RIP VAN WINKLE

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A Village.—House, with a sign of “George III.”Two or three tables.Villagers discovered, smoking. Vedder, Knickerbocker, Rory, Clausen at table. Chorus at rise of curtain.

CHORUS.

In our native land, where flows the Rhine,
In infancy we culled the vine:
Although we toiled with patient care,
But poor and scanty was our fare.

SOLO.

Till tempting waves, with anxious toil,
We landed on Columbia's soil;
Now plenty, all our cares repay,
So laugh and dance the hours away.

CHORUS.

Now plenty, all our cares repay,
So laugh and dance the hours away;
Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha!
So laugh, ha, ha! and dance the hours away.
Vedder.

Neighbour Clausen, on your way hither, saw you anything of our friend, Rip Van Winkle? Where there's a cup of good liquor to be shared, he's sure to be on hand—a thirsty soul.

Knickerbocker.

Truly, the man that turns up his nose at good liquor is a fool, as we Dutchmen have it; but cut no jokes on Rip; remember, I'm soon to be a member of his family: and any insult offered to him, I shall resent in the singular number, and satisfaction must follow, as the Frenchmen have it.

Vedder.

So, Knickerbocker, you are really determined to marry Rip's sister, the pretty Alice?

[pg 041]
Knickerbocker.

Yes, determined to be a prisoner in Hymen's chains, as the lovers have it. I've got Rip's consent, I've got Alice's consent, and I've got my own consent.

Clausen.

But have you got the dame's consent, eh?

Knickerbocker.

There I'm dished and done up brown; would you believe it? she calls me a long, scraggy, outlandish animal, and that I look like two deal boards glued together!

Rory.

Here comes Alice, and with her, Rip's daughter.

Enter Alice, with Lorrenna. [Lowena]1

Alice.

Come along, loiterer! Woe betide us when we get home, for having tarried so long! What will the dame say?

Lorrenna.

Well, it's not my fault, for you have been up and down the lane a dozen times, looking for the schoolmaster, Knickerbocker.

Alice.

Hold your tongue, Miss, it's no such thing.

Lorrenna.

You know you love him.

Alice.

How do you know that, Miss Pert?

Lorrenna.

I can see it; and seeing is believing, they say. Oh, you're monstrous jealous of him, you know you are.

Knickerbocker advances.
Alice.

Jealous! I, jealous of him? No, indeed, I never wish to see his ugly face again.

Knickerbocker.

Say not so, sweet blossom of the valley, for in that case I shall shoot myself in despair.

Alice.

Oh, don't think of such a thing, for then your ghost might haunt me.

Lorrenna.

And I'm sure you would rather have him than his ghost, wouldn't you, Alice?

Knickerbocker.

That's a very smart child. But Alice, sweet Alice, can't I drop in this evening, when the old folks are out of the way?

Alice.

Not for the world; if the dame were to find you in the house, I don't know what would happen.

Lorrenna.

Don't you know, Alice, mammy always goes out for an hour in the evening, to see her neighbour, Dame Wrigrim; now, if you [To Knickerbocker.] come at eight o'clock, and throw some gravel at the window, there's no knowing but you might see Alice.

[pg 042]
Knickerbocker.

That's an uncommon clever girl; but, Alice, I'm determined to turn over a new leaf with Dame Van Winkle; the next time I see her, I'll pluck up [my] courage and say to her—

Dame.

[Without.] Alice! Alice! odds bodikins and pins, but I'll give it you when I catch you.

The Villagers exit.
Knickerbocker.

Run, Alice, run!

[Alice, Lorrenna and Knickerbocker run to right.

Dame.

[Without.] Alice!

[Alice, Lorenna and Knickerbocker exeunt hastily.

Rory.

Egad! the dame's tongue is a perfect scarecrow!

Vedder.

The sound of her voice sets them running just as if she were one of the mountain spirits, of whom we hear so much talk. [But where the deuce can Rip be all this while? [Rip sings without.] But talk of the devil and his imps appear.]2

Enter Rip Van Winkle, with gun, game-bag, &c.
Rip.

Rip, Rip, wass is dis for a business. You are a mix nootze unt dat is a fact. Now, I started for de mountains dis mornin', determined to fill my bag mit game, but I met Von Brunt, de one-eyed sergeant—[comma see hah, unt brandy-wine hapben my neiber friend];3 well, I couldn't refuse to take a glass mit him, unt den I tooks anoder glass, unt den I took so much as a dozen, [do]4 I drink no more as a bottle; he drink no more as I—he got so top heavy, I rolled him in de hedge to sleep a leetle, for his one eye got so crooked, he never could have seed his way straight; den I goes to de mountain, [do]5 I see double, [d——d]6 a bird could I shooted. But I stops now, I drinks no more; if anybody ask me to drink, I'll say to dem—[Vedder comes down, and offers cup to him.]—here is your [go-to-hell],7 and your family's [go-to-hell], and may you all live long and [prosper].8 [Drinks.

Vedder.

Why, neighbour Rip, where have you been all day? [pg 043] We feared some of the [Elfin]9 goblins of the Catskill had caught you.

Rip.

Ha, ha! I never see no ghosts, though I've fought mit spirits in my time, ha, ha!

Vedder.

And they always throw you, eh? ha, ha!

Rip.

Dat's a fact! Ha, ha, ha!

Vedder.

But, Rip, where have you been?

Rip.

Oh, very hard at work10—very busy; dere is nothing slipped [fun my fingers as was come at abe.]11

Rory.

They appear to have slipped through your game bag though, for it's full of emptiness.—Ha, ha, ha!

Rip.

Ho, ho, ho! cut no jokes at my bag or I'll gib you de sack.

Vedder.

Come, Rip, sit down, take a pipe and a glass and make yourself comfortable.

Rip.

[Nine, nine—ech con neiched—]12 it behoves a man to look after his interest unt not drink all de while, I shall den be able to manage—

Vedder.

Your wife, Rip?

Rip.

Manage mine [frow]13? Can you fly to de moon on a [paper]14 kite? Can you drink all de beer and brandy-wine at one gulp? when you can do dat, mine goot [im himmel]15 you can manage mine [frow]. [All laugh.16

Rory.

Take one glass, Rip.17

Rip.

No, I won't touch him.

Vedder.

Come, come, lay hold.

Rip.

Now I'll be [d——d fun]18 I does.

Vedder.

Well, if you won't. [All go to table but Rip.

Rip.

Dere is [a]19 drinks, dere is [a] drinks; I have [conquered]20 temptation at last. Bravo resolution! bravo resolution; resolution, you shall have one glass for dat.21 [Goes to table.

Omnes.

Ha, ha, ha!

[pg 044]
Rory.

Here, Rip, here's a glass at your service, and as for the contents I'll warrant it genuine and no mistake. [Gives Rip a cup.

Rip.

Rory, here is your [go-to-hell],22 unt your family's [go-to-hell], un may you all live long unt [prosper].23

Rory.

Come, Rip, give us a stave.

Vedder.

Yes, yes, Rip, a stave, for the old dame will be after you soon and then we will all have to make a clearance.

Rip.

Oh, tunner wasser! [won't]24 my old woman skin me when I get home.

Vedder and Rory.

Ha, ha, ha! come, the song, the song.

Rip.

Well, here is Rip Van Winkle's warning to all single fellows.

SONG.—Rip.

List, my friends, to caution's voice,
Ere de marriage knot you tie;
It is [the devil],25 mit shrews to splice,
Dat nobody can deny, deny,
Dat nobody can deny.

Chorus.—That nobody can deny, &c.

When a wife to rule once wishes,
Mit poor spouse 'tis all my eye,
I'm [d——d]26 if she don't wear de breeches,
Dat nobody can deny, deny,
Dat nobody can deny.

Chorus.—That nobody can deny, &c.

Yet dere is a charm about dem,
Do dere voices are so high
We can't do mit'em, [Pause.
Nor we can't do mit-out 'em,
Dat nobody can deny, deny,
Dat nobody can deny.

Chorus.—That nobody can deny, &c.27

[pg 045]
Dame.

[Without.] Rip, Rip! I'll stretch your ears when I get hold of them.

Rip.

[Mine goot im himmel],28 dere is my frow.

Dame.

[Without.] Rip! you lazy varmint! Rip!

Rip.

[Gets under the table with bottle.] Look out, boys! de wild cat's coming.

Music.Vedder, Rory and Clausen, at table.Enter Dame, with a stick.

Dame.

Where is this wicked husband of mine! odds bodikins and pins! I heard his voice; you've hid him somewhere! you ought to be ashamed of yourselves to inveigle a husband from a tender, loving spouse; but I'm put upon by all, because they know the mildness of my temper.—[They laugh.]—Odds bodikins and curling irons, but some of you shall laugh the other sides of your mouths—I'll pull your pates for you.29

Music.Chases them round table; they exit.Dame upsets table and discovers Rip.

Dame.

Oh, you Rip of all rips! what have you to say for yourself?

Rip.

Here is your [go-to-hell],30 unt your family's, unt may you all live long and [prosper].

Dame.

[Pulling him down the stage by the ear.] I'm cool—that is to say not very hot: but the mildest temper in the world would be in a passion at such treatment. Get home, you drunken monster, or I sha'n't be able to keep my hands off you. Tell me, sir, what have you been about all day?

Rip.

Hard at work, my dumpsy dumpsy; de first ting I see dis morning was a fine fat rabbit.

Dame.

A rabbit? Oh, I do like rabbits in a stew; I like everything in a stew.

Rip.

I be [d——d]31 but dat is a fact.

Dame.

Well, well, the rabbit?

Rip.

I was going to tell you, well, dere was de rabbit feeding in de grass.

[pg 046]
Dame.

Well, well, Rip?

Rip.

I [puts]32 my gun to my shoulder—

Dame.

Yes,—

Rip.

I takes goot aim mit him.

Dame.

Yes,—

Rip.

I [pulls]33 my trigger, unt—

Dame.

Bang went the gun and down the rabbit fell.

Rip.

Eh? snap went [de]34 gun and off de rabbit run. Ha, ha, ha!

Dame.

No!

Rip.

I be [d——d fun]35 dat is a fact.

Dame.

And you shot nothing?

Rip.

Not dat time; but de next time, I picks me my flint, unt I [creeps]36 up to de little [pond]37 by de old field, unt dere—what do you [tink]38 I see?

Dame.

Ducks?

Rip.

More as fifty black ducks—ducks as big as [a goose]39—well, I hauls up again.

Dame.

And so will I [Raising stick.] if you miss fire this time.

Rip.

Bang!

Dame.

How many down?

Rip.

[One!]40

Dame.

Not more than one duck out of fifty?

Rip.

Yes, a great deal more as [one] duck.

Dame.

Then you shot more than one?

Rip.

Yes, more as one duck,—I shot one old bull.

Dame.

What?

Rip.

I'm [d——d fun] dat is a fact! dat was one down, and [my goot im himmel]41 how he did roar and bellow, unt lash his tail, unt snort and sneeze, unt sniff! Well, de bull puts right after me, unt I puts right away fun de bull: well, de bull comes up mit me just as I was climbing de fence, unt he catch me mit his horns fun de [seat]42 of my breeches, unt sent me flying more [pg 047] as a mile high.—Well, by-and-bye directly, I come down aready in a big tree, unt dere I sticks fast, unt den—

Dame.

You went fast asleep for the rest of the day.

Rip.

Dat's a fact. How43 you know dat? you must be a witch.

Dame.

[Catching him by the collar.] Home, sir, home! you lazy scamp. [Beating him.

Rip.

But, mine lublicka frow—

Dame.

Home! [Beating him.

Rip.

[Nine! nine!—]44

Dame.

Home! [Beats him.

Rip.

[Mine goot im himmel.]45 [Music.Dame beats him off.

Footnotes

1.
So spelled in the Kerr version.
2.
Assigned to Clausen in the Kerr version. Preceding this bracket,
Clausen. Well, she is a tartar, there's no denying that.
Vedder. Not but if she were my wife instead of Rip's. I warrant I'd soon tame her.
Clausen. Not you! But where the deuce ...
3.
Not in the Kerr version.
4.
“but” in K.
5.
“but as” in K.
6.
“not a” in K.
7.
“Goot-hell” in K.
8.
“brosber” in K. In this speech, there is a variation in dialect as “v” for “w” in such words as “was,” and “v” for “o” in such a word as “one.”
9.
Not in K.
10.
"vork" in K.
11.
“froo my fingers as vas comeatable,” in K.
12.
“Nein, nein” in K.
13.
“frau” in K.
14.
“baber” in K.
15.
“freund, den” in K.
16.
Here is given in Kerr, the following:
Vedder. I wish she was my wife, I'd manage her.
Rip. And I wish she vas your vife too, or anybody's vife, so long as she vasn't mine vife.
17.
Rory's speech, in K., begins with “Come.”
18.
“stewed vhen” in K.
19.
“der” in K.
20.
“gonguered” in K.
21.
In K., variation only in dialect form.
22.
“goot-hell” in K.
23.
“brosber” in K.
24.
“vont” in K. The present edition does not attempt to indicate such slight variations and differences.
25.
“der tyfil” in K.
26.
“stewed” in K.
27.
In this song, “v” takes the place of “w” in K.
28.
“Der tyfil” in K.
29.
In K. there follows:
Vedder. Oh. I wish I was your husband, Dame Winkle. [Exit.
Dame. You, my husband, you! [To the others.] Out of my sight, reprobates.
30.
“goot-hell” in K.
31.
“stewed” in K.
32.
“buts” in K.
33.
“bulls” in K.
34.
“der” in K.
35.
“stewed but” in K.
36.
“creebs” in K.
37.
“bond” in K.
38.
“think” in K.
39.
“gooses” in K.
40.
“von” in K.
41.
“den” in K.
42.
“back” in K.
43.
“do” follows “how” in K.
44.
“Nein, nein” in K.
45.
In K., Rip's speech is “Ter tyfill but I have cotch him dis time!”

A Plain Chamber.

Enter Derric Van Slaus.46

[pg 048]
Derric.

Should the present application fail, I am a ruined man; all my speculations will be frustrated, and my duplicity exposed; yes, the dissipation of my son must inevitably prove his ruin as well as mine. To supply his wants, the public money has been employed; and, if unable to replace it, heaven knows what may be the consequence. But my son is now placed with an able advocate in New York, and should he pursue the right path, there may be still hopes of his reformation.

Herman.

[Without.] My father, you say, is this way?

Derric.

What voice is that; my son? What can have recalled him thus suddenly? Some new misadventure.—Oh, my forboding thoughts!

Enter Herman.

Derric.

Herman, what brings you back? Are all my cautions thus lightly regarded, that they can take no hold upon your conduct?

Herman.

You have good cause for warmth, sir, but learn the reason of my disobedience, ere you condemn. Business of importance has urged me hither—such as concerns us both most intimately.

Derric.

Some fresh extravagance, no doubt, to drain my little left, and set a host of creditors loose upon me.

Herman.

Not so, sir, but the reverse. List! you know our neighbour, Rip Van Winkle?

Derric.

Know him? Aye, his idleness is proverbial; you have good cause to recollect him too, since 'twas by his courage your life was preserved, when attacked by the famished wolf.

Herman.

He has a daughter scarcely seven years old; now, the attorney whom I serve has been employed to draw up the will and settle the affairs of this girl's aunt, who, for some slight offered by Van Winkle, has long since discarded the family. At her death, the whole of her immense wealth, in cash and land, is the inheritance of the girl, who is, at this moment, the richest presumptive heiress in the land.

Derric.

What connection can Van Winkle's fortune have with ours?

Herman.

Listen! Were it possible to procure his signature to a contract that his daughter, when of age, should be married to me, on this security money might be raised by us to any amount. Now, my good father, am I comprehensible?

[pg 049]
Derric.

Truly, this seems no visionary dream, like those in which, with fatal pertinacity, you have so oft indulged; and, on recollection, the rent of his tenement is in arrears; 'twill offer favourable opportunity for my calling and sounding him; the contract must be your care.

Herman.

'Tis already prepared and lacks only his signature.—[Presenting it.] Lawyers, who would do justice to their clients, must not pause at conscience; 'tis entirely out of the question when their own interest is concerned.

Derric.

Herman, I like not this black-leg manner of proceeding: yet it augurs thou wilt be no pettifogger. I'll to Van Winkle straight and, though not legalized to act, yet in this case I can do work which honest lawyers would scorn. [Exit.

Herman.

[Solus.] True; the honest lawyer lives by his reputation, and therefore pauses to undertake a cause he knows unjust: but how easily are some duped. Can my father for a moment suppose that the rank weeds of youth are so easily uprooted? No! what is to be done, good father of mine, but to serve myself? young men of the present generation cannot live without the means of entering into life's varieties and this supply will henceforth enable me to do so, to the fullest extent of my ambitious wishes. [Exit.

Footnotes

46.
and Herman in K. The scene, which is different, runs as follows:
Herman. Lecture me as much as you will, father, if at the close of your sermon you are prepared to supply me with the money that I need.
Derric. Money! that is eternally your cry. Your extravagances have almost ruined and soon will dishonour me. Oh! I am but justly punished for my mad indulgence of a son who was born only to be my bane and curse.
Herman. If you could but invent some fresh terms for my reproach! such frequent repetition becomes, I assure you, very wearisome.
Derric. You have caused me to plunge into debt, and I am now pursued by a host of creditors.
Herman. We must find a way to quiet them. And for the money I now require—
Derric. Not another dollar do you obtain from me. Already, to supply your cravings, I have misappropriated some of the public money, and I must replace it soon if I would avert the shame and degradation with which I now am threatened.
Herman. And from which I will save you.
Derric. You?
Herman. Yes. I! Rip van Winkle, your tenant—
Derric. What has that idle, dissipated fellow to do with the present matter?
Herman. Much, as I will show you, and his daughter more.
Derric. His daughter?
Herman. Now scarcely seven years old, I believe. This girl has an aunt residing in New York, who has long since, in consequence of an affront received from Van Winkle, discarded the whole family. But I have discovered that, of which they have no notion.
Derric. What do you mean?
Herman. Why, that the whole of this aunt's fortune, and she is immensely rich, must of necessity, at the old lady's death, become the inheritance of the little Lowena.
Derric. And in what way can that affect us?
Herman. You shall hear. I have already caused a contract to be prepared, and to which you must obtain Rip Van Winkle's signature.
Derric. What is that contract?
Herman. You shall read it presently. Van Winkle is an easy soul, and at present, I believe, your debtor.
Derric. Yes, considerably in arrears with the rent of the tenement, which he holds from me.
Herman. Obtain his signature to the contract I am about to give you, and 'twill be a security on which money may be raised to any amount.
Derric. You amaze me, I—
Herman. You must have cash, father, to relieve you from your unpleasant difficulties, and I, for those delights of youth without which there is no advantage in being young. [Exeunt.]

SCENE III.

Rip's Cottage.—Door.—Window in flat.—A closet in flat, with dishes, shelves, &c.—Clothes-basket, with clothes.—Table, chairs, arm-chair, with cloak over it.—Broom on stage.

Knickerbocker enters cautiously.

Knickerbocker.

Zooks! I'm venturing into a tiger's den in quest of a lamb. All's clear, however; and, could I but pop on little Alice, how we would bill and coo. She comes! lie still, my fluttering heart.

Enter Alice.47

Alice.

[Without observing Knickerbocker.] There, there, go to sleep. Ah! Knickerbocker, how I love you, [spite of all the strange ways that you pursue.]48

Knickerbocker.

[Aside.] Sensible, susceptible soul! [But merit ever meets its recompense.]49

[pg 050]
Alice.

No wonder I am fascinated; [his figure is so elegant, and then his education! I never see him, but I am ready to jump into his loving arms. [Turning, she is caught in the embrace of Knickerbocker.]50

Knickerbocker.

This is too much for human nature to support; [this declaration is a banquet that gods might prize.51] Beauteous angel! hear me, whilst I proclaim—

[Kneeling.

Dame.

[Without.] Go along, you drunken brute.

Knickerbocker.

The devil! 'tis Dame Van Winkle! [what's to become of me?

Alice.

If you're found here I'm ruined! you must conceal yourself—but where?

Knickerbocker.

That's the important question; oh,]52 I'll hop into the cupboard.

Alice.

Not for the world! she is sure to want something out of it. Here, here, get into this clothes-basket, and let me cover you over with the foul linen.

Knickerbocker.

It's a very foul piece of business altogether but I must stomach it whether I will or no.

Music.—She puts him into the basket and covers him with linen.

Dame enters, dragging in Rip.

Dame.

And now, sir, I've got you home, what have you to say for yourself, I should like to know?

Rip.

Nothing, [my]53 darling, de least said is soonest mended, and so you shall have all de talk to yourself.—Now ain't dat liberal?

Dame.

Where's all the game you were to bring home?

Rip.

On de wing still: wouldn't venture to come mitin fire; for though dey missed mine gun, dere's one ting for certain, I never miss your blowing up.

Dame.

My blowing up! Odds bodikins and pins! I shall never be able to contain myself! Where's the money to pay the rent, you oaf?

Rip.

I don't know.—Do you?

Dame.

You'll go to prison, and that'll be the end on't.

[pg 051]
Rip.

Come, no more quarrelling to-night. [We'll]54 see about de rent money to-morrow morning.

Dame.

To-morrow! it's always to-morrow with you. So, Alice, you are sitting and idling as usual, just like your brother, a precious pair of soft pates.

Rip.

Soft [pate]55—pretty hard I guess, or it would have been [fructured]56 long since and dat's a fact.

Dame.

And now, Alice, come with me that I may satisfy myself how you have disposed of the children, for in these matters you are just such a crawler as that vagrum there, [Is retiring.] that terrapin!

Rip.

Terrapin! Ah, dame, I leaves you to go the whole hog, but hark'ee, my lovey, before you go, won't you return de leetle bottle which you manage to get from me [last night]?57

Dame.

Odds bodikins, and pins! A man already drunk, and asking for more liquor! You sha'n't have a drop, you sot, that you shall not. The bottle indeed! not you, eh! faith!

[Exit with Alice.

Rip.

[Tunder]58 take me if I don't [think]59 but what she has [finished]60 it herself, and dat's de fact. My nose always sniffs like a terrier's; 'tis in de cupboard, her Hollands;—so, here goes to nibble.

Music.—Rip opens the closet door cautiously, and is rummaging for a bottle, when he treads on Knickerbocker, who roars out lustily. Rip, in his sudden alarm, upsets the [porcelain and glass];61 and, falling, rolls into the middle of the chamber, quaking in every limb, and vociferating loudly.

Rip.

Help! murder! fire! thieves!

Knickerbocker, [in the interim]62, darts out of the closet, and, [beyond the consciousness of future proceeding]63, throws himself into the arm-chair.—Alice, entering hastily, throws a cloak over him, which hides him from observation.—Dame enters, alarmed.

Dame.

Odds bodikins and pins! what's the matter, now?

[pg 052]
Rip.

[Raising his head cautiously.] Matter, indeed! [the devil's]64 in the cupboard! Oh, la! I'll be swammed.

Dame.

In the cupboard!—[Going there, sees china broken; squalling.]—All my fine porcelain destroyed! monster! vile, rapacious monster! A devil, indeed, has been in the cupboard, and that's you. The china, presented to me by my grand relations, which I set such store on, smashed into a thousand pieces; 'tis too much for my weak nerves. I shall swoon! I shall faint! [She sinks in the arm-chair, but immediately starts up, and, squalling, falls into Rip's arms.Knickerbocker regains the closet, unobserved by all, save Alice.

Dame.

Heaven have mercy on us! there was somebody in the chair! somebody in the chair!

Rip.

Phoo! there's nothing in de chair, save your old cloak, [Tossing it aside.] dat's all.

Dame.

I'm so alarmed—so agitated, that—Alice, put your hand into my pocket and you'll find a bottle. [Alice produces a bottle.

Rip.

[Aside.] A leetle bottle! Oh, dat's de [private]65 cupboard. Alice, let me hold de leetle bottle, whilst you fetch a glass for the old woman. [Alice, hastening off, brings a wine-glass, which Rip fills and gives to Dame.

Rip.

Here's your [go-to-hell],66 and your family's and may you live long and [prosper]67. [Drinks from the bottle; Alice, in the interim, proceeds to the closet and brings Knickerbocker out, who is making for the door, when, hearing some one approach, he again escapes to his retreat.

Alice.

[At door.] Oh, aunt! aunt! here's the burgomaster coming up the garden.

Dame.

Odds bodikins and pins! the burgomaster! what's to be done now? Coming for the rent! What's to be done now, I say?

Rip.

I'll go to bed and [think]68.

[Crosses.

Dame.

You sha'n't go to bed! you must make some fresh excuse;—you're famous at them to me;—you have got into the nobble and must get out of it as well as you can; I shall go and [pg 053] consult my friend, Dame Wrigrim; and Alice, should the pedlar woman come, desire her not to leave any more of her rubbish here.

As Dame retires, she meets Derric69 to whom she curtseys.

Derric.

Good evening, Dame.

Dame.

Your honour's servant. [Exit Dame.

Rip.

[Aside.] La! what a stew I'm in. Alice take yourself off, 'tis full time. Wish I was off too, mit all my heart and soul.

Alice.

[Aside.] Dear, dear! what will become of my poor Knickerbocker. [Exit.

Derric.

Well, honest Rip, how wags the world with you?

Rip.

Bad enough, sir, for though [labouring]70 from morn to night, I can make no advance in de world, though my industry is proverbial, and dat's a fact.

Derric.

Why, where the bottle is concerned, few, I believe, can boast so much industry.

Rip.

Dat is a fact; but I suppose you have called concerning de rent. [Aside.] How my heart [goes and comes!]71 [Aloud.] Now if your honour will be so [good]72 enough to—

Derric.

To write the receipt: certainly.

Rip.

Nine, nine! [Aside.] I'm stewed alive mit [perspiration.]73

Derric.

We'll talk of the rent at a future period! There is another affair on which I wish to consult you.

Rip.

Take a chair, your honour.—[Aside, rubbing his hands together.]—It's all right, by de hookey.—[Aloud.]—Take a glass mit me. [They take chairs.

Derric.

You know my only son, [whose life you preserved?]74

Rip.

Yes; and a [wild]75 harum-scarum [dog]76 he is. [Drinks.

Derric.

He [is now stationed in New York, studying the law, and]77 has become a staid, sober, prudent youth; and [now]78, 'tis my wish that he should settle in this, his native place, and [that he]79 marry some honest girl, who is altogether unacquainted with the frivolities of cities; and I have been thinking that in a [pg 054] few years your daughter will be grown up, and would make a suitable match for him. True, there will be some disparity in their ages, but as the years are on the side of the husband, so 'twill be all the better for the wife, in having a matured preceptor.

Rip.

Beg [pardon],80 sir; but it strikes me you are only carrying on your rigs mit me.

Derric.

No, on my honour; and, to convince you that I'm in earnest, I have brought with me a contract, by which our offspring, when of age, are bound to intermarry, or forfeit their several fortunes. I shall settle all mine on Herman, and I shall expect you to do the same for your daughter.

Rip.

Yah! yah! [ech woll]81; I'll give her all [I got]82; all my money; but she must be [d——d]83 smart if she can find ['em.]84 Take a drink, [Mr.]85 Burgomaster. [Drinks.

Derric.

Well, here are the two contracts, both binding and legally drawn.

Rip.

Yah! yah! [Drinks.Derric gives him the pen.] What you want me to do mit dis?

Derric.

Merely sign your name.

Rip.

Me, [put]86 my name to dat [paper], mitout my old woman knowing?—mine goot [friend],87 she would skin me. [Noise in closet.] [Schat! you witch!]88

Derric.

But I was about to propose, on condition of your signing the contract, to let you live rent free, in future.

Rip.

Rent free! I'll sign! but [stop]!89 my old woman [must] play [old hob]90 mit me—so put down dat I can break dat contract, if I choose, in twenty years and a day.—[Noise.]—[Schat! you witch!]91

Derric.

[Writing.] As you please.92 [Noise.

Rip.

Schat! you witch!93 [Drinks.

Derric.

Is that a cat, friend Rip? [Writing.

[pg 055]
Rip.

I don't know if it is a cat—but, if it is my dog [Snider],94 I wouldn't be in his skin when de old woman comes back.

Derric.

There, friend Rip, I have inserted, at your request, this codicil: “Should the said Rip Van Winkle think fit to annul this contract, within twenty years and a day, he shall be at full liberty to do so.”

Rip.

Yah, yah! [dos] is recht—dat is goot. Now [Mr.]95 Burgomaster, what you want me to do?

Derric.

Sign it!

Rip.

Wass?

Derric.

Sign!

Rip.

Give me de [paper]96.—[Takes it.]—How my head turns round.—[Reading.]—“Should the said Rip Van Winkle”—yah, yah! dat is me.—"Rip Van Winkle—twenty years and a day."—Oh, dat is all recht.—[Writing.]—R-i-p V-a-n—[Noise.]—Schat! you witch! W-i-n-k-l-e—now, dere he is.

Derric.

And there is the counterpart. [Gives it.

Rip.

Dis is for me, eh? I'll put him in my breast [pocket]97—yah, yah.

Derric.

Now, Rip, I must bid you good evening.

Rip.

Stop! Take some more liquor. Why, de bottle is empty. Here! Alice! Alice! get some more schnapps for de burgomaster.

Derric.

No, not to-night. [Rising.] But, should you want any you will always find a bottle for you at your old friend Rory's; so, good-night.

Rip.

Stop, [Mr.]98 Burgomaster! I will go and get dat bottle now.—[Rising.]—Alice, Alice! [comma see hah!]99

Enter Alice.

Rip.

Alice, give me mine hat. [Alice gives it.] Now, take care of de house till I comes back: if de old woman comes before I gets home, tell her I am gone out mit de burgomaster on [par—par—tick—partickler]100 business.101 [Exit, with Derric.

[pg 056]

Alice advances, and brings on Knickerbocker from the closet.

Alice.

So, Mr. Knickerbocker, you are still here.

Knickerbocker.

Yes, all that's left of me! and, now that the coast is clear, I'll give them leg bail, as the lawyers have it; and if ever they catch me here again—[He goes towards the door, and returns in sudden alarm.] Oh dear! oh dear! here's mother Van Winkle coming back. I shall never get out of this mess.

Alice.

It's all your own fault! Why would you come to-night!

Knickerbocker.

I shall never be able to come again—the cross vixen will take care of that if she catches me here.

Alice.

[There is but one method of avoiding her wrath:]102 slip on the clothes the old pedlar woman brought for sale, and I'll warrant you'll soon be tumbled out of the house.

Knickerbocker.

With a good thrashing to boot, I suppose. [No matter, if I can but slip out of the house, I don't care what I slip into.]103 [Knickerbocker sits in arm-chair, and is attired by Alice in a woman's dress: on rising, the petticoats but reach his knees.] Confound the lower garments! they're too short [by half.]104

Alice.

'Tis your legs are too long [by half!]105; stoop down; [say as little as possible, and you'll not be discovered.]106 [He again sits.

Dame enters.

Dame.

[Well, I've got back and I see Mr. Van Slaus is gone! but]107 where's that varlet, Rip; out again? Oh, that Rip! that Rip! I'll certainly be the death of him; or he will of me, which is most likely. Alice, who have you in the chair?

Alice.

The pedlar woman, aunt, who has come for the things she left.

Dame.

The pedlar woman—hark'ee gossip: bring no more of your rubbish here. Take yourself off, and let me have a clear house.

Knickerbocker.

[Aside.] 'Gad, I wish I was safely cleared out of it. [Knickerbocker rises, hobbles forward; but, forgetting the shortness of the petticoats, in curtseying, is discovered by the Dame, from the exposure of his legs.

[pg 057]
Dame.

Odds bodikins and pins! who have we here! an imposter! but you shall pay for it; this is a pedlar woman, indeed, with such lanky shanks. [She rushes up to door and, locks it—then, with a broom pursues him round; he flings bonnet in her face.

Knickerbocker.

Needs must, when the devil drives—so here goes.

He jumps through the window [which is dashed to pieces]108—and disappears.Dame rushes up, with broom, towards window.Alice laughs.

Dame.

What! laugh at his misconduct, hussey. One's just as bad as the other. All born to plague me. Get you to bed—to bed, I say. [Dame drives Alice off, and follows.

Footnotes

47.
speaking off, to the child, in K.
48.
Not in K.
49.
Not in K.
50.
Not in K. Instead, “he is so handsome, his figure is so elegant.”
51.
Not in K.
52.
Not in K.
53.
“mein” in K.
54.
“Ve'll” in K.
55.
“bate” in K.
56.
“broken” in K. Also add “by your knocks.”
57.
Not in K.
58.
“Tonner” in K.
59.
“tink” in K.
60.
“finish” in K.
61.
“crockery” in K.
62.
Not in K.
63.
Not in K.
64.
“der tyfil's” in K.
65.
“brivate” in K.
66.
“goot-hell” in K.
67.
“brosber” in K.
68.
“tink” in K.
69.
“entering” inserted, in K.
70.
“I vork” in K.
71.
“bit-and-bat” in K.
72.
“goot” in K.
73.
“bersbiration” in K.
74.
Not in K.
75.
“vild” and “tog” in K.
76.
Not in K.
77.
Not in K.
78.
Not in K.
79.
Not in K.
80.
“bardon” in K.
81.
Not in K.
82.
Not in K.
83.
“uncommon” in K.
84.
“him” in K.
85.
“Mynheer” in K.
86.
“boot” and “baber” in K.
87.
“freund” in K.
88.
In K. “S—ss cat! be quiet wid you!”.
89.
“Stob” and “vould” in K.
90.
“der tyfil” in K.
91.
In K. “S—s cat! you be quiet, or I will skin you as my vife skins me.”
92.
K. adds, “I will take care to get him so completely in my power that he shall not dare, however he might desire it, to avail himself of the power which that addition to the contract will give him.”
93.
In K., the line reads. “S—s cat! I vill cut off your tail.”
94.
“Schneider” in K.
95.
“dat ist” in K; also “Mynheer.”
96.
“baber” in K.
97.
“bocket” in K.
98.
“Mynheer” in K.
99.
Not in K.
100.
“bar-bar-tick-bartickler” in K.
101.
K. has also:
Alice. She wont believe it.
Rip. Tell her—I'll be stewed fun it's a fact.
102.
Not in K.
103.
In K, only “But, never mind.”
104.
Not in K.
105.
Not in K.
106.
Not in K.
107.
Not in K.
108.
Not in K.

Half dark.—A front wood.—The report of a gun is heard; shortly after, Rip enters, with his fowling piece.

Rip.

[Whip-poor-Will! egad, I think they'll whip poor Rip.]109—[ Takes aim at bird; it flashes in the pan.]—Another miss! Oh, curse the misses and the missusses! hang me if I can get a single shot at the sky-flyers. [Wish]110 I had one of de German guns which Knickerbocker talks so much about—one dat fires round111 corners: la! how I'd bring dem down! bring dem down! were I to wing as many daily as would fill a dearborn, Dame wouldn't be satisfied—not that she's avaricious—but den she must have something or somebody to snarl at, and I'm the unlucky dog at whom she always lets fly. Now, she got at me mit de broomstick so soon as I got back again; if I go home again, she will break my back. Tunner wasser! how sleepy I am—I can't go home, she will break my back—so I will sleep in de mountain to-night, and to-morrow I turn over a new leaf and drink no more liquor.112

Voice.

[Outside:] Rip Van Winkle.

A dead pause ensues.—Suddenly a noise like the rolling of cannonballs is heard—then a discordant shout of laughter.Rip wakes and sits up astonished.

[pg 058]
Rip.

What [the deuce]113 is that? [my wife] at mine elbow? Oh, no, nothing of the kind: I must have been dreaming; so I'll contrive to nap, since I'm far enough from her din. [Reclines and sleeps.114

Voice

[Outside.] Rip Van Winkle. [The laugh being repeated, Rip again awakes.115

Rip.

I can't be mistaken dis time. Plague on't, I've got among the spirits of the mountains, metinks, and haven't a drop of spirits left to keep them off.

Swaggrino.

116[Without.] Rip Van Winkle! Rip Van Winkle.

Rip.

Rip Van Winkle! that's me to a certainty.

Music.—[Swaggrino, the grotesque dwarf, enters],117 bending beneath the weight of a large cask which he bears on his shoulder.—He pauses, examines Rip, then invites him to assist him in placing the cask on the ground, which Rip complies with.

Rip.

Hang me, if he hasn't brought my heart up into my mouth: what an outlandish being, [a sea snake,]118 by dunder!

Music.—[Swaggrino,]119 pointing to the cask, [entreats] Rip's assistance in bearing it up the mountains.

Rip.

Want me to help you up mit it? Why not say so at first, my old codger? What a queer old chap, to be sure; but I can't let him toil up the mountain with such a heavy load as dat, no, no, and so, old [broad]120 chops, I'll help you.

Music.—[Dwarf]121 assists in placing cask on Rip's shoulder. A loud laugh is heard; Rip is alarmed, but [Dwarf] signs him to proceed and be of good courage—leads way up rocks. Another peal of laughter, and Rip hastily follows him.

Footnotes

109.
Not in K.
110.
“I vishes” in K. No attempt is being made to indicate small differences ofdialect.
111.
“der” inserted in K.
112.
In K., stage direction, “[Lies down.]”.
113.
“der debil” in K.; also “mein frau.”
114.
In K., the stage directions are: [Lies down to sleep.
115.
In K., the speech takes this form:
Voice. [Without.] Rip Van Winkle!
116.
No name in K., only Voice.
117.
In K., read. One of the Spectre Crew enters.
118.
Not in K.
119.
The Imp in K.; also “asks.”
120.
“pale” in K.
121.
Imp in K.

SCENE V.

Dark.—The Sleepy Hollow, in the bosom of the mountains, occupying the extreme extent of the stage—stunted trees, fragments of rock in various parts.—Moon in the horizon; [pg 059] the entrance to this wild recess being by an opening from the abyss in the rear of the glen.

Music.—Grotesque Dutch Figures with [enormous]122 masked heads and lofty tapering hats, discovered playing [at cards in various places—others at Dutch pins—battledores and shuttlecocks—the majority seated on a rock drinking and smoking.]123

Gauderkin.
Since on earth this only day,
In fifty years we're given to stray,
We'll keep it as a holiday!
So brothers, let's be jolly and gay.
Icken.
But question, where's that lazy [wight,]124
Who, soon as sun withdrew it's light,
Was for the earth's rich beverage sent,
And has such time in absence spent.
Gauderkin.
Perhaps [with some]125 misfortune he's been doomed to meet,
Cross'd, no doubt, on the road by mortal feet.
Icken.
And what the punishment that you decree
On him, who on our mysteries makes free?
Gauderkin.
Twenty years in slumber's chain,
Is the fate that we ordain:
Yet, if merry wight he prove,
Pleasing dreams his sleep shall move.
Icken.
Our brother comes, and up the rugged steep,
A mortal, see, Swaggrino's presence keep.
Omnes.
Twenty years in slumber's chain,
Is the fate that we ordain.
He comes! he comes! let silence reign!—
Let silence reign! let silence reign!

The Spirits retire up and station themselves in motionless attitudes.

Music.—[Swaggrino]126 ascends by the opening in the rear followed by Rip, with the keg.—Rip advances on the left, and, with the assistance of his conductor, places the cask on the rock.—

The Spirits remain immovable.

[pg 060]
Rip.

I'm a dead man, to a certainty. Into what strange company have I tumbled! crikey, what will become of me? Dear, dear! would I were home again, even though along with [Dame]127 Van Winkle.

Music.—The Figures severally advance, and stare at him, then resume their game. Swaggrino taps the cask; motions the astonished Rip to assist him in distributing its contents into various flagons; an injunction with which he complies.Swaggrino helps his companions.

Rip.

After all, they seem a harmless set, and there can be no argument with them, for they appear to be all dumbies.—[Lord were my wife]128 as silent. They're a deadly, lively, jolly set; but I wonder what kind of spirits dese spirits are [drinking!]129 Surely, dere can be no harm in taking a drop along mit dem.—[Fills a flagon.]—Here goes!—Gentlemen, here's your [go-to-hells,]130 and your [broad chopped]131 family's, and may you all live long and prosper. [Drinks.]

Omnes.

Ha, ha, ha!

Music.—A grotesque dance ensues, during which Rip continues to supply himself from the keg.—He at length joins in the dance, and becomes so exhausted, that he reels forward and sinks in front. The dancing ceases, the Spirits utter three "ho, ho, ho's!"—[Some of them sink.]132

END OF ACT I.

Footnotes

122.
Not in K.
123.
In K., reads, at Dutch pins—the majority seated on a rock drinking and smoking—thunder reverberates each time a bowl is delivered.”
124.
Ichen in K.; also “sprite.”
125.
Not in K.
126.
The Imp in K.
127.
“Frau” in K.
128.
In K., “if mein wife vere”
129.
“trinking” in K.
130.
“goot-hells” in K.
131.
Not in K. Instead, “Your family's goot-hells.”
132.
In K., the stage directions end, Moon very bright. Tableau.

The last of the First Act repeated; but the distance now presents a richly cultivated country.—The bramble is grown into a lofty tree, and all that remains of Rip's gun is its rusty barrel, which is at the foot of the tree.

Bird Music.Rip discovered extended on the ground, asleep; his hair grey, and beard grown to an unusual length.—The hour of [pg 061] the scene is gray dawn and birds from sky and hill are chirping.133

Rip.

[Speaking in his sleep.] Mother Van Winkle! [Dame]134 Van Winkle! what are you arter? Don't be always badgering; will you never allow poor Rip a moment's quiet? Curse it! don't throw de hot water about so, you'll scald one's eyes, and so you will, and no mistake; and so you have. [He awakens in sudden emotion.] Eh! by dunder! what's all dis,—where am I—in the name of goodness where am I? [Gazing around.] On the Catskill Mountains, by all that's miraculous! Egad! my rib will play the very devil with me for stopping out all night. There will be a fine peal sounded when I get home. [Rises.]135 How confoundedly stiff and sore my joints do feel; surely I must have been sleeping for a pretty long time! Asleep! [no;]136 I was awake and enjoying myself with as jolly a rum set of codgers as ever helped to toom out a keg of Hollands. I danced, and egad, drank with them, till I was pretty blue, and dat's no mistake;—but confound it, they shouldn't have caught me napping, for 'tis plain they have taken themselves off [like an unceremonious pack of—pack of—give an eye tooth to know who they were.137 [Looking around.] Where is my gun? I left it on a little bush. [On examining he finds the rusty barrel of his gun.] Hillo! [come up, here's a grab!]138 the unmannerly set of sharpers! stolen one of the best fowling-pieces that ever made a crack; and left this [worthless,]139 rusty barrel, by way of exchange! What will Dame Van Winkle say to this! [pg 062] By the hookey! but she'll comb my hair finely! Now, I went to sleep beneath that hickory;—'twas a mere bush. Can I be dreaming still? Is there any one who will be [good]140 enough to tell me whether it is so or not? Be blowed if I can make head or tail [o'nt.]141 One course only now remains,—to pluck up resolution, go back to Dame Van Winkle, and by dunder! she'll soon let me know whether I'm awake or not!142

[Music.—Exit.

Footnotes

133.
In K., the scene opens thus:

The Aerial Spirits in Tableau.Dance of the Spirits to the gleams of the rising sun.Tableau.

Spirit of the Mountain. [Speaks.]

Wake, sleeper, wake, rouse from thy slumbers.
The rosy cheeked dawn is beginning to break,
The dream-spell no longer thy spirit encumbers.
Gone is its power, then wake, sleeper, wake.
The Spirits of Night can no longer enchain thee,
The breeze of the morn now is striving to shake
Sweet dewdrops like gems from the copsewood and forest tree.
All nature is smiling, then wake, sleeper, wake.

Tableau.—They disappear as the clouds gradually pass away and a full burst of bright sunshine illumines the scene.]

134.
“Frau” in K.
135.
In K., stage direction reads,Rises with difficulty. All through this speech in K., the dialect is pronounced.
136.
“nein” in K.
137.
Not in K.
138.
In K., “donner unt blitzen.”
139.
Not in K.
140.
“goot” in K.
141.
In K., “of him.”
142.
In K., speech ends, [Moves painfully.] “My legs do seem as if they vould not come after me.”

SCENE II.143

A well-furnished apartment in the house of Knickerbocker.

[pg 063]

Lorrenna, now a woman, enters.

Lorrenna.

Alas, what a fate is mine! Left an orphan at an early age,—a relation's bounty made me rich, but, to-day, this fatal day—poverty again awaits me unless I bestow my hand without my heart! Oh, my poor father! little did you know the misery you have entailed upon your child.

Knickerbocker and Alice enter, arm in arm. They are much more corpulent than when seen in Act I and dressed in modern attire,—Alice in the extreme of former fashion.

Knickerbocker.

Decided that cause in the most judgematical like manner. White wasn't black. Saw that in a twinkling; no one disputed my argument. [Speaking as entering.] Come along, spouse! Lauks! how you do waddle up and down, side to side, like one of our butter-laden luggers in a squall, as the Dutchmen have it. Ah, Lorrenna, you here? but you appear more depressed than customary. Those saddened looks are by no means pleasing to those who would ever wish to see you cheerful. What the dickens prevents your being otherwise when all around are so anxious for your happiness!

Lorrenna.

Truly, am I beholden for your protection and ever grateful. But to place a smile on the brow whilst sorrow lingers in the bosom is a deceptive penance to the wearer—painful to those around who mark and must perceive the vizard; to say that I am happy would be inconsistent with truth. The persecutions of Herman Van Slaus—

[pg 064]
Alice.

Ah! my dear Lorrenna, many a restless night have I had on that varlet's account, as spouse knows.

Knickerbocker.

That's as true as there's ghosts in the Catskills, as Dutchmen have it; for be darned if a single night passes that Alice suffers me to go to sleep peaceably.

Alice.

Well, well; cheer thee, my niece; there is bounteous intelligence in store; nor think there is any idle fiction in this brain, as our divine poets picture.

Knickerbocker.

There, there, Alice is getting into her romance again,—plain as my fist—she has been moonified ever since she became a subscriber for books at the new library! Planet struck, by gum, as philosophers have it, and—

Alice.

And you have said so little to the purpose, that I must now interpose. My dear Lorrenna—Gustaffe—'tis your aunt who speaks—

Knickerbocker.

There, now, pops in her word before a magistrate.

Lorrenna.

My Gustaffe! ha! say!—

Knickerbocker.

Would have told you in a brace of shakes, as gamblers have it, if she hadn't thrown the dice first. Yes, my pretty chicky—Gustaffe's vessel is now making up the Hudson; so, cheer thee! cheer thee, I say! your lover is not far off.

Lorrenna.

Gustaffe so near? blessed intelligence! Oh, the happiest wishes of my heart are gratified! But are you certain? Do not raise my hopes without cause. Are you quite certain? speak, dear aunt; are you indeed assured, Gustaffe's vessel has arrived?

Knickerbocker.

Didn't think fit to break the news too suddenly, but you have it.

Alice.

“The ship with wide-expanded canvas glides along and soon”—I forget the remainder of the quotation; but 'tis in the delectable work, “Robinson Crusoe”—soon will you hear him hail. [A knock is heard.] My stars foretell that this is either him—

Knickerbocker.

Or somebody else, as I suppose.

Enter Sophia.

Sophia.

Oh, sir; Squire Knickerbocker, Herman, son of the late Derric Van Slaus, is in the hall.

Alice.

That's not the him whom I expected, at all events.

[pg 065]
Knickerbocker.

Son of the individual whom I succeeded as burgomaster? Talk of the devil—now, I don't know how it is, but I'm always squalmish when in company of these lawyers that's of his cast. Qui Tam.

Sophia.

He wishes to be introduced. What is your pleasure?

Knickerbocker.

Let him be so, by all means. An honest man needn't fear the devil. [Exit Sophia.

Lorrenna.

Excuse my presence, uncle. To hear him repeat his claims, would but afflict a heart already agonized: and with your leave, I will withdraw. [Exit.

Knickerbocker.

Aye, aye; let me alone to manage him, as a barrister says to his client when he cross-questions a witness. See Miss Lorrenna to her chamber, Mrs. Knickerbocker. This Herman is a d——d rogue, as the English have it; and he'll go to the dominions below, as the devil will have it, and as I have had it for the last twenty years.

Alice.

And I tell you, to your comfort, if you don't send the varlet quick off with a flea in his ear, you shall have it. Yes, Squire Knickerbocker, you shall have it, be assured. So says Mrs. Knickerbocker, you shall have it. [Exit.

Knickerbocker.

Truly, I've had plenty of it from you for the last eighteen years.

Enter Herman.

Herman.

Sir, I wait upon you once more. The period is now expired when my just claim, which you have so long protracted, can be vainly disputed. A vain and idle dispute of justice.

Knickerbocker.

Precious fine, indeed, sir,—but, my ward has a mighty strong reluctance to part with her fortune, and much more so to make you her partner for life. You are not exactly to her liking, nor to her in the world's generally.

Herman.

One or the other she is compelled to. You are aware, sir, that the law is on my side! the law, sir—the law, sir!

Knickerbocker.

Oh, yes! And, no doubt, every quibble that it offers will be twisted to the best purpose for your interest. You're a dabster at chicane, or you're preciously belied.

Herman.

You will not, I presume, dispute the signature of the individual who formed the contract?

Knickerbocker.

Oh, no! not dispute Rip's signature, but his error in judgement. I happened to be a cabinet councillor [pg 066] at the very moment my deceased relative, who was non compos mentis, at the time, clapped his pen to a writing, artfully extracted from him by your defunct father, whose memory is better forgotten than remembered.

Herman.

Sir, I came here, not to meet insult; I came hither, persuaded you would acknowledge my right, and to prevent a publicity that may be painful to both parties. You are inclined to dispute them; before a tribunal shall they be arbitrated; and, knowing my claims, Mr. Knickerbocker, know well that Lorrenna or her fortune must be mine. [Exit.

Knickerbocker.

You go to Davy Jones, as the seamen have it. Lorrenna shall never be yours, and if ever she wants a cent whilst I have one, my name isn't Knickerbocker;—damme, as the dandies have it.

Lorrenna enters, with Alice.

Lorrenna.

My dear guardian, you have got rid of Herman, I perceive.

Knickerbocker.

I wish I had, with all my soul; but he sticks to his rascally undertaking like a crab to its shell; egad, there will be no dislodging him unless he's clapped into a cauldron of boiling water, as fishmongers have it.

Alice.

And boiled to rags. But, husband! husband, I say!

Knickerbocker.

Mr. Knickerbocker, my dear, if you please.

Alice.

Well, then, Mr. Knickerbocker, my dear, if you please, we have been looking out at the window to ascertain who came and went, and have discovered a fine, handsome fellow galloping towards the town, and I shouldn't at all wonder if it wasn't—

Gustaffe rushes in.

Lorrenna.

[Hurries to him.] My dear, dear Gustaffe!

Gustaffe.

[Embracing her.] My tender, charming Lorrenna!

Knickerbocker.

Why, Gustaffe! Bless us! why, how the spark has grown.

Alice.

Not quite so corpulent as you, spouse.

Knickerbocker.

Spouse! Mr. Knickerbocker, if you please. Truly, wife, we have both increased somewhat in corporal, as well as temporal substance, since Gustaffe went to sea. But you know, Alice—

[pg 067]
Alice.

Mrs. Knickerbocker, if you please.

Knickerbocker.

Well, Mrs. Knickerbocker—

Gustaffe.

Why, Knickerbocker, you have thriven well of late.

Knickerbocker.

I belong to the corporation, and we must support our corporation as well as it. But not a word about the pig, as the butchers have it, when you were a little boy, and Alice courting me.

Alice.

I court you, sirrah? what mean you?

Knickerbocker.

Sirrah! Mr. Knickerbocker, if you please. Why, then, deary—we didn't like anyone to intrude on our society; do you take the hint? as the gamblers have it. Come along, Alice—Mrs. Knickerbocker, I would say—let us leave the lovers to themselves.

Alice.

Again they meet, and sweet's the love that meets return.

Exeunt Knickerbocker and Alice, singing in concert, “Again they meet.”

Gustaffe.

My dear Lorrenna, why this dejected look?—It is your own Gustaffe enfolds you in his arms.

Lorrenna.

Alas! I am no longer worthy of your love,—your friendship. A fatal bond extracted from my lamented father has severed us forever—I am devoid of fortune.

Gustaffe.

Lorrenna, you have been the star that has guided my bark,—thee, my compass—my north pole,—and when the magnet refuses its aid to the seaman, then will he believe that you have foundered in affection, or think that I would prove faithless from the loss of earthly pittance.

Lorrenna.

Shoals,—to speak in your nautical language—have long, on every side, surrounded me; but, by my kind uncle's advice, must we be guided. [Exit.

Footnotes

143.
Scene II, in K., reads as follows:

Scene Second.Chamber.

Enter Nicholas Vedder and Dame Vedder (formerly Dame van Winkle).

Dame. 'Tis very hard for the poor girl.
Vedder. Yes; but 'tis your fault. You shouldn't have had a fool and a sot for your first husband.
Dame. [Aside.] And I didn't ought to have had a bear for my second.
Vedder. What did you say?
Dame. Nothing—nothing.
Vedder. Well, don't say it again. Because Lowena will have to be the wife of Herman Van Slaus, that's settled!
Dame. But he's a most disreputable man, and my poor child detests him.
Vedder. Well, she won't be the first wife that has detested her husband.
Dame. No; I should think not, indeed.
Vedder. You should think not! What do you mean by that?
Dame. Nothing!
Vedder. Well, don't mean it again. What, do you suppose that I'll suffer my daughter-in-law to sacrifice her fortune—a fortune of which we shall have our share?—Herman has promised that.
Dame. Herman will promise anything; and you know that my poor girl is doatingly fond of young Gustaffe.
Vedder. Well, I can't help that; but I am not going to allow her to make a beggar of herself and us too, for any nonsense about the man of her heart.
Dame. Hers will break if she is compelled to—
Vedder. Nonsense—a woman's heart is about the toughest object in creation.
Dame. You have given me plenty of proof that you think so.
Vedder. What do you intend to imply by that?
Dame. Nothing!
Vedder. Well, don't imply it again—don't, because—

Enter Knickerbocker and Alice, arm-in-arm—both grown stout.

Knickerbocker. Halloa! what's going on—a matrimonial tiff? My wife has just been giving me a few words, because I told her that she waddles up and down, and rolls about like one of our butter-laden luggers in a squall, as the Dutchmen have it.
Alice. You have no occasion to talk, Mr. Knickerbocker, for, I am sure, your corporation—
Knickerbocker. Yes, I belong to the town corporation, and to look respectable, am obliged to have one of my own. Master Vedder, a word with you. [Talks aside with him.
Alice. [Going to Dame.] You wish now, that my poor brother Rip hadn't died, don't you?
Dame. [Sighing.] But I thought Nicholas Vedder would have been just as easy to manage: he was as mild as a dove before our marriage.
Alice. You ought to have known that to be allowed to wear the inexpressibles by two husbands was more than the most deserving of our sex had any right to expect.
Dame. Oh, dear me! I never thought that I should live to be any man's slave.
Alice. Ah, we never know what we may come to! but your fate will be a warning and example for me, if Mr. Knickerbocker should take it into his head to leave me a widow.
Vedder. Mrs. Vedder, what are you whispering about there?
Dame. Nothing!
Vedder. Well, don't whisper it any more.
Alice. [Aside, to Dame.] Come along with me.
Vedder. Mrs. Vedder, take yourself out of the room.
Alice. Mr. Knickerbocker, I shall expect you to follow me immediately.

[Exeunt Alice and Dame.

Knickerbocker. And this is the last day of the term fixed on by the agreement!
Vedder. Yes; and Herman is resolute, and so am I.
Knickerbocker. I am sorry for poor Lowena.
Vedder. She shouldn't have had a fool for a father.
Knickerbocker. It was unfortunate, but I can't exactly see that it was her fault. [Exeunt.

The Town of Rip's nativity, instead of the Village as presented in first scene of the drama.—It is now a populous and flourishing settlement.—On the spot where Rory's tap-house formerly stood, is a handsome hotel, and the sign of “George III” is altered into that of “George Washington.” A settee in front, with table.—The harbour is filled with shipping.—Music at the opening of the scene.

Seth

[Slough,]144 the landlord, enters from the Hotel.—Loud shouts.

[pg 068]
Seth.

Well, I reckon the election's about bustin' up. If that temperance feller gets in I'm bound to sell out; for a rum-seller will stand no more chance with him than a bob-tail cow in fly time.—[Laugh.]—Hollo! who is this outlandish critter? he looks as if he had been dead for fifty years and was dug up to vote against the temperance ticket.—

Music.—Enter Male and Female Villagers, laughing.145—Enter Rip,—they gather round him.

Rip.

Where I was I wonder? my neiber frints, “knost you ty spricken?”146

Villagers.

Ha, ha, ha!

1st Villager.

I say, old feller, you ain't seed nothing of no old butter firkin with no kiver on, no place about here?

Rip.

No butter firkin mit no kiver no place, no I ain't seen him.

Villagers.

Ha, ha, ha!

1st Villager.

Who's your barber?—[Strokes his chin.—All laugh and exeunt.

Rip.

I can't understand dis: everything seems changed.—[Strokes his chin.]—Why, I'm changed too; why, my beard's as long as a goat's.

Seth.

[Coming down.] Look here, old sucker, I guess you had better go home and get shaved.

Rip.

My old woman will shave me when I gets home! Home, where is my home? I went to the place where it used to was, and it wasn't dere. Do you live in Catskill?

Seth.

Well, I rather guess I dus—

Rip.

Do you know where I live?

Seth.

Well, to look at you, I should think you didn't live nowhere in particular, but stayed round in spots.

Rip.

You live in Catskill?

Seth.

Certain.

Rip.

You don't know dat I belong here?

Seth.

No, I'm darned if I do. I should say you belonged to Noah's ark—-

Rip.

Did you never hear in Catskill of one Rip Van Winkle?

Seth.

What, Rip Van Winkle, the greatest rum-sucker in the country?

[pg 069]
Rip.

Dat is a fact—dat is him! ha! ha! now we shall see.

Seth.

Oh, yes, I've heard of him; the old coon's been dead these twenty years.

Rip.

Den I am dead and dat is a fact. Well, poor Rip is dead. I'm sorry for dat.—Rip was a goot fellow.

Seth.

I wish there was a whole grist just like him in Catskill. Why, they say he could drink rum enough in one day to swim in.

Rip.

Don't talk so much about rum; you makes me so dry as never was.

Seth.

Hold on a spell then, and I'll fetch you something to wet your whistle. [Exit into house.

Rip.

Why, here is another change! dis was Rory's house last night, [Seth re-enters.] mit de sign of George the Third.

Seth.

[The alteration of my sign is no bad sign for the country, I reckon.]147

Rip.

[Reading.] “George Washington,”—who is he? [I remember a shoot of dat name, dat served under Braddock, before I went to sleep.

Seth.

[Giving him jug.] Well, if you've been asleep I guess he ar'n't: his enemies always found him wide awake and kicking; and that shoot, as you call him, has planted the tree of liberty so everlasting tight in Yankeeland, that all the kingdoms of the earth can't root it out.]148

Rip.

Well, here is General Washington's goot health, and his family's goot health, ant may dey all live long ant prosper. So poor Rip Van Winkle is dead, eh? [Now comes de poser;]149 if Rip is dead, [what has become of his old woman?]150

Seth.

She busted a blood-vessel swearing at a Yankee pedlar, and has gone to kingdom come long ago.

Rip.

De old woman dead too? den her clapper is stopped at last. [Pause.] So de old woman is dead; well, she led me a hard [pg 070] life—she was de wife of my bosom, she was mine frow for all dat. [Whimpering.] I'm dead too, unt dat is a fact. Tell me my frient—

Seth.

I can't stop any longer—the polls are almost closing, and I must spread the game for the boys. Hurrah, for rum drinking and cheap licence for the retailers! that's my ticket. [Re-enter Villagers, shouting.]151 Here, boys, see what you can make of this old critter.—I give him up for the awfulest specimen of human nature in the States. [Exit into house.

2d Villager.

Are you a Federal or a Democrat?

Rip.

Fiddle who? damn who's cat?

2d Villager.

What's your politics?

Rip.

Oh, I am on de safe side dere; I am a faithful subject of King George!

2d Villager.

He's a Tory! Kill him! Duck him!

Villagers.

[To the horse pond! Duck him.]152

Music.—They seize Rip and are about hurrying him off when Gustaffe rushes in and throws them off.153

Gustaffe.

Stand back, [cowards.]154

[pg 072]
Omnes.

Cowards!

Gustaffe.

Yes, cowards! who but cowards would rush in numbers one grey-haired man?

Rip.

Yah, yah, dat's a fact!

Gustaffe.

Sheer off! you won't? then damme, here's at ye. [Drives them off.] Tell me, old man, what cause had you given them to attack you?

Rip.

I don't know; do you?

Gustaffe.

You appear bewildered: can I assist you?

Rip.

Just tell me where I live, dat's all I want to know.

Gustaffe.

And don't you know?

Rip.

I'm d——d fun I does.

Gustaffe.

What is your name?

Rip.

Why, I was Rip Van Winkle.

Gustaffe.

Rip Van Winkle? impossible!

Rip.

Well, I won't swear to it myself.

Gustaffe.

Stay,—you have a daughter?

Rip.

To be sure I has: a pretty little girl about so old—Lorrenna; and I have a son too, a lublicka boy, but my daughter is a girl.

[pg 073]
Gustaffe.

Do you remember entering into a contract, binding your daughter to marry Herman Van Slaus?

Rip.

Oh! I remember, de burgomaster came to my house last night mit a paper, and I wrote my name down on it, but I was drunk.

Gustaffe.

Last night! His brain wanders: yet it must be he; come, come with me, old man.

Rip.

Where are you going to take me to?

Gustaffe.

Your daughter.

Rip.

Yes, yes, take me to my child. Stop, my gracious!—I am so changed,—suppose she should forget me too; no, no, she can't forget her poor father. Come, come! [Exeunt.

Footnotes

144.
In K., “Kilderkin.”
145.
In K., and pointing at Rip, who comes on.”
146.
In K., “Vhere I was I wonder? my kneiber freunds, sprechen sie deutsch?”
147.
Not in K.
148.
Not in K. After “who is he,” read, “I do not know him, but—” and continue with next Rip speech.
149.
“But, now, I'm going to ask a ticklish question” in K. This speech is in dialect in K.
150.
In K., “is his old voman dead too?”
Seth. No. She's alive and kicking.
Rip. Kicking—yes, she always vas dat.
Seth. And she's married agin.
Rip. She's done what agin?
Seth. She's got a second husband.
Rip. Second husband!—I pities the poor creetur. But there vas—vill you tell me, my friend—
Seth. I can't stop any longer, because—
151.
In K., the stage directions are, Villagers hurry on, shouting.
152.
In K., read, “Duck him—duck him.”
153.
In K., read, Music. All are rushing on Rip.Gustave enters.
154.
In K., read, are you not ashamed—a score of you to attack a single man?
Rip. [Aside.] Yes. I am a single man—now my vife is marry agin; dat is a fact!
From this point, the two plays differ so that what remains in Kerr is here reproduced.
Gustave. And a poor old, gray-haired man.
Rip. Yes, I am poor, dat is a fact; but I know I'm not old, and I can't be gray-haired.
Gustave. Take yourselves off! What cause had you given them to attack you?
Villagers sneak off.
Rip. I don't know—do you?
Gustave. [Smiling.] How should I—
Rip. I say—vhere do I live?
Gustave. Don't you know?
Rip. I'm stewed fun I does. But, young man, you seems to know somezing, so, perhaps you knows Rip Van Winkle?
Gustave. Young Rip Van Winkle—I should think I do.
Rip. [Aside.] Here is von vhat knows me! dat is goot!
Gustave. I only wish his father hadn't gone away and died, twenty years ago.
Rip. [Aside.] His fader! Ah! he means my young Rip, and I'm dead myself arter all—dat is a fact.
Gustave. Poor old Rip Van Winkle—perhaps you know his daughter?
Rip. His daughter—yes, I tink I—and she is not dead, like her fader?
Gustave. No, thank heaven! and she would have been my wife before this but for—
Rip. But for what, young man?
Enter Lowena.
Lowena. Gustave. [Moving to him.
Gustave. Ah! dear Lowena!
Rip. Lowena! Ah! dat is my daughter—and I have a son too, a lublicka boy; but my daughter is a girl, and I always lub my leetle girl so much, ven she vas only so big—and I must not hug her now to my poor heart, because she—she has got another fader—and I am dead—yes, dey all tell me dat is a fact! I am dead to meinself and—and I am dead to my leetle girl.
Lowena. Oh, yes, Gustave, it is indeed a sad misfortune for us both, that my father should have entered into a contract which had for its object to coerce me into becoming the wife of Herman Van Slaus.
Rip. [Aside.] Yes, dat is a fact. I remember, de burgomaster come to my house last night mit a paper, and I wrote my name down on it; but I vas trunk.
Gustave. And having loved you so long, is it now impossible that you can become my wife?
Lowena. No, not impossible; but—oh, my poor dear father, if you had but survived to see this day!
Rip. [Aside.] I wish what I had—but I am dead, dat is a fact.
Enter Herman Van Slaus.
Lowena. Oh, Gustave! see, protect me from that wicked man—I will be thine, and only thine!
Herman. No, Lowena; you will be mine, for you will not be suffered to resign into my hands that fortune of which I covet the possession, but which would lose half its value to me if you come not with it.
Rip. [Aside.] Dat is young Slaus; and he is as big a tam rascal as vas his resbectable fader.
Herman. Hereafter, Lowena, I will cause you to repent that you have given a rival to the man to whom, from your very childhood, you have been pledged and bound.
Rip. Herman Van Slaus, you are bledged to old Nick, and vill never be redeemed.
Herman. Who is this miserable old wretch?
Gustave. I would kill you sooner than you should become the husband of my heart's adored.
Enter Knickerbocker and Alice.
Knickerbocker. So, there you are, Master Herman, sticking to your rascally work like a crab to its shell, as fishmongers have it.
Alice. I should like to throw him into a saucepan of boiling water till he was done to rags.
Rip. [Aside.] Dat is my sister Alice—and dat is Knickerbocker—how fat they both is got since last night! What great big suppers they must have eat!
Enter Nicholas Vedder and Dame Vedder.
Dame. Oh, do try if you cannot save my poor girl!
Rip. [Aside.] Tonner unt blitzen! dat is mein frau! [Retreating.] No, no! I forget—she not is mine frau now! [Chuckles.
Dame. Let him take half the fortune and—
Vedder. What is that you observe?
Dame. Nothing—nothing!
Vedder. Then don't observe it any more.
Dame. I—I only—
Vedder. [Shouting.] Silence!
Rip. [Aside.] Dat is goot! [Laughing.] Mine frau have caught a Tartar. De second one make her pay for de virst. Ha, ha, ha! I'm stewed fun dat is a fact!
Herman. Nicholas Von Vedder, say—[Producing paper.]—is this contract to be fulfilled?
Vedder. Certainly. Lowena, the time for trifling is past; you have delayed until the very last hour, and must now at once consent to become Herman's wife.
Lowena. Never! Welcome poverty, if I may be wealthy only with that man for my husband. Whatever privations I may be made to endure, I shall not repine; for he whom I love will share them with me.
Rip. [Aside.] Dat is mine own girl, I vill swear to dat.
Gustave. I am poor, Lowena, but my love will give me courage to toil manfully, and heaven will smile upon my efforts and enable me to replace that fortune which, for my sake, you so readily sacrifice.
Herman. Well, be it as you will. This document gives me a claim which may not be evaded. [Reads.] “We, Deidrich Van Slous, Burgomaster, and Rip Van Winkle, desirous of providing for the prosperity of our offspring, do hereby mutually agree that Herman Van Slous, and Lowena Van Winkle, shall be united on the demand of either. Whosoever of those contracted fails in fulfilling the agreement shall forfeit their fortune to the party complaining.—Rip Van Winkle—Deidrich Van Slous.”
Rip. [Aside.] Yes, dat is a fact—I remember dat baber, and I've got him somevheres. [Feels in his pockets.
Vedder. Lowena, I command that you consent to become Herman's wife—I will not suffer that your fortune be sacrificed to—
Herman. And here is the now useless codicil.
Rip. [Advancing, paper in hand.] Let me read it. [All turn amazedly towards him.] “Should the said Rip Van Winkle tink fit to annul dis contract vithin twenty years and a day, he shall be at full liberty to do so.”
Herman. How came you by that document?
Rip. You see I've got it, and dat is a fact.
Herman. Who gave it to you?
Rip. Your old blackguard of a fader.
Dame. Oh, you are—you are—
Rip. Yes, I am—I am Rip Van Winkle! [All start.Dame, with a loud scream, falls into Knickerbocker's arms.] Dere! for de first time in my life, I have doubled up my old woman!
Knickerbocker carries off Dame.
Lowena. Oh, it is my father—my dear, dear father! [Runs into his arms.
Rip. Yes, and you are mein taughter, my darling dat I always was love so! Oh, bless your heart, how you have grown since last night as you was a little girl.
Alice. [Embracing him.] Oh, my poor dear brother.
Rip. Yes, I tink I am your broder 'cos you is my sister.
Knickerbocker returns.
Alice. And here is my husband.
Rip. He is a much deal uglier, dan he used to vas before.
Knickerbocker. [Embracing him.] My blessed brother-in-law.
Vedder. Ah! and now you have come back, I suppose you want your wife!
Rip. No, I'll be tam if I do! You've got her, and you keep her—I von't never have her no more.
Vedder. I sha'n't have her—I have done with her, and glad to be rid of her. [Exit.
Rip. Ha, ha! Then my poor frau is a vidder, with two husbands, an' she ain't got none at all.
Herman. It is Rip Van Winkle, and alive!
Rip. Yes, and to the best of my belief, I have not never been dead at all.
Herman. And I am left to poverty and despair. [Exit.
Rip. And serve you right too—I'm stewed fun dat is fact. [Looking round.] But I had a leetle boy, last night—vhere is my young baby boy, my leetle Rip?
Alice. I saw him just now—oh, here he is.
Enter, young Rip Van Winkle, a very tall young man.
Rip. Is dat my leetle baby boy? How he is grown since last night. Come here, you young Rip. I am your fader. Vell, he is much like me—he is a beautiful leetle boy.
Knickerbocker. But tell us, Rip, where have you hid yourself for the last twenty years?
Rip. Ech woll! ech woll! Vhen I take mine glass, I vill tell mine strange story, and drink the health of mine friends—and, ladies and gentlemen, I will drink to your good hells and your future families, and may you all—and may Rip Van Winkle too—live long and brosber.
Curtain.

Knickerbocker's House as before.

Knickerbocker, Alice and Lorrenna enter.

Knickerbocker.

Give me joy, dears; I'm elected unanimously—elected a member of the Legislature.

Alice.

Why, spouse!

Knickerbocker.

Mr. Knickerbocker, if you please, my dear; damme! I'm so happy I could fly to the moon, jump over a steeple, dance a new fandango on stilts. [Dances.] Fal, lal, la.

Enter Herman.

Knickerbocker.

Well, sir, what the devil do you want?

Herman.

I came to claim this lady's fortune or her hand.

[pg 074]
Alice.

Knock him down, spouse.

Knickerbocker.

Mr. Knickerbocker, my dear.

Alice.

Oh, bother! I know if he comes near my niece, woman as I am, I'll scratch his eyes out.

Herman.

Mr. Knickerbocker.

Knickerbocker.

The honourable member from —— County, if you please.

Herman.

The judge of the district will this day arrive and give judgement on my appeal: my rights are definitive, and I question the whole world to controvert them. We shall meet before the tribunal; then presume to contend longer if you dare. [Exit.

Knickerbocker.

'Twill be difficult, no doubt, but we'll have a wrangle for the bone, as the dog's have it; there will be no curs found in our party, I'll be sworn. [Aside.] Hang me, but I'm really a little chop fallen and there is a strange sense of dizziness in my head which almost overcomes me.

Lorrenna.

My dear uncle, what is to be done in this emergency?

Knickerbocker.

Done! your fortune is done for: but if you ever want a cent whilst I have one, may I be sent to the devil, that's all.

Gustaffe.

[Entering.] Bravo! Nunkey Knickerbocker! you are no blind pilot. Awake to breakers and quicksand, Knickerbocker.

Knickerbocker.

Knickerbocker! the honourable Mr. Knickerbocker, if you please; I'm now a member of the Legislature and, curse me, if I'd change my dignified station as representative of an independent people, for that of the proudest potentate who holds supremacy by corruption or the bayonet. [Exeunt.

SCENE LAST.

The Court House.—An arm-chair at the back, in front of which is a large table, covered with baize.—On each side a gallery.—On the right of table are chairs.

Music.—The Judge discovered, seated.—The galleries filled with auditors.—Herman.Knickerbocker.

Judge.

Mr. Knickerbocker, you will please to bring your client into court.

Knickerbocker goes off, and returns with Lorrenna and Alice.

[pg 075]
Judge.

Be pleased to let your ladies take seats. [Lorrenna and Alice sit.

Herman.

And now, sir, I presume 'tis time to enter on my cause. Twenty years have elapsed since this contract, this bond was signed by the father of that lady, by which she or her fortune were made mine. Be pleased to peruse. [Presenting the document to the Judge.

Judge.

[Reading.] “We, Derric Van Slaus, Burgomaster, and Rip Van Winkle, desirous of providing for the prosperity of our offspring, do hereby mutually agree that Herman Van Slaus and Lorrenna Van Winkle shall be united on the demand of either. Whosoever of those contracted, fails in fulfilling this agreement, shall forfeit their fortune to the party complaining.

“Rip Van Winkle”
“Derric Van Slaus.”

But here's a codicil. “Should the said Rip Van Winkle think fit to annul this contract within twenty years and a day, he shall be at full liberty to do so. (Signed) Derric Van Slaus.” The document is perfect in every form. Rip Van Winkle, 'tis stated, is defunct. Is there any one present to prove his signature?

Herman.

Mr. Knickerbocker, if he dare be honest, will attest it.

Knickerbocker.

Dare be honest, sir! presume you to question my veracity? How was that bond obtained?

Herman.

Why should you ask? The late Rip Van Winkle, anxious for the prosperity of his offspring, though too indolent to provide for their subsistence, persuaded my deceased father to form this alliance.

Knickerbocker.

It's a lie! Hum!—

Judge.

Restrain this violence! a court of justice must not be swayed by such proceedings.

Herman.

Behold! sir, a picture of their general effrontery. In a public tribunal to threaten those, who, in pleading their own rights, but advocate the cause of justice.

Lorrenna.

[Comes down stage.] All my hopes vanish—bleak and dreary is the perspective.

Herman.

[Advances.] At last I triumph! Now, lady, your hand or your inheritance.

Lorrenna.

My hand! never! Welcome were every privation to an union with one so base.

[pg 076]
Judge.

It appears, then, that this signature is not denied by the defendant, and in that case the contract must stand in full force against her.

Lorrenna.

Oh, Alice, take me home: poverty, death, anything rather than wed the man I cannot love. [She is led off by Alice.

Knickerbocker.

Why, damn it, Judge!

Judge.

Mr. Knickerbocker!

Knickerbocker.

I beg pardon, I meant no disrespect to the court, but I had thought after—

Judge.

I have decided, Mr. Knickerbocker.

Knickerbocker.

Oh! you have decided. Yes, and a damned pretty mess you've made of it. But I sha'n't abide by your decision; I'll appeal to a higher court. I am now a member of the Legislature, and if they allow such blocks as you on the bench, I'll have a tax upon timber, sir—yes, sir, a tax upon timber. [Exit, in a rage.

Judge.

Twenty years and a day is the period within which the contract could be cancelled by the negature of Rip Van Winkle, and as he has rendered no opposition during this lengthened time—

Herman.

'Tis not very probable, sir, that he will alter his intentions by appearing to do so within the few brief hours that will complete the day. Can the grave give up its inmates? No, no! Who dare pretend to dispute my rights? The only one who could do so has been dead these twenty years.

Enter Gustaffe and Rip.

Gustaffe.

'Tis false! Rip Van Winkle stands before you!

Omnes.

Rip Van Winkle!

Herman.

You, Rip Van Winkle! Van Winkle come back after such a lapse of time? Impossible!

Rip.

Nothing at all impossible in anything Rip Van Winkle undertakes, and, though all of you are in the same story, dat he has been gone so long, he is nevertheless back soon enough, to your sorrow, my chap.

Herman.

If this, indeed, be Rip Van Winkle, where has he hid himself for twenty years?

Judge.

What answer do you make to this?

Rip.

Why, dat I went up in de mountains last night, and got drunk mit some jolly dogs, and when I come back dis morning I found myself dead for twenty years.

[pg 077]
Herman.

You hear him, sir.

Judge.

This is evidently an impostor; take him into custody.

Gustaffe.

Stay! delay your judgement one moment till I bring the best of proofs—his child and sister. [Exit.

Herman.

If you are Rip Van Winkle, some one here would surely recognize you.

Rip.

To be sure dey will! every one knows me in Catskill. [All gather round him and shake their heads.] No, no, I don't know dese peoples—dey don't know me neither, and yesterday dere was not a dog in the village but would have wagged his tail at me; now dey bark. Dere's not a child but would have scrambled on my knees—now dey run from me. Are we so soon forgotten when we're gone? Already dere is no one wot knows poor Rip Van Winkle.

Herman.

So, indeed, it seems.

Rip.

And have you forgot de time I saved your life?

Herman.

Why, I—I—I—

Rip.

In course you have! a short memory is convenient for you, Herman.

Herman.

[Aside] Should this indeed be he! [Aloud.] I demand judgement.

Judge.

Stay! If you be Rip Van Winkle you should have a counterpart of this agreement. Have you such a paper?

Rip.

Paper! I don't know; de burgomaster gave me a paper last night. I put it in my breast, but I must have loosed him. No, no—here he is! here is de paper! [Gives it to Judge, who reads it.

Judge.

'Tis Rip Van Winkle! [All gather round and shake hands with him.

Rip.

Oh! everybody knows me now!

Herman.

Rip Van Winkle alive! then I am dead to fortune and to fame; the fiends have marred my brightest prospects, and nought is left but poverty and despair. [Exit.

Gustaffe.

[Without.] Room there! who will keep a child from a long lost father's arms?

Enter Gustaffe, with Lorrenna, Alice and Knickerbocker.

Lorrenna.

My father! [Embraces Rip.

Rip.

Are you mine daughter? let's look at you. Oh, my child—but how you have grown since you was a little gal. But who is dis?

[pg 078]
Alice.

Why, brother!—

Rip.

Alice! give us a hug. Who is dat?

Alice.

Why, my husband—Knickerbocker.

Rip.

Why Knick, [Shakes hands.] Alice has grown as big round as a tub; she hasn't been living on pumpkins. But where is young Rip, my baby?

Knickerbocker.

Oh, he was in the court-house just now. Ah! here he comes!

Enter Rip Van Winkle, Jr.

Rip.

Is dat my baby? come here, Rip, come here, you dog; I am your father. What an interesting brat it is.

Knickerbocker.

But tell us, Rip, where have you hid yourself for the last twenty years?

Rip.

Ech woll—ech woll. I will take mine glass and tell mine strange story and drink the health of mine frients. Unt, ladies and gents, here is your goot health and your future families and may you all live long and prosper.

THE END.

On page 43, Rory speaking:

though, for its full of emptiness.—Ha, ha, ha!
though, for it's full of emptiness.—Ha, ha, ha!

In the long footnote on page 62, Dame speaking:

Her's will break if she is compelled to—
Hers will break if she is compelled to—

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