a moving-picture camera for the one purpose of taking organic life in motion,—flowers opening, horses trotting, unconscious children playing. But so far he had not had the price,—not been willing to give it, anyhow. At this very minute the clinic was in crying need of a new ceiling. If he didn’t scare up the money for that and set them to work on it, the plaster would be coming down on people’s heads. You couldn’t wait for the hospital trustees to get around to vote the money. The psychological effect of such dinginess was bad for the patients too....

The Little Flower! Saint ThÉrÈse of Lisieux! It was precisely as if a friend of some of Lewis’ best friends had stepped in between him and his patient this afternoon, curing the patient. For the Little Flower was no far-off legend-enshrouded figure in Christian myth. She was of modern times. She had died, in fact, a girl then of twenty-five, only half a dozen years before Lewis was born. His mother’s contemporary! And in dying she had asked the privilege of spending her heaven doing good upon earth; and since then countless miracles had been credited to her interventions. Joseph Duffield, Lewis’ one greatest friend, had had, during the last few years of his life, what he in his Catholic terminology called a special devotion to this particular saint. Joseph had died, as it happened, midway in a novena he and his wife were making to the Little Flower for the cure of his angina. Strangely, her husband’s death and the unhealing grief it had brought her had not shaken Laura Duffield’s faith in the Little Flower’s loving goodness. There was even now a framed picture of the Little Flower on the bookcase in Laura’s bedroom where she had moved Michael when he fell so ill. Lewis had often looked across the suffering, paralyzed little form during his long watches this past week, and himself taken heart from the pure smiling face of the young saint.

Michael, too, knew ThÉrÈse and loved ThÉrÈse best after Mary and Joseph of all the saints his grandmother had taught him to reverence. The boy had told Lewis that first night he spent with him in his rooms, that he had begged the Little Flower—begged her over and over—to make his grandmother well again, right up until his separation from her at the clinic that afternoon. And when that did not happen, Michael had gone on praying and loving ThÉrÈse all the same, as soon as the first spasm of homesickness passed a little. Laura Duffield, when Lewis had remarked on this persistence of the boy’s faith in this particular saint, had smilingly said that to her mind that was one of the Little Flower’s favorite miracles, preserving and even increasing faith in the hearts whose dearest desires she could not, in God’s mercy, answer.... It was the miracle beyond miracles, Laura had said, this increased love and faith in the face of denial. Didn’t Lewis himself see that?

The squirrel was now actually on Lewis’ knee, begging with nose and paws and eyes for nuts. But Lewis looked through the avid little beggar as through a bit of glass. Shock of some sort—he had made up his mind to that weeks ago, hadn’t he!—was the best hope of restoring McCloud’s speech. The only question had been how to procure a shock that would not be calamitous. Well, this afternoon, McCloud had had his shock. Two of them, in fact, one right on top of the other. First, the most violent sort of anger at finding his doctor betraying his confidences. Second, Petra’s reminding him with such unexpected suddenness of the Little Flower—a person intimately connected with the brother for whose death McCloud held himself responsible. It was possible even that “the kid” had spoken Saint ThÉrÈse’s name while dying. In any case this afternoon had shown that she was all bound up with memories of “the kid” in McCloud’s tortured mind. So there were the two shocks, either one of which might easily account for the cure. Lewis admitted the possibilities. But all the same, he was not convinced of the rational explanation. Nor was he exactly convinced of the supernatural explanation. He simply felt no compulsion to decide between them. Who was he, to dare to say!

One thing only was certain. The McCloud records should be abstracted from the files at once and burned; for no psychiatric theories, no pages for a new book, would ever be forthcoming from this particular case. That was Lewis’ only certainty.

The squirrel sprang away as Lewis got up. The ten minutes he had given Petra and McCloud alone together must be up. He threw away his cigarette and went back to the office building.

The door into his reception room was locked. That was surprising. Lewis remembered, distinctly, that the latch had been off when he came out. It was always off, in fact, until the place was finally shut up for the day. He got out his latchkey, wondering.

The rooms were deserted. No Petra. No McCloud. They had both gone. But surely Petra had interpreted Lewis’ final look at her before he closed the door to mean he would be back almost at once. She must have known he would want to keep McCloud in his care for the next few hours. Why, he had left his hat there on the desk even, and his papers lay scattered. Petra could see, if she couldn’t reason, that he was coming back.

He looked his desk over, thinking she might have left a note of explanation for him. But she had not even done that. Then Lewis thought he understood. She must suddenly have realized that Dick was very late, called the architect’s office, found that Dick had left it some time ago, decided that he was not, after all, coming for her, and dashed for a train. But where would McCloud have gone off to, so quickly, without a word, or a note? His room, most likely. Quickly Lewis looked up the address. There was a telephone number, but Lewis dared not submit the stability of the young man’s cure to such a drastic test. So he started off in search.

A little after seven o’clock Lewis was back in his own rooms in the apartment hotel where he lived. He had waited in his car outside McCloud’s rooming house for something over an hour, watching for McCloud’s return, after first making sure he was not already at home. Then he had dined in anxious solitude in a humble restaurant and now he was here to telephone Green Doors. He got Dick, but only to discover that Petra had not come on the train, hadn’t showed up at all.

“But you promised to bring her yourself, I thought! We’ve been waiting. Clare was delighted. She wants you to join our party at the Club. She called your office the minute I told her your plan about driving Petra out. But nobody answered. How do I know where Petra is, if you don’t?”

Lewis explained—but it sounded stupid in his own ears—that he and Petra had missed each other somehow and she had never learned that he was driving her out to Meadowbrook. She must have taken a train. Please would Dick have her call Lewis at his rooms here the minute she came. It was important. Yes, Lewis would wait in for the call.

After that, there was nothing Lewis could do but wait and try to read, or work on the book. He would read. He wished he had installed an electric fan this summer. It had been the expense, again, that had deterred him. But this was a most oppressive variety of heat. Not a breath. Extraordinary. You didn’t often get nights like this so close to the Atlantic. A good thing he hadn’t let Cynthia hang curtains at his windows. Every particle of air that could come in was here in his curtainless rooms. Lewis took “Phantastes” down from his bookshelves and settled into a chair against one of the windows to read. He had hesitated between “Phantastes” and “Saint Augustine’s Confessions,” and finally chosen the former. His recent talk with Cynthia on the subject of Petra was the deciding factor.

Eight. Half-past eight. Quarter to nine. Dick must have forgotten to tell Petra to call, that was all. They would be just about finishing dinner at the Club now. Lewis would make himself wait until nine, to make certain not to interrupt Dick’s dinner party, and then call.

This time he asked for Miss Farwell herself, but if she was not there then Mr. Richard Wilder. It was Dick who came, and with promptness. “Yes, just finished dinner. I was right here by the boxes, going to call you. Petra hasn’t showed up. Clare wants to speak to you.”

“Doctor Pryne? Good evening. I’m really rather anxious, you know. What’s become of Petra? Where is she? Dick doesn’t seem to have got it quite straight.”

If Clare knew Teresa Kerr’s whereabouts, Lewis would have asked her for the address then and there, in spite of the taboo Petra had imposed on mentioning Teresa to anybody at Green Doors, for of course it had occurred to him that Petra must have taken McCloud to see Teresa. If she was living in Boston. It was she, Teresa, who had prayed for his cure to Saint ThÉrÈse. It was she who had understood that McCloud could say “I love.” But Clare, Lewis was sure, knew nothing of Teresa Kerr’s present existence. So he merely said, “The whole thing is due to my stupidity. We missed somehow, Petra and I. But I am sure she is all right, that there’s nothing to worry about. Only please ask her to call me the minute she does turn up, will you. I am waiting in to talk with her. Here at my rooms. Thanks so much.”

Lewis had been sincere in his assurances to Clare that Petra was all right and that there was no cause for anxiety on the part of her stepmother. Lewis’ only real anxiety at that time was about McCloud. He wanted to know whether the cure had lasted; and it seemed hard, having merely to sit here and wait for that information until Petra called him up. He grew more certain as the evening wore on that she had taken him to Teresa and that they were there now. The McCloud business had simply put Green Doors and all her social obligations right out of Petra’s mind. You could not wonder at that. Lewis’ own mind had had room for nothing else since, in spite of his pretended reading of many pages, already thrice familiar, of George MacDonald’s “Phantastes.”

He gave up even the pretense of reading now and started pacing his sitting room. It was a large, long, low room, almost bare of furniture. The partitions joining three rooms had been knocked out to make it. The two things Lewis demanded of his living quarters were spaciousness and absence of unessentials. So this sitting room of his—to which he had let Cynthia do nothing—was rather like a very large, beautifully proportioned cell,—except for a grand piano at one end set between corner windows. This was a beautiful rosewood instrument, beautiful in itself as a vase of flowers or a fire on a hearth. And it was heaped with stacks of musical scores. Lewis read music for diversion as other people read books. Sometimes he played to his reading—ghostlily, for his mind alone. But whether his hands gave him back the sounds he read as ghostly echo or not, he usually did his music-reading sitting at the piano as if he were playing. The instrument itself, even when he was not touching the keys, seemed in some inexplicable way to enrich his comprehension of the scores. Bach and Brahms were the masters he consorted with most, but he often turned to CÉsar Franck as well, and understood him.

Above the piano between the windows, Lewis had hung a picture, framed in narrow black wood. It was about a foot square, no more, and the only picture in the room. Three trees, done in ordinary pencil. The first impression was of meaning and beauty. The lines of the trees and the grasses at their roots flowed upward with an ineffable sweep of freedom. Even the trunks were fluid. That was the first strong impression. But if one looked again, came nearer, one was surprised at oneself for having seen it as full of meaning because now one guessed that here was but another modernistic performance, seemingly careless, yet (if one was given the grace to understand it) tremendously sophisticated—a production of the very latest moderns. Then if one stayed on there, trying to regain one’s first genuine thrilling response to loveliness, one saw better: now the upward fluid sweep of the trees’ living lines was pure unaffected copying of what some fresh, pure vision had seen. A child! It was a child’s drawing.

It was, indeed, one of little Michael Duffield’s drawings. If Michael kept this way of seeing (for that was what his drawing was now, pure seeing) through the rapids of adolescence, where so much is torn apart and swept away as well as so much gathered together and added to in the make-up of the psyche, Michael would be one of the masters. A great artist. Lewis was certain of it. Meanwhile, this one drawing was enough for Lewis to possess, of the hundreds Laura Duffield so carefully cherished. When the piano was silent and the musical scores were put away, it filled the room for him with perpetual music.

Lewis stopped his pacing. What sense was there in all this miserable anxiety, when trees rose up out of the earth, like that, fluid, peace in their flowing boughs! He went to the piano bench—opened Brahms’ Rhapsody in G-minor—smoked and read, read and smoked.

It was after midnight when the telephone rang in the bedroom. He was there almost before the second ring had started, sitting on his bed, lifting the instrument from the table by the pillow. He knew it must be Petra. “Yes, yes,” he said. “Lewis speaking.” Not Doctor Pryne. At midnight, after two hours with Brahms, one’s surname is a thing of peculiar unreality, impossible to speak seriously. Hence his “Lewis speaking.” But there was silence on the wire. For a breath there came no response to his announcement of baptismal selfhood. So he spoke again, with an almost fantastic presumption, into the night at large, “Petra! Are you there.... Petra?”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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