The first thing that saluted the Buccaneer's ears after all the rejoicings at his safe return were over, was a low, dull, rumbling sound as if distant thunder.

"What is that?" he asked of Dogvane.

"I know not, sir; but the atmosphere is heavy, and there may be a storm abrewing; but I hear nothing." This was an official statement on the part of Dogvane that was wide of the truth.

The art of lying has already been touched upon; but there are many kinds of lies which have not been enumerated. There is the oblique lie, the lie direct. The lie by implication and insinuation; and passing by the various kinds of social lie there is the official and the diplomatic lie. The latter is very much superior to the "lie vulgaris" or common lie, and it moves in the very best society. It is a most polished courtier. The official and diplomatic lie require very great skill and study so as not to betray their owner. They require also a natural aptitude, a schooled countenance, so that neither the eye, the voice, nor the mouth discloses their secret. Your diplomatist especially, to be successful, should be indeed a most refined and accomplished liar.

Dogvane knew very well what the rumbling sound was. It was the Drum Ecclesiastic. He thought for a moment and then muttered to himself, "Who the devil has set that old instrument going?" Then after a pause he said: "The handiwork, I'll be bound, of that young rascal Random Jack. Drat his little skin! He's always in mischief."

But louder and louder grew the sound, and in a short time there could be no disguising the fact that the Church was sounding the alarm. Dogvane thought it best to take at once the bull by the horns. "It's a bold party stroke, sir," he said, "a very bold party stroke and well worthy of the other watch. Knowing your love for the old craft, God bless her! they have tried to frighten you. Their goings on are really shameful." But now a most imposing procession formed up on board the Church Hulk and headed by the High Priest, proceeded on board the Ship of State and discovered to the Buccaneer and his trusty captain the vile and sinful plot of the cook's caboose.

No doubt in olden times the cook, the butcher and the carpenter, with his mate, would have been cursed with bell and book, when the devil would have put in an appearance and have carried the conspirators away with him bodily to his infernal regions; but cursings have gone out of fashion. In fact they seem to have lost their power, like drugs that have been too long kept. The High Priest told the Buccaneer that his cherished Church was in danger. That in fact there was a conspiracy afloat, to board and rob her, and then to cast her adrift, when Heaven alone knew what would become of her. Of one thing he felt certain; the many flocks would wander about without shepherds, or would be tended by those of inferior learning and understanding. The High Priest then began to lecture the Buccaneer, thinking no doubt that he was the same pliant and penitent gentleman as of old, when he was ever ready to fall upon his knees and cry, "I have sinned." But now when the High Priest told him that the danger to his Church was brought about by his selfishness, worldliness, and general religious indifference, and that to counteract all this accumulation of evil he ought to humble himself and scourge himself inwardly by prayers and fastings, the bold Buccaneer opened out in an altogether unexpected manner, and said: "Should not all this be done by my State Church? At least," he added, "set me the example, and where you lead there will I follow; but it is no use your pointing up the steep hill which leads to heaven and bidding me walk, while you and all your followers drive there in a well cushioned carriage and pair. If my Church is in danger, the danger comes from within, and you have no one to blame but yourselves. Let the crew of your ship, my lord, cease squabbling amongst themselves about trifles. Let them set their face against the pomps and vanities of the world, and let them look well within to see if by chance any worldliness has got possession of their own hearts."

This cruel language shocked the Buccaneer's High Priest, and he was about to reply; but the Buccaneer stopped him, saying; "Stay, stay a minute, in the past you have lectured me a good deal and told me, no doubt, many a home truth, and I thank you. I now return you the compliment, for it may be of service to you, as you say your Church is in danger. All things on board that old Hulk there are not as they should be; for while some of her crew lead the life of Dives, too many have to walk in the footsteps of Lazarus. The labour and the hire are not equally divided. I am going now to look a little more into my affairs, and I shall soon call upon you to render a just account of your stewardship. Many of you do not act as if you believed in what you preach: the salt having lost in many cases its flavour.

"How have the mighty fallen?" exclaimed the High Priest. The Buccaneer, misunderstanding the words of the head of his Church, replied, "And pray, whose fault is that? Perhaps there are hypocrites and even Pharisees amongst you; those who seek the highest places in the synagogues and at the social table, and who are worshippers of forms and ceremonies." What wickedness was here! But this bold, bad man continued in the same strain, or stay, it may have been the wicked devil who was making this eminently respectable and pious old Buccaneer, his mouthpiece. "Has pride, arrogance, and self-sufficiency any place in your hearts?" he asked. "Has my priesthood fallen and been led captive by mammon and selfishness, and while they fix one eye constantly upon heaven, do they not with the other look too lovingly upon the earth? Fast then and pray yourselves, for thy faith may be weak, and as the Israelites of old fell away and worshipped more gods than one, so too may my priests have set up some graven image or images, and here may lie the danger. Search well yourselves and put your ship in order. It is no use preaching to the world abstinence if you do not practise it yourselves. Our religion was placed in poor soil, tended and cared for by mendicant labourers, and it flourished. The workers now are of a different caste, the spirit of the first teachers has passed away, and the flower fades."

This was not a bad specimen of pulpit oratory, coming as it did from an old gentleman who had commenced life as a pirate; but it is well known that the greater the sinner the greater the saint. The language of the bold Buccaneer was fully discussed and fully condemned, and the great Church drum still kept beating. The sound went out all over the land; was heard upon many a hearth, and put fear into many a breast, for the old Church Hulk was dearly loved, with all her faults, more especially by the Buccaneer's women, in whose eyes a priest was little less than a god clothed in a decent suit of black.

But what was going on on board the Church Hulk all this time? The burning question of Church in danger was pushed aside, and high above everything else the voice of controversy could be heard arguing upon a matter of the deepest import to all the world. It was the question of eternal punishment, which, alas! can never be satisfactorily settled; as to whether the soul that dies in sin is surely for ever damned. The adventurous spirits who had started this rank and soul-destroying heresy of hope even beyond the grave were few in number. These seemed to have a beautiful faith, if an erroneous one, in God's unbounded mercy, which, overtaking the poor lost soul before it entered the gates of hell, might in some cases bring it back to the bright realms of eternal bliss. For so rank a heresy there was perhaps neither authority nor justification, and it did more honour to the hearts of the schismatics than it did credit to their understanding or learning; so it was thought. The majority of the disputants stuck, however, to the penal clause, which says that the soul that dies in sin shall surely perish. These fortified themselves behind ramparts built up of dogma and bound together with the strong and lasting cement of human passions. Over the battlements they hung out their banner, on which was emblazoned the words, "No Surrender." The little band were driven back and had to seek consolation in the thought that no matter what is said and done, God is the God of Mercy.

Poor, poor soul, how heavily you are weighted. Given passions, and desires, and all kinds of forbidden fruit placed well within your reach, with a longing to taste. Pluck, and you are straightway handed over to the devil, to be flagellated, tortured, and burned everlastingly. So it is said. Ye priests, in the past, what a heaven and what a hell have ye made for human beings! See the father torn away from his fair-haired child and hurled headlong to the bottomless pit, where there is nothing but weeping and gnashing of teeth, and a fire that is never quenched. See the mother taken away from her erring son, and winged up to heaven with a bleeding, broken heart. See the sister with her loving arms twined round some lost brother's neck, and crying out in her anguish, "Lord! Lord! let me share his lot; let his misery be mine. Let me moisten his parched lips with my tears. Where he lies let me lie also." But the bitter parting has to come, and while one sobbing is taken to Heaven, the other is sent to Hell. In the dark clouds that superstition has hung over trembling humanity we see a little rift, as vivid in brightness as when the Heavens are cleft with lightning, and through the rent we see pale-faced Pity weeping for the loss of her children.