  The Brownies once with capers spry To an Academy drew nigh, Which, founded by a generous hand, Spread light and learning through the land. The students, by ambition fired, And men of science had retired; So Brownies, through their mystic power, Now took advantage of the hour. A battery was soon displayed, And strange experiments were made; Electric currents were applied To meadow-frogs they found inside, Which sage professors, nights and days, Had gathered up, in various ways. To making pills some turned the mind, While some to Dentistry inclined, And aching teeth, both small and large, Were there extracted free of charge. More gazed where phrenologic charts Showed heads partitioned off in parts. Said one: "Let others knowledge gain Through which to conquer ache and pain, But by these charts I'll do my best To learn where Fancy makes her nest." Another cried, as he surveyed The bumps that were so well arrayed: "These heads exhibit, full and clear, Which one to love and whom to fear; Who is with noble thoughts inspired, And who with hate or envy fired; The man as timid as the hare, The man destructive as the bear. While choosing partners, one may find It well to keep these charts in mind." A microscope at length, they found; And next, the Brownies gathered round A stereopticon machine That cast its rays upon a screen. A thousand times it magnified, Till, stretching out on every side, An object large and larger spread, And filled the gazing group with dread. The locust, beetle, and the bee Soon gained proportions strange to see, And seemed like monsters close at hand To put an end to all the band. Ere long a door was open swung, To show some skeletons that hung From hook and peg, which caused a shout Of fear to rise from those about. Said one: "Thus Science works its way Through old remains from day to day; And those who during life could find No time, perhaps, to aid mankind, May, after all, in some such place For years assist the human race By giving students, as you see, Some knowledge of Anatomy." At other times, all breathless grouped O'er crucibles, the Brownies stooped To separate, with greatest skill, The grains which cure from those that kill; While burning acids, blazes blue, And odors strong confused the crew. Cried one: "Through trials hard to bear, The student must himself prepare, Though mixing paint, or mixing pill— Or mixing phrases, if you will— No careless study satisfies If one would to distinction rise; The minds that shed from pole to pole The light of years, as round we roll, Are first enriched through patient toil, And kindled by the midnight oil." Thus, spicing logic with a joke, They chatted on till morning broke; And then with wild and rapid race The Brownie band forsook the place. |
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