Once in a smoking-car, I saw a scene That made my blood stand still.... While the sun smouldered in a great ravine, And I, with elbow on the window-sill, Was watching the dim ember of the west, Half-heard, but poignant as a bell For fire, there came a moan; the voice of one in hell. I turned. Across the car were two young men, Yet hardly more than boys, French by their look, and brothers, And one was moaning on the other’s breast. His face was hid away. I could not tell What words he said, half English and half French. I only knew Both men were suffering, not one but two. And then that face came into view, Gaunt and unshaved, with shadows and wild eyes, For all his mate could do, Rang out, a shrill and savage noise, And tears ran down the stubble of his cheek. The other face was younger, clean and sad With the manful stricken beauty of a lad Who had intended always to be glad. .... The touch of his compassion, like a mother’s, Pitied the madman, soothed him and caressed. And then I heard him speak, In a low voice: “Mon frÈre, mon frÈre! Calme-toi! Right here’s your place.” And, opening his coat, he pressed Upon his heart the wanderer’s face And smoothed the tangled hair. After a moment peaceful there, The maniac screamed—struck out and fell Across his brother’s arm. Love could not quell His anger. Wrists together high in air He rose and with a yell Brought down his handcuffs toward his brother’s face— But his hands were pinned below his waist, Around his arms and feet And he was laid upon the narrow seat. And then that sound, That moan Of one forsaken and alone! “Seigneur! Le createur du ciel et de la terre! Forgotten me! Forgotten me!” .... And when the voice grew weak The brother leaned again, embraced The huddled body. But a shriek Repulsed him: “Non! DÉtache-moi! I don’t care For you. Non! Tu es l’homme qui m’a trahi! Non! Tu n’es pas mon frÈre!” But as often as that stricken mind would fill With the great anguish and the rush of hate, The boy, his young eyes older, older, Would curve his shoulder To the other’s pain and hold that haunted face close to his face And say: “O wait! You will know me better by and by. Right here’s your place.” .... The gleam! and then the blinded stare, The cry: “Non, tu n’es pas mon frÈre!” I saw myself, myself, as blind As he. And something smothers My reason. And I do not know my brothers.... But every day declare: “Non, tu n’es pas mon frÈre!” But in the outcome, I can see.... Closer than any brother Shall they be to one another And to me, Closer than mother, father, daughter, son, O closer than a lover shall they be, When madness like a storm shall roll Away, leaving illumination. Within everyone The nearness has begun Toward some loved life and toward the soul With beauty and with love.—O I have ached and longed in the embrace Of one I love to be undone Of differences, to yield and run Within the very blood and being of my dear, One body and one face, One spirit in all space, Mingled and indissoluble. And I have felt a mortal tear Smart on my lids, when I had been so near To Celia that I knew not which was I, Yet the day returned between us and the sky Held distances that were not clear To us and we were two again that had been almost one. A mother yields herself to enter Her child, who nestles close and sleeps With all his wisdom pressed For comfort to her breast. I can remember my relinquishment Of consciousness and care, Of being there. And then I loved a starry boy of three, Who looked about him, smiled and took to me, Held out his arms and chose me among men For his companion, to confide His smiles in and to be At ease with. Closely by my side He sat and touched the world, to see If it were solid and worth touching. When he died, I too was dead ... and yet I hear him say, Laughing within my heart today: “Lo, being you, And having lived your years, this will I do, And this, and this!” I have my boy again. I greet him nearer than a kiss. And so, from birth to death, out of confusion The secret creeps Across the deeps From its eternal centre Communion is the cause and the conclusion And the unfailing sacrament Not only of the mystical frequenter Of temples, where the body of the dead Creates divine The living body through the bread And wine, But God discovers and discovers His beauty in all lovers. And, to make His beauty whole, Body and body, soul and soul, combine His one identity with yours and mine. I know a fellow in a steel-mill who, intent Upon his labours and his happiness, had meant In his own wisdom to be blest, Had made his own unaided way To schooling, opportunity, Success. And then he loved and married. And his bride, After a brief year, died. I went to him to see If I might comfort him. The comfort came to me. There is unwonted nearness with the dead.” I felt his two hands take The sentence from me with a grip Forged in the mills. He told me that his tears were shed Before her breath went. After that, instead Of grief, she came herself. He felt her slip Into his being like a miracle, her lip Whispering on his, to slake His need of her.—“And in the night I wake With wonder and I find my bride And her embrace there in our bed, Within my very being, not outside! .... We have each other more, much more,” He said, “now than before. This very moment while I shake Your hand, my friend, Not only I, But she is touching you—and laughs with me because I cried For her.... People would think me crazy if I told. To let you meet my bride!” It was not madness. David’s eye Was clear and open-seeing. His life Had faced in death and understood in his young wife, As I when Celia died, The secret of God’s being. |