The great sorrow brought upon a family by the death of a loved one renders the immediate members of the family incapable of attending to the necessary arrangements for the funeral. The services of an intimate friend, or a relative, should, therefore, be sought. He should receive general instructions from the family, after which he should take entire charge of the arrangements, and relieve them from all care on the subject. If such a person cannot be had, the arrangements may be placed in the hands of the sexton of the church the deceased attended in life, or of some responsible undertaker.

The expenses of the funeral should be in accordance with the means of the family. No false pride should permit the relatives to incur undue expense in order to make a showy funeral. At the same time, affection will dictate that all the marks of respect which you can provide should be paid to the memory of your beloved dead.

Funeral Invitations.

In some parts of the country it is customary to send notes of invitation to the funeral to the friends of the deceased and of the family. These invitations should be printed, neatly and simply, on mourning paper, with envelopes to match, and should be delivered by a private messenger. The following is a correct form, the names and dates to be changed to suit the occasion:

“Yourself and family are respectfully invited to attend the funeral of David B. Jones, on Tuesday, March 18, 189-, at 11 o’clock A. M., from his late residence, 1926 Amber Street, to proceed to Laurel Hill Cemetery.”

Where the funeral is from a church, the invitation should read:

“Yourself and family are respectfully invited to attend the funeral of David B. Jones, from the Church of the Holy Trinity, on Tuesday, March 18, 189-, at 11 o’clock A. M., to proceed to Laurel Hill Cemetery.”

Where such invitations are sent, a list of persons so invited must be given to the person in charge of the funeral, in order that he may provide a sufficient number of carriages. No one to whom an invitation has not been sent should attend such a funeral, nor should those invited permit anything but an important duty to prevent their attendance.

When the funeral is at the house, some near relative or intimate friend should act as usher, and show the company to their seats.

Showing Respect for the Dead.

Preserve a decorous silence in the chamber of death—speak as little as possible, and then only in low, subdued tones.

The members of the family are not obliged to recognize their acquaintances. The latter show their sympathy by their presence and considerate silence.

As the coffin is borne from the house to the hearse, gentlemen who may be standing at the door or in the street remove their hats, and remain uncovered until it is placed in the hearse.

The pall-bearers should be chosen from among the intimate friends of the deceased, and should correspond to him in age and general character.

With regard to sending flowers, the wishes of the family should be considered. If you are uncertain upon this point, it is safe to send them. They should be simple and tasteful.

Letters of condolence are sent to those in bereavement by their intimate friends. We append a few forms that will be helpful to all persons who wish to express their sympathy with the bereaved.

To a Lady on the Death of her Husband.

Cleveland, O., June 6, 189—.
Dear Mrs. Walrod:

Though I know that no words of mine can bring comfort to your sorely tried heart, yet I can not refrain from writing to you to express my deep and heartfelt sympathy in your affliction.

Knowing your husband as intimately as I did, I can understand what a blow his death is to you. He was a man whose place will not be easily filled in the world; how impossible to fill it in his home!

You are, even in your loss, fortunate in this. He left behind him a name unsullied, and which should be a priceless legacy to his children and to you. His life was so pure and his Christian faith so undoubted, that we may feel the blessed assurance that he has gone to the home prepared for those who love and faithfully serve the Lord Jesus.

This should comfort you. You have the hope of meeting him one day in a better and a happier union than the ties that bound you here on earth. He waits for you, and reunited there, you will know no more parting.

I pray God to temper your affliction and give you strength to endure it. May He, in His own good time, give you the peace that will enable you to wait with patience until He shall call you to meet your loved one in heaven.

Sincerely yours,
Walter Bailey.
Mrs. Lydia Walrod, New York.

To a Friend on the Death of Her Sister.

Geneva, N.Y. May 4, 189—.
My Dear Nellie:

The melancholy intelligence of your sister’s death has grieved me more than I can express, and I beg to render you my heartfelt sympathy. Truly we live in a world where solemn shadows are continually falling upon our path—shadows that teach us the insecurity of all temporal blessings, and warn us that here “there is no abiding place.” We have, however, the blessed satisfaction of knowing that death cannot enter that sphere to which the departed are removed. Let hope and faith, my dear friend, mingle with your natural sorrow. Look to that future where the sundered ties of earth are reunited.

Very sincerely yours,
Sarah Clark.
To Miss Nellie Barton,
No. 4 Beacon Place, Boston.

To a Friend on the Death of His Brother.

Chicago, July 12, 189—,
Dear Mr. Ames:

In the death of your brother, you have sustained a misfortune which all who had the pleasure of knowing him can feelingly estimate. I condole with you most sincerely on the sad event, and if the sympathy of friends can be any consolation under the trying circumstance, be assured that all who knew him share in your sorrow for his loss. There is, however, a higher source of consolation than earthly friendship, and, commending you to that, I remain,

Yours sincerely,
Jerome C. Hoover.
G. H. Ames, St. Louis.

To a Friend on the Death of Her Child.

Atlanta, Ga., November 17, 189—.
My Dear Blanche:

I feel that a mother’s sorrow for the loss of a beloved child cannot be assuaged by the commonplaces of condolence, yet I must write a few lines to assure you of my heartfelt sympathy in your grief. There is one thing, however, that should soften the sharpness of a mother’s agony under such a bereavement. It is the reflection that “little children” are pure and guileless, and that of such is the kingdom of heaven. “It is well with the child.” Much sin and woe has it escaped. It is treasure laid up in a better world, and the gate through which it has passed to peace and joy unspeakable is left open so that you, in due time, may follow. Let this be your consolation.

Affectionately yours,
Maud Trowbridge.
To Mrs. Blanche Norton,
New Haven, Conn.

To a Friend on a Sudden Reverse of Fortune.

Louisville, Ky., June 5, 189—.
My Dear Friend:

Hackneyed phrases of condolence never yet comforted a man in the hour of trouble, and I am not going to try their effect in your case. And yet let me say, in heartfelt earnest, that I was deeply pained to hear of your sudden and unexpected reverse of fortune. Misfortune is very hard to bear, when it falls upon one, like a flash of lightning from a clear sky, without any warning. But do not be discouraged. When Senator Benton saw the work of many years consumed in ten minutes, he took the matter coolly, went to work again, and lived long enough to repair the damage. So I hope will you. There is no motto like “try again,” for those whom fate has stricken down. Besides, there are better things than wealth even in this world, to say nothing of the next, where we shall neither buy nor sell.

If I can be of any assistance to you, let me know it, and I will help you as far as I am able.

In the meantime, cheer up, and believe me as ever,

Yours sincerely,
James Sterling.
H. R. Drayton,
Covington, Ky.