FIRST OF APRIL.

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'Twas on the Morn when April doth appear,
And wets the Primrose with its maiden tear;
'Twas

This Day was published,
Price Two Shillings and Sixpence,
A NEW EDITION,
WITH LARGE ADDITIONS,
OF THE
DIABOLIAD.

Printed for G. Kearsly, No. 46, Fleet-Street.

[a] [His S——r's Fate.]—If the Reader should think I have strayed beyond the line of propriety in introducing a Family so profitably employed as this, into the Temple of Folly,—I shall beg leave to refer him to a sacred Book which this Family pretend to read with great care and attention; wherein he will perceive that the wisdom of this world, with which this Family so much abounds, is accounted foolishness.—Tho', if he should object to Scripture authority, he will find, in the laugh and contempt of Mankind, the real folly of those who, in the midst of affluence, by the most bare-fac'd and indelicate proceedings, obtain and continue to grasp at every means of domestic emolument.

[b] [And the flow L——.]—I do not allude to this noble person's capacity,—but to his great and well-known Indispositions to this Connection.

[c] [to break through every golden-rule.] This woman, as an example of the good effects of a prudential and parsimonious education, the moment she was let loose, run into the extreme of Folly and expensive Fashions.—It has been said of one of her sisters, that she never spoke before her marriage, and was never silent afterwards.—This is the true art of managing Daughters—To prevent a discovery of their real dispositions 'till the end of the hypocrisy is answer'd,—and the Settlement for Life irrevocable.

[d] [And Oaths by which he swore.] At the last General Election, it was consider'd as a certain road to success by the Patriotic Candidates for the Senatorial Dignity, to propose and take oaths to support certain wise measures, and to endeavour at the Repeal of certain dangerous Laws. This person was among the outrageous Partisans of Opposition, who, at that time, look the propos'd oaths with great noise and clamour in various parts of the Kingdom: But his success was not then equal to that which he has since found, without any public engagements, beneath the smile of Ministerial favour.—But I do not mean, indeed I have no right to express myself with severity at this change of Party;—I will not add Sentiments;—for they are in the secret recesses of his own breast.—Nor shall I endeavour, at present, to develope the turnings and windings of that course which many of our Modern Patriots have taken.—These things will, in due time, explain themselves.—The Right Honourable Captain fought and found an empty Renown among the Frozen Seas of the North.—Some more substantial Honours seem to await him here.—I do not despair of seeing him a Lord of the Admiralty.—The Noble Relation to whom he owes the rudiments of naval wisdom, may also have communicated to him that subtle Spirit, which, in spite of Private Connections, Family Dissentions, Public Engagements, and Ministerial Confusion, looks alone to, and will maintain its own Interests.

[e] [th' expected Dower.]—The Anecdote to which this relates is known to every one.—It contains the picture of a sordid Man in the extreme, who was capable of seeking for emolument in the Injustice of a Parent to his Children;—and, being repulsed in this hope, made the basest resolutions, but possess'd not sufficient courage to put them in execution.—And his reward is Disappointment for Life.

It is very extraordinary,—but the polite Clubs and Circles were alive at this event.—What then must that Man be, whose Miseries furnish delight to his Fellow-Creatures!—But when a money-loving spirit alone leads a man to the Altar,—the World will rejoice if a cowardly spirit should drive him thither.

[f] [th' omitted Legacy.] About three or four months ago, the following Paragraph, or something like it, appear'd in the Morning Papers.—"Yesterday Lord ——, who had been called into the country by the sudden Illness of a noble Lady not twenty miles from Windsor, return'd to Town with an account of her Death and his Disappointment, to an anxious Family in Lower Grosvenor Street."—This Article of Intelligence would, probably, have been unnotic'd by me, had not a Person without any previous notice, exclaim'd aloud in a Coffee-House where I happened to be,—I am glad of it, by G——d.—Upon being ask'd by some of the Company, what might occasion such a joyful Asseveration,—he read the above paragraph,—and the whole room express'd an almost equal satisfaction.

[g] [Then Folly titter'd.] Mankind, who are accustomed to have their attention awaken'd to acts of daring Vice, or pre-eminent Virtue, may think the mean, base, cowardly, hypocritical Character not sufficiently interesting to claim their particular notice;—and that the exposing to the general knowledge of the World, those miserable, sneaking qualities which have not courage to rise into general notice, and are too mean to be long the topics of any conversion, is drawing aside the veil where it ought to be covered with thicker folds.—But when the mean Character, conscious of the universal contempt of those in his own rank, endeavours, by occasional smiles, and a silky demeanour, to acquire some degree of respect from the subordinate stations, his hopes, surely, ought to be dash'd;—and he deserves well of Society and of Virtue who performs the office.—Tho', I believe, in the Character before me, the gentle semblance of Virtue will not pass current with those who possess the least suspicion, or the most ordinary penetration.—But more of this hereafter.





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