’Twas with a start that I realized the lateness of the hour. Time for liquor! ’Twas hard to believe. My uncle sat with his bottle and glass and little brown jug. The glass was empty and innocent of dregs; the stopper was still tight in the bottle, the jug brimming with clear water from our spring. He had himself fetched them from the pantry, it seemed, and was now awaiting, with genial patience, the arrival of company to give an air of conviviality to the evening’s indulgence. I caught him in a smiling muse, his eye on the tip of his wooden leg; he was sailed, it seemed, to a clime of feeling far off from the stress out of which I had come. There was no question: I was not interrogated upon the lapse of the crew, as he called John Cather and Judy and me, from the politeness of attendance at dinner, which, indeed, he seemed to have forgotten in a train of agreeable recollections. He was in a humor as serene and cheerfully voluble as ever I met with in my life; and when he had bade me join him at the table to pour his first dram, he fell to on the narrative of some adventure, humorously occurring, off the I got up resolved. “Where you goin’, Dannie?” says my uncle, his voice all at once vacant of cheerfulness. “To the pantry, sir,” I answered. “Ah!” says he. “Is it ginger-ale, Dannie?” “No, sir.” “That’s good,” says he, blankly; “that’s very good. For Judy,” he added, “is fell into the habit o’ tipplin’ by day, an’ the ginger-ale is all runned out.” I persevered on my way to the pantry. “Dannie!” he called. I turned. “Is you quite sure, lad,” he asked, with an anxious rubbing of his stubble of gray beard, “that ’tisn’t ginger-ale?” “I’m wanting a glass, sir,” I replied, testily. “I see but one on the table.” “Ah!” he ejaculated. “A glass!” I returned with the glass. “Dannie,” says my uncle, feigning a relief he dared not entertain, “you was wantin’ a drop o’ water, wasn’t you?” He pushed the little brown jug towards me. “I ’lowed ’twas water,” says he, hopefully, “when you up an’ spoke about gettin’ a glass from the pantry.” He urged the jug in my direction. “Ay,” he repeated, The jug remained in its place. “Dannie,” he entreated, with a thick forefinger still urging the jug on its course, “you is thirsty, I knows you is!” I would not touch the jug. “You been havin’ any trouble, shipmate?” he gently asked. “Yes, sir,” I groaned. “Trouble, God knows!” “Along o’ Judy?” ’Twas along o’ Judy. “A drop o’ water,” says he, setting the glass almost within my hand, “will do you good.” ’Twas so anxiously spoken that my courage failed me. I splashed water into the glass and swallowed it. “That’s good,” says he; “that’s very good.” I pushed the glass away with contempt for its virtue of comfort; and I laughed, I think, in a disagreeable way, so that the old man, unused to manifestations as harsh and irreligious as this, started in dismay. “Good,” he echoed, staring, unconvinced and without hope; “that’s very good.” And now, a miserable determination returning, I fixed my eyes again on the square, black bottle of rum. ’Twas a thing that fairly fascinated my attention. The cure of despair was legendary, the palatable quality a thing of mere surmise: I had never experienced either; but in my childhood I had watched my uncle’s fearsome moods vanish, as he downed his drams, one by I watched that bottle. “Dannie,” says my uncle, with a wish, no doubt, for a diversion, “is the moon up?” I walked to the window. “’Tis up,” I reported; “but ’tis hid by clouds, an’ the wind’s rising.” “The wind rising?” says he. “’Twill do us no harm.” Of course, my uncle did not know which of us was at sea. “The wind,” he repeated, “will do no harm.” I sat down again: and presently got my glass before me, and reached for the square, black bottle of rum. I could stand it no longer: I could really stand it no longer––the pain of this denial of my love was too much for any man to bear. “I’ll have a drop,” says I, “for comfort.” My uncle’s hand anticipated me. “Ah!” says he. “For comfort, is it?” Unhappily, he had the bottle in his hand. ’Twas quite beyond my reach––done with any courtesy. I must wait for him to set it down again. The jug was close enough, the glass, too; but the bottle was in watchful custody. My uncle shook the bottle, and held it to the lamp; he gauged its contents: ’twas still stout––he sighed. And now he set it on the table, with his great, three-fingered hand about the neck of it, so that all hope of possession departed from me: ’twas a clutch too close and meaning to leave me room for hope. I heard the wind, rising to a blow, but had no fret on that account: there was none of us at sea, I shall never forget: I could not forget. “Dannie,” says he, listlessly, “’tis wonderful warm in here. Cast up the window, lad.” ’Twas not warm. There was no fire; and the weather had changed, and the wind came in at the open door, running in cold draughts about the house. ’Twas warm with the light of the lamp, to be sure; I opened the window. “That’s good,” he sighed. “How’s the tide?” “’Tis the ebb, sir.” “Could ye manage t’ see Digger Rock?” he inquired. The moon, breaking out, disclosed it: ’twas a rock near by, submerged save at low-tide––I could see it. “Very good,” says he. “Could ye hit it?” “I’ve nothing to shy, sir.” “But an you had?” he insisted. My tutor entered the hall. I heard him go past the door. ’Twas in a quick, agitated step, not pausing to regard us, but continuing up the stair to his own room. I wondered why that was. “Eh, Dannie?” says my uncle. “I might, sir,” I answered. “Then,” says he, “try it with this bottle!” I cast the bottle. “That’s good,” says he. “Ye’re a wonderful shot, Dannie. I heared un go t’ smash. That’s good; that’s very good!” We sat, my uncle and I, for an hour after that, I fancy, without managing an exchange: I would address him, but he would not hear, being sunk most despondently in his great chair by the empty, black grate, with his eyes fixed in woe-begone musing upon the toes of his ailing timber; and he would from time to time I considered my uncle. “Do ye go t’ bed, Dannie,” says he, looking up at last. “Ye’ve trouble enough.” I rose, but did not wish to leave him comfortless in “Ye’ll not trouble about me, lad?” I would not be troubled. “That’s good,” says he. “No need o’ your troublin’ about me. Ol’ Nick Top’s able t’ take care o’ hisself! That’s very good.” I started away for bed, but turned at the door, as was my custom, to wish my uncle good-night. I said nothing, for he was in an indubitable way not to be disturbed––having forgotten me and the affection I sought at all times to give him. He was fallen dejectedly in his chair, repeating, “For behold the Lord will come with fire, and with his chariots like a whirlwind, to render his anger with fury, and his rebuke with the flames of fire.” I paused at the door to watch him, and I saw that his maimed hand wandered over the table until it found his glass, and that he caught and raised the glass, and that he set it down again, and that he pushed the empty thing away. I saw all that.... And I went to bed; but I did not go to sleep. In the first place, I could not, and, for better reason, my tutor got astir the moment my door was closed. I heard his cautious descent to the dining-room. The man had been waiting to get me out of the way; but I heard him go down, and that right easily, in the fall of his stockinged feet, and in the click of his door-latch, and in the creak of the stair. I cast my clothes off in haste, but The end of this was that John Cather and my uncle came above. My tutor went straightway to his room, with steps that hastened past my door; but my uncle paused, pushed the door cautiously ajar, thrust in his head. “Is you asleep, Dannie?” says he. “No, sir. I’m wonderful wide awake.” “Ah, well!” he whispered, in such a way that I perceived his triumphant glee, though I could not see his “An’ why, sir?” I asked. “Like a babe, Dannie,” says he, addressing me with fondness, as though I were a little child again––“jus’ like a babe.” He walked to my window and looked out to sea. “Dirty weather the morrow, sir,” I ventured. “The lights o’ the mail-boat!” he exclaimed. “She’ve left Fortune Harbor. Ecod, b’y!” He withdrew at once and in haste, and I heard him stump off to my tutor’s quarters, where, for a long time after that, there occurred many and mysterious noises. I could not understand, but presently made the puzzle out: John Cather was packing up. ’Twas beyond doubt; the thump and creak, the reckless pulling of drawers, steps taken in careless hurry and confusion, the agitation of the pressing need of haste, all betrayed the business in hand. John Cather was packing up: he was rejected of Judith––he was going away! It hurt me sorely to think that the man would thus in impulsive haste depart, after these years of intimate companionship, with a regard so small for my wishes in the matter. Go to sleep like a babe? I could not go to sleep at all; I could but lie awake in trouble. John Cather was packing up; he was going away! My uncle helped him with his trunks down the stairs and to the stage-head, where, no doubt, my uncle’s punt was waiting to board the belated mail-boat––the mean little trunk John Cather had come with, and the great leather one I had “Where are your matches?” says he. I told him, but did not like the manner of his speech. ’Twas in a way to rouse the antagonism of any man, being most harsh and hateful. “I can’t find them,” he complained. “You’ll find them well enough, John Cather,” I chided, “an you looks with patience.” He had no patience, it seemed, but continued to fumble about, and at last, with his back turned to me, got my lamp lighted. For a moment he stood staring at the wall, as though he lacked the resolution to turn. And when he wheeled I knew that I looked upon the countenance of a man who had been broken on the wheel; and I was very much afraid. John Cather was splashed and streaked with the mud of the hills. ’Twas not this evidence of passionate wandering that alarmed me; ’twas his pallor and white lips, his agonized brows, the gloomy depth to which his bloodshot eyes had withdrawn. “Now,” says he, “I want to look at you.” I did not want to be looked at. “Sit up!” he commanded. I sat up in bed. “Put the blanket down,” says he. “I have come, I say, to look at you.” I uncovered to my middle. “And this,” says he, “is the body of you, is it?” The lamp was moved close to my face. John Cather laughed, and began, in a way I may not set down, to comment upon me. ’Twas not agreeable. I tried to stop him. ’Twas unkind to me and ’twas most injurious to himself. He did us vile injustice. I stopped my ears against his raving, but could not shut it out. “And this is the body of you! This is the body of you!” Here was not the John Cather who had come to us clear-eyed and buoyant and kindly out of the great world; here was an evil John Cather––the John Cather of a new birth at Twist Tickle. ’Twas the man our land and hearts had made him; he had here among us come to his tragedy and was cast away. I knew that the change had been worked by love––and I wondered that love could accomplish the wreck of a soul. I tried to stop his ghastly laughter, to quiet his delirium of brutality; and presently he was still, but of exhaustion, not of shame. Again he brought the lamp close to my face, and read it, line upon line, until it seemed he could bear no longer to peruse it. What he saw there I do not know––what to give him hope or still to increase the depth of his hopelessness. He betrayed no feeling; John Cather set the lamp on the table, moving in a preoccupation from which I had been cast out. “John Cather!” I called. My uncle shouted from below. “John!” I urged. “Parson,” my uncle roared, “ye’ll lose your passage!” Cather blew out the light. “John,” I pleaded, “you’ll not go without saying good-bye?” He stopped on the threshold; but I did not hear him turn. I called him again; he wheeled, came stumbling quickly to my bed, caught my hand. “Forgive me, Dannie!” he groaned. “My heart is broken!” He ran away: I never saw him again.... And now, indeed, was the world gone all awry! What had in the morning of that day been a prospect of joy was vanished in a drear mist of broken hopes. Here was John Cather departed in sore agony, for which was no cure that ever I heard of or could conceive. Here was John Cather gone with the wreck of a soul. A cynical, purposeless, brooding life he must live to his last day: there was no healing in all the world for his despair. Here with us––to whom, in the My uncle roughly awoke me at dawn. “Sir?” I asked. “Judy,” says he, “haves disappeared.” He held me until he perceived that I had commanded myself.... |