My Friends:

I have in previous letters shown, that the station of a domestic is honourable and respectable; and that it is a far more desirable situation than that of many deemed superior to it. I have also shown some of the reasons why it is not regarded as so honourable and respectable as it ought to he.

I now wish to point out some of the reasons why it is very important, both to employers and to domestics, that this employment should be raised, in general estimation, to that honour and respectability which really belongs to it.

To understand the subject properly, you must bear in mind these things. This nation is now more prosperous than any other in the world, and almost any man of intelligence, industry, and honesty, can, after a few years, gain so much wealth that he can afford to hire a domestic to help his wife. Such men, when young, are frequently marrying persons who are domestics. In this way it comes about, that the number of domestics is diminishing, and the number of those who wish to hire domestics is increasing. Domestics are constantly changing to be the mistresses of families, who wish to hire domestics themselves.

At the same time, women can be hired so much cheaper than men, that it is becoming more and more common to hire women to do what in past times was done by men in shops, stores, and manufactories. And though, in many cases, no greater wages are gained than domestics secure, yet as these places are considered superior in respectability, many who would otherwise go to service in families, prefer such places, even when they work longer and for less wages. But in some cases, women have far higher wages offered than are ever given to domestics.

These causes are operating constantly to diminish the number of domestics, until, in some parts of the country, many ladies cannot hire any person to do their family work on any terms, and though they are very wealthy, they are obliged to do all their own work. And the more prosperous this country grows, the more this scarcity of domestics will increase, unless something is done to remedy the difficulty.

And this will be the greater misfortune, because most young women, who have wealthy parents, are brought up in such a way, that they have a delicate constitution that cannot bear hard labour. When, therefore, they are married, not being able to hire domestics, their health and strength fail under the care and labours that come upon them; they lose their courage and spirits, life becomes a burden, and often, they drag out a weary life, or sink to an early grave. This brings anxiety, trouble, and care on husbands and fathers, and when the comforts of home are gone, the road to vice is near, while children, turned off for want of time, are still greater sufferers. Since I have travelled so much in this nation, I have been greatly distressed at the amount of care, anxiety and sorrow that oppress so many thousands, for want of proper aid from domestics. It is therefore of the greatest consequence to employers, that the station of a domestic should be so raised in comfort and respectability, that it will be regarded as a desirable situation by the thousands that are now employed in work injurious to themselves.

It is quite as important to all who must labour with their hands for a livelihood, that the station of a domestic should be regarded as a respectable and desirable one. I have shown how much superior this situation is to that of a shop or a manufactory, and it would be a great blessing to the young women of this nation, who earn their livelihood, if they so regarded it.

It is a matter, then, that equally interests all classes in society to inquire, How shall the station and employment of a domestic be raised in public estimation, so as to be regarded honourable and respectable, as much so as it deserves to be?

Now this can be accomplished only by having both sides try to bring it about. On the side of employers, pains must be taken to render the situation of domestics agreeable and comfortable, and to secure for them time and means to gain a good education and a comfortable support. And many intelligent persons are now feeling the importance of this. I have heard many gentlemen say, “When we get good domestics, we must pay them so well, and treat them so well, that they will feel that they cannot improve their condition by any change.” And I have seen many sensible women acting according to this advice.

But as this book is not designed for employers, but for domestics, I will confine myself to pointing out the modes by which you can contribute to raise the respectability of your situation.

To give you my views more clearly, I will describe a domestic who does the work in a family where I have resided.

In the first place, she always dresses herself neatly, and yet in a style fitting the work she has to do, while she keeps her chamber and kitchen in such neat order, and there is such a look of comfort and respectability about her and all her concerns, that every one likes to see her in her kitchen. Then she is intelligent and well educated, at least enough so to know that it is lady-like to be respectful and polite to every body. If any person comes into her kitchen, she offers a chair, and treats them with the same politeness that is shown by the lady of the house to her visitors.

Then she always does all her work well. Her bread is always the best, her meats are well cooked, her vegetables served hot and in the neatest order. She is economical and careful, too, so that nothing is wasted by neglect. She is not set in her own ways, but is always ready to do any kind of work that her employer wishes done, and to do it in the manner requested.

When the children come into the kitchen, if she has time and it is convenient, she makes it pleasant to them, but if they give her trouble, as she has authority given her to do this, she decidedly, but kindly, requires their instant departure.

She is so prudent, kind, and discreet, that the lady who employs her can, at any time, leave the care of her family and her children with her, and feel entirely at ease, knowing that every thing will be done in the best manner during her absence. And in times of sickness, she always looks to her kitchen for the tender sympathy and watchful care, which she never fails to find.

In the evenings, this domestic employs herself in the care of her own wardrobe, and finds some leisure time to read the books and papers that are abundantly supplied. In this way she stores her mind with useful and entertaining knowledge, so that this, with her native sense and shrewdness, makes her society agreeable and valued by the best educated persons.

It is true she has her frailties—for who is perfect? But these excellencies seem so to cover them over, that they are almost forgotten. Now the consequence of all this is, that more pains is taken in that family, to make this domestic comfortable and contented than is given to almost any other person. She is always treated with respect and kindness, and as she is never unreasonable in her requests, whatever she expresses a desire for, is always secured for her if possible. Her chamber, her kitchen, and all her comforts are carefully provided for, and the children would no more invade her rights, or treat her with disrespect, than they would treat their parents thus.

Now, I believe there are hundreds in this land, who, if they could get such a domestic as this, would agree to pay her almost any thing she, or any one would think of asking. Money, if it could secure such a domestic, would be of little account, with the multitudes, who now find that wealth cannot secure for them the services needed to make home comfortable.

You will now understand why I would advise, as the surest way of raising the respectability of your employment, to raise the character of domestics. Whenever a time comes in which such a domestic as the one I have described, is a fair picture of the whole class, it is very certain that the respect and regard that should be given to this employment, never will be withheld.

I have heard ladies of great good sense, and in the highest circles in our land, talk in this manner: “Now if I only could find domestics who are intelligent, well-bred, neat in dress and person, and who so understand the proprieties of their station as to set a good example to my children, I should not have the least objection to their sitting in my parlour, or at my table, whenever it was convenient, nor to treating them in all respects as the friends and companions of my children. But such domestics we cannot find.”

This single remark will show to you the reason why there often is a necessity of making so much difference between the situation of employers and domestics, as is generally seen in the most wealthy and intelligent circles. Parents, in the best society, wish to have their children trained so as to appear properly in the circles in which they move. For this end they strive to make them neat in dress and person, polite and respectful in manners, particularly in the use of refined and grammatical language, and careful to observe propriety in their behaviour at table and in society. Now if they could get domestics who would set a good example before their children, in these respects, it would be very agreeable to them to have them in the parlour and at table with the children, whenever it was convenient. But if domestics neglect their person, if their dress is negligent and untidy, if they are rough and coarse in their manners, and rude and disrespectful in address, if they use incorrect language and neglect the rules of propriety at table and in society, there is a very good reason for excluding them from the table and parlour, where their example would injure children and be offensive and disagreeable to visitors.

And it is a benefit to domestics that such feelings exist, for it tends to encourage them to try to be neat, tidy, well-bred and well educated. If there were no advantages to be gained by a good education and good manners, no one would try to gain them. This is one reason why God has appointed it, that the more we improve in these respects, the more our estimation in society, and our comfort in all respects will be increased.

On the subject of having domestics sit in the parlour and eat with the family these things must be taken into consideration. There are some families who live in such a way that it is perfectly convenient for them, to have the one who cooks and waits on table, eat and sit with the family. And then, if the character and manners of a domestic are suitable, there is no reason why this practice should not be adopted. But there is another class of persons, whose style of living is such, that it would be very inconvenient to have the one who cooks and waits on table sit and eat with the family. In such families one person is needed during meals to attend to matters in the kitchen, and another person to change dishes and carry food back and forth, and if these persons sat at table there would be constant disorder and confusion in jumping up from table to perform these services, while a dress suitable for kitchen work would not be suitable at a table where company is often entertained. Besides this, the master of a family often is so engaged in business that the only time he can see his wife and children together is at meals, and then he wishes to be at liberty to talk freely, as he could not do, if every stranger he hires must come to his family meal.

For these reasons, even if domestics were ever so well educated and well bred, there are reasons why it would be more agreeable and convenient to have the family eat and sit by themselves, and domestics eat and sit in the kitchen. And when domestics do become intelligent, and well educated, they will have sense enough to feel, that the place where they sit or eat, has nothing to do with their respectability. They will see that it is most convenient to sit and eat in the kitchen, and they will choose to do so themselves, and never think that it is any hardship, or any thing that implies, that they are not as good and as respectable as any other members of the family.

It is because domestics do not consider these things, that they sometimes feel that it is all owing to pride, that their employers do not have their domestics share the parlour and family meal. Now I do not doubt that there are some employers that have a foolish pride of this sort, which is as unworthy of a Christian, as it is of a republican people. But so far as I have observed, it is among those who have the least claims to be considered as well bred and well educated.

The more education and good sense a person has, the more it is seen that respectability depends not on the employment, but on the character of a person. And those who put on the most airs of aristocracy and superiority, are generally those who have risen from circumstances where they had no chance to gain the education and good breeding, that would have taught them better.

But in most cases, among well educated and sensible persons, the great reason for having domestics have a separate sitting-room and tables is, that it is more convenient to the family, and in most cases, it is also most convenient and agreeable to domestics themselves.

When domestics cannot dress and appear like the family, and when their education and manners do not qualify them for the society that visits the family, in most cases, they themselves would prefer to sit and to eat in the kitchen, and would regard it as a great trial to be obliged to sit and eat with the family.