  Why are porters and bellboys always so much more anxious to help you out than in? Why do so many hotel bathrooms have warm cold water and cold hot water? Why is it that on the morning you are expecting company you can never find the chambermaid? And every other morning she tries your door every fifteen minutes regularly. Why does a hotel clerk always try to give you some room different from the one you ask for? Why does a hotel cashier always look at you pityingly? Why does a bellboy always try to get two quarts of water into a quart pitcher? Why do hotels feed actors cheaper than they do folks? Why is a mistake in the bill always in the hotel's favor? Why does the landlord's wife always have theatrical trunks? Why does my wife always try to get a corner table, and then put me in the chair facing the wall? Why do "American" hotels always have French and Italian cooks? Why does the fellow in the next room always get up earlier than I do? Why does the elevator boy always go clear to the top floor and back when the man on the second floor rings for him? Why is the news stand girl always so haughty? Why does the night clerk always dress so much better than the day clerks? Why do I think I know so much about running a hotel? |
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