“Ferdinand.”—“Man wants but little here belo, nor wants that little long,” iz a libel, man wants evrything he kan see, or hear ov, and never is willing to let go ov hiz grab. Whenever yu find a man who iz thoroughly satisfied with what he has got, yu will find either an ideot, or one who haz tried to git more and couldn’t do it.

The older a man grows, the more wantful he bekums, and az hiz hold on life slakens, hiz pinch on a dollar grows grippy.

“Herod.”—He that puts a small value on hiz services, issues proposals tew the lowest bidder. When yu make a request ov divine Providence, it iz best to be modest, if yu expekt to git what you ask for, but there is so little modesty in the world, between men, that when we cum acrost it, we mistake it for ignorance or imbecility. Yu will often see little boys ketching flies, and killing them just for fun, but you don’t see them ketch hornets just for fun. The sting in the hornet’s tail iz what makes him respektable.

“Miller.”—Yu hav got it right the fust time, ingratitude is one ov them crimes that evry boddy sticks up their noze 495 at, it is the worst insult we kan giv, or receive, it lets a man drop down belo the level ov the dum brutes, for the yellowest, and meanest dog in the United States wags hiz tail, if yu throw him but a burnt crust. What an awful thought it iz, that ingratitude iz the common sin against God.

“Matilda.”—Kissing is one ov the rudiments, babys are learnt it instead ov the alphabet, but they dont understand the strong points in it, yet they seem tew luv it without knowing why, this iz a bricky argument that kissing iz one ov naturs most natural noshuns. I kant tell yu whether thare is enny pertikular etiket to be observed in administrating a kiss or not. Between lovers it iz sumtimes usual to kiss and hang on, but it strikes me that the best way iz tew cum up frunt face, in single file, then fire and fall back one pace, this gives the patients a chance tew get the flavour. The grate buty ov a kiss lies in its impulsiveness, and in its impressibility, two pretty big words, but worth the munny.

I haven’t dun enny thing in the kissing line, (ov an amateur natur,) ov late years, and there may be sum new dodge, that i aint posted in, but the old-fashioned, 25 year ago kind, i remember fresh, that kind didn’t hav enny mathematicks in it, but waz more like spontaneous combustion.

Kissing, az a general thing, iz not very interesting tew bystanders, and iz sumtimes even looked upon, by a third party, az uncalled-for.

“Warwick.”—“He that giveth tew the poor, lendeth tew the Lord,” if yu had read yure Bible az mutch az i hav, yu wouldn’t hav asked me if Shakespeare wrote this remark.

Charity iz az mutch ov a privilege, az it iz a duty, and lending to the Lord, iz undoubted security, for enny man’s munny.

He that gives nothing away while living, dies a bankrupt, and hiz estate iz generally settled by hiz heirs, a good deal az the crows settle a ded hoss, by pitching into the remains.

Thare iz menny folks whoze hearts bile with charity, but whoze extremitys are cold, a half a dollar kontrakts tew a 3 cent piece, by the time it reaches the end ov their fingers.

“Gildad.”—Yure juicy letter haz questions enuff tew make 496 a distrikt-school-master faint, and if i should answer them all, yu would be fuller ov edukashun than an aulmanak.

Who the author ov the saying, “the good die yung,” waz, i don’t care, but i will remark, if that iz a good bet, the yunger a man kan die the better; and not tew be born at all, iz a ded sure thing.

Again, az it regards the number ov years that a kat kan live, that depends entirely upon circumstances, they kant liv over Sunday with me.

“Abel.”—Yu kant pick out a hipokrite by his looks, enny more than yu kan a fat oyster by the shell, they are frequently like an old musket, laid away up garret, hav often bin known, tew let oph a charge, that had been sleeping, with one eye open, for 3 years. They are like silver-plated forks, wear well for a long time, but are sure to show the odious brass at last.

“Hannibal.”—Giving presents, with the hope of receiving presents in return, takes away awl the cream ov giving, or receiving, it is like swopping skim-milk, for milk that has bin skimd.

“Mercury.”—“Owe for a lodge in sum vast wilderness,” waz the private opinion of Mr. Cowper, one ov the very few men, who hav lived yet, who waz pure enuff, tew monopolize a woods, without enny company but his soul, and the God who made it. Most people holler for solitude without thinking that it iz a thickly settled place, full ov memorys. Solitude is the last place for a good man to go to, and the only place that a wicked man kant liv in. Even wild beasts dont like solitude, and luv tew see the smoke ov a chimbly. Solitude, in small doses, iz all well enuff, but 25 miles square ov it, would make most men, either a counterfiter, or a hoss thief.