The Tinker I have before mentioned, not knowing the house where he had been so nobly entertained, and which he only took for a vision, and often walking that road and crying old brass to mend, had been called in to work, and was often asked various questions by the servants, and as often told them his imaginary vision; but they giving him no strong liquor, he often complained of it in the town, saying, "Though some had praised Sir John's liberality, and how free he was of his liquor, yet for his own part, he could say no such thing, as having ever found him so stingy and niggardly, that not so much as one sup of his famed March or October beer could he get." This being babbled about came to the Courtier's ears, who was resolved to punish his sauciness, though in a comical way. So one day as he was passing by, he ordered him to be called in to do some work; and after he had done it to come to him (as having laid all his schemes with his servants beforehand). "Come, old fellow," said he, "you look as if you were as dry as Vulcan. What say you if I should order you where you may have your fill of good drink? Would not you be glad of it?" "Ay, master," said he, making a nod and a scrape, "God's blessing on your heart for it, and I thank you too."

Upon this he ordered his butler to have him down, and be sure not to stint him, and let him have his full swill. They instantly went, and the Tinker followed them very joyfully. But they had no sooner gotten him down, but shutting to the door close, they ordered him to strip immediately; at the which he much wondered, and began to make excuses on account of the blackness of his hide, which would be very undecent and unseemly. But they pretended it was the way of the cellar, when a new comer was to be made free of it, but never after, how oft soever he came. He being willing to comply, that he might have his skin full of good liquor, that might prove both as meat and cloth to him, off went his leathern doublet, breeches, shoes, stockings, and hat; as for shirt he had none, having pawned it to his hostess that morning for three noggins of brandy. Then taking a frisk or two in a merry vein, they surprisingly whipped him up by the heels, and put him into a full butt of strong beer, the upper head being taken up for that purpose. So he dipped over head and ears like a duck that dives. Yet after he had recovered his legs, it was but just shoulder deep, for when upon winding of the horn, whilst he would have been scrambling out, down came Sir John, demanding what was the matter. They told him "the Tinker was not content to drink full horns at the cock, but would needs go in to drink all at a draught." "Aye," said he, "this is a thirsty soul indeed; but since he undertakes to drink it, he shall do it, for none of my servants shall drink it now, he has washed his dirty hide in it;" crying to him with an angry voice, "Sirrah, you rogue, drink it as you proposed, or it shall be worse for you," and while he stood shivering up to his neck, and was endeavouring to lay the blame upon others, the Courtier seemed impatient to be dallied with, drew a broad sword that was two-edged, protesting his head should go off for abusing his good liquor, was there no more Tinkers in the world, and with that, making a full blow at him, as the Tinker believed. And seeing him in such a passion, he to avoid the coming stroke dropped down over head and ears, staying under as long as he could, and peeping up, and seeing the threatening danger, he dropped down again for six or seven times. Till fearing to carry the jest too far, he gave him a short respite, telling him, "Now he could not report abroad he was so very niggardly of his drink, for he had or might have enough of it." Then bidding his servants to take him out, and ordered him to depart, or drink it up, which he thought fit. And thus he went away laughing. The Tinker, who was at first very angry, but being cheered up with a cordial dram, and so made sensible that all this was but a frolic, and that for the future their master would be his good friend if he behaved civilly, he was pacified, and so putting on his clothes, he beat the road for a gang of merry fellows of his acquaintance, informing them, there was a hogshead of March beer at Sir John's, which they all might be partakers of if they choosed; they came joyfully, and had it brought into the court-yard, in black jacks. After they had drunk it, the Tinker told them the cause of its being given away, was because there was a swine that had unexpectedly fallen into it; but on further inquiry he told them all the circumstances, which set them a-laughing till their sides were almost cracked. Afterwards they had plenty of victuals sent them, and the Tinker being thus made free of the cellar, was ordered to call at the house, and have victuals and drink as often as he came that way. And so they departed, spreading the fame of Sir John in every place they came, as a bountiful benefactor; singing as they went, the following song:—