Hogs generally are quadriped.

The extreme length ov their antiquity haz never been fully discovered; they existed a long time before the flood, and hav existed a long time since.

There iz a grate deal ov internal revenew in a hog, thare ain’t mutch more waste in them than thare iz in a oyster.

Even their tails can be wurked up into whissells.

Hogs are good quiet boarders; they alwus eat what iz set before them, and don’t ask enny foolish questions.

They never hav enny disseaze but the meazles, and they never hav that but once; once seems to satisfy them.

Thare iz a grate menny breeds amongst them.

Sum are a close corporation breed, and sum are bilt more apart, like a hemlock slab.

Sum are full in the face, like a town clock, and some are az long and lean az a cow-catcher, with a steel pinted noze on them.

They kan awl rute well; a hog that kant rute well, haz bin made in vain.

They are a short lived animal, and generally die az soon az they git fatt.

The hog kan be larnt a grate menny cunning things, such az highsting the front gate off from the hinges, tipping over the swill barrells, and finding a hole in the fence to git into a cornfield, but thare ain’t enny length tew their memory; it iz awful hard work for them tew find the same hole to git out at, espeshly if yu are at all anxious they should.

Hogs are very kontrary, and seldom drive well the same way yu are going; they drive the most the other way; this haz never bin fully explained, but speaks volumes for the hog.