CHAPTER XI AGATHA'S DECISION

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It was with an expectancy which was toned down by misgivings that Hawtrey drove over to the homestead where Agatha was staying the next afternoon. The misgivings were not unnatural, for he had been chilled by the girl’s reception of him on the previous day, and her manner afterwards had, he felt, left something to be desired. Indeed, when she drove away with Mrs. Hastings, he had considered himself an injured man.

His efforts to mend the harness, and extricate the wagon in the dark, which occupied him for an hour, had helped partly to drive the matter from his mind, and when he reached his homestead rather late that night he went to sleep, and slept soundly until sunrise. Hawtrey was a man who never brooded over his troubles beforehand, and this was one reason why he did not always cope with them successfully when they could no longer be avoided.

When he had eaten his breakfast, however, he became sensible of a certain pique against both Mrs. Hastings and Agatha. In planning for the day he was forced to remember that he had no hired man, and that there was a good deal to be done. He decided that it might be well to wait until the afternoon before he called on Agatha, and for several hours he drove his team through the crackling stubble. His doubts and irritation grew weaker as he worked, and when, later, he drove into sight of the Hastings homestead, his buoyant temperament was beginning to reassert itself. Clear sunshine streamed down upon the prairie out of a vault of cloudless blue, and he felt that any faint shadow that might have arisen between him and the girl could be readily swept away. He was a little less sure of this when he saw Agatha, who sat near an open window, in a scantily furnished match-boarded room. She had not slept at all. Her eyes were heavy, but there was a look of resolution in them which seemed out of place just then, and it struck him that she had lost the freshness which had been her distinguishing charm in England.

She rose when he came in, and then, to his astonishment, drew back a pace or two when he moved impulsively towards her.

“No,” she said, with a hand raised restrainingly, “you must hear what I have to say, and try to bear with me. It is a little difficult, Gregory, but it must be said at once.”

Gregory stood still, gazing at her with consternation in his face, and for a moment she looked steadily at him. It was a painful moment, for she was gifted with a clearness of vision which she almost longed to be delivered from. She saw that the impression which had brought her a vague sense of dismay on the previous afternoon was wrong. The trouble was that he had not changed at all. He was what he had always been, and she had merely deceived herself when she had permitted her girlish fancy to endow him with qualities and graces which he had never possessed. There was, however, no doubt that she had still a duty toward him.

He spoke first with a trace of hardness in his voice.

“Then,” he rejoined, “won’t you sit down? This is naturally a little—embarrassing—but I’ll try to listen.”

Agatha sank into a seat by the open window, for she felt physically worn out, and before her there was a task from which she shrank.

“Gregory,” she began, “I feel that we have come near making what might prove to be a horrible mistake.”

“We?” repeated Hawtrey, while the blood rose into his weather-darkened face. “That means both of us.”

“Yes,” asserted Agatha, with a steadiness that cost her an effort.

Hawtrey went a step nearer to her. “Do you want me to admit that I’ve made a mistake.”

“Are you quite sure you haven’t?”

She flung the question at him sharply with tense apprehension, for, after all, if Gregory was sure of himself, there was only one course open to her. He leaned upon the table, gazing at her, and as he studied her face his indignation melted, and doubts crept into his mind.

She looked weary, and grave, almost haggard, and it was a fresh, light-hearted girl with whom he had fallen in love in England. The mark of the last two years of struggle was plain on her. He tried to realize what he had looked for when he had asked her to marry him, and could not get a clear conception of his vision. In the back of his mind was a half-formulated idea that he had dreamed of a cheerful companion, somebody to amuse him. She scarcely seemed likely to be entertaining now.

Gregory was not a man who could face a crisis collectedly, and his thoughts became confused until one idea emerged from them. He had pledged himself to her, and the fact laid a certain obligation upon him. It was his part to overrule any fancies she might be disposed to indulge in.

“Well,” he said stoutly, “I’m not going to admit anything of that kind. The journey has been too much for you. You haven’t got over it yet.” He lowered his voice, and his face softened. “Aggy, dear, I’ve waited four years for you.”

His words stirred her, for they were certainly true, and his gentleness had also its effect. The situation was becoming more and more difficult, since it seemed impossible to make him understand that he would in all probability speedily tire of her. To make it clear that she could never be satisfied with him was a thing from which she shrank.

“How have you passed those four years?” she asked, to gain time.

For a moment his conscience smote him. He remembered the trips to Winnipeg, and the dances to which he had escorted Sally Creighton. It was, however, evident that Agatha could have heard nothing of Sally.

“I spent them in hard work. I wanted to make the place comfortable for you,” he answered. “It is true”—and he added this with a twinge of uneasiness, as he remembered that his neighbors had done much more with less incentive—“that it’s still very far from what I would like, but things have been against me.”

The speech had a far stronger effect than he could have expected, for Agatha remembered Wyllard’s description of what the prairie farmer had to face. Those four years of determined effort and patient endurance, as she pictured them, counted heavily against her in the man’s favor. It flashed upon her that, after all, there might have been some warrant for the view that she had held of Gregory’s character when he had fallen in love with her. He was younger then. There must have been latent possibilities in him, but the years of toil had killed them and hardened him. It was for her sake he had made the struggle, and now it seemed unthinkable that she should renounce him because he came to her with the dust and stain of it upon him. For all that, she was possessed with a feeling that she would involve them both in disaster if she yielded. Something warned her that she must stand firm.

“Gregory,” she said, “I seem to know that we should both be sorry afterwards if I kept my promise.”

Hawtrey straightened himself with a smile that she recognized. She had liked him for it once, for it had then suggested the joyous courage of untainted youth. Now, however, it struck her as merely hinting at empty, complacent assurance. She hated herself for the fancy, but it would not be driven away.

“Well,” he replied, “I’m quite willing to face that hazard. I suppose this diffidence is only natural, Aggy, but it’s a little hard on me.”

“No,” replied the girl with emphasis, “it’s horribly unnatural, and that’s why I’m afraid. I should have come to you gladly, without a misgiving, feeling that nothing could hurt me if I was with you. I wanted to do that, Gregory—I meant to—but I can’t.” Then her voice fell to a tone that had vibrant regret in it. “You should have made sure—you should have married me when you last came home.”

“But I’d nowhere to take you. The farm was only half-broken prairie, the homestead almost unhabitable.”

Agatha winced at this. It was, no doubt, true, but it seemed horribly petty and commonplace. His comprehension stopped at such details as these, and he had given her no credit for the courage which would have made light of bodily discomfort.

“Do you think that would have mattered? We were both very young then, and we could have faced our troubles and grown up together. Now we’re not the same. You let me grow up alone.”

Hawtrey shrugged his shoulders. “I haven’t changed,” he told her as she looked at him with deep-seeing eyes.

He contented himself with that, and Agatha grew more resolute. There was not a spark of imagination in him, scarcely even a spark of the passion which, if it had been strong enough, might have swept her away in spite of her shrinking. He was a man of comely presence, whimsical, and quick, as she remembered, at light badinage, but when there was a crisis to be grappled with he somehow failed. His graces were on the surface. There was no depth in him.

“Aggy,” he added humbly, when he should have been dominant and forceful, “it is only a question of a little time. You will get used to me.”

“Then,” pleaded the girl, who clutched at the chance of respite, “give me six months from to-day. It isn’t very much to ask, Gregory.”

Gregory wrinkled his brows. “It’s a great deal,” he answered slowly. “I feel that we shall drift further and further apart if once I let you go.”

“Then you feel that we have drifted a little already?”

“I don’t know what has come over you, Aggy, but there has been a change. I’m what I was, and I want to keep you.”

Agatha rose and turned towards him a white face. “If you are wise you will not urge me now,” she said.

Hawtrey met her gaze for a moment, and then made a sign of acquiescence as he turned his eyes away. He recognized that this was a new Agatha, one whose will was stronger than his. Yet he was astonished that he had yielded so readily.

“Well,” he agreed, “if it must be, I can only give way to you, but I must be free to come over here whenever I wish.” Suddenly a thought struck him. “But you may hare to go away,” he added, with sudden concern. “If I am to wait six months, what are you to do in the meanwhile?”

Agatha smiled wearily. Now that the respite had been granted her, the question he had raised was not one that caused her any great concern.

“Oh,” she answered, “we can think of that later. I have borne enough to-day. This has been a little hard upon me, Gregory.”

“I don’t think it has been particularly easy for either of us,” returned Hawtrey, with grimness. “Anyway, it seems that I’m only distressing you.” There was a baffled, puzzled look in his face. “Naturally, this is so unexpected that I don’t know what to say. I’ll come back when I feel I’ve grasped the situation.”

Taking one of her hands, he stooped and kissed her cheek.

“My dear,” he said, “I only want to make it as easy as I can. You’ll try to think of me favorably.”

He went out and left her sitting beside the open window. A warm breeze swept into the room; outside a blaze of sunshine rested on the prairie. The ground about the house was torn up with wheel ruts, for the wooden building rose abruptly without fence or garden from the waste of whitened grass. Close to the house stood a birch-log barn or stables, its sides curiously ridged and furrowed where the trunks were laid on one another. Further away rose a long building of sod, and a great shapeless yellow mound with a domed top towered behind it. It was most unlike a trim English rick, and Agatha wondered what it could be. As a matter of fact, it was a not uncommon form of granary, the straw from the last thrashing flung over a birch-pole framing. Behind it ran a great breadth of knee-high stubble, blazing ocher and cadmium in the sunlight. It had evidently extended further than it did, for a blackened space showed where a fire had been lighted to destroy it. In the big field Hastings was plowing. Clad in blue duck he plodded behind his horses, which stopped now and then when the share jarred against a patch of still frozen soil. Further on two other men, silhouetted in blue against the whitened grass, drove spans of slowly moving oxen that hauled big breaker plows, and the lines of clods that lengthened behind them gleamed in the sunlight a rich chocolate-brown. Beyond them the wilderness ran unbroken to the horizon.

Agatha gazed at it all vacantly, but the newness and strangeness of it reacted upon her. She felt very desolate and lonely, but she remembered that she must still grapple with a practical difficulty. She could not stay with Mrs. Hastings indefinitely, and she had not the least notion where to go or what she was to do. She was leaning back in her chair wearily with half-closed eyes when her hostess came in and looked at her with a smile that suggested comprehension. Mrs. Hastings was thin, and seemed a trifle worn, but she had shrewd, kindly eyes. She wore a plain print dress which was dusted here and there with flour.

“So you have sent him away!” she exclaimed.

It was borne in upon Agatha that she could be candid with this woman who had already guessed the truth.

“Yes,” she replied, “for six months. That is, we are not to decide on anything until they have passed. I felt we must get used to each other. It seemed best.”

“To you. Did it seem best to Gregory?”

A flush crept into Agatha’s face. Though his acquiescence had been a relief to her, she felt that he might have made a more vigorous protest.

“He gave in to me,” she answered.

Mrs. Hastings looked thoughtful. “Well,” she observed, “I believe you were wise, but that opens up another question. What are you going to do in the meanwhile?”

“I don’t know,” confessed Agatha apathetically. “I suppose I shall have to go away—to Winnipeg, most probably. I could teach, I think.”

“How are you and Gregory to get used to each other if you go away?”

Agatha made a helpless gesture. “I hadn’t looked at it in that light.”

“Are you very anxious to get used to him?”

Agatha shrank from the question; but there was a constraining kindliness in the older woman’s eyes.

“I daren’t quite think about it yet. I mean to try. I must try. I seem to be playing an utterly contemptible, selfish part, but I could not marry him—now!”

Mrs. Hastings crossed the room, and sat down by her side.

“My dear,” she said, “as I told you, I think you are doing right, and I believe I know how you feel. Everybody prophesied disaster when I came out to join Allen from a sheltered home in Montreal, and at the beginning my life here was not easy to me. It was all so different, and there were times when I was afraid, and my heart was horribly heavy. If it hadn’t been for Allen I think I should have given in and broken down. He understood, however. He never failed me.”

Agatha’s eyes grew misty, and she turned her head away.

“Yes,” she replied, “that would make it wonderfully easier.”

“You must forgive me,” apologized Mrs. Hastings. “I was tactless, but I didn’t mean to hurt you. Well, one difficulty shouldn’t give us very much trouble. Why shouldn’t you stay here with me?”

Agatha turned towards her abruptly with a look of relief in her face, which faded quickly. She liked this woman, and she liked her husband, but she remembered that she had no claim on them.

“Oh,” she declared, “it is out of the question.”

“Wait a little. I’m proposing to give you quite as much as you will probably care to do. There are my two little girls to teach, and I think they have rather taken to you. I can scarcely find a minute for their lessons, and, as you have seen, there is a piano which has only a few of the keys broken. Besides, we have only one Scandinavian maid who smashes everything that isn’t made of indurated fiber, and I’m afraid she’ll marry one of the boys in a month or two. It was only by sending the kiddies to Brandon and getting Mrs. Creighton, a neighbor of ours, to look after Allen, who insisted on my going, that I was able to get to Paris with some Montreal friends. In any case, you’d have no end of duties.”

“You are doing this out of—charity!”

Mrs. Hastings laughed. “A week or two ago, Allen wrote to some friends of his in Winnipeg asking them to send me anybody.”

The girl’s eyes shone mistily. “Oh!” she cried, “you have lifted one weight off my mind.”

“I think,” observed Mrs. Hastings, “the others will also be removed in due time.”

After that she talked cheerfully of other matters, and Agatha listened to her with a vague wonder at her own good fortune in falling in with such a friend.

There are in that country many men and women who are unfettered by conventions. They stretch out an open hand to the stranger and the outcast. Toil has brought them charity in place of hardness, and still retaining, as some of them do, the culture of the cities, they have outgrown all the petty bonds of caste. The wheat-grower and the hired-man eat together. Rights are good-humoredly conceded in place of being fought for, and the sense of grievance and half-veiled suspicion common elsewhere among employes are exchanged for an efficient co-operation. It must, however, be admitted that there are also farmers of another kind, from whom the hired man has occasionally some difficulty in extracting his covenanted wages by personal violence.

The two women had been talking a long time when a team and a jolting wagon swept into sight, and Mrs. Hastings rose as the man who drove pulled up his horses.

“It’s Sproatly; I wonder what has brought him here,” she remarked.

The man sprang down from the wagon and walked towards the house. She gazed at him almost incredulously.

“He’s quite smart,” she added. “I don’t see a single patch on that jacket, and he has positively got his hair cut.”

“Is that an unusual thing in Mr. Sproatly’s case?” Agatha inquired.

“Yes,” said Mrs. Hastings. “It’s very unusual indeed. What is stranger still, he has taken the old grease-spotted band off his hat, after clinging to it affectionately for the last twelve months.”

Agatha thought that the soft hat, which fell shapelessly over part of Sproatly’s face, needed something to replace the discarded band; but in another moment he entered the room. He shook hands with them both.

“You are looking remarkably fresh, but appearances are not invariably to be depended on, and it’s advisable to keep the system up to par,” he said with a smile. “I suppose you don’t want a tonic of any kind?”

“I don’t,” declared Mrs. Hastings resolutely; “Allen doesn’t, either. Besides, didn’t you get into some trouble over that tonic?”

“It was the cough cure,” explained Sproatly with a grin. “I sold a man at Lander’s one of the large-sized bottles, and when he had taken some he felt a good deal better. Then he seems to have argued the thing out like this: if one dose had relieved the cough, a dozen should drive it out of him altogether, and he took the lot. He slept for forty-eight hours afterward, and when I came across him at the settlement he attacked me with a club. The fault, I may point out, was in his logic. Perhaps you would like some pictures. I’ve a rather striking oleograph of the Kaiser. It must be like him, for two of his subjects recognized it. One hung it up in his shanty; the other asked me to hold it out, and then pitched a stove billet through the middle of it. He, however, produced his dollar; he said he felt so much better after what he’d done that he didn’t grudge it.”

“I’m afraid we’re not worth powder and shot,” said Mrs. Hastings. “Do you ever remember our buying any tonics or pictures from you?”

“I don’t, though I have felt that you ought to have done it.” Sproatly, who paused a moment, turned towards Agatha with a little whimsical bow. “The professional badinage of an unlicensed dealer in patent medicines may now and then mercifully cover a good deal of embarrassment. Miss Ismay has brought something pleasantly characteristic of the Old Country along with her.”

His hostess disregarded the last remark. “Then if you didn’t expect to sell us anything, what did you come for?”

“For supper,” answered Sproatly cheerfully. “Besides that, to take Miss Rawlinson out for a drive. I told her last night it would afford me considerable pleasure to show her the prairie. We could go round by Lander’s and back.”

“Then you will probably come across her somewhere about the straw-pile with the kiddies.”

Sproatly took the hint, and when he went out Mrs. Hastings laughed.

“You would hardly suppose that was a young man of excellent education!” she exclaimed. “So it’s on Winifred’s account he has driven over; at first I fancied it was on yours.”

Agatha was astonished, but she smiled. “If Winifred favors him with her views about young men he will probably be rather sorry for himself. He lives near you?”

“No,” said Mrs. Hastings. “In the summer he lives in his wagon, or under it, I don’t know which. Of course, if he’s really taken with Winifred he will have to alter that.”

“But he has only seen her once—you can’t mean that he is serious.”

“I really can’t speak for Sproatly, but it would be quite in keeping with the customs of the country if he was.”

A minute or two later Agatha saw Winifred in the wagon when it reappeared from behind the straw-pile, and Mrs. Hastings turned toward the window.

“She has gone with him,” she commented significantly. “Unfortunately, he has taken my kiddies too. If he brings them back with no bones broken it will be a relief to me.”


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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