The strong-room was about ten feet by fifteen, and no more than eight feet high. There were presses in it for the books, and an iron safe in which the cash and securities were kept. This safe, standing on tressels in a corner, was the one used by the house before the business expanded to its present dimensions. Upon it the old man set his lamp, and putting two deed-boxes one on the other, he placed them near the safe for a seat. Then he opened the safe, and taking out some of the securities it contained, placed them beside him. He adjusted his spectacles, and turned over the deeds and shares somewhat listlessly. The documents here represented a vast sum of money. Here were deeds on which he held mortgages, title-deeds, stocks, and shares. He did not undo the tapes. He knew them all by sight, when and how he had acquired them. This was the result of one speculation, that of another. In his will this and this were left for life to his wife, and afterwards to his son and his son's children. This and this and this were to go absolutely to his son. He went on thus through all the documents in the safe. There was no hurry. It was still many hours to daylight. If all were over with him before people were stirring, all would be well. He had cut off his retreat. He could not now get out of that room even if he wished it. He felt glad that he had come in here. This was a kind of antechamber to the other world. There was no going back now, and if he could derive any consolation from the contemplation of the past by the light of these records, he might do so without injuring anyone. Ay, these were for Eugene. What would be his boy's fate? No doubt he would recover from the hurt, for he was young and hearty. But then how would he get a living? All his life he had been used to good things, and looking forward to a career of remarkable prosperity. Now he was a beggar, an outcast from fortune. These properties and moneys had been intended for him. Now they would go to the greedy creditors of Vernon and Son. It was too bad that just at the very moment his boy had made up his mind to marry, everything should be swept away from them. For some years the only anxiety he had felt was that his boy should marry some good amiable girl, and settle down in Rathclare, so that he (the father) might feel that the successor to his business was at hand in case anything should happen to himself. He had not wished for money with the wife of his son. He had not wished for any social advancement. He was not a man who believed in family or society advancement. He wished his son to be an honest and prosperous trader in his native town, and when that sweet girl had been to their home a few times, he began to regard her as already his daughter. He had intended making her a wedding-present independent of what he was to do for Eugene. Here was what he had intended for her. These were the title-deeds of Rose Cottage, Glengowra, which would do the young people for their summer home. It was a famous cottage for flowers, and there was grass for a cow, and there was a paddock, and a little lawn, and a large garden. Just the thing altogether for a young couple in the summer time. Let him look at what the property consisted of. He read over slowly the recital of all the things that went with Rose Cottage, the measurements of the land, and so on, as though he were about to buy, and it was necessary to be careful. Then he folded up the paper softly, and tied it with the tape, and set it by him on the ground. He was not an imaginative man, but the few images which had visited him seemed all the more brilliant, because of their rareness. And one of the visions which had come to him lately, and which pleased him more than any other he had known for years, was that of Eugene and Nellie living in this Rose Cottage, and he and his wife coming out in the cool evening and having tea with them in the little arbour overlooking the sea. It would be strange and delightful, now that the vigour of his youth and the strength of his manhood had passed away for ever, to be the guest of his own son; to hear his son say, "Welcome, father," and to see this tall, fair girl, who had such bright and pleasant ways, tending to his good-hearted, kindly old wife, Mary. To see her placing the chair of honour for her, and making much of her, would be a thing to live for and enjoy. And then, later, there would be children who would call him grandfather, and, with their fresh young voices and gallant spirits, take away the feeling of toil and the weariness of years. What would Mary do? Mary, whom he had married long ago; and yet, now that he had come to the end of his life, it seemed but yesterday. He could see every event of their marriage-day more clearly than he could see what had happened yesterday; for his eyes had grown dim since then, and the magic charm of memory is that it forgets so well what it does not wish to retain. Bah! It would never do to think of those times, and of his old Mary left alone and poor upon the world. It would take the resolution out of him to think of her. It would rob him of his manhood to picture her destitute in the face of unsympathetic men. No. It would rob him of the last remains of vigour to fancy her standing alone and deserted, without a home or a meal. He had come into that room for the purpose of closing his life with his business career. Eugene was young and full of spirits, and had many friends, and would soon get something to do, and be able to give his mother a little, and to marry. He must not take a gloomy view of the future for those he was leaving behind. If he wanted to keep up his resolution he must think of the future he was losing in this great crash. It was of Eugene and Eugene's wife he must think. The fact that he could be of no further use to his son, or his wife, or his son's wife, was the thought to keep him to his resolution. If things had gone otherwise with him he could have made those young lives so happy as far as worldly gear was concerned. What further use was he on earth? Let him leave all at once. Why should he confront this trouble and disgrace--trouble unearned, disgrace unmerited? He took up the documents from the floor and replaced them all carefully in the safe. It was in this safe the money was kept. He pulled out the drawer containing it. A week ago he would have thought this a comparatively small sum. Now it seemed very large indeed. If it had been only so managed that this two thousand pounds could have been honestly saved from the wreck, it would have been sufficient to provide, in an humble way--but there! Let the thought go. Nothing could be saved--not a shilling. He closed the drawer, and then drew out the one next to it. This contained the revolver. The light of the lamp so fell that when the drawer was fully out only the barrel of the weapon was in the light. The old man stood looking at that glittering barrel. It was as though that barrel was a deadly snake slowly issuing from the darkness, and he was powerless to move, to avoid it. Once more all his strength forsook him. His face flushed, his limbs trembled; he clasped his hands convulsively. He drew back a pace and almost fell against the opposite side. He put his hand before his eyes and groaned. "Has it come to this with me," he said, "in my old age? Can it be possible, I, who never did a dishonest act, must fly from life because of the dishonesty of another?" He put his hand up to his neck and tore his shirt open. He dropped his hands, threw up his head and looked around him. "Great God! what is this?" The lamp was burning blue. His head was giddy. He was suffocating! |