  There was a Maid the other Day, Which in her Master’s Chamber lay; As Maidens they must not refuse, In Yeomens Houses thus they use In a Truckle-bed to lye, Or another standing by: Her Master and her Dame, Said she shou’d do the same. This Maid cou’d neither rest nor Sleep, When that she heard the Bed to crack; Her Master Captive busie was, Her Dame cry’d out, you hurt my Back: Oh Husband you do me wrong, You’ve lain so hard my Breast upon; You are such another Man, You’d have me do more than I can: Tush Master, then says Joan, Pray let my Dame alone; What a devilish Squalling you keep, That I can neither rest nor Sleep. This was enough to make a Maiden sick And full of Pain; She begins to Fling and Kick, And swore she’d rent her Smock in twain: But you shall hear anon, There was a Man his name was John, To whom this Maid she went alone, And in this manner made her moan; I prithee John tell me no Lie, What ails my Dame to Squeak and Cry? I prithee John tell me the same, What is’t my Master gives my Dame? It is a Steel, quoth John, My Master gives my Dame at Night: Altho’ some fault she find, I’m sure it is her Heart’s Delight: And you Joan for your part, You love one withal your Heart: Yes, marry then quoth John, Therefore to you I make my moan; If that I may be so bold, Where are these things to be sold? At London then said John, Next Market day I’ll bring thee one. What will a good one cost, If I shou’d chance to stand in need? Twenty Shillings, says John, And for Twenty Shillings you may speed: Then Joan she ran unto her Chest, And fetch’d him Twenty Shillings just; John, said she, here is your Coin, And I pray you have me in your Mind: And out of my Love therefore, There is for you two Shillings more; And I pray thee honest John Long, Buy me one that’s Stiff and Strong. To Market then he went, When he had the Money in his Purse; He domineer’d and vapour’d, He was as stout as any Horse: Some he spent in Ale and Beer, And some he spent upon good Cheer; The rest he brought home again, To serve his turn another time: Welcome home honest John, God a mercy gentle Joan; Prithee John let me feel, Hast thou brought me home a Steel? Yes, marry then quoth John, And then he took her by the Hand; He led her into a Room, Where they cou’d see neither Sun nor Moon: Together John the Door did clap, He laid the Steel into her Lap: With that Joan began to feel, Cuts Foot, quoth she, ‘tis a dainty Steel: I prithee tell me, and do not lye, What are the two Things hang thereby? They be the two odd Shillings, quoth John, That you put last into my Hand: If I had known so much before, I wou’d have giv’n thee two Shillings more.105 |
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