The "units" or "areas" of London,

However you turn 'em or twist 'em,

Must be ranged—or the Capital's undone—

On the (Birmingham) Decimal System,

For London's just ten times as big

As the Midland's Miraculous Model.

For the L. C. C. care not a fig,

Their "Unification" is twaddle:

Lord! what can such novices know

Of the right size for Municipalities?

Sir John should take council with Joe,

Who is old, and has dealt with realities.

Great Plato might prate about "types,"

Which were stored in some limbo ideal.

His eye modern Brummagem wipes,

'Tis the standard for all, and 'tis real.

No. London's "divides" must be Ten!

'Tis no matter what you'll be terming 'em,

But surely 'tis clear to all men

That they mustn't be bigger than Birmingham!