I kum to the conclusion, lately, that life waz so onsartin, that the only wa for me tu stand a fair chance with other folks, was to git my life insured, and so i kalled on the Agent 404 of the “Garden Angel life insurance Co.,” and answered the following questions, which waz put tu me over the top ov a pair of goold specks, by a slik little fat old feller, with a little round gray head, az pretty az enny man ever owned:—

QUESTIONS.

1st—Are yu mail or femail? if so, Pleze state how long you have been so.

2d—Are yu subjec tu fits, and if so, do yu hav more than one at a time?

3d—What is yure precise fiteing weight?

4th—Did yu ever have enny ancestors, and if so, how much?

5th—What iz yure legal opinion ov the constitutionality ov the 10 commandments.

6th—Du yu ever hav enny nite mares?

7th—Are you married and single, or are yu a Bachelor?

8th—Do yu beleave in a futer state? if yu du, state it.

9th—What are yure private sentiments about a rush ov rats tu the head; can it be did successfully?

10th—Hav yu ever committed suiside, and if so, how did it seem to affect yu?

After answering the above questions, like a man in the confirmatif, the slik little fat old fellow with goold specks on, ced i was insured for life, and probably would remain so for a term ov years. I thanked him, and smiled one ov my most pensive smiles.