Ba gor! J jomp an’ jomp all tam’

Bot jos’ can’t halp dat—dere she am!

Cos’ w’en som’ fellaire he say “Boo!”

Morgee! I jomp an’ holler, too.

Long tam’,’way back ma broder, Joe,

Hav’ gon’roun’ house, an’ off she go.

—Go bang, r-rat clos’ op side ma ear;

Sence w’en I ac’ dis way—dat queer!

I tak’ med’ceen—don’t geet som’ cure.

Gass I got jomp-ops now for sure.

An’ mos’ all tam’ som’ son er gon

T’ink mak’ me jomp—wal, dat ban fon.

I’ll tal yo’ wan t’ing dat ban true—

Las’ spreeng dey beeld dat r-ra’ltrack t’rough

R-rat pas’ ma house, an’ w’at yo’ s’pose?

Dem ra’ltrack fellaires, wal, he goes

Sot pos’ for whees-el side ma door,

An’ den—wal, p’rap I didn’t swore!

Wan tra’n com’ pas’ long jos’ ’bout noon,

An’ go “whoot-toot!” Wal, bamby, soon,

Wa’n’t no whol’ deeshes ’round—for why?

’Cos’, sacre, I jomp op sky-high

An’ keeck dat table’roun’ dat plac’

An’ lat som’ howl com’ off ma face.

Dat vife he skeer mos’ near on death,

An’ all dem shildreen hoi’ deir breath

For saw deir fadder ac’ lak’ dat

An’ geeve dose dinnaire wan beeg slat.

An’ wan tra’n she go pas’ on night,

Long ’bout de tarn’ I sle’p mos’ tight.

An’ w’en she whees-el, “Whoot-too-too!”

I jomp lak’ wil’ cat, I tal you.

I heet ma vife gre’t beeg hard slams

An’ black her eye mos’ seexteen tarn’s.

Till las’ she go off sle’p down stair,

—She say I worse as greezly bear,

Bot w’at yo’ t’ink? I swore dis true,

I nevaire know w’at t’ing I do.

Wal, w’en t’ings geet bos’ op dat way,

I ban saw ra’ltrack boss wan day.

I tal heem ’bout I poun’ ma vife,

—Can’t halp dat t’ing for save ma life—

An’ he—he blor-rt, lak’ wan gre’t caff,

An’ lean way back an’ laff an’ laff.

I don’t saw nottin’s dere for fon

’Bout havin’ dat ol’ ra’ltrack ron

Op pas’ ma house an’ hav’ dem car

Male’ me bos’ op ma home, ba gar!

I tol’ heem dat bam-by dat soun’

Ban mak’ me keeck dat whol’ house down.

“I’ll tal yo’ w’at,” say he bam-by,

—He wap’ hees eye off lak’ he cry—

“I’ll tol’ yo’ w’at dees ro’d weell do:

We’ll send op our construckshong crew,

We’ll beeld, to show dat we hain’t mean,

Wan good, beeg cage an’ pot yo’ een.”

Ba gar! Dat all I geet off heem!

—I weesh dey not fin’ out dat steam!