So far so well. The storm had been avoided. The cook and burly butcher bowed their heads humbly before their captain; for no matter where he led they were prepared to follow. Some said that the cook could only expect promotion by sticking through thick and thin to the coat-tails of old Dogvane; but the carpenter's spirit was mutinous, and he showed no disposition to dance either to the cook's organ, or to be monkey-led by the captain of the Starboard Watch.

Although the Buccaneer was somewhat pacified, he determined to look into things a little more himself, for, as he said, there could not be so much smoke without a certain amount of fire. To begin with, he told the captain of his watch that he intended interviewing the heads of some of his departments. Dogvane tried to dissuade his master. He said it would be unconstitutional and all sort of things. That the officials would not like it. They could not bear meddling; it hurt their dignity. But it was of no use, the Buccaneer was determined.

The high State officials who had the management of the affairs on board of the old ship thought, like most other servants, that they could best serve their master by squandering his money; and they did it right royally. Perhaps royally is not the proper word, for royalty is often careful, if not close, with its own money, whatever it may be with other people's.

The lavish manner in which the Buccaneer's servants spent his money was conspicuously shown in the administration of his army and navy, and in fact in all his public works. The one great principle being to spend a pound in laying out a penny, no matter whether it was a ship of war that had to be built or the mouth of a poor starving person that had to be filled. Whether this waste was due to carelessness, stupidity, or ignorance, or to a combination of all three, matters little. The result was the same.

Finding his master was not to be put off, Dogvane began to cry up his wares like the long shore cheap-Jacks.

"Your Navy, sir," he said, "is in excellent condition, though of course, the watch on shore deny this; but that is according to custom. We have placed your navy in the hands of those who have been chosen on purely constitutional principles. Here again, we show that we are not the revolutionist that our enemies would make us out to be. Your first lord of the Admiralty we have selected from amongst those who are distinguished for their ignorance in all maritime matters. Men who do not know a ship's head from a ship's tail. I believe I should, to be quite correct, call it stern. It is of course a difficult thing to find amongst an insular, and sea-faring people, any man absolutely ignorant, but we do our best, and no man can do more. One thus selected, sir, on purely constitutional principles, is more likely to be free from prejudice than your professional man, and he is likely to exercise a healthy check upon your sea lords, whose predisposition is to drift into bloated armaments and bloody wars. This, of course, means money, and your expenditure is already more than any of your neighbours, and if we have not as many ships, sailors, and soldiers, as we ought to have, or than what your neighbours have, we at least spend ever so much more money, which must be to you an extreme satisfaction. If they say, look at our armies! we say, look at our expenditure! Your fellows do not cost a quarter, or a fraction as much, man for man, as our fellows do, or ship for ship. Cheap things, it is well known, are not only not good, but they are frequently nasty. Although your first lord may be totally ignorant of all things pertaining to the sea, he is ably assisted by distinguished sailors, and your first sea lord is ever ready and willing to set your first lord right when he goes wrong, which he seldom if ever does, or if he does we never receive any official information on the subject. They all support their party. They see nothing they ought not to see, and are at all times ready to swear that whatever is, is right, as far their watch is concerned, and that whatever is, is wrong, as far as the other watch is concerned. Honest sailors can do no more."

"Master Dogvane, is this as it should be?" the Buccaneer asked.

"Most assuredly, sir. It is most constitutional, and according to your general custom."

"Master Dogvane, I have found you to be of a sanguine temperament. You told me my people were prosperous and contented. I have my doubts, and I shall satisfy myself. But of that anon. Let my first lord of the Admiralty be called."

The first lord was down below listening to the first sea lord spinning a yarn, and he was trying to learn how to do it; because at times he was called upon to spin yarns with reference to his department. As has been already stated in this most truthful history, there was a time when the Buccaneer ruled the stormy ocean. He was then one of the finest sailors that ever trod a plank or made use of a strange sea oath; but times had changed, and many thought that modern innovation had taken the wind out of his sails, and that he at present traded upon his past reputation. But people must say something.

The first lord of the Admiralty appeared. "Now, sir," said the Buccaneer, "take charge, and let me see what you can do." The whole sea-faring world had been so changed and modernized since the old Buccaneer had commanded in person, that he really knew very little about things; but ignorance can always be concealed by a discreet silence.

The first lord being thus called upon to show his professional knowledge, cried out, "Ease her! backer! stopper!" This was addressed through a speaking trumpet to the old Church Hulk alongside; but as she had never been known to move for years past, what the first lord said was without effect. Indeed the crew of the old Church ship were busily occupied in trying a rebellious priest who would neither mend his ways, nor leave his pulpit, but breathed defiance against the High Priest and all his ecclesiastical big guns.

"What is all that about?" exclaimed the Buccaneer, addressing his first lord.

"Those, sir, are nautical expressions I have picked up on the river," replied the first lord, "and I believe they are technically correct. If they are not, I have no official information on the subject."

The old Buccaneer not willing to display his ignorance, said, "I want, sir, to know what state your department is in. What have you been doing; and how are my ships?"

"I have spent your money, sir, right well. I have bought some very fine and fast new cruisers, and I gave as much for them as I decently could."

"How is this?" cried the Buccaneer, "I used to be the first shipwright in the world."

"Rest easy, sir," Dogvane said. "These goods are of home manufacture. It is your custom in times of peace to let your shipyards lie idle; but when a scare comes, as come they will, in the best regulated nation, then we buy your ships from private firms, and having husbanded your wealth, you can the more readily give high prices in cases of necessity."

"But is this wise, Master Dogvane?"

"It is constitutional, sir," was the captain's reply. He might have added that it was also a customary thing to sell these ships, for which so much had been given, for a mere song after the panic was over.

The first lord continued, "Then as to what I have done, sir, I have had the Admiral Superintendent's house at your principal naval station thoroughly repaired, cleaned, and re-decorated. All your ships that float are in a serviceable condition, and as they have no enemy to contend against, except the elements, they occasionally run into one another, just to keep their hands in, and occasionally a ship is sunk or disabled. Although we have a due regard for your great wealth, we do not encourage a too frequent repetition of this, as it is extremely costly. There is still 'a sweet little cherub that sits up aloft and looks out for the life of poor Jack.' That is, he would no doubt sit up aloft if he had anything to sit upon or any place to put it."

"You see, sir," exclaimed Dogvane with delight, "what excellent hands your navy is in. Your first lord can also tip you a stave, as they say at sea. He can sing you 'Oh! Pilot, 'tis a fearful night,' or 'All in the Downs,' he is also exceptionally good at a break down."

This high praise quite pleased the first lord, and wishing to advance himself still more in the good graces of his master, he said, "I can take an observation. I can use the strangest of sea oaths, and I can at all times make it eight bells."

"A man, sir, who can at all times make it eight bells, must needs be a good sailor," Dogvane said.

"But let me see him work the ship, Master Dogvane."

The first lord being thus called upon to show his professional skill, told the sea lord to stand by and look out for squalls, which he accordingly did.

"Close by fours—" cried the first lord; but the sea lord stopped him at once by saying, "Steady there, shipmate! you are getting mixed."

There was now a long discussion between the two lords of the Buccaneer's Admiralty. The first lord declaring he never mixed, the first sea lord declaring that he did. "Anyhow," cried the latter, "put your helm down and go about."

"Aye, aye," cried the first lord. "Helm's a lee; raise tacks and sheet. All hands splice the main brace!"

"Capital! capital!" exclaimed Dogvane, "your first lord, sir, is indeed an excellent sailor. He can actually splice the main brace and I feel sure that must be a most arduous undertaking; requiring much skill and intelligence. He seems, indeed, to be gaining so much knowledge of his profession that I shall have to move him to some other department, probably the army; he has some slight knowledge of military matters, but not enough to render him unfit for the post of secretary of State for war. Fortunately the heads of your different departments are all inter-changeable."

"How about his accounts, Dogvane?" the Buccaneer asked.

"Ah! there, sir, I think you will find his ignorance most creditable. Accounts are a sort of thing that no high official could possibly be expected to understand."

"What does my sea lord say?" asked the Buccaneer.

"Rivet my bolts and split my plates! what do I say."

"Note, sir, the change," Dogvane exclaimed. "It used to be shiver my timbers, you see, sir, your first sea lord is quite in keeping with the progress of the age. These changes of course have not been brought about without much trouble and at great expense."

"What do I say, your honour!" cried the first sea lord, "why clear the decks for action and strike up the band."

"What!" exclaimed the Buccaneer, as the blood mounted to his face, "are we going to have a naval engagement? I have not seen such a thing, Dogvane, for these many years past."

The Buccaneer now looked on with surprise at the first sea lord, who, having thrown aside his cocked hat, folded his arms and danced round the deck on the circumference of a circle.

"What is all this, Master Dogvane?" the Buccaneer asked.

"He is going to dance you a hornpipe, sir. Your people are particularly fond of such things and they would come in crowds from miles away to see your first sea lord do the double shuffle."

"But I don't want to see it, so stop him. I want to know something about my ships."

With very great difficulty the first sea lord was stopped, for he was well under weigh and it was some little time before they brought him up by hanging on to the swallow tails of his coat.

"What do I say?" he cried. "That must depend very much upon what I am expected to say. How's your head, captain?" This was addressed to Dogvane and was meant as a signal of distress, and not as an expression of solicitude for Dogvane's cranium. The hint was taken and the captain said that their master wanted to know if his ships were well found and whether he still ruled the sea.

To this the sea lord replied, "Every ship, sir, that is not in Davy Jones' locker, has the sea well under her, and, therefore, it may be asserted that she has complete control of the sea."

"Davy Jones' locker!" cried the Buccaneer in amazement, "why I sent very few of my ships there in olden days and my enemies sent still fewer."

Dogvane explained to his master that rapid strides had taken place in all things naval and that great changes had been brought about. "We have been so pressed for room, sir," he exclaimed, "that we have been obliged to turn Davy Jones' locker into one of your principal dockyards, where we keep many of your ships which are not required for immediate use."

The first sea lord doused, as sailors say, his starboard glim, and contemplated old Dogvane with the other, while a look of admiration and a jovial smile played over his weather-beaten face as he answered:

"Aye, aye, sir, and every year we send a ship or two there to be repaired. The remainder we tinker up ourselves." The old Buccaneer made no answer. Things had evidently changed very much indeed since he was himself afloat, but it never does for a master to display a want of knowledge before his servants. As to whether the Buccaneer had lost his skill in seamanship and ship-building was merely a matter of opinion. But there could be no doubt that anything he had lost in one direction was amply made up by what he had gained in the tinkering line. Here he could not be surpassed.

"All your guns," continued the first sea lord, "that are neither cracked nor burst are in excellent condition. Every ship that does not want for anything is particularly well found, and your sailors, sir, are as jolly and rollicking a lot of devils as ever turned a quid or drained a tot of grog."

"Capital! capital!" cried Dogvane, as he clapped his hands with delight, "such skill and knowledge must be rewarded. We must bestow some high distinctions upon these two officials. We must ennoble them and send round your Hat of maintenance." The lords of the Admiralty were then dismissed.

In passing, it may be said that the old Buccaneer had navigated the world in ships that, beside his present monsters, were but as cockle shells, and all his great victories had been gained on board his old wooden walls; but now his seamen were incased in iron or steel and had to live and fight almost under water, and it was a matter of constant dispute as to whether the Buccaneer had ships enough even to defend his own shores. Some people going so far as to say that not only had he not enough ships, but that he had no guns for what he had.