The word Courtship has an old-world sound about it, and carries the mind back to the statelier manners of bygone days. Nowadays we have no leisure for courtly greetings and elaborately-turned compliments. We are slackening many of the old bonds, breaking down some of the old restraint, and, though it will seem treason to members of a past generation to say it, we are, let us hope, arriving at a less artificial state of things.

During the march of civilisation Marriage and the circumstances that lead up to it have undergone many and wonderful changes, though the deep-seated fundamental idea of having a mate has remained unaltered in essence.

Just as the savage of to-day steals or fights for his dusky bride, so did our own rude forefathers of past ages look to rapine and the sword as the natural means of procuring the mate who was to minister to their joys and necessities.

As the Chinese girl of the twentieth century is bought by her husband like a piece of furniture or a cooking utensil, so the child bride of ancient Rome used to take a formal farewell of her dolls and playthings, making a solemn offering of them to the Gods, before she was sold to the husband who was legally entitled to beat her if he liked, she being nothing but his slave in the eyes of the law.

We have travelled far since then, and it would be impossible even to touch upon the main points of development that have {14} placed Engagement and Marriage upon their present footing amongst us. It is to be noted that no two countries have moved quite side by side in this matter. We find the written and unwritten laws which regulate the conduct of man to woman different to some extent in every land, and what would be an act of courtesy in one country would be regarded as a serious breach of etiquette in another.

No one has made a clean sweep of all the old formalities; there are still certain things which may and may not be done; and it is for this reason that a few hints on this ever new, ever-engrossing subject of Courtship and Marriage may be found helpful to those who are contemplating the most important step in the life of man or woman.

We are very free and easy now in England, though not quite as unconventional as they are on the other side of the Atlantic. We have abolished a great many of the false barriers erected by Mrs. Grundy or her predecessors, which kept young men and women from enjoying each other's society in an innocent, natural way. Of course there is no gain without a certain amount of loss, and while we have advanced in freedom we have retrograded in chivalry, deference, and courtesy.

The girl who daily meets a man on common ground in his business or his sport is not regarded by him with the same "distant reverence" which the devout lover of former days cherished for the lady of his heart. Perhaps as we are but human beings it is as well that we are more natural, and less given to idealise our beloved. Women are no longer brought up in the belief that it is a disgrace not to get married, and a still greater disgrace to show the least sign of being anxious to fulfil their destiny. Every normally-minded woman who is honest with herself must confess to her own heart--even if to no other--that marriage rightly understood is the life for which she was intended, and the one in which she would find the highest, purest happiness. If, however, the right man fails to appear, she can make herself very happy. She does not think that each man of her acquaintance is desirous to marry her, or that a ten minutes' tÊte-À-tÊte will expose her to the risk of a proposal.

As things go now men and women in England have abundant opportunities for seeing and knowing each other before linking their lives together. This freedom of intercourse, {15} however, is fettered here and there by what we call Etiquette, which varies considerably in the different scales of social life. The coster may have less ceremony in his wooing and wedding than the nobleman; the royal prince is hedged in by formalities unknown to the middle classes; but in every rank there are accepted traditions, written and unwritten rules, to which men and women must submit if they will be self-respecting, law-abiding citizens.

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