The adder iz az spotted az a checker-board, and are very butiful tew admire at a propper distance oph.

They hav a koal blak eye, which revolves on its axis, and shines like a glass bead.

They kan be found in wet places, and are handy tew liv, both down in the water, and up on the top ov the land. They kan slip oph from an old bridge, or a log, into a mill pond, az natral, and az eazy, az a pint ov turpentine, and kno how tew swim, and wave, on the brest ov sum water like the shaddo ov the weeping willo.

They are harmless tew bight, but one adder, would spile all the bathing thare waz in a mill pond for me, when i waz a boy.

THE STRIPED SNAIK.

The striped snaix is one ov the garden varietys. They inhabit door yards, and stun heaps down at the foot ov the garden, and piles ov old boards, and weedy spots, and grass generally.

They are the domestik snaik, if thare iz enny such thing, and are really az harmless az an old garter, but az full ov fraid tew almost every boddy, az a torpedo.

The fust snaix, we hav enny ackount ov much, waz the devil, surnamed bellyzebubb, who wiggled his way into the Garden of Eden, and without a single trump in hiz hand, beat our two original ansesstors, out ov joy inneffible, and glory halleluyer forever, and gave them in exchange for it sorrow without stint, and wo unutterabel. This was an unkommon poor trade for the human family. All snaiks are sneaks, and steal around on their slippry stummuks, az still, and greazy, az lamp ile.

Snaix kant stand the enkroachments ov civilizashun, the seed ov the woman iz alwus after them with a long pole, and a man, post haste for a doktor, will alwuss dismount, and hich hiz animile hoss, tew put an extra hed onto a snaix.

This kind ov treatment has alwus made snaiks raizing a dredful risky bizzness teu follow.

Out ov one thousand snaixs born annually, the staytisstix sho 930 ov them die in a grate hurry, espeshily whare churches and school houses flourish.

I don’t kno ov a more unhelthy spot in the world for a snaix teu settle down and undertaik teu bring up a family than near a distrikt school house.

Let enny body just holler “striped snaix” once, near a distrikt school house, and you will see the snaix begin teu paddle, and the young ones begin tew bile out like hornets out ov their nest, and proceed for that snaix like a flok of young turkeys for a Junebug.

Striped snaiks are about two feet and one haff in length, and about one inch in diameter, and “thareby hangs a tail.”

THE BLUE RACER.

The blue racer is a Western snaik, about 6 feet in length, ov a pale blue color, and the smartest snaix, for suddenness, in the universe.

They kan run, on a unmown meaddo, as fast as ahoss, with their heds about 2 foot high, and their whole boddy bileing with muscles.

They are az harmless az a rabbit, and will run if you chase them, and then will turn and chase you, if you want them tew play “tag.”

They are froliksom cusses, but I never did hanker for sitch kind of refreshments.

They are the nicest kind ov a mark to shoot at.

Draw a fine sight on their heds when they hold up abov the turf, and let them hav one barrell ov number 6 shot, and the hed will be missing, and the ballance ov the snaix will be looking after the hed in a grate hurry, turning all sorts of back summersets and double and twisted bo knots, and hirogliphick kontortions for 20 minutes, before they make up their mind that it is safe tew die.

It is a dredful krewel sight tew see them ketch a frog, it iz alwus done on a run, and done quick, for the poor frog don’t stand enny more chance ov getting away than a chesnutt tree duz when lightning fires up, and goes for it.

They swallo the frog whole, and stik out with a frog in them like a yung purp who haz allowed a quart ov buttermilk tew find its way into him.

THE BLAK SNAIK.

The blak snaix iz the only one i kno ov who kan klimb a 175 tree without boosting, and take the yung birds out ov their nests oph from the topmost limb.

They are az handy in a tree top az a yung munkey, but are not pizon tew bight.

They hav a festive way ov choking things tew death by making a cravat ov themselfs around the thruts ov their victims.

I hav herd ov wicked children being killed in this way, but never knu a boy who tended Sunday skool regular, and who want sassy tew hiz grandfather, and who didn’t eat enny green apples, and hav the stummuk ake in consequents, to get choked bi a blak snaix.

Wicked little boys, who pla marbles on Sunday, and who say “Go up, old bald hed,” and who put kittens into tar barrels will make a note ov this.

The blak snaix iz about 5 feet in length, and sumtimes haz a white ring around hiz nek.

There iz very little poetry in snaix ov enny kind, untill they git their heds smashed, and here iz just whare the poetry comes in.

There ain’t much poetry in me, but if I waz called upon tew write an obituary notiss for the whole race ov snaix, who lay dead in one pile, i would take oph mi coat, rool up mi sleeves, and saliva mi hands, and rite sum verses that i wouldn’t be ashamed ov enny how, for i should expekt the solemnity ov the ockashun would help me out ov the skrape.

THE MILK SNAIK.

The milk snaix hangs around pasture lots, and iz said tew fasten onto the udders ov the cows, and git hiz milk puntch in this underhand way.

I don’t beleave this, but in writing the biography ov snaix no man iz obliged tew tell the whole truth about them enny how.

Fish and snaix are two things that authors are apt tew consider the fackts ov when they write onto them.

I never knu a man yet, not even of fust rate judgment, 176 if he should ketch a fish that weighed 4 pounds but would guess he weighed 6, and if he should kill a snaix that was 5 feet, and three inches long, would want tew sware he waz 14 foot long, without taking the krooks out ov him.

This iz human natur, and human natur is heavy on a marvel.

The Bible sez, “marvel not,” and altho i look upon all things in the Bible with the utmost venerashun, I hav wondered if Joner’s ketching the whale just az he did, wasn’t some kind ov authority for the fish storys ov the present daze.

If a man in theze times should ketch a whale az Joner did, he would write an ackount ov it, and travel around the kuntry and lektur onto it, and when he deskribed the size ov that whale, if a man wan’t smart in figgures, he would git a poor idea of the animile’s dimenshuns.

I never have saw a milk snaix yet, and if i phool mi life away, and don’t never see one, I don’t intend tew mourn inkonsolably about it.

I hav alreddy seen all the snaix I want to, and wouldn’t go a haff a mile from here to see all the snaix on the buzzum ov the earth unless thare waz a bonfire ov them.

Snaix ov all kinds hav got but one destiny tew fill, and Divine Providence haz fixt that; it is tew git their heds squeezed by a suitable sized pebble.