The next few weeks passed as in a dream, and at length the day of departure came. Ragna set off with her father in the stulkjarre, her modest box well corded and tied on behind. Grandmother, mother and sisters, even the old nurse, waving a tearful farewell, disappeared behind the clustering trees. Travel in those days was not the easy affair it is now, and three days posting lay between the travellers and Molde. They were to meet Fru Bjork at Bergen. When, in due time they arrived, Ragna found her chaperone to be a matronly woman, arrayed in brown silk with a heavy gold chain round her neck; her crab's eyes looked good-naturedly out on the world, and her ample curves bore witness to her naturally placid temperament—relieved, however, by a surface fussiness. She at once took Ragna to her arms and heart with such pattings and caressings as made the girl feel quite uncomfortable, unused as she was to such a demonstrative show of affection. Astrid, the daughter, fair and pretty, sprightly and capricious of character, also welcomed the newcomer with enthusiasm. "How delightful it will be!" she carolled. "We shall be just like sisters, and tell one another all our secrets—shan't we, dear?" She linked her arm in Ragna's, and gazed soulfully into her face. Ragna could not help wondering what secrets she might ever find it possible to confide to such a little linnet. At first awkward and constrained, she soon thawed, however, in the friendly atmosphere, and in a few minutes was chattering away with a gaiety and freedom, quite surprising to her father, who had always known her timidly reserved. This was not to be wondered at, as he had never encouraged any other attitude in his children. As this is not to be a chronicle of a young lady's school-days, little need be told concerning the journey to Paris, and the years at the SacrÉ Coeur, suffice it to say that Ragna, under the care of the good Sisters, improved both in mind and body. As her skin lost its coating of sunburn and tan, and her body its abrupt and boyish movements, so her mind, trained in the study of the French classics, took on polish, and she acquired a nice discrimination of taste, and a distinction of manner rarely met with in so young a girl. So much for externals, at heart she was the same old Ragna, impulsive, dreamy, and of a childlike credulity, splendidly loyal to those she loved. One instance of this will suffice. Astrid, in whom vanity and the indulgence of her mother had developed a thirst for admiration and romance, soon found the monotonous round of convent life unbearably dull. She confided the yearnings of her lonely heart to her bosom friend Ragna, and for a time these confidences, the daily bulletins as to the state of her soul scribbled in pencil on scraps of paper, and passed from one to the other as the girls met going to and from chapel, or in recreation hours, sufficed. Shortly after their arrival, they had been sent to separate dormitories and tables, and kept apart during recreation, the Convent discipline not permitting of too close an intimacy between two young girls, and there being the added reason of the more rapid progress made in acquiring the language when neither had the occasion to use her mother tongue. Astrid considered it suitable to the arid state of her heart that she should pine away, and to that end consumed bits of chalk from the class-room blackboard, scrapings of slate pencils, and all the vinegar within reach at meals. As may be imagined, she soon displayed an interesting pallor, and was accordingly dosed with iron pills and quince wine. Her heavy sighs and melancholy demeanour so impressed her fellow pupils, that it was generally rumoured she was dying of a broken heart. The broken heart soon mended, however, when early in the second year at the convent, her discerning eye perceived the burning glances of a most romantic looking youth. "Long hair, my dear, velveteen clothes, and the most beautiful soulful eyes you ever saw," she told Ragna. The girls were on their way, with a group of selected pupils under the guardianship of an assistant mistress, to see a picture gallery. The young man turned in behind the procession and followed. The next time it was the same, and Astrid's romantic little soul thrilled at the thought of so devoted an admirer. It was easy for the man to slip a folded note into the girl's hand one day, as the little group straggled up the stairway of the Louvre, and during the rest of the afternoon Astrid's hand strayed constantly to her pocket to assure herself of the safety of the precious paper. With eyelids lowered over shining eyes, she listened to the droning explanations of the teacher, longing to be alone, to be free to read the note. This was the beginning of a correspondence, for Astrid answered the letter and an obliging day-scholar posted the little envelope addressed to M. Jules Gauthiez. So the two exchanged perfervid epistles, and wrote such impassioned, if confused, outpourings, that Astrid's little soul was consumed within her. The secret feeling of importance it gave her betrayed itself in the brightness of her eyes and in the self-consciousness of her voice and manner. The regimen of chalk and vinegar fell into abeyance. Ragna, at first amused, began to be alarmed at the situation; Astrid keyed to the highest pitch of romantic sentimentality, was capable of any folly, and the immediate consequences of discovery, public reprimand and expulsion from the school, spelled unthinkable disaster to her more serious mind. She begged Astrid to give the whole thing up, but the girl would listen to no argument that her friend could put forward. "My love is my life, can you ask me to tear my heart out?" she demanded. The most Ragna could obtain, was that Astrid should be more prudent—which meant exactly nothing. Naturally, the Sisters could not long remain unobservant of the change in Astrid's demeanour, and from awakened attention to discovery there lay but a step. Ragna was making a water colour drawing in the assembly room, when a Sister brought her the order to go at once to the Reverend Mother. She put by her brushes with trembling hands, and the black-robed Sister observed her emotion curiously, but kindly. "There, there, my child!" she said, "Reverend Mother will do you no harm; she wishes to ask you a question, nothing more. If your conscience is good, what do you fear?" Ragna followed her without answering, her mind intent on the pending interview. The Superior's sitting-room was a comfortable apartment; a table stood in the middle, and at one window a large writing desk. One of the walls was occupied by a bookcase, another by a large carved prie-dieu over which hung an ivory crucifix and a silver holy-water stoup with its twig of box. Mother Marie SacrÉ Coeur, sat in a large carved armchair by the table. She was a tall, slender woman, and her face, though unlined and delicate as a piece of carved ivory, bore the imprint of long years of responsibility, and conveyed the impression of a wonderful degree of will power. It was not altogether an ascetic face, however, the grey eyes, though keen, were human, and the strong firmly modelled mouth had a humorous twist. The hands, long, slender and white with rather thick thumbs, were lightly clasped over a Book of Hours bound in velvet and silver. By her side stood the MÈre in charge of Astrid's dormitory, MÈre PerpÉtua, a severe, sour-looking woman, yellow under her white guimpe and black veil. Astrid cowered beside her, looking like a prisoner in the grasp of a gendarme; she had been crying, but her eyes had a furtive expression and her weak, pretty mouth was set in obstinate lines. She looked like a trapped animal, badly frightened, but feebly at bay. On the table lay a little pile of crumpled papers, and the ribbon that had bound them. They all looked eagerly at Ragna as she entered, followed by Soeur AngÉlique; she glanced at them each in turn, and from Astrid's eyes caught such an agonized appeal for help that her back straightened, and it was with a calm, almost defiant consciousness of definite purpose that she met the Superior's interrogating gaze. "Ragna," said the Reverend Mother, "we have called you here to ascertain how much you know of this disgraceful affair. MÈre PerpÉtua has found these letters," she indicated the little heap on the table, "hidden in Astrid's mattress. I have read them, they are letters such as no young girl should receive from any man, even her fiancÉ. Our Rule has been broken by this clandestine correspondence, and our sense of propriety outraged; we are profoundly shocked and grieved." "Such deceit! Such disgraceful effrontery! She brazenly denies they are hers!" broke in MÈre PerpÉtua, her lean face working. "Silence!" cried the Superior. "MÈre PerpÉtua, you forget yourself. I had not desired you to speak." She paused a moment, then addressed Ragna. "You will tell us, my child, all that you know about this; it is your duty to your companion, to us, and to yourself. On your frankness depends to a large extent the punishment I shall deem it necessary to impose; you may lighten it very appreciably, by telling the truth—but if you hesitate, if I understand that you are withholding anything, it will be the worse for both of you." MÈre PerpÉtua's interruption had been brief, but illuminating. Ragna felt that her way was made clear, it was with a steady eye and a firm, if slightly unnatural voice, that she answered: "Reverend Mother, the letters are mine; I gave them to Astrid to keep for me." The effect was electrical. Astrid gasped and her jaw dropped; MÈre PerpÉtua stared at Ragna with the expression of one who has cherished a viper in her bosom, and only just found it out. Soeur AngÉlique gave a cry that was almost a sob. Ragna was her favourite, and she could have wept with disappointment. Only the Superior showed no surprise; her hands clasped the Book of Hours a little more tightly, and her keen eyes fixed on Ragna's face seemed trying to penetrate her very soul, that was all. Ragna returned her gaze without wavering. "How long has this been going on?" "Three months." "Why did you not keep the letters yourself?" "I was afraid of being found out!" "Oh!" said the Reverend Mother, and laughed a little. Her eyes went from Ragna, straight and proud, to Astrid, trembling violently, and gazing anxiously at her friend. "And did you answer the letters?" "Yes." "Who posted them for you?" Silence. "Come, who posted them for you?" "I will not tell," said Ragna. "I will tell anything that I have done myself, but I refuse to tell on others—besides, the blame is mine in any case." The Superior nodded her head. "I shall not press the point now, we can return to it later if need be. Are you aware of the result of this, of what you have done? No punishment can be too severe for the girl who deceives her friends and teachers so disgracefully, who sets so deplorable an example to her fellow-pupils. What will your parents say to this?" Ragna went pale: "Oh Reverend Mother," she pleaded, "do anything to me you like, but don't let them know of it! Oh, I know I have done wrong, punish me as much as you please, but don't tell them!" Astrid gathered herself together for a supreme effort; her cowardly little soul, shamed by her friend's generosity, rose to her lips. With tightly clasped hands, she stepped forward and began: "Reverend Mother!"—but Ragna interrupted her quickly. She must do the thing thoroughly or not at all; having put her hand to the plough, she would not turn back. "Reverend Mother, it has been very wrong of me, and I am sorry and ashamed. Punish me however you like. I am to blame, but don't punish Astrid, or hurt my parents; it is no fault of theirs." The Superior laid her book on the table; her eyes, as she looked at Ragna were full of kindly amusement, and also of respect. "Soeur AngÉlique," she said, "take these girls to their dormitories, and keep them till Benediction, afterwards I shall tell them what I have decided upon." As the door closed on the three, she turned to MÈre PerpÉtua smiling. "Well?" she said. "What will you do with them, Reverend Mother? Shall they be publicly expelled?" "Ragna, as she has confessed, will be 'excused' from further walks outside the Convent; Astrid, for having concealed the letters will be kept at home also. You, ma MÈre, will see that no word of this business gets about among the girls—I wish no one to speak of it, no one." MÈre PerpÉtua was a study in pained amazement. "What!" she burst forth. "No adequate punishment? Nothing to put that brazen girl to shame for her indecent conduct? She stands here in your presence and admits to having received the letters, and answered them, to having corrupted her companion, as she might say: 'I have said thirty Aves'! Oh Reverend Mother, you are too lenient! It is unjust!" "So that is how you understand it, ma MÈre? Has life taught you nothing?" "Life has taught me that sin requires punishment," she rejoined grimly. "Ma MÈre, I see that I must open your eyes; those letters were not written to Ragna." "Not written to her! Why she confessed that they were hers!" "So she did, to save Astrid." "Well, that only makes it worse, she has lied outrageously, and so has Astrid—and you let them go unpunished!" "I consider that Ragna's lie is a good lie, ma MÈre. A generous lie is better than a mean truth. I make a pretence of punishing her so that she may not know I understand; vicarious punishment, if suffered voluntarily, is good for the soul. As for Astrid, she is weak and foolish, she has been thoroughly frightened, and is not likely to fall again in the same direction—for the present at least. The sight of Ragna, bearing the blame that should be hers, will do more for her than any punishment you or I might inflict." MÈre PerpÉtua gazed at her Superior in amazement; though still disapproving, she had a dim perception of the other's greatness of soul, and the insight into human nature, that had made her, while still young in years, the Head of the Community. "You may go, ma MÈre, and after Benediction you will bring our two black sheep here." So dismissed, MÈre PerpÉtua took her departure, shaking her head. The Superior remained alone, leaning her head on her hand. She thought of the many young lives under her care, of the many girls she had seen come and go. She thought of the many natures hopelessly warped by a mistaken or untimely severity, shut in upon themselves, black-frosted, as it were, in the very hour when they most need drawing out, training and guiding by a sympathetic hand. She loved Ragna, her whole heart was drawn to the girl in admiration for her generous assumption of the other's fault. "She is too ready to take up others' burdens," she thought; "God send that her own be not too heavy for her shoulders!" The bell for Benediction interrupted her meditation. As she walked along the passages to the Chapel the same thought pursued her, and when from her carved stall she recognized Ragna's fair head, bowed among her fellows, she seemed to see the halo of future suffering about it. Ragna bending over her prayer-book, was wondering what the punishment would be; and half defiantly she squared her shoulders to meet it. She thought of Astrid, divided between contemptuous pity, and real sympathy for the agonized fear displayed by the butterfly creature. Astrid was sobbing her heart out, her face hid between her hands. She despised herself for her weakness, and reproached herself for letting Ragna take the blame. Later she would resent her friend's generosity, but just now she fairly grovelled in self-abasement; she took a morbid delight in mortifying herself in her own eyes, as formerly she had exulted in the thought of her sentimental superiority over her comrades. The level rays of sunlight tinged with the glory of Saints, touched the rows of young heads, passing over some, distinguishing others, colouring with purple and crimson the tresses, dark and fair, of the kneeling girls, and the Chaplain holding aloft the Ostensory with its symbol of the Great Sacrifice, glowed in a mystic radiance. Then the light went, and the tapers on the altar twinkled like stars in the sudden twilight. After the concluding hymns, Ragna and Astrid were again conducted to the Superior's sitting-room, to hear her decision. The Reverend Mother had chosen a good moment, for the service of Benediction had had its effect on the impressionable girlish natures. Ragna was softened, and Astrid had found moral courage enough to overcome her selfish fear. The Reverend Mother at once saw the change and profited by it, so that almost without their knowing it, she had soon drawn a full confession from both girls. Astrid, once fairly started, and prone as ever to exaggeration, would have known no limits to her self-abasement, luxuriating in her confession of guilt, had she not been almost sternly controlled and restrained. Ragna, though pleased and relieved by Astrid's assumption of the misdoing, was yet secretly disappointed in surrendering her role of self-immolated victim. She would not have owned it to herself, she did not even recognize the flat feeling of generous effort rendered useless, that chilled her. Quite unconsciously she had been admiring her action. How much self-sacrifice would there be in the world, if the self-made victim were not secretly upheld by the nobility of the pose—even if self be the sole admirer? There is, in every action, not the result of passionate impulse, a certain amount of play to the gallery, even though the gallery be only what is commonly known as conscience. The Superior, being a wise woman, was neither too severe nor the reverse; she improved the occasion by giving the girls a lecture which they neither of them forgot, and dismissed them with a punishment sufficient to keep the matter in their minds for some time, while giving them no reason for considering themselves martyrs to discipline. So the incident ended, and it had the effect of drawing the girls closer together, for Astrid, having vindicated her own self-respect, could appreciate Ragna's generosity and forgive it, while Ragna loved her friend the better for having assumed the role of protector to her, and could love her the more, not being obliged to despise her for cowardice. |