THE HUMAN OCTOPUS
SNOOPS AROUND

Watched by the admiring eyes of Dragonfel and his followers the Human Octopus wriggled and squirmed his way out of the enchanter’s palace. And, whether he flew through the air, or swam through the waters, to Queen Titania’s fairy kingdom, using his tentacles as propellers, is a matter for conjecture. But, at any rate, he got there with all tentacles. Whenever his suspicions were aroused, or there was the slightest doubt, he would hastily secrete himself among shrubbery or weeds, with which his mottled green sides proved a perfect match, so that as a whole he blended in admirably with the vegetation.

He did not have a heart, a rather sluggish liver performing for him instead the necessary functions of the other organ, and, as he approached Queen Titania’s palace with due caution, it thumped with torpid pleasure.

If there was anything he liked above all others it was sneaking, and the job which Dragonfel had given him presented most attractive possibilities.

Noting a gurgling brook in the proximity of the portcullis, he took great pains to soak the round pad-like ends of his tentacles in water so that when they were applied to a flat surface they would adhere through atmospheric pressure sufficiently to bear his weight.

In such a manner, when no one was looking, did the wily rascal climb up the high garden-wall and down the other side, wriggling and squirming with ill-concealed chuckles toward the palace.

Only the magic dove that Euphrosyne had left, which was preening itself on the edge of a fountain’s basin, saw him, with the result that it was strongly tempted to fly back to the Goddess of Mirth forthwith.

At the fountain the Human Octopus took the precaution to again soak his multifarious pads in water, after which with his goggle eyes he cocked his head in a professional survey of the palace. Then he began to ascend one of its towering walls. Higher and higher, and still higher, he went in perfect safety until at last he gained the roof and squatted on the top of a chimney.

There he skillfully compressed himself to fit the dimensions of the flue, after which he began to let himself gently down like an elevator-car. A great volume of black, greasy smoke from the kitchen suddenly belched forth and hid him from sight.

It was not so long afterward that, all covered with soot, he crawled out of the big open fireplace in the throne-room. Before he did so he made sure to satisfy himself that no one was there. But there was no telling when someone might come, and he knew it behooved him to secrete himself and instantly.

His goggle eyes oscillated in all directions around the room, and he craftily selected for his hiding-place a great tall clock that stood up close against the wall in a corner by itself.

It was not a grandfather’s clock, for there were no grandfathers in Queen Titania’s kingdom. It was what might more properly be termed a grandmother’s clock.

The villain opened the door, and projected himself into the clock’s interior, being obliged in order to accomplish this to make his proportions squarish and oblong. His queer-looking head showed at the top instead of the clock’s face. Then with one of his tentacles glued to the door he pulled it back in its place.

“Now we shall see what we shall see,” he snorted. “I must be patient and bide my time.”

The big brass pendulum swaying rhythmically to and fro with its measured tick-tock! tick-tock! kept hitting his stomach, and it tickled him so that it was all he could do to keep from laughing.

But he knew that he must not do so. If he even snickered he might betray himself. So he put a number of his tentacles over his mouth and tried hard to keep a straight face.

Now, though every month was a fair month, a rare month, for the murmur of the little streams was never hushed, and the fruits and flowers always were in bloom, with the skies mostly blue above them, and the winds soft and kind, May to the fairies’ way of thinking was the sweetest of all the happy year, and whenever it came round it was tendered a becoming ceremony.

The Eve o’ May was a holiday, though it might truthfully be said that every day was a holiday.

But at this particular time when all nature was at its best there were special observances that sprang from the gladness and exultation in all hearts, the very joy of existence, and the happiness that was manifested by every living thing.

Queen Titania and her fairies prepared for the innocent revels and dances that were to occur on a velvet sward some distance from the palace grounds, and their hearts were pleasantly thrilled by a notice with some pictures of Brownies that had been mysteriously tacked up in the neighborhood.

Marvelous was the flower-texture of the gowns donned for this gala occasion, and in her robes of blush-pink mossrose petals which swept away in a long, fragrant train Titania never looked more beautiful and charming.

Little old Dame Drusilda who resembled a human morning-glory, with hat, bodice, and dress all like cornucopias, fumed, fretted, and ordered all the other fairies around.

“As I live,” the fussy dame declared, “we’ve forgotten to wind the big clock, and it’s almost run down. Violet and Daffodil, go to the throne-room, and attend to this before we start.”

The two good-naturedly ran to do her bidding, and when he saw them coming the Human Octopus had an uneasy qualm.

He hastily tried to distort his ugly face into a resemblance of the Roman numerals, and stuck up two tentacles for the hour and minute hands, but the deception was a poor one, and would not work. Violet and Daffodil set about to wind the clock, but, on looking up to note the time, they were confronted by a face twisted in an expression that the Human Octopus very foolishly thought invited confidence, but which instead sent them scurrying and hurrying with gathered-up flower skirts and ear-splitting shrieks from the room.

“I wonder what they’re scared of,” said the stupid fellow to himself. “Well, it isn’t the first time I’ve given folks a start in life. And now it behooves me to remove myself from here forthwith, if not sooner, for if they come back and catch me the jig is up!”

The tick-tock! tick-tock! of the pendulum reminded him that every moment was precious, so he scrambled out of the clock, and wig-wagged his way out of the room.

When he came to a fountain he lumberingly clambered up into the basin, and puddled around in the water to get the soot off, and once more as the dove watched him perform his ablutions it found it difficult to refrain from flying back to Euphrosyne.

The Human Octopus peered through a lattice, but none of the fairies was in sight. Then he hustled up the garden-wall, and down the other side, finally secreting himself in a big floral urn by the portcullis, where he awaited further developments.

No one would have guessed he was there, for he seemed to be a part of the luxuriant green growth, and he even let his tentacles droop gracefully over with the branches and stalks of the palms and ferns to heighten the illusion.

Meanwhile Violet and Daffodil were telling a most harrowing story to Queen Titania and the rest of the fairies, but so frightened were they still that it was hardly intelligible. Finally they were all prevailed upon to accompany the two to the throne-room to see for themselves.

Nothing was inside the clock, of course, but the brass works.

“It seems to me you both have very vivid imaginations, young ladies,” chided Dame Drusilda. “After this I would let Welsh rabbits alone.”

“It’s not there now, but it was there,” persisted Violet stoutly, “and it was the most dreadful looking thing you ever saw.”

“It was worse than that,” added Daffodil. “It was the most dreadful looking thing you never saw.”

“Well, even if there was such a horrid creature, it’s gone,” said Queen Titania comfortingly, “so why should we trouble ourselves about it any longer? It’s time for our revels to begin, and if we don’t hurry up the ice cream will all melt, and remember there’s angel-cake, charlotte russe, and lemonade besides!”

The tiny Cupids, whose hearts were going pit-a-pat, for they believed implicitly every word that Violet and Daffodil had said, hastily gathered up Her Majesty’s train.

All started from the palace, the portcullis being raised to let them pass, and from his hiding-place in the urn the Human Octopus with his big, gloating, goggle eyes noted every movement that they made. But they had no suspicion that he lurked among the palms and ferns.

After they had disappeared from sight he flopped down, and keeping his eyes close to the earth followed the wee footprints that they made.

His sleuth-like, sneaky search led him straight to where the fairies sported on the green, and as he drew nearer to them he exercised more caution.

He compressed himself more closely to the ground, and picking out a luxuriant clump of peculiar rainbow roses whose leaves afforded a most effective screen he crawled to it to wait and bide his time.

As he watched the innocent, happy fays garlanded with fragrant, many-hued flowers pose and pirouette he could not deny to them with a certain grace that many enthusiasts would have pronounced most exquisite. But he had never been to dancing school, and he did not trip the light, fantastic tentacle himself.

He was greatly interested in all he saw, however, and even more so when at last he noticed Queen Titania, the Cupids, and several of the fairies leave the lithe, flushed, happy group. For Queen Titania had spied the rainbow roses, different from all the rest, and ran with eager, sparkling eyes to fill her arms with them. Little she dreamed of the danger that lurked in all their perfumed radiance. Swiftly she came, outdistancing the others, and as she bent over in sweet, innocent pillage the mean, contemptible nature of the Human Octopus manifested itself. Forgetful of his diplomatic mission, he wound his tentacles around her until she looked like a mesh-bag. When she began almost instantly to scream he grimly increased the pressure. The fairies and Cupids, horrified beyond measure by what they beheld, and helpless to aid their beloved queen, fled with wild cries.

The Human Octopus tightened his cruel grip. Titania’s head fell back, her golden hair streamed over her shoulders, her eyes distended, and she could not get her breath.

Slowly but surely the Human Octopus was strangling her!

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