"Well, one evening my sister Jane and I went to a race-ball at Epsom, where, of course, we saw all the 'beauty and fashion,' as they say, of the country round, with plenty of the army men, who were in all their glory, with Waterloo and all that; we two or three poor nauticals being quite looked down upon in comparison, since Nelson was dead, and we had left ourselves nothing at the end to fight with. I even heard one belle ask a dragoon 'what uniform that was—was it the horse-artillery corps?' 'Haw!' said the dragoon, squinting at me through an eyeglass, and then looking with one eye at his spurs, and with the other at his partner, 'not at all sure! I do think, after all, Miss——, 'tis the—the marine body—a sort of amphibious animals! They weren't with us, though, you know—couldn't be, indeed, though it was Waterloo! Haw! haw! you'll excuse the joke, Miss——?' 'Ha! ha! how extremely witty, Captain——!' said the young lady, and they whirled away towards the other end of the hall. I never felt more inclined to pull a fellow's nose, till all of a sudden my head turned, and I forgot there was such a thing as a dragoon in the world, for I saw what I thought the loveliest young creature ever crossed my eyes, coming out of the refreshment-room with two ladies, an old and an elderly one. The first was finely dressed out, and I set her down for an aunt, she was so unlike; the other for a governess. The young lady was near sixteen to appearance, all in white. There were many beauties in the ball-room you would have called handsomer; but there was something about her altogether I could compare to nothing else but the white figure-head of the Iris, sliding gently along in the first curl of a breeze, with the morning sky far out on the bow—curious as you may think it, ladies! Her hair was brown, and her complexion remarkably pale notwithstanding; while her eyes were as dark blue, too, as—as the ocean near the line, that sometimes, in a clear calm, gets to melt till you scarcely know it from the sky. 'Look, Edward!' whispered my sister, 'what a pretty creature! She can't be English, she looks so different from everybody in the room. And such pearls in her hair! such a beautifully large diamond in that brooch! Who can she be, I wonder?' I was so taken up, however, that I never recollected at all what Jane said till at night, in thinking the matter over; and then a whole breeze of whisperings seemingly came from every corner of the cloakroom, of 'Who is she?' 'Who can she be?' 'Who's her father?' and so on, which I remembered to have heard. I only noticed at the time that somebody said she was the daughter of some rich East India nabob or other, just come home. A post-captain who was present—one of Collingwood's flag-lieutenants—went up to the old chaperon, whom he seemed to know, and got into talk with her: I found afterwards she was an admiral's widow. In a little I saw him introduced to the young lady, and ask her to dance; I fancied she hung back for a moment, but the next she bowed, gave a slight smile to the captain's gallant sea-fashion of deep respect to the sex, and they were soon swimming away in the first set. Her dancing was more like walking with spread wings upon air than upon planks with one's arms out, as the captain did. I'd have given my eyes, not to speak of my commission and chances to come, to have gone through that figure with her. When the captain had handed her to her seat again, two or three of the dragoons sauntered up to Lady Somers's sofa: it was plain they were taken; and after conversing with the old lady, one of them, Lord Somebody, as I understood, got introduced, in his turn, to the young beauty. As may be supposed, I kept a look-out for his asking her to dance, seeing that, if she had done so with one of the embroidered crew, and their clattering gear, I'd have gone out that instant, found out the Waterloo fellow next day, and, if not shot myself, have drilled him with an anchor button for a bullet, and run off in the first craft I could get. The cool, easy, impertinent way this second man made his request, though—just as if he couldn't be refused, and didn't care about it—it was as different from the captain of the Diomede's as red from blue! My heart went like the main-tack blocks thrashing when you luff too much; so you may guess what I felt to see the young lady, who was leaning back on the sofa, give her head a pettish sort of turn to the old one, without a word, as much as to say she didn't want to. 'My love!' I heard the old lady say, 'I fear you are tired! My Lord, your lordship must excuse Miss Hyde on this occasion, as she is in delicate health!' The dragoon was a polite nobleman, according to his cloth; so he kept on talking and smiling, till he could walk off without seeming as if he'd got his sabre betwixt his feet; but I fancied him a little down by the head when he did go. All the time the young beauty was sitting with her face as quiet and indifferent as may be, only there was a sparkle in her blue eyes, and in nothing else but the pearls in her hair, as she looked on at the dancing; and, to my eye, there was a touch of the rose came out on her pale cheek, clear though it was before the dragoon spoke to her. Not long after, an oldish gentleman came out with a grey-haired old general from the refreshment-room: a thin yellow-complexioned man he was, with no whiskers and bald forehead, and a bilious eye, but handsome, and his face as pompous and solemn-looking as if he'd been First Lord, or had got a whole court-martial on his shoulders for next day. I should have known him from a thousand for a man that had lived in the East, were it nothing but the quick way he looked over his shoulder for a servant or two, when he wanted his carriage called—no doubt just as one feels when he forgets he's ashore, like I did every now and then, looking up out to windward, and getting a garden-wall or a wood slap into one's eyesight, as 'twere. I laid down the old gentleman at once for this said nabob; in fact, as soon as a footman told him his carriage was waiting, he walked up to the young lady and her companions, and went off with them, a steward and a lady patroness convoying them to the break of the steps. The only notion that ran in my head, on the way home that night with my sister, was, 'By heavens! I might just as well be in love with the bit of sky at the end of the flying-jibboom!' and all the while the confounded wheels kept droning it into me, till I was as dizzy as the first time I looked over the fore-royal-yard. The whole night long I dreamt I was mad after the figure-head of the Iris, and asked her to dance with me, on which she turned round with a look as cold as water, or plain 'No.' At last I caught firm hold of her and jumped overboard; and next moment we were heaving on the blue swell in sight of the black old Guinea coast—when round turned the figure and changed into Miss Hyde; and the old nabob hauled us ashore upon a beautiful island, where I woke and thought I was wanted on deck, although it was only my mother calling me.
"All I had found out about them was, that Sir Charles Hyde was the name of the East Indian, and how he was a Bengal judge newly come home; where they lived, nobody at the ball seemed to know. At home, of course, it was so absurd to think of getting acquainted with a rich Indian judge and his daughter, that I said no more of the matter; although I looked so foolish and care-about-nothing, I suppose, that my mother said to Jane she was sure I wanted to go to sea again, and even urged me to 'take a trip to the Downs, perhaps.' As for going to sea, however, I felt I could no more stir, then, from where I was, than with a best bower down, and all hands drunk but the captain. There was a favourite lazy spot of mine near the house, where I used to lie after dinner, and puff away amongst the grass, at the back of a high garden-wall with two doors in it, and a plank across a little brook running close under them. All round was a green paddock for cows; there was a tall tree at hand, which I climbed now and then half-mast high, to get a look down a long lane that ran level to the sky, and gave you a sharp gush of blue from the far end. Being a luxurious dog in those days, like the cloth in general when hung up ashore, I used to call it 'The Idler's Walk,' and 'The Lazy Watch,' where I did duty somewhat like the famous bo'sun that told his boy to call him every night and say the captain wanted him, when he turned over with a polite message, and no good to the old tyrant's eyes.
"Well, one afternoon I was stretched on the softest bit of this retreat, feeling unhappy all over, and trying to think of nothing in particular, as I looked at the wall and smoked my cheroot. Excuse me if I think that, so far as I remember, there is nothing so consolatory, though it can't of course cure one, as a fine Manilla for the 'green sickness,' as our foremast fellows would say. My main idea was that nothing on earth could turn up to get me out of this scrape, but I should stick eternally, with my head sails shivering aback, or flapping in a sickening dead calm. It was a beautiful hot summer afternoon, as quiet as possible, and I was weary to death of seeing that shadow of the branch lying against the white wall, down to the keyhole of the nearest door. All of a sudden I heard the sweetest voice imaginable, coming down the garden as it were, singing a verse of a Hindostanee song I had heard the Bengal girls chant with their pitchers on their heads at the well, of an evening:
La li ta la, ta perisi,
La na comalay ah sahm-rÈ,
Madna, ca—rahm
Ram li ta, co-ca-la lir jhi!
La li ta la, vanga-la ta perisi.
'Coc-coka-cokatoo!' screamed a harsh voice, which I certainly could distinguish from the first. 'Pretty cockatoo!' said the other coaxingly; and the next minute the large pink-flushed bird itself popped his head over the top-stones above the door, floundering about with his throat foul of the silver chain fast to his leg, till he hung by his beak on my side of the wall, half-choked, and trying to croak out—'Pretty—pretty cocky!' Before I had time to think, the door opened, and, by heavens! there was my very charmer herself, with the shade of the green leaves showered over her distressed face. She had scarcely seen me before I sprang up and caught the cockatoo, which bit me like an imp incarnate, till the blood ran down my fingers as I handed it to its mistress, my heart in my mouth, and more than a quarter-deck bow in my cap. The young lady looked at me first in surprise, as may be supposed, and then, with a smile of thanks that set my brain all afloat, 'Oh, dear me!' exclaimed she, 'you are hurt!' 'Hurt!' I said, looking so bewildered, I suppose, that she couldn't help laughing. 'Tippoo is very stupid,' continued she, smiling, 'because he is out of his own country, I think. You shall have no sugar to-night, mister cockatoo, for biting your friends.'
"'Were you—ever in India—madam?' I stammered out. 'Not since I was a child,' she answered; but just then I saw the figure of the nabob sauntering down the garden, and said I had particular business and must be off. 'You are very busy here, sir?' said the charming young creature archly. 'You are longing till you go to sea, I daresay—like Tippoo and me.' 'You?' said I, staring at the keyhole whilst she caught my eye, and blushed a little, as I thought 'Yes, we are going—I long to see India again, and I remember the sea, too, like a dream.'
"Oh, heavens! thought I, when I heard the old gentleman call out—'Lota! Lota, beebee-lee! Kabultah, meetoowah?' 6 and away she vanished behind the door, with a smile dropped to myself. The tone of the judge's voice, and his speaking Hindoo, showed he was fond of his daughter at any rate. Off I went, too, as much confused as before, only for the new thought in my head. 'The sea, the sea!' I shouted, as soon as out of hearing, and felt the wind, as 'twere, coming from aft at last, like the first ripple. 'Yes, by George!' said I, 'outward bound for a thousand. I'll go, if it was before the mast.' All at once I remembered I didn't know the ship's name, or when. Next day, and the next again, I was skulking about my old place, but nobody appeared—not so much as a shadow inside the keyhole. At last one evening, just as I was going away, the door opened; I strolled slowly along, when, instead of the charming Lota, out came the flat brown turban of an ugly kitmagar, with a moustache, looking round to see who was there. 'Salaam, sah'b,' said the brown fellow, holding the door behind him with one paw. 'Burra judge sahib bhote bhote salaam send uppiser 7 sah'b—'ope not dekhe 8 after sahib cook-maid.' 'Joot baht, hurkut-jee,' 9 said I, laughing. 'Sah'b been my coontree?' inquired the Bengalee more politely. 'Jee, yes,' I said, wishing to draw him out 'I Inglitsh can is-peek,' continued the dark footman, conceitedly; 'ver well sah'b, but one misfortune us for come i-here. Baud carry make—plenty too much poork—too much graug drink. Termeric—chili—banana not got—not coco-tree got—pah! Baud coontree, too much i-cold, sah'b?' 'Curse the rascal's impudence,' I thought, but I asked him if he wasn't going back. 'Yis, sah'b, such baht 10 Al-il alÁh? Mohummud burra Meer-kea. Bote too much i-smell, my coontree.' 'When are you going?' I asked, carelessly. 'Two day this time, sah'b.' 'Can you tell me the name of the ship?' I went on. The kitmagar looked at me slyly, stroked his moustache, and meditated; after which he squinted at me again, and his lips opened so as to form the magic word, Buckshish? 'Jee,' said I, holding out a crown piece, 'the ship's name and the harbour?' 'Se,' began he; the coin touched his palm—'ring'; his fingers closed on it, and 'patahm,' dropped from his leathery lips. 'The Seringapatam?' I said. 'Ahn, sah'b.' 'London, eh?' I added; to which he returned another reluctant assent, as if it wasn't paid for, and I walked off. However, I had not got round the corner before I noticed the figure of the old gentleman himself looking after me from the doorway; his worthy kitmagar salaaming to the ground, and no doubt giving information how the 'cheep uppiser' had tried to pump him to no purpose. The nabob looked plainly as suspicious as if I had wanted to break into his house, since he held his hand over his eyes to watch me out of sight.
"At night, I told my mother and sister I should be off to London next day for sea. What betwixt their vexation at losing me, and their satisfaction to see me more cheerful, with talking over matters, we sat up half the night. I was so ashamed, though, to tell them what I intended, considering what a fool's chase it would seem to anyone but myself, that I kept all close; and, I am sorry to say, I was so full of my love-affair, with the wild adventure of it, the sea, and everything besides, as not to feel their anxiety enough. How it was to turn out I didn't know; but somehow or other I was resolved I'd contrive to make a rope if I couldn't find one; at the worst, I might carry the ship, gain over the men, or turn pirate and discover an island. Early in the morning I packed my traps, drew a cheque for my prize-money, got the coach, and bowled off for London, to knock up Bob Jacobs, my sea godfather; this being the very first step, as it seemed to me, in making the plan feasible. Rough sort of confidant as he may look, there was no man living I would have trusted before him for keeping a secret. Bob was true as the topsail sheets; and if you only gave him the course to steer, without any of the 'puzzlement,' as he called the calculating part, he would stick to it, blow high, blow low. He was just the fellow I wanted for the lee brace, as it were, to give my weather one a purchase, even if I had altogether liked the notion of setting off all alone on what I couldn't help suspecting was a sufficiently harebrained scheme as it stood; and, to tell the truth, it was only to a straightforward, simple-hearted tar like Jacobs that I could have plucked up courage to make it known. I knew he would enter into it like a reefer volunteering for a cutting out, and make nothing of the difficulties—especially when a love matter was at the bottom of it: the chief question was how to discover his whereabouts, as Wapping is rather a wide word. I adopted the expedient of going into all the tobacco-shops to inquire after Jacobs, knowing him to be a more than commonly hard smoker, and no great drinker ashore. I was beginning to be tired out, however, and give up the quest, when, at the corner of a lane near the docks, I caught sight of a little door adorned with what had apparently been part of a ship's figure-head—the face of a nymph or nereid, four times as large as life, with tarnished gilding, and a long wooden pipe in her mouth that had all the effect of a bowsprit, being stayed up by a piece of marline to a hook in the wall, probably in order to keep clear of people's heads. The words painted on its two head-boards, as under a ship's bow, were 'Betsy Jacobs,' and 'licensed' on the top of the door; the window was stowed full of cakes of cavendish, twists of negrohead, and coils of pigtail; so that, having heard my old shipmate speak of a certain Betsy, both as sweetheart and partner, I made at once pretty sure of having lighted, by chance, on his very dry-dock, and went in without more ado. I found nobody in the little shop, but a rough voice, as like as possible to Jacobs' own, was chanting the sea-song of 'Come, cheer up, my lads, 'tis to glory we steer,' in the back-room, in a curious sleepy kind of drone, interrupted every now and then by the suck of his pipe, and a mysterious thumping sound, which I could only account for by the supposition that the poor fellow was mangling clothes, or gone mad. I was obliged to kick on the counter with all my might, in competition, before an eye was applied from inside to the little window; after which, as I expected, the head of Jacobs was thrust out of the door, his hair rough, three days' beard on his chin, and he in his shirt and trousers. 'Hisht!' said he, in a low voice, not seeing me distinctly for the light, 'you're not calling the watch, my lad! Hold on a bit, and I'll serve your orders directly.' After another stave of 'Hearts of oak are our ships,' etc., in the same drawl, and a still more vigorous thumping than before, next minute out came Bob again; with a wonderful air of importance, though, and drawing in one hand, to my great surprise, the slack of a line of 'half-inch,' on which he gave now and then a tug and an ease off, as he came forward, like a fellow humouring a newly-hooked fish. 'Now, then, my hearty!' said he, shading his eyes with the other hand, 'bear a——' 'Why, Jacobs, old ship,' I said, 'what's this you're after? Don't you know your old apprentice, eh?'
"Jacobs looked at my cap and epaulette, and gave out his breath in a whistle, the only other sign of astonishment being that he let go his unaccountable-looking piece of cord. 'Lord bless me, Master Ned!' said he—'I axes pardon, Lieutenant Collins, your honour!' 'Glad you know me this time, Bob, my lad, 'said I, looking round—'and a comfortable berth you've got of it, I daresay. But what the deuce are you about in there? You haven't a savage, too, like some friends of yours I fell in with a short time ago! Or perhaps a lion or a tiger, eh, Jacobs?' 'No, no, your honour—lions be blowed!' replied he, laughing, but fiddling with his hands all the while, and standing between me and the room, as if half-ashamed. ''Tis ownly the tiller-ropes of a small craft I am left in charge of, sir. But won't ye sit down, your honour, till such time as my old 'ooman comes aboard to relieve me, sir? Here's a cheer, and may be you'd make so free for to take a pipe of prime Americane, your honour?' 'Let's have a look into your cabin though, Bob, my man,' said I, curious to know what was the secret; when all at once a tremendous squall from within let me sufficiently into it. The old salt had been rocking the cradle, with a fine little fellow of a baby in it, and a line made fast to keep it in play when he served the shop. 'All the pitch is in the fire now, your honour,' said he, looking terribly nonplussed; 'I've broached him to, and he's all aback till his mammy gets a hold of him.' 'A good pipe the little rogue's got though,' said I; 'and a fine child he is, Jacobs—do for a bo'sun yet.' 'Why, yes, sir,' said he, rubbing his chin with a gratified smile, as the urchin kicked, threw out his arms, and roared like to break his heart; 'I'm thinking he's a sailor all over, by natur', as one may say. He don't like a calm no more nor myself; but that's the odds of being ashore, where you needs to keep swinging the hammocks by hand, instead of havin' it done for you, sir.' In the midst of the noise, however, we were caught by the sudden appearance of Mistress Jacobs herself—a good-looking young woman, with a market-basket full of bacon and greens, and a chubby little boy holding by her apron, who came through the shop. The first thing she did was to catch up the baby out of the cradle, and begin hushing it, after one or two side-glances of reproach at her husband, who attempted to cover his disgrace by saying, 'Betsy, my girl, where's your manners? why don't you off hats to the leftenant?—it's my wife, your honour.' Mrs Jacobs curtsied twice very respectfully, though not particularly fond of the profession, as I found afterwards; and I soon quite gained her smiles and good graces by praising her child, with the remark that he was too pretty ever to turn out a sailor; for, sharp as mothers are to detect this sort of flattery to anybody else's bantling, you always find it take wonderfully with respect to their own. Whenever Jacobs and I were left to ourselves, I struck at once into my scheme—the more readily for feeling I had the weather hand of him in regard of his late appearance. It was too ridiculous, the notion of one of the best foretopmen that ever passed a weather-earing staying at home to rock his wife's cradle and attend the shop; and he was evidently aware of it as I went on. It was a little selfish, I daresay, and Mrs Jacobs would perhaps have liked me none the better for it; but I proposed to him to get a berth in the Indiaman, sail with me for Bombay, and stand by for a foul hitch in something or other. 'Why, sir,' said he,' it shan't be said of Bob Jacobs he were ever the man to hang back where a matter was to be done that must be done. I doesn't see the whole bearings of it as yet, but ownly you give the orders, sir, and I'll stick to 'em.' ''Tis a long stretch between this and Bombay, Jacobs,' said I, 'and plenty of room for chances.' 'Ay, ay, sir, no doubt,' said he, 'your honour can talk the length of the best bower cable.' 'More than that, Bob, my lad,' said I, 'I know these Company men; if they once get out of their regular jog, they're as helpless as a pig adrift on a grating; and before they grow used to sailing out of convoy, with no frigates to whip them in, depend upon it Mother Carey will have to teach them a new trick or two.' 'Mayhap, sir,' put in Jacobs, doubtfully, 'the best thing 'ud be if they cast the ship away altogether, as I've seen done myself for the matter of an insurance. Ye know, sir, they lets it pass at Lloyd's now the war's over, seein' it brings customers to the underwriters, if so be ownly it don't come over often for the profits. Hows'ever it needs a good seaman to choose his lee-shore well, no doubt.' 'Oh!' answered I, laughing, 'but the chances are, all hands would want to be Robinson Crusoe at once! No, no—only let's get aboard, and take things as they come.' 'What's the ship's name, sir?' inquired Jacobs, sinking his voice, and looking cautiously over his shoulder toward the door. 'The Seringapatam—do you know her?' I said. 'Ay, ay, sir, well enough,' said he, readily—'a lump of a ship she is, down off Blackwall in the stream, with two more—country-built, and tumbles home rather much from below the plank-sheer for a sightly craft, besides being flat in the eyes of her, and round in the counter, just where she shouldn't, sir. Them Parchee Bombay shipwrights does clap on a lot of onchristien flummeries and gilt mouldings, let alone quarter-galleries fit for the king's castle!' 'In short, she's tea-waggon all over,' said I, 'and just as slow and as leewardly, to boot, as teak can make her?' 'Her lines is not that bad, though, your honour,' continued Jacobs, 'if you just knocked off her poop—and she'd bear a deal o' beating for a sea-boat. They've got a smart young mate, too; for I seed him t'other day a-sending up the yards, and now she's as square as a frigate, all ready to drop down river.' The short and long of it was, that I arranged with my old shipmate, who was fully bent on the cruise, whether Mrs Jacobs should approve or not, that, somehow or other, we should both ship our hammocks on board of the Seringapatam—he before the mast, and I wherever I could get. On going to the agent's, however—which I did as soon as I could change my uniform for plain clothes—I found, to my great disappointment, from a plan of the accommodations, that not only were the whole of the poop-cabins taken, but those on the main-deck also. Most of the passengers, I ascertained, were ladies, with their children and nurses, going back to India, and raw young cadets, with a few commercial and civilian nondescripts; there were no troops or officers, and room enough, except for one gentleman having engaged the entire poop, at an immense expense, for his own use. This I, of course, supposed was the nabob, but the clerk was too close to inform me. 'You must try another ship, sir,' said he, coolly, as he shut the book. 'Sorry for it, but we have another booked to sail in a fortnight. A1, sir; far finer vessel—couple of hundred tons larger—and sails faster.' 'You be hanged!' muttered I, walking out; and a short time after I was on board. The stewards told me as much again; but on my slipping a guinea into the fingers of one, he suddenly recollected there was a gentleman in state-room No. 14, starboard side of the main skylight, who, being alone, might perhaps be inclined to take a chum, if I dealt with him privately. 'Yankee, sir, he is,' said the steward, by way of a useful hint. However, I didn't need the warning, at sight of the individual's long nose, thin lips, and sallow jaw-bones, without a whisker on his face, and his shirt-collar turned down, as he sat overhauling his traps beside the carronade, which was tethered in the state-room, with its muzzle through the port. He looked a good deal like a jockey beside his horse; or, as a wit of a schoolboy cadet said afterwards, the Boston gentleman, calling himself Daniel C. Snout, Esquire—like Daniel praying in the lion's den, and afraid it might turn round and roar. I must say the idea didn't quite delight me, nor the sight of a fearful quantity of baggage which was stowed up against the bulkhead; but after introducing myself and objecting to the first few offers, I at last concluded a bargain with the American for a hundred guineas, provisions exclusive, which, he remarked, was 'considerable low, I prognosticate, mister!' 'However,' said he, 'I expect you're a conversationable individual a little: I allowed for that, you know, mister. One can't do much of a trade at sea—that's a fact; and I calculate we'll swap information by the way. I'm water-pruff, I tell you, as all our nation is. You'll not settle at Bumbay, I reckon, mister?' But though I meant to pay my new messmate in my own coin at leisure afterwards, and be as frank and open as day with him—the only way to meet a Yankee—I made off at present as fast as possible to bring my things aboard, resolving to sleep at Blackwall, and then to stow myself out of sight for sick, until there was somebody to take off the edge of his confounded talk.
"Next afternoon, accordingly, I found myself once more afloat, the Indiaman dropping down with the first breeze. The day after, she was running through the Downs with it pretty strong from north-east, a fair wind—the pilot-boat snoring off close-hauled to windward, with a white spray over her nose; and the three dungaree topsails of the Seringapatam lifting and swelling, as yellow as gold, over her white courses in the blue Channel haze. The breeze freshened till she rolled before it, and everything being topsyturvy on deck, the lumber in the way, the men as busy as bees setting her ship-shape—it would have been as much as a passenger's toes were worth to show them from below; so that I was able to keep by myself, just troubling my seamanship so much as to stand clear of the work. Enjoy it I did, too; the first sniff of the weather was almost enough to make me forget what I was there for. I was every now and then on the point of fisting a rope, and singing out to the men; till at length I thought it more comfortable, even for me, to run up the mizzen shrouds when everybody was forward, where I stowed myself out of sight in the cross-trees.
"About dusk, while I was waiting to slip down, a stronger puff than ordinary made them clue up the mizzen-royal from deck, which I took upon myself to furl offhand—quick enough to puzzle a couple of boys that came aloft for the purpose, especially as, in the meantime, I had got down upon the topsail-yard-arm out of their notice. When they got on deck again, I heard the little fellows telling some of the men, in a terrified sort of way, how the mizzen-royal had either stowed itself, or else it was Dick Wilson's ghost, that fell off the same yard last voyage—more by token, he used always to make fast the gaskets just that fashion. At night, however, the wind having got lighter, with half moonlight, there was a muster of some passengers on deck, all sick and miserable, as they tried to keep their feet, and have the benefit of air—the Yankee being as bad as the worst. I thought it wouldn't do for me to be altogether free, and accordingly stuck fast by Mr Snout, with my head over the quarter-deck bulwarks, looking into his face, and talking away to him, asking all sorts of questions about what was good for sea-sickness, then giving a groan to prevent myself laughing, when the spray splashed up upon his 'water-pruff' face, he responding to it as Sancho Panza did to Don Quixote, when the one examined the other's mouth after a potion. All he could falter out was, how he wondered I could speak at all when sick. 'Oh! oh dear!' said I with another howl. 'Yes—'tis merely because I can't think! And I daresay you are thinking so much you can't talk—the sea is so full of meditation, as Lord Byron——oh—oh—this water will be the death of me!' 'I feel as if—the whole—tarnation Atlantic was—inside of my bowels!' gasped he through his nostrils. 'Oh!' I could not help putting in, as the ship and Mr Snout both gave a heave up, 'and coming out of you!'
"During all this time I had felt so sure of my ground as scarcely to trouble myself about the Bengal judge and his treasure of a daughter; only in the midst of the high spirits brought up by the breeze, I hugged myself now and then at the thought of their turning out by degrees as things got settled. Nobody would suspect the raw chap I looked, with smooth hair and a high collar, of any particular cue: I must say there was a little vanity at the bottom of it, but I kept thinking more and more how snug and quietly I'd enjoy all that went on, sailing on one tack with the passengers and the old nabob himself, and slipping off upon the other when I could come near the charming young Lota. The notion looks more like what some scamp of a reefer, cruising ashore, would have hit upon, than suits my taste nowadays; but the cockpit had put a spice of the imp in me, which I never got clear of till this very voyage, as you'll see, if we get through the log of it.
"The first time I went down into the cuddy was that evening to tea, where all was at sixes and sevens like the decks; the lamps ill-trimmed, stewards out of the way, and a few lads trying to bear up against their stomachs by the help of brandy and biscuits. The main figure was a jolly-looking East Indian, an indigo-planter, as he turned out, with a bald forehead, a hook nose, and his gills covered with white whiskers that gave him all the cut of a cockatoo. He had his brown servant running about on every hand, and being an old stager, did his best to cheer up the rest; but nothing I saw showed the least sign of the party I looked after. I was sure I ought to have made out something of them by this time, considering the stir such a grandee as Sir Charles Hyde would cause aboard; in fact, there didn't seem to be many passengers in her, and I began to curse the lying scoundrel of a kitmagar for working 'Tom Cox's traverse' on me, and myself for being a greater ass than I'd fancied. Indeed, I heard the planter mention by chance that Sir Charles Hyde, the district judge, had come home last voyage from India in this very Seringapatam, which, no doubt, I thought, put the Mahommedan rascal up to his trick.
"I was making up my mind to an Indian trip, and the pure pleasure of Daniel Catoson Snout, Esquire's, company for two blessed months, when all of a sudden I felt the ship bring her wind a-quarter, with a furious plunge of the Channel water along her bends, that made every landman's bowels yearn as if he felt it gurgle through him. One young fellow, more drunk than sick, gave a wild bolt right over the cuddy table, striking out with both arms and legs as if afloat, so as to sweep half of the glasses down on the floor. The planter, who was three cloths in the wind himself, looked down upon him with a comical air of pity as soon as he had got cushioned upon the wreck. 'My dear fellow,' said he, 'what do you feel—eh?' 'Feel, you—old blackguard!' stammered the griffin, 'I feel everything! Goes through—through my vitals as if—I was a con—founded whale! C—can't stand it!' 'You've drunk yourself aground, my boy!' sung out the indigo-man; 'stuck fast on the coral—eh? Never mind, we'll float you off, only don't flounder that way with your tail!—by George, you scamp, you've ruined my toe—oh dear!' I left the planter hopping round on one pin, and holding the gouty one in his hand, betwixt laughing and crying; on deck I found the floating Nab Light bearing broad on our lee-bow, with Cumberland Fort glimmering to windward, and the half-moon setting over the Isle of Wight, while we stood up for Portsmouth Harbour. The old captain, and most of the officers, were on the poop for the first time, though as stiff and uncomfortable from the sort of land-sickness and lumber-qualms that sailors feel till things are in their places, as the landsmen did until things were out of them. The skipper walked the weather side by himself and said nothing; the smart chief officer sent two men, one after another, from the wheel for 'cows' that didn't know where their tails were; and as for the middies, they seemed to know when to keep out of the way. In a little, the spars of the men-of-war at Spithead were to be seen as we rose on a sea; before the end of the first watch, we were running outside the Spit Buoy, which was nodding and plashing with the tide in the last slant of moonshine, till at last we rounded to, and down went the anchor in five fathoms, off the Motherbank. What the Indiaman wanted at Portsmouth I didn't know; but, meantime, I had given up all hopes of the nabob being in her, and the only question with me was, whether I should take the opportunity of giving all hands the slip here, even though I left my Yankee friend disconsolate, and a clear gainer by dollars beyond count.
"Early next morning there were plenty of wherries looking out for fares; so, as the Indiaman was not to sail before the night-ebb, when the breeze would probably spring up fair again, I hailed one of them to go ashore at the point, for a quiet stroll over Southsea Common, where I meant to overhaul the whole bearings of the case, and think if it weren't better to go home, and wait the Admiralty's pleasure for a ship. I hadn't even seen anything of Jacobs, and the whole hotel-keeping ways of the Indiaman began to disgust me, or else I should have at once decided to take the chance of seeing Lota Hyde somehow or other in India; but, again, one could scarcely endure the notion of droning on in a frigate without so much as a Brest lugger to let drive at. It was about six o'clock; the morning-gun from the guard-ship off the dock-yard came booming down through the harbour, the blue offing shone like silver, and the green tideway sparkled on every surge, up to where they were flashing and poppling on the copper of the frigates at Spithead. I noticed them crossing yards and squaring; the farthest out hove up anchor, loosed fore-topsail, cast her head to starboard, and fired a gun as she stood slowly out to sea under all sail, with a light air freshening abeam. The noble look of her almost reconciled me of itself to the service, were it for the mere sake of having a share in driving such a craft between wind and water. Just then, however, an incident turned up in spite of me, which I certainly didn't expect, and which had more, even than I reckoned at the time, to do with my other adventure; seeing that it made me, both then and afterwards, do the direct opposite of what I meant to do, and both times put a new spoke in my wheel, as we say at sea here.
"I had observed a seventy-four, the Stratton, lying opposite the Spit Buoy, on board of which, as the waterman told me, a court-martial had been held the day before, where they broke a first lieutenant for insulting his captain. Both belonged to one of the frigates: the captain I had seen, and heard of as the worst tyrant in the navy; his ship was called a 'perfect hell afloat'; that same week one of the boys had tried to drown himself alongside, and a corporal of marines, after coming ashore and drinking a glass with his sweetheart, had coolly walked down to the point, jumped in between two boats and the jetty, and kept himself under water till he was dead. The lieutenant had been dismissed the service, and as I recognised the name, I wondered whether it could actually be my schoolfellow, Tom Westwood, as gallant a fellow and as merry as ever broke biscuit. Two sail-boats, one from around the Stratton's quarter, and the other from over by Gosport, steering on the same tack for Southsea, turned my attention as I sauntered down to the beach. The bow of the nearest wherry grounded on the stones as I began to walk quicker towards the town-gates, chiefly because I was pretty ready for an early breakfast at the old Blue Posts, and also because I had a slight notion of what these gentlemen wanted on Southsea Beach at odd hours. Out they jumped, however—one man in naval undress, another a captain in full fig, the third a surgeon—coming right athwart my course to bring me to. The first I almost at once remembered for the notorious captain of the Orestes, or N'Oreste, as the midshipmen called her, from her French build and her character altogether. 'Hallo, you sir!' said the other captain, decidedly, 'you must stand still.' 'Indeed,' said I; 'and why so, if you please?' 'Since you are here, we don't intend allowing you to pass for some few minutes.' 'And what if I should do as I choose, sir?' I asked. 'If you stir two steps, sir, I shall shoot you,' replied the captain, who was one of the bullying school. 'Oh, very well,' I said, rather confounded by his impertinence, 'then I shall stay'; and I accordingly stood stock-still, with my arms folded, until the other boat landed a party of two. They were in plain clothes; nor did I give them any particular heed till the seconds had stationed their men, when the captain of the Orestes had his back to me, and his antagonist stood directly facing. As his pale resolved features came out before me with the morning sun on them, his lips together, and his nostrils large, I recognised my old friend Westwood. The captain had broke him the day before, and now had accepted his challenge, being a known dead shot, while the lieutenant had never fired a bullet in cold blood; there was, no doubt, a settled purpose in the tyrant to crush the first man that had dared to thwart his will. Westwood's second came forward and mentioned to the other that his friend was still willing to withdraw the words spoken in first heat, and would accordingly fire in the air. 'Coward!' shouted the captain of the Orestes immediately, 'I shall shoot you through the heart!' 'Sir,' said I to his second, 'I will not look on; and if that gentleman is shot, I will be witness against you both as murderers.' I dropped down behind a stone out of the line of fire, and to keep my eyes off the devilish piece of work, though my blood boiled to knock the fellow down that I was speaking to. Another minute, and the suspense was too great for me to help looking up. Just at that moment I saw how set Westwood's face was; he was watching his enemy with an eye that showed to me what the other's must be—seeking for his life. The seconds gave the word to each other in the middle, and dropped two white handkerchiefs at once with their hands together; I caught the flash of Westwood's pistol, when, to my astonishment, I saw the captain of the Orestes next moment jerk up his arm betwixt me and the sky, fire in the air, and slowly fall back—he was dead!—shot through the heart. One glance at his face gave you a notion of the devilish meaning he had had; but what was my surprise when his second walked up to Westwood, and said to him, 'Sir, you are the murderer of Captain Duncombe—my friend fired in the air as you proposed.' 'You are mistaken, sir,' answered Westwood, coldly; 'Captain Duncombe sought my life, and I have used the privilege of self-defence.' 'The surgeon is of my opinion,' said the other; 'and I am sorry to say that we cannot allow you to depart.' 'I shall give myself up to the authorities at once,' said Westwood. 'We have only your word for that, which I must be permitted, in such a case, to doubt,' replied the captain, whose evident wish it was to detain Westwood by force or threats while he sent off his surgeon. The worst of it was, as I now found, that since the court-martial and the challenge, an Admiralty order had arrived, in consideration of several gallant acts during the war, as well as private representation, restoring him to the service; so that he had, in fact, called out and shot his superior officer. As for the charge now brought forward, it was too absurd for any to believe it, unless from rage or prejudice; the case was bad enough, at any rate, without it.
"In the meantime I had exchanged a word or two with Westwood's friend; after which, lifting a second pistol which lay on the sand, I went up to the captain. 'Sir,' said I, 'you used the freedom, a little ago, of forcing me into your concerns, and I have seen the end of it. I have now got to tell you, having watched your conduct, that either you must submit to be made fast here for a bit, else, by the God that made me, I'll shoot you through the head.' The captain looked at me, his surgeon sidled up to him; and being a man near my own size, he suddenly tried to wrench the pistol out of my hands. However, I had him the next moment under my knee, while Westwood's second secured the little surgeon, and took a few round sea-turns about his wrists and ankles with a neckerchief. My companion then gave me a hand to do the same with his superior officer—the medico all the time singing out like a bull, and the captain threatening—while the dead body lay stark and stiff behind us, the eyes wide, the head down, and the breast up, the hand clenching a pistol, just as he had fallen. Westwood stood quite unconscious of everything we did, only he seemed to be watching the knees drawn up as they stiffened, and the sand-flies gathering about the mouth. 'Shall we clap a stopper between their teeth?' said the second to me—he had been at sea, but who he was I never knew—'the surgeon will be heard on the walls, he bellows so!' 'Never mind,' said I, 'we'll just drop them beyond tide-mark—the lee of the stones yonder.' In fact, from the noise the tide was making, I question if the shots could have been heard even by the watermen, who had prudently sheered out of sight round a point. I couldn't help looking, when we had done this, from the captain's body to his own frigate, as she was sluing round head on to us, at single anchor, to the turn of tide, with her buoy dancing on the brisk blue sweep of water, and her figure-head shining in the sunlight. As soon as we had covered over the corpse with tangle, Westwood started as if we had taken something away from him, or freed him of a spell. 'Westwood!' said I, laying my hand on his shoulder, 'you must come along with me.' He said nothing, but followed us quietly round to the wherries, where I told the watermen that the other party had gone a different way to keep clear, and we wanted them to pull for Gosport. At Gosport we had Westwood rigged out in black clothes, his hair cropped, and whiskers shaved off—as I thought it the fittest thing for his case, and what he could best carry out, to go aboard of the Indiaman with me as if he were a missionary. Poor fellow! he didn't well know what he was. So, having waited till dusk, to let the watermen lose our track, and his friend having posted off for Dover, he and I both got safe over to the Seringapatam, where I had him stowed in the first convenient state-room I could find. I had actually forgot, through the excitement, all about having missed my first chase; from one hour to another I kept watching the tide-marks ashore, and the dog-vane on the ship's quarter, all impatience to hear the word given for 'all hands up anchor,' and hoping our worthy friends on Southsea Beach were still lying within hearing of the Channel flood. At last the order did come; round went the capstan merrily enough, till she had hove short and up with fore-topsail set; the anchor was catted, and off went the lumbering old craft through the Solent about midnight, before a fine rattling breeze, in company with six or seven others, all running for the Needles. They were loosing the Indiaman's royals when I heard a gun from the guard-ship in harbour; and a little after up went a rocket, signalling to some frigate or other at Spithead; away they kept at it, with lights from the telegraph to her mast-head, for several minutes. 'All's up!' thought I, 'and both Westwood and myself are in for it!'
"Next morning at daybreak, accordingly, no sooner did the dawn serve to show us Portland Light going out on the weather quarter, with a whole fleet of Channel craft and Mediterranean brigs about us, we surging through it as fast as the Indiaman could go—than there was a fine forty-four standing off and on right in our course, in fact the very identical Orestes herself! She picked us out in a moment—bore up, stood across our weather-bow, and hailed. 'What ship's that?' said the first luff in her mizzen rigging.
"'The Seringapatam, Honourable Company's ship, Captain Williamson!' sung out our first officer, with his cap off. 'Heave to, till I send a boat aboard of you,' hailed the naval man, and there we bobbed to each other with mainyards backed. In a few minutes a master's mate with gig's crew was under our lee-quarter, and the mate came on deck. 'Sir,' said he, 'the Port Admiral will thank you to deliver these despatches for Sir Charles Hyde, who I believe is aboard.' 'Certainly, sir,' said the first officer, 'they shall be given to him in an hour's time.'
"'Good morning, and a fine voyage,' said the master's mate politely; and I took the occasion of asking if Captain Duncombe were on board the Orestes. 'No, sir,' answered the midshipman, 'he happens to be ashore at present.' I have seldom felt so relieved as when I saw the frigate haul round her main-yard, and go sweeping off to leeward, while we resumed our course. By noon we had sunk the land about Start Point, with a breeze which it was no use wasting at that season to take 'departures'; and as the afternoon set in hazy, we were soon out of sight of old England for good. For my part, I was bound eastward at last with a witness, and, like a young bear again, 'all my troubles before me.'
"There is two bells though," interrupted the narrator, starting. "Let us see what sort of night it is before the ladies retire."