After all i don’t kno az thare iz ennything in this world that pays mutch better than being a natral born phool.

A literary reputashun iz hard tew git and eazy tew loose, and when once lost iz lost forever.

Thare iz grate art in growing old gracefully.

If a man haz got a good reputashun he better git it insured, for they are dredful risky.

Misplaced charity iz a good blunder tew make. If yu want tew git a good general idee ov a man’s karakter find out from him what hiz opinion ov his nabor iz.

It iz a grate deal better for a man tew be defamed than tew be praized for what he don’t possess.

Genuine happiness is like a genuine ghost, everyboddy talks about them and seems tew beleaf in them, but i guess noboddy hain’t seen one yet.

Solomon remarked “that thare want ennything nu under the sun,” and it duz really seem that if a man sez ennything nu he haz got tew lie a leetle tew do it.

I serpose that whi advise is such a drug in the market iz bekauze the supply alwus exceeds the demand.

Dandys and blujays are alike, both worthless without their feathers.

Gold seems tew be the standard of all values in this world Even virtew in a poor man, iz quoted 75 per cent belo par.

Watching one’s helth all the time iz like watching the weather—a grate deal of time iz lost, and thare iz just az menny showers after all.

We hear a good deal sed about the freaks ov natur, but i hav alwus noticed that when natur makes a two-legged swine, she takes a mighty sight ov pains about it.

Gravity iz the homage that a phool pays to wisdum, without knowing it.

A flatterer iz a common enemy.

If mankind were obliged tew giv their gifts sekretly, they would look upon it az a grate hardship.

He that won’t listen, kan’t learn; phools and bobalinks are poor listeners, and hav but one song.

Thare iz nothing we talk so fluently about az happiness, and nothing we kno so little about.

Revenge iz the prerogative ov the brutes.

Manner iz a grate deal more attraktive than matter—espeshily in a monkey.

Whenever yu find a man who iz strikly honest, yu will find one who iz truly courageous.

When eloquence and wisdum kontend for the superiority in a man, he haz got about az far abuv the rest ov us az he kan git.

The luv ov change iz az natral in man az it iz in natur.

Thare iz two kinds ov hipokrits, the bold, and the humble, and the humble ones are the wust.

The grate strength ov simplicity lays in the words, not in the ideas.

I don’t beleave thare iz ennything in this world that will add to a man’s wealth, convenience or luxury, but what he kan git, if he will only hunt enuff for it.

All wimmin are bi natur flirts, but those who are the most so, have the least sense.

To be thoroughly good-natured, and yet avoid being imposed upon, shows great strength ov character.

Enny person who will deliberately flatter yu, will deliberately defame yu.

It iz a mighty hard job tew respekt the man that we hav tew forgiv.

I beleave thare iz more people in this world, honest from policy, than thare iz from principle.

Very old people often are free from all appearances ov sin, bekauze they hav nothing left for either tew feed upon.

Thare are people who are alwus anticipating trubble, and in this way they manage tew enjoy menny sorrows that never really happen tew them.

Fear ov sin haz made a grate menny more Christians than the luv ov virtew haz.

I kno ov sevral kinds ov kuriosity, but thare iz one kind which prompts us tew stick our noze into things just for the purpose ov smelling.

The luv ov praize never made enny man wuss, and haz made menny a man better.

Thoze people who are sik and disgusted with themselfs are the ones who suffer from ennui.

In bible times, when Balem’s ass spoke, it waz a mirakle; but the daze ov mirakels are over, and the greatest asses we hav in theze times are the gratest talkers.

Thare iz quite a difference between a luminous and a voluminous writer, altho menny authors konfound the two.

Thoze who hav never sukceeded themselfs are alwus the most reddy tew tell others how tew do it.

I am satisfied that the 2 gratest bores in the world are the Hoosick tunnel and the author who iz hunting up a publisher for his fust book.

If yu wish tew retain the friendship, or even luv, ov others, yu must keep them in yure hands, and not git into theirs.

It iz kind ov phunny that while modesty iz the gratest evidence ov merit, it seems tew be the poorest gurantee ov suckcess.

Admire beauty, but don’t worship it.

Cunning men are sure tew git kaught at last, and when 298 they are kaught they are like a fox in a trap, about the sylliest looking fox yu ever see.

Yu mite az well undertake tew drown a knot-hole out, bi pouring water into it, az tew outtalk sum wimmin I kno ov.

We laff at sheep bekauze when one ov them leads the way all the rest follow, however ridikilus it may be, and i suppose sheep laff, when they see us doing the vary same thing.

It will do tew endorse some men, but not their paper, while thare iz others whoze paper iz safer tew endosse than their karakter.

Fortune iz no holyday goddess she don’t simper amung arkadian scenes, she dwells in rugged places, and yu kant wear her favors without winning them.