The Miss Simphonys, ov Providence, are on a visit tew the Miss Sinbads, ov Lexington avenew—lovely creatures all ov them.

Mocking birds’ tongues on toast will be on the bills ov fare, this summer, at the Kontinental Hotel, Long Branch.

The Rev. Namby Pamby asked for a 4 thousand dollar hoist in his salary, or dismissal. The congregashun voted unanimus to let him went. (Bully for the kongregashun.)

Mrs. Ulrich Nikodemus haz changed the hour ov her resepshuns from haff past 2 o’klok P. M., on Wensdays, to a quarter of 3 on the same day, a change ov 15 minnits. Exchange papers will pleaze coppy.

Obadiah Bunkum sold hiz hameltonian pup Jerry, last week, tew Richards, the jews harp solo, for 50 thousand dollars, reserving the collar. This iz spoken ov az so mutch ov a dekline in prices az tew shake the pup market tew its center.

It it sed (but not offishall) that Mr. and Mrs. Punchinello will not visit the White Mountains this summer. Their dauter, 454 Betsy Punchinello, iz sed tew be affianced tew the Baron Von Chaulk, and the family will enter seklushun on this account.

Dick Blister waz arrested yesterday bi offiser Pinkerton for trieing tew pass a counterfit omnibus on a 50 cent driver ov the 23 street line ov stages.

Paul Burdok advertizes for a lost poodle ov the Sanco Panza breed, and offers 40 dollars “for hiz uncerimonious return.” (“Uncerimonious return” iz kussid good.)

Rum and tanzy, a popular gargle a hundred years ago, is being revived among the hi toned cirkles. One man in Nu Jersey haz drove all the musketoze oph from a thousand akers ov land, and planted the whole ov the land with rum and tanzy, in antisipashun ov the sharp rally in bitters that may be looked for.

Jaw Bone Bill a selebrated brave ov the Ninkumpoop tribe ov injuns, on the June Bug river, Californy, waz lately bit apart bi a grizzly bear. Jaw Bone died pretty soon after the occashun, but the bear lived in grate agony for 4 daze, when deth put an end tew hiz sufferings.

Miss Rosa Peachblow, ov Madison avenew sez she iz not affianced tew a prominent Wall street broker, and will giv 5 dollars or thareabouts tew find out who started the fancy sketch. (City papers pleaz copy.)

G. W. Carleton, the publisher, will soon issue a book for Josh Billings, entitled “Eggs ov Comfort Laid by the Hen Consolashun.” (This iz a kussid no sich thing.—J. B.)

The cirkulashun ov the New York Weekly haz allready reached three hundred thousand, and still iz singing that same old tune, “Excelsior.”

The lovely McFizzles (twins) ov “snob place,” will hav a klam bake, sum time this seazon, at their sea side place, “Goose Nook,” to whitch the Van Doodles are invited. (Doubtful.)

Mr. William Pierpont, ov Goshen, Orange County, haz a sucking colt, ov the Hambletonian breed, which lately followed the mare one mile around the trak, in 2 minnits and 23 455 seckonds, on a trot. This is sed tew be 8 seckonds the best mile made yet by enny sucker.

Report sez that the staunch widdow, Angeline Beeach nee Brown, nee Jones, nee Beckwith, nee Smith, nee McPherson, nee Miss Angeline Spraker—5 times a widder, will soon lead tew the alter Walter Roundout, Esq., (Good bye, Walter.)

On dit, that Dick Manchester haz quit the cork minstrel bizzness, and iz starring it legitimately at Sing Sing, on a 2 years engagement.

On ditto, that the peanut krop ov North Karolina iz a failure, and that starvashun must foller.

On dittimus, that George Washington Vinegar will spend sum time this year at the 5th avenew hotel.

New Jersey wants tew be admitted into the Union.

It iz stated that it kosts 13 hundred dollars tew civilize one injun, and then the injun aint worth but 250 dollars. Loss on each injun tew the government, in money, about 1 thousand dollars; but, the moral results are sed tew be heavy. (Let the good work go on.)

Mrs. William Hoboken haz had her clarence nuly painted. The nu color iz chestnut sorrel—the old color waz dapple grey.

We are authorized tew state that Mr. Alanthus haz just returned from the state ov Injunanny in full bloom, having resided thare one year, ackording tew law, and iz now reddy tew receive proposals.

A writer in Blackwood Magazine estimates “that thare haint been over 250 fleas killed since the flood.”

We are pleased tew notiss the growing popularity ov Mr. and Mrs. Jibboom; their respektibility iz now fully established, they having appeared on the avenew with a 2 horse carriage, and a slitely coloured driver, with a velvet hat band and sum yeller brass buttons.

The latest agony in poodles iz saffron, with steel coloured eyes.

Matilda O’Brine, four daze in her last place, with a karacter, will receive proposals at her residence, in Albany street.

No objeckshuns tew going into the country for the summer az companyun tew a lady, provided suitable references are given! Lessons on the pianno will be accepted insted ov the usual presents expekted from the family.

Enny one wishing tew adopt male or female children, kan hav their pik out ov 16 bi calling on Mrs. Patrik McFergurson. All the children hav got thru teething, and hav had waccinashun.