B BOYS, ye ask me ter spin ye a story Of adventer by flood or field, Or stand for licker ter bits at the bar,— Ter the former, of course, I’ll yield; For I’m rather short of greenbacks jist now, Havin’ been out of work some time. So, hear goes for a yarn, but ye must not Make sport of my effort at rhyme—For in youth I had no eddercation, ’Cept crumbs pick’d up by the way, A scratchin’ figgers on the old school house Of our pedergogue, Milton Gray. It war in Nervember we burn’d the place: On the seventeenth we cut loose From our base of surplies, and started orf Ter exercute Sherman’s ruse, That he war playin’ on Hood, the rebel, Who’d unkiver’d his flanks ter soon, For he left the way cl’ar for us ter raid Ter Servanner or ter the moon! It war on that march the ervent tuk place Of which I am goin’ ter tell, Of how I ran inter a nest ef bees, And thar got a foretaste of hell! But each man dug out upon his own hook, And rush’d for the front and plunder: N’arly all of ’em got thar full of it, But some of the boys went under; For, ye see, thar war stray rebels erbout, Who would swing ’em up by the necks, When they cetch’d ’em totin’ erway the grub— And hundreds parsed in thar checks! In them days I war not at all skeery— Impressin’ a mule, I lit out For the front, whar the bummers war raidin’ And scourin’ the country erbout— They would coral thar mules in the forest, Unsling knapsacks and build a fire, Of pine logs, dry knots, or rails from the farms; Then, chuck full of pork, they’d rertire Ter slumbers disturb’d by the dyin’ squeals Of swine they had slaughter’d for tea, ’Til they thought the devils had come back from Those Jesus druv inter the sea! As I have told ye, I jin’d the bummers With my mule, my gun and canteen, And the days that I roam’d about with ’em War the jolliest I have seen; Now while I did not do any stealin’, And paid cash for all I seized, If thar’s one thing I love it is wimin, And, if thar pretty, I am pleas’d; And when I saw more than a dozen bee hives Lercated right thar in the yerd, And the boys goin’ quickly terwards ’em, I felt that it war mighty hard. I spurr’d up my mule, and then prertested Not one should be tak’n from thar; But the fellers jist snickered right out, And told me ter go comb my ha’r— Objections war no use erbout them days; And, like a cornsumate old fool, I drew rein at the gate ef the house, and Watch’d ’em from the back of my mule. Then them soldiers made a sortie on the bees With thar ponchos, and tuk ’em quick Ter the stream near by whar they drowned them, And lifted the hives from the creek. While this war doin’ I sat on that mule, Till Dick Mullens upset a hive, And a swarm of mad bees came tearin’ out, And, soarin’ around, made a dive And erway on a fearful race he broke Over fences, lorgs, ditches and rocks, Headin’ for the water under the hill— He near shook me out of my socks! On his break-neck race for that brook berlow It war needless ter pull on the rein, For that ugly mule war dead set upon Gittin’ rid of his bitin’ pain! With me the siteration war quite bad— That mule’s hide war thicker than mine; And when they lit on me I fit a while: Then foller’d the mule’s bee line! The muddy water war full four feet deep, And I came quite n’ar bein’ drown’d, As with the old mule I battl’d thar, With the bees what war buzzin’ ’round! One minute he lay flat upon his back— The next balanced, on his fores, With his tail stuck out, and kickin’ like mad, As the bees fell on him by scores! Wal, while this battle war ergoin’ on ’Twixt the bees and the valiant mule, I had a chance ter crawl up ter the bank— Don’t say that my action war cru’l— For the critter war much better prepar’d With his tail ter banish his foes, While I had not a durn’d thing erbout me Ter aid him the battle ter close. When I had found them I war satersfied, And did not rernew the ertack On them wild bees; but, boys, I’m not carten But that mule still lies on his back Erway down thar in Berks county, fightin’ The dercendents of them mad bees What that day swarm’d out of that broken hive! That’s the yarn!—Who’s treat is it, please? _ |
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