After leaving Merle, William walked slowly and thoughtfully to his home, which was at some distance, but instead of resting or sleeping, after the labors and excitement of the day, he went immediately to his private study, and plunged into thought. The expression of his eyes at this time was not charming, betokening not only doubt and suspense, but some intensity of feeling that, to an outside observer would have been nameless.

"Let me think. My brain seems in a maze; I cannot command my thoughts! I cannot even speculate. What a day this has been. Will its memory ever be effaced from my soul? My thoughts, even, elude my wishes. I, who prided myself on the cogency of my reasoning, my control over my thoughts, am reduced to the same condition of blank vacancy as is a new born babe, looking, wondering, speculating possibly, but unable to realize or reason.

"I who am acknowledged to be the strongest mesmerist of the age, have twice in one day been completely baffled by my usually passive 'subject,' through no desire of his own to disobey. I am sure of that, as he has been too faithful a subject for me to doubt for one instant his loyalty. He wishes to please me. This night's work mystifies me more than the day's, and I regarded that as an epoch in my life.

"Let me think how it all happened, and why I lost all control over him to whom, ordinarily, I have but to suggest a thought or desire, and he hastens at once to obey, whether in a trance or not.

"There is no doubt the boy is very ill, overcome by some powerful influence, which, temporarily at least, is stronger than my will over him.

"I feel shame,—the deepest of shame—that I, who usually glory in the fact of calm nerves, invulnerable to the rudest shocks, should thus be suddenly deprived of all self-control, and that before a multitude of persons who will naturally say 'Professor Huskins must be losing his power to allow his acknowledged best subject to create such a sensation in a public place.'

"No wonder they would think so after all the tests many have seen this same subject put through, he obeying implicitly my every thought, silent or spoken. I could not only not prevent this public portrayal of my weakness, but it required all of the will power I possessed to quiet and subdue the disturbance after I had got him to his home where everything was perfectly tranquil.

"This is not a very flattering picture to contemplate, and I walked home purposely to cool my head and control my thoughts. If sentence of death were to be passed upon me, if I could not tell one rational thought that passed through my brain since I left home, until I arrived here again, I should have to pay the penalty.

"All is confusion—doubt—chaos. I realize that I have no firm foundation upon which to stand. Where I thought I was strong I find I am weak; miserably and pitifully weak—so weak I feel acute shame for myself.

"Enough of this. I must and will know the cause of Merle's sudden illness. I know that, deny though he may, that sickness had its foundation in the woman's appearance and nowhere else. Just before that he was talking animatedly to me about his sister, and the thought went through my mind 'how well he looks; all the fatigue of the day has gone, and he is his old self again, quaffing enjoyment like a child.'

"I felt a sense of envy that he could be so light-hearted, and for just one moment could have wished myself a negative subject instead of a positive operator, but before that wish had been fully formulated in my mind, the singer appeared and almost simultaneously rang out his distracted cry 'William!' (the name by which he never addresses me except in private) and that in so loud a tone as to penetrate, it seems to me now, every portion of that immense auditorium.

"I heard the cry, still I seemed unable to turn away from that woman's face; when, immediately there came another cry, so full of suffering it broke the spell that bound me, but I could do no more than to calm and quiet him.

"Was it selfishness on my part to remain that I might hear her sing just once more, or was it really an unselfish desire not to disturb others by going out while she was singing? I hope it was the latter. Is any man capable to analyze correctly his own thoughts? If so, I am not one of them. Why should Merle be stricken so ill by just one fleeting glance at her? She is as beautiful as a poet's dream. There must be something in their lives of more than ordinary acquaintance. He knows her;—he must.—But even so, why should he be so affected? I shall know. He shall tell me—if not waking, I will entrance him.

"It seems impossible that Merle has had any love experience with a woman, yet there is no other way to account for the incident. I must be wrong. He has been my subject now almost ten years; I know that in all that time he has been free from any attachments with women, for he has been continually under my care. Before that time, he was only a boy, incapable of generating any strong attachment, still she would have been a girl about his own age.

"Probably they met, and, like every other true-hearted man, he has remembered and suffered, while she, with her beauty, has gone on wounding new hearts. I will find out about it. He is too good a boy to be the victim of a designing woman. I have warned him times enough, and thought he heeded me.

"This is another proof of one man's inability to dominate the entire consciousness of another so as to know for a certainty his exact thoughts and emotions.

"I thought I was aware of all the principal traits, wishes and events of Merle's life, while the strongest and most potent force of all probably, was entirely undreamed of.

"I thought before I went to that concert, I had a difficult problem before me,—one that would try my patience, ingenuity and knowledge, but I am likely to find that one simple, compared to the last.

"However intricate, I will solve it. There is only one way to do it; I will go to him as soon as I can get away from the consultation with my colleagues, when we have arranged to talk over our failure.

"They must not notice the ravages that yesterday has made upon me. It is useless for me to try to sleep; neither do I feel any inclination to eat, but I will go and take a good cold plunge. That will restore me to my customary equilibrium of mind sooner than anything else. Then I will walk to Dr. H——'s office. By that time I will get myself into my ordinary shape. William, you told yourself some years ago that you were impervious to shocks; you had control of your nerves and body; now here you stand, trying to keep yourself from trembling, and unable, even, to eat or sleep!

"Wonderful power to possess! I congratulate you upon its possession! Only yesterday, you prided yourself in one thing that your colleagues did not possess—fearlessness of public criticism;—You have been as nervous as a woman, thinking what impression Merle's disability will produce upon the persons present at the concert.

"No wonder you are an advocate of inconsistency! You know no better example of it than yourself. You surely have more to learn than you thought."

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